Tuesday, May 03, 2011

lessons from the floor...

...the bathroom floor actually.  I was lying there last night, massive migraine...why?  I felt grateful that my year of weekly migraines was far behind me, but it has been such a long time since I had felt so awful.  I knew it would pass, but it wasn't going to be pretty.  I remembered the years of abuse that I had intentionally inflicted on my body that had sometimes put me in the same position.  I am sooo glad I no longer do those things.  What was going on in my life that had brought me there last night? 

My body is used to eating a pretty clean, simple diet.  It chugs along quite comfortably with that, a little exercise and awareness of stress.  I know that I had eaten some things I don't usually eat while on our road trip, vegetarian instead of vegan, and a little more processed foods that the mostly fresh food I eat.  I didn't exercise a whole lot while we were away, but I was really happy that we had taken two hoops with us and I had more free time to play with those.  We would pull them out almost every time we stopped for any reason and hoop around a little - so great for loosening up the stiff lower back from sitting in the car! 

As I was lying on the floor, I was grateful for the efficiency of my body.  I was grateful for the awareness that there may be a lesson or two there for me. 

The other main difference yesterday was that I had had a cup of coffee.  I have had less than 10 cups of coffee in my whole life.  Now I remember why.  I love the smell, but it does not like me!  I think it was the final push after eating the other things. 

So, apart from not drinking coffee again, what else was going on?  I felt like there was more.  I felt a renewed promise to take care of myself, - my body and how I nourish it through nutrition and move it joyfully, - my mind and where I put my attention and awareness, - my spirit and living my truth.   I was aware that I had been complaining about someone who had been very judgemental, but in my complaining, I had been judging them!  (who's the hypocrite now?!)  I was aware that I have gotten away from some of my core values, just a subtle little side-step, but I made a promise to myself to fully embrace those things again.

Although my experience on the floor was uncomfortable, and messy, it was effective in giving me a little shake to get me back on track.  This morning I feel a little weak in my body, but stronger in my spirit.  I feel excited and grateful for the awareness that allows me to grow, even when I'm down and out. 

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