Last post from USA

I woke up at 4am again. I slept well, but hope I can get a bit more sleep before the big trip. I was lying awake thinking of the journey this has been and will be. Specifically about our 'stuff'.

I had felt good about the decision to load a pallet with our stuff. Then we decided not to even do that, but to just sea-mail a few boxes through the post office. I spent a LOT of time downsizing even further, weighing boxes, figuring out exactly how much it was going to cost through the PO. I sold off a lot more of the things I had wanted to take originally. And it felt ok. At the last yard sale I sold a lot of the books I had wanted to take. I was ok with that because it felt like the small box that I had finally downsized to, had given a clear indication of where my focus for future growth lay. Through sorting through my books, I was able to see the path of what is important for me to do in my life. It was an interesting experience. And I felt good about it.

A similar experience with sorting through more of the toys and things I had wanted to take. I had felt really ok with selling off some of the really neat toys the kids had. I kept thinking "this would be too heavy / they don't play with this very much". Again, it allowed us all to focus on the toys they do play with so I can keep this in mind when we do settle again. I will be more mindful of what I buy instead of just buying something because it's made of wood, or I think it's neat.

But just now, I was lying awake thinking of some of the books and toys and other household things I would have kept if I had stuck to our plan of taking the pallet load. I was feeling a bit pissed off at myself for not being firm in that decision. But I think that there has been so much going on, in a relatively short time, that this has been like a band-aid that was pulled off quickly - it just hit me what has happened and I had a shock for a moment when I wish the band-aid was still there, but after the sting wears off, I'll realise that I feel much better.

If I had not been back-n-forth, I would have missed the valuable lesson in where to focus my growth and what toys are important to my children. I probably would have started accumulating 'stuff' when