Friday, February 08, 2013

Trust...

At different times in my life I've had a guiding word.  A word that was significant to where I was on this smorgasboard / rollercoaster journey of life, what I was working through and who I wanted to be.  'Peace', 'Freedom', 'Strength', 'Courage', etc.   Currently, my word is 'Trust'. I am working on remembering to Trust that I am being guided, that my life is unfolding as it should.  I know that the more I relax and Trust, the more my life flows smoothly.  When I try to force something that clearly isn't working, then I know I need to stop trying to control it and trust that I'll be guided to the right way. 

How do I know if it isn't working? .... By how I feel.  If something is causing any kind of discomfort within me, then I'm on the wrong path.  It's that little voice inside, guiding me.  All too often I've forgotten to listen, or have stubbornly ignored it in the past.  Thinking that I could possibly be in full control!  Ha! 
If Trust is my main order at the moment, I also have a side dish of 'letting go', and 'clarity'.  With Letting Go, I find that, in most cases, something else will move in to take the available place.  It can be as simple as when I donate some of my clothes and then soon after I happen to find a new (to me) item of clothing that I really like.  Often, the Letting Go leads to Clarity....like when I finally let go of having long hair, I realised with clarity, that I am actually preferring my hair to be short.  Sometimes though, the Letting Go feels big and it leaves a murky pool behind.  I find that I've been looking into that murky pool for a while now, since some recent shifts in my life, and wondering why I'm feeling stagnant.  I'm looking at so many options...and it is wonderful to have them...but feeling drawn in many different directions...expanding and contracting at the same time.  Feeling duality pushing and pulling, the depths and the heights, the past and the future, the swirling and...perhaps not enough time for the stillness. 

Where I am, right now, is lush.  I can look behind me and see the winding, crazy road that has led me here...the thorns and the roses along the way.  Maybe I'm attempting to see the future in the murky pool in front of me, instead of surrendering...trusting...that All Is Well.  I remind myself that I can Trust that I have everything I need, right here, right now.  I remind myself that I am safe, I am Whole, I am Loved, I Am Love, I am Wild and... I am Free!

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