...I get a pang - of what, is it grief? longing? - for some of the material stuff we left behind. It's not as strong as it used to be, and it is getting less frequent, but it still comes and I didn't expect that. It's usually directed towards a few specific books - which I know can be replaced but those specific copies already had my energy in them. Also, some of the kids toys and games. I think I was more attached to them than the kids were! Probably because I put a lot of time and thought into shopping around, getting good deals and organising their room.
I think what I'm feeling is a sense that I wasn't quite finished with those things. Some of the books, I may not have even read yet, but planned on doing so. Some of the toys and games the kids played with a lot or a little but they might have wanted to do so again as we had such a good time in the past with them. Things they might have grown out of could have been passed on to Nukie.
At least we had a choice of what to bring with us. It's not like some natural disaster wiped us out of everything. I still have all of our photos and special mementos. We brought some great toys with us and we've found some other fun toys. I brought some of my other favourite books and have found new favourites at the library and second hand book stores.
Most importantly, we have each other, we have this beautiful area and we have right here, right now to create in whatever way we want. Nothing is more important.
Material stuff is going to flow in and out of my life. That's ok, it's all only background props to the real play of life that is happening with the people front and center.
On the odd occasion when those little pangs do still come up, I will just need to take a moment to remember the fun or the lesson in the item, thank it and let it go and I'll go and hug someone here and be filled with gratitude that they are here and we are together.
Priorities. Perspective. People before things.