Monday, May 07, 2012

going deeper on the road

I feel like I missed an important part when talking about our road trip in my previous post.

I spent most of the trip embracing a feeling of richness...of expansion...of freedom.  I was in a state of Joy! 

There is something about driving along the highway, with all of those windows around me, that makes me feel like I am a part of that wider view.  It makes me feel larger.  I makes me feel like anything is possible. 

Traveling lightly gives me additional freedom to release attachment and to Be in the moment.  I am reminded to Trust...that anything I don't have with me, and may need...will be provided.  That doesn't necessarily mean that someone magically appears and says "oh, you're is a blanket" (though that has happened).  But that the opportunity to fill a need will be made clear and will perhaps bring with it other bonuses as well.  It's like treasures appear when we are open to having our needs met in unexpected places (or even in expected places).  And the treasures might not be material things...they might be experiences. And we might not even recognise the need until it is staring us in the face.

I could talk about the time when we went looking for an information center for a map and found a delightful environmental center, or when we went to the op shop to get some warmer gear and were treated better than we would have been at a fancy high-end store, or the friendly bus driver we met who took extra time to explain where I needed to go, even though there was a long line waiting behind me, or the wonderful time we had with our family along the way and the gems of memories that we co-created, or the amazing time we had with the new friends we met at the camp.  I had met a few of the other campers at a previous conference, and it was wonderful to see them again and make new friends...friends that really understand us, that we just connected instantly with.  Yes, so many treasures!

The way that Summer connected with the teens at the camp made it obvious to me that she needs more of that.  Unfortunately, she hasn't made quite the same degree of connection here, as she did there.  The trip has helped me to become more aware of that need for her, and more understanding of the type of person and activities that interest her.  We will be trying different groups and options in this area and other areas and seeing what treasures we come across in the process. 

There were a few times on the trip when my shadow side showed itself.  When I was tired, overwhelmed or hungry.  It wasn't often, and I soon recognised why I wasn't feeling so positive.  It's okay...I'm not going to beat myself up or feel guilty because I slipped.  We all do.  I've realised it's impossible to stay "Up" all of the time.  I think that 47 years on this roller coaster of Life has helped me to appreciate so much.  Especially the little moments, the connections with real people, being in nature, living outside of walls, living in a community - our tribe - even if just for a little while.  Yes, I choose to feel so rich with the joy and with gratitude of each experience. 

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