Last week I went to see the chiropractor / kinesiologist that Summer has been seeing. I felt that he could help me get back on track to feeling great. At the appointment, he said that my body was stuck in a de-tox and was spinning it's wheels trying to get out. He did some adjustments and energy work and we had a great conversation about healing. I left there feeling fantastic! I felt as though all of my chakras were aligned and in balance for the first time in a very long time. I felt very relaxed, playful and joyful. The feeling continued for two days until I let some things around here get to me. Ahhh...I want it back!
I saw Dr. Keith again today. He spoke about teaching me to become a "master of negativity". What? He means becoming a master of myself so that negativity no longer bothers me. He said that most people back away from negativity which actually gives it power to grow. But if we face it, it gives it less power. In my mind, I saw negativity as darkness and me as light and saw how taking my light into the darkness would help get rid of the darkness. I shared that with him and he liked that description. Now the trick, how to hold onto my light! Dr. K has offered to teach me some techniques, but I'm wondering how much I already know. I left his office feeling deeply relaxed and thoughtful.
I've been on an awareness journey for most of my life. For most of that though, I felt as though I wasn't worthy enough to get the kind of results I was seeking. I'm over that thought pattern now and have been seeking more mastery within myself. Feeling worthy is a fairly recent development considering the length of this journey so far. Even after becoming a Reiki Master four years ago, I kind of backed away from Reiki, feeling no where near ready to be called a Master.
I think I've been feeling that I have not been living in alignment with Who I Really Am and I think that it's been this all along, more so than an issue of "worth".
In 'Friendship with God' by Neale Donald Walsch, God suggests asking one question before and after every decision in life: "Is this Who I Am?".
I feel as though I am close to living Who I Am, but need a little fine-tuning. Holding onto my light at all times will require more conscious awareness. More gratitude. Quiet time. Trust in myself, others and the whole process. Gentleness with myself, others and the whole process. And a continued commitment to health - including things I spoke about in another post - rest, sunshine, play, fun as well as exercise and foods that serve me best.
This adventure within really is very exciting!