Friday, May 30, 2008

whole lesson

Last week Summer seemed to be struggling - she seemed really angry. Her mood would switch at the drop of a hat. Her chiropractor attributed it to her de-toxing. I was starting to blame myself for all of the times I had not modelled appropriate outlets for frustration. All of the times when I yelled, slammed, stomped and generally lost it. I was thinking of my desire for peace and how I 'should' be able to be the 'good' role model for that, which is what I often am - in my mind. I was hard on myself for not being calmer more often.

I expressed that feeling to a dear friend who reminded me that if I was to be calm all or most of the time, I would not be showing my children how to be a whole person. She reminded me that passion is a normal and good part of life, and it just needs appropriate outlets.

It got me thinking about the yin and yang of life and the search for balance. The balance we see so evident in nature - light and dark, cold and heat, etc.

I can see plenty of times when I have denied my wild side. I am fire and cannot deny that. We have four fire signs in this family, Nicholas is an air sign. We have plenty of passion! My friend is right - we need to ensure we have creative outlets for this. I have a wild side - always have, always will. And I love it! I also love my peaceful, gentle self. I can do it all!!

A while back I spoke about changing my name to river. Well I've thought more about that, and realised that is not the right name. As a fire sign, I cannot take a water name. I continue to be me, just as I AM.

1 comment:

Tara said...

Hmm, good post. Have to think this over. Z has been dealing with a lot of anger lately too. And I often wonder if I'm not modeling how to deal with passionate emotions very well. I'm trying to remember, he's still his own person with his own lessons to learn. He's not an exact replica of me. And I have to let him learn some things without my trying to help him "get it".

I like what you said about your wild side and your quiet side. I like to "Wear many different hats" too. Can you imagine some people call that crazy? I call it experimental and diversified. ;)