Sunday, March 25, 2007

Early morning

It's very early in the morning and, once again, I am awake. It's so rare these days that I can sleep a whole night through. I try to sleep, but once my mind is awake, it likes to take advantage of the quiet to think about things.
The kids had last week off school. In the beginning, they were not well with a fever but towards the end of the week, they were much brighter though still not 100%, so we took a short trip up to Brisbane. We looked around north Brisbane on the coast, saw my brother and came back the next day. We did not like that area so we are fully focused on the Sunshine Coast and just need to narrow down where in that area. I'm excited. This whole process has been interesting. I thought I was free-spirited enough to just pick up and go when we first thought about it but then emotions and some practicalities got involved. I thought about the friends we'd made here, the school, the quiet beautiful area we live in, the fact that we had only recently moved and I was enjoying feeling settled. But now I feel unsettled and restless and eager to go. I had to work through all of the feelings that came up and acknowledge that they were valid. But I also realised that some of the fears surfacing came from a lack mentality, from me thinking that it couldn't be as good somewhere else. I know that some of the friends I've made here will keep in touch, and that there are new friends waiting to be made. I know that there are other beautiful areas waiting to be explored and appreciated. I know that there are plenty of options regarding the children and "education" and that the children are more adaptable than I was giving them credit for. I have been working on strengthening my relationships with my children - really connecting with them, giving them more affection and one-on-one time and communicating in a more honest and open and direct way. I am feeling stronger as a parent and as a person. I am putting my family first instead of spreading myself too thin by trying to work on other projects and do other things. By keeping the family strong, we can do anything together!

On the way back from this recent trip, as we got closer to home, Sami said that she did not want to go home, she wanted to keep travelling around. I told her about a classmate of hers that would soon be leaving to travel around Australia with her family indefinitely. Sami's eyes got wide with excitement and thought that sounded like a fabulous idea.

I've started looking around this house and seeing things that I don't use or want anymore. We're going to have a big clean out in the garage which still has boxes of things there from my previous life here and things we had sent over from the USA. Then I'm going to start a box for us to put items in for a future yard sale to have just before we move (if I can wait that long!). Our house isn't junked up, but I want to keep on top of things so that it doesn't get to that level again.

Nicholas is growing so fast and is moving into a whole new stage which is very fun. His use of verbal language is increasing and his imagination is taking off. He's like AJ's little shadow at times but also definitely has his own opinion on how things should be. And loud...oh my goodness. Was I ever wrong for thinking he would be the quiet one!

So life is good. I'm glad we have the 3 extra months here to just enjoy the great things about this area while we are here and plan how we want things to be when we do move.

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