Wednesday, September 17, 2014

on the journey...

This came to me via Facebook.  Oh how I relate..  I've had a lot of friends come and go as our paths merge then diverge...and sometimes merge again.   I can't spend too much time looking back.

More and more, I feel a sense of urgency, of time running out.  I don't know if it's because I'm now 49 and I am aware that I could well be over the half-way mark of this time here.  I feel the need to do "something more".  Why?  Do I need to leave a mark?  No, I've done that with my children and the people I've touched.  Do I think I will be held accountable if I don't do "more" with my life?  Like I'll get to the Pearly Gates and get in trouble for fart-arsing around, not always taking this life seriously, for not being more 'normal'.

What is my "sacred purpose" if it is not to Be Love?  
...In whatever way that manifests in the moment?  

People may look at me strangely, and judge me behind my back.  That's their deal.  

Sometimes I can be with a group of people and not relate to any of their stories.  It can be like they are speaking a foreign language, but it's one that maybe I used to know.  I have at times felt alone when surrounded by other people.  But I am very comfortable being by myself.

..... I found the above post in my drafts from about six months ago and decided to go ahead and post it with just a little addition:

 I now do not feel the need to explain myself, which is something I used to do long ago.  I guess you could say that I am pretty comfortable with who I am, where I've been and where I'm going.  

I do not currently feel the sense of urgency, but I do work on ensuring that at most times, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.  I easily speak up and say what I need or want.  I have some really lovely friends.  The weather is warm and wonderful, I'm busy doing fun and interesting things...I guess you could say that I'm happily and deeply content.

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