Saturday, September 24, 2011

calming back to me

I have not been on the computer much at all lately...just been too too busy.  Life is calming down now and I feel myself coming back into balance.  I decided to just stop worrying about all of the things that "have to" get done, because, basically, the stress of it all was affecting my bliss.  Which in turn affected everyone else in the family.  Our choices to live this way, house free, were based on previous experience where we felt light and free.  This time around, it hasn't felt like that...yet.  I'm not going to go on about it though.  I'm changing my focus to do the things that I choose to do, to stop and smell the flowers, sit on the beach, play, and basically get back into living in the moment, even when I'm doing tasks that might not be 'fun'. 

I'm sure I've had this realisation before, but this time, I needed to go through a whole lot of processing in order to 'get it' again.  My life felt as though it was in chaos, but I reached a point where I could make a decision to just stop buying into that train of thought, and let it go. 

Something else that came up for me in the past weeks of challenges, has been an underlying questioning of who I Am, and what the heck am I doing with my life?  I am surrendering into those questions and looking for absolute Truth.  One thing that I now see as an absolute necessity is to make some time for myself.  I need to maintain my connection to me so that I can better connect to those around me.  I have gotten lost in so many of the stresses and dramas around me lately.  Some of that was good, as in dealing with my Dad's death, but some of it was definitely toxic.

This 'dealing with major stress' lesson has been repeated many times in my life.  I hope that the next time it comes around, I can remember the importance of maintaining my connection and balance and presence, so that I can deal with it all gracefully.

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