I have a "big" birthday coming up next year. Several people have asked me what I'm going to do to mark the occasion. I don't want a party. I have thought of maybe going on a retreat by myself for a few days.
I was thinking of what else I could do that might be fitting. I thought about getting a tattoo...nothing big or flashy, just something simple, like the word "love" on my wrist. Something that I would see regularly to remind myself of who I really am and what my purpose is. Something like this:
or maybe this..
I really like this one, but it's just too big for what I was thinking:
So I was talking to Cary (who can't stand tattoos on most people, particularly females), and he asked me why I felt the need to do that. I explained that I felt it would help undo some old conditioning and it would always be there to remind me of The most important 'thing' in every single situation, and what I want to be expressing and radiating at all times. And reminding myself of what my essence really is. That the petty, ego things around me, are not worth getting upset about, and leading to a deeper way of connecting with myself, others and life in general.
He asked me why couldn't I just BE that...why do I feel the need to put permanent ink on my "beautiful" body to remind myself of those things that I already know are inside of me? Why can't I just pause and see the miracle that I already am? Why don't I get a nice bangle or bracelet with "love" engraved onto it until I get to the point where I need no reminders, where I can just BE Love?
He would not have stopped me if I was hell-bent on getting the tat, but he asked me a question to get me to go deeper within myself. At first, I was a little annoyed that he didn't just say "yeah sure...do what you want", but I see the wisdom in his question and I see that I do not need any 'thing' to remind me of my essence. That maybe that 'thing' may even be a distraction and something that I relied on as a crutch so that I didn't need to step fully up to owning it, feeling it, knowing it deeply and living it all the time. I need to stop making excuses and pretending that certain material things - even simple things - can give me the depth I am seeking. That can only come from my heart.
I need to remember that everything that I do is (and can be even more so), an expression of love. From taking care of myself and my family, interacting with others, all of it, ....every. single. moment.
And so it is.