Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What a Swell day!

A couple of days ago, we put on our swimmers, grabbed some towels and sand toys and headed out to the beach just south of our regular beach. We went to this other beach because they were having their annual 'Swell' exhibition. For about 1 km along the beachfront, just behind the sand or, in some cases, on the sand, there were about 45 different sculptures spaced at regular intervals.

When we got there, we looked at a few and then Cary, Summer and Nicholas just wanted to go to the beach. So we got them parked and AJ and I wandered along the rest of the exhibition. His favourite was an old truck with metal birds sitting on it. My favourite was what I call 'tree man' which was a tall tree that also looked like a man with a wise face, pot belly, a live fern for hair and just a lot of character. I wish I had my camera, but I did not.

The highlight of the day was one spot where there was a wind quartet playing under a gazebo. People were gathered in front of them on blankets. Behind them was the beach, a perfect day, sunshine, waves softly landing on the shore and 100 or so people flying kites from the sand as a part of the celebration of the day. Again, I wished I had my camera, but I knew that the camera would not capture the absolute joy I was feeling in that moment and so I took a piece of that feeling and stored it in my heart.

AJ and I walked to the end, explored around there a bit and then ran along the shoreline, kicking water at each other, laughing freely and loving the moment. When we reached the rest of the family, I took off my singlet top and skirt to reveal my body in a bikini for the first time in many years. I have been working out and feeling happy with the changes taking place in my body with eating all raw food as well. I'm not at the point where I'm going to post a picture, but I'm feeling comfortable with my body. We spent the rest of the afternoon jumping in the waves and riding body boards. It really was a swell day!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

"I'm not gonna hold back no more.."

I love that line from Amy Steinberg's song 'Shine' from her 'Fall down to fly' album. It's been like a mantra in my head lately. I wake up in the middle of the night and it's still there. It's bloody brilliant! It's triggered something and I'm not afraid anymore. I didn't think I was before, and I used to be all about finding peace that I didn't always speak up or come forward. Now it's as though lots of different lessons have come together and the real me is stepping out of her old cocoon and boy oh boy don't my wings look beautiful!

Neale Donald Walsch talks about living authentically and that denying yourself is the highest form of denial. We all have a reason to be here, we all have something special to share here. By not sharing that, we are denying the world of our own personal shine.

I don't hold back anymore. My thoughts, feelings and opinions are worthy and a valid part of me that deserve to be heard. eg, this morning I took the kids to the park so we could all play monkey on the climbing net. I've been loving hanging upside down and flipping over. Anyway, when we got there, I thought I saw some teenage boys over at the lake shooting rocks at the seagulls with their sling-shots. Maybe I was wrong...I kept an eye on them. When I saw them walking along following some seagulls and aiming at them, I stormed over to them and stopped them mid-fling with a loud "HEY!" and told them to stop shooting at the birds. I kept walking towards them and they started walking away from me. I was so fired up! One of them spoke to me over his shoulder as they started walking back to their gang of friends. I was suggesting that they shoot at the leaves in the pond, or they throw things up in the air for the other one to shoot at, but they had a smart alec answer to everything I said. I told them I'd be watching them and if they shot at another bird, I'd call the police. When I was talking to them, I felt so strong and powerful and positive. I was really trying to redirect their game in a way that could still be fun for them, but not cruel. They kept watching me watching them and I knew they were going to go for the birds again so I called the police. I also called Cary and he came down and the moment he saw them shooting at the birds, he went over and talked to them and then he called the police too. I waited a while for the police, but we had a couple of other things to do so the kids and I left. Cary left to go and get a newspaper and when he got back the police were there giving the boys a strong talking to. They even had one of them in the police car. The sling-shots are a 'restricted item' and the boys were told if there were any dead birds in the area they would be in serious trouble.

The thing is, once upon a time, I would not have said anything to the boys, I might not have even called the police. I might have turned a blind eye (hate to admit that), or even left. In recent months, I might have called out a kind of meek "hey you boys, stop doing that" rather that going right up to them, full of power, looking to talk to them about why they were doing what they were doing and trying to convince them to change their focus. But I'm not holding back anymore! I'm livin' large and living my truth! I LOVE this feeling!!!!!

