Monday, April 13, 2015


When I was younger, I thought that 50 was 'old'!  Ha!!!  I just turned 50 and I decided to have fun with it rather than being depressed.  Why should I be?  Not all people get to see this milestone, and I am grateful for it!  

My silly mood was infectious!

In recent years, my body has gone through some very interesting changes which I find fascinating!  As both a participant and an observer of this dance...the band is changing mid-song and there is an awkwardness amongst the players (hormones etc) as they try to find out where they are supposed to be sitting now.  It's as though the sheet music has blown in and landed skewiff on the music stand.  It's sometimes loud and bold, sometimes soft, sad, light, lovely and/or playful or deep and thoughtful.  I never know what to expect, so I just go with whatever is playing, learning more about acceptance along the way.

Like a river, I'm flowing with it.  All of it.  The wild rapids and the still ponds.

I believe that my body knows what to do.  It's survived everything else in the past 50 years, including the chemical shitstorm that I threw at it in my teens and twenties.  It's known how to build, birth and feed three beautiful babies.  I figure that it knows how to handle this next dance as well!

In my acceptance of these physical changes as well as the fact that I am no longer physically young, I am free to live with more Joy!

My Grandfather, who lived into his mid-90's, used to say "I'm just a day older than yesterday!"  I've integrated that mindset and I've had the best, happiest, and most fun birthday ever!

I've observed that every decade of my life has just gotten better!  Each has had its own set of wonderful highs and crushing lows.  But with time, my ability to ride those waves has improved.  I know that I won't be stuck in the troughs for long, and I know to deeply appreciate the crests when I'm there.  Over all though, I have a sense of inner calm which was definitely missing when I was physically younger.  It's a place that I keep returning to, even when the band starts playing out of tune.

This, right here, is such a good life!  I love this wild, crazy, beautiful, graceful, absolutely lovely dance!

So, on my actual birthday, all that I wanted to do was to go to the beach and watch the sunrise (5:53am).   Then I wanted to dive into the waves at the same time that I was born (5:55am).  It was handy that the two things were so close together!   

What I didn't know though, was that Cary had arranged for my Mum, sister Ros and brother-in-law Bob, to come up the afternoon before my birthday to start a three-day celebration of ME!   It was such a thrill to come home the day before my birthday and find them making a lot of noise in the holiday-rental-townhouse right next door to ours!   I looked out from my bedroom balcony to the pool area in the neighbours yard and I saw my Mum and Ros blowing those celebration blower thingys,  and Bob and this in the pool:

I just had to dive right into that!  (Not from my balcony though!  I did walk around and hug and cry on everyone first!  It was good that the kids and I had just come from Wet n Wild so I was still in my swimmers.)

One of my favourite aunts and her partner came to visit that first night and we all went out for dinner that night at a local vegetarian restaurant.  The next morning, my actual birthday(!), my family, my Mum, Ros and Bob all got up around 5am and started getting ready to go to the beach.  We got there as it was getting light.  I wrote a big 50!!!!! in the sand and we danced around, or sat and watched the sky as we waited for the sunrise.  

After basking in its magnificence for two minutes, we held hand and ran into the water before I let go and dived into a beautiful breaking wave.

Mum and I

Oh wow, it was such a happy, fun, joyous time!  The whole weekend went too fast!  After playing on the beach, we went for a walk, then out for breakfast at this place in the photo below, overlooking the ocean, watching the amazing show put on by the combination of clouds and rising sun:

After getting changed, all the girls went out op-shopping and came home to find my brother and his wife on their way to stay for the night!  My sister and Mum had prepared a slideshow of my life which was lovely but quite long...well you know, it was 50 years worth!!!... so we needed a long intermission in between watching it!  I made pancakes for everyone the next morning and we went to some markets after a swim.

Not only was the weekend with my family wonderful, but some very lovely friends had done some special things to help me celebrate my birthday.  I am so grateful for them!  They have become my extended family here!

I feel so loved!  And I am so deeply grateful to Cary for arranging the surprise and so many other details of the weekend.  I am grateful to my children for helping with the planning and keeping the surprise!  I am grateful to my Mum, Ros and Bob, for driving all the way up here to spend this time with us, and for so many other wonderful things that you did to make the weekend truly magical!  They went above and beyond and I am so honoured and amazed and still on a high, though I miss them like crazy!

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