I'm re-reading "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. It's a book that inspires the reader to live fully. Parts of the actual Invitation:
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
...I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
...I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
...I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself..
...I want to know if you can live with failure..and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
...It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. ..."
There's more, but these bits just jumped out at me in this moment so perhaps I need to consider them.
I ache to live fully. I've been a fool, many times and am ok about the possibility of being so again. I'm still open. I'd like to be even more wild. I have a very hard time disappointing those closest to me in order to be true to myself. I've done it though. I've had many failures which I prefer to think of as lessons. They may knock me down for a short while, but it doesn't take me long to get going again. What sustains me? Love, the stillness (Peace) deep within when I remember to get in touch with it, Adventure, Faith in the grand plan and the Creator of that.
Maybe from this, I can figure out what it actually means to me when I say that I want to live a full life. If I only had a few months left to live, how would I live? Is that what living fully means? To live as if we were going to die? (No, because that could put the emphasis in the wrong place. Besides, we're all going to die sometime - that needs to be accepted as a normal part of life.) What would I eat? (Only the freshest, organic fruits and veges, a little freshly baked bread or baked sweet potato and a little chocolate!) Where would I go? (To the tropics, wherever it was dry season. I simply cannot stand to be cold.) What would I do? (Spend time with my husband and children, family and friends - playing, swimming, reading aloud, cuddling, telling silly stories. I'd also do more Reiki and yoga and be more vocal about living simply and gently. Maybe I'd write more too.) I think the most important part would be that I would find it easier to live in the moment, to be fully present and to appreciate all of the beauty and joy in ordinary moments.
Hmm..that was an interesting little exercise. I've often said that I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of not living a full life. It looks like I need to work on being true to myself, even when others don't approve, to risk possible conflict instead of always trying to be the Peacemaker. To take time to get in touch with myself to Know and Be still and absolutely in touch with what it is I really feel and want. To be more vocal about my beliefs, needs and desires. I have been working on removing a block in my throat chakra and I believe it's working! To remember to be here now. I feel so good when I can stay in the moment, everything seems possible...and it is!