A couple of nights ago we all watched the movie "Last Holiday" with Queen Latifah. Excellent! Great for inspiring everyone to get out there and LIVE! So what are you doing on the computer? Go hug someone, get outside and soak up some sunshine or watch a butterfly or climb a tree! I'm going to go do all of that right now! IN JOY!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

sigh of contentment

I've been feeling really good eating mostly raw food. My digestion is much happier and my body is still detoxing a bit, but I know it won't be long before that vibrant energy returns.

We had a great day yesterday with our favourite homeschool group. They had a kite theme and mother nature kindly turned on a nice breeze without it being too windy. We, and some others took kites, others made kites or tied streamers onto sticks and things to run around with. Such a relaxed, easy atmosphere. Such a beautiful area. Such awesome families to hang out with. (We still love you las vegas life learners too!)

Not much else to say at the moment. Today we are going to the library this morning, home for lunch then I think we'll go hang out on the beach. Summer and AJ are into learning chess at the moment so we'll probably fit a few games in along the way. Right now, Cary and the kids are in the other room doing SingStar on the PlayStation. Favourite songs at the moment: "Video killed the radio star" and "Girls just wanna have fun".

Love this life!!

Friday, September 05, 2008

change for the better

After a warm start to Spring here on 1st Sept, old man winter is making a last stand. Cool, windy weather with lots of rain has been beating on our house - and we are staying warm and dry inside! Ah, how living in a caravan for 12 months will give a greater appreciation for 4 solid walls and a tiled roof! We've been enjoying our dry space, playing monopoly, playing with cars and the train set and watching movies.

Summer started a music class with her homeschool drama group and absolutely loves it. AJ is still loving gymnastics and is absolutely focused on us getting a dog or cat. We would all love that again, but have to be sure we're going to stay here. There's a chance we may go back to the US for a year or so before coming back here. To get our animal fix, we are looking at volunteering at animal shelters. We've only discussed that, I haven't started looking into it yet as I'm concerned we'll want to bring some of them home, and also, the kids have been sick.

For far too long we've been passing a cold/cough thing around with the occasional fever thrown in to keep things interesting. In addition to that, my stomach - digestion has been playing up a lot. I eat fruit in the morning, but as soon as I'd eat something cooked, I'd feel uncomfortable. It was just a little bit at first, so I'd ignore it but by the end of the day I was quite uncomfortable. I would wake up feeling tired and lack energy most of the day. Enough!!!

I want to experience vibrant health for the rest of my life. I want to be one of those 90 year old women who are still out kayaking and hiking and inspiring people.

I thought back to a time when I felt fantastic - when I was eating a diet high in raw food, and even all raw food for a while. I knew I needed to get back to that. I've had enough pain and choose what gives me pleasure - I claim health for myself!

The very first day I went back to high raw - I had a little rice and refried beans at dinner - I felt great! No discomfort at all and much better energy levels. Duh. I've got a little detox going on at the moment with some cold symptoms, but despite that, I feel good. So much better now with out the constant internal discomfort. My body is asking me to take it easy at the moment while I transition a little more and let my body heal more fully. This rainy weather is good for staying home and doing just that.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Inspiration from Neale Donald Walsch

Today I received the following email from NDW:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know....

...that life has nothing to do with what you are doing, and everything to do with what you are being.
Be careful not to get caught in the "doingness" of your life. That is not what you are here for.
You are a sacred soul, and you came here to the earth to Be something.
And not just one thing, but many things. The wonderful thing is, you get to choose what that is. And you get to do that right now. Always Right Now.

So what do you choose to Be right now? Happy? Content? Safe? Peace? Forgiving? Compassionate? Love? Go ahead, choose. As many as you wish! Love, Your Friend.... Neale

I love that he says "not just one thing, but many things.". Often I feel like I should focus on one area of interest. But it doesn't last because other things also interest me and feel 'right' for me. Reading his email has freed me to remove the 'should' from my focus and allow me to flitter freely between my interests, knowing it is all as it should be. I can Be it all. I Am it all!