Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Lessons from Mirrors

Something happened yesterday that came out of the blue. Details don't matter, but basically, someone I thought was a friend was not and they were able to interfere with my friendship with another. I was so sad that at first I wanted to cry but then it quickly turned to anger, quietened down to pity and I began to question why this might have happened. The person is very insecure and I think my way of life and ideas threatens her sense of security.
I was angry about why she acts one way in front of me and then obviously talks behind my back. Why do people do that? Why was she so false with her nice mask on?

Is there a mirror here? Is this something I still do? Do I ever say one thing when I'm feeling another? I know I used to sometimes. In peeling my outer layers to expose my real, raw self, maybe this is a lesson. Maybe I'm being shown an extreme example of something I still need to work on. Aligning my inner thoughts with my outer expression. Hmm, I'll have to be more aware of that to see if, when, where it happens.
Maybe it's in the just not saying anything when I really want to. That's most probably it.

Oh, this is exciting, all these great lessons. I'm really enjoying these growth spurts. Even though it's a little painful at times, I feel myself getting stronger all the time. And lighter.

It's all good!

1 comment:

MommyKore said...

Been there! I don't get it either, and it discourages me from getting too close to people--other women, to be specific. Bravo! on recognising this as a learning experience, and being very cool about it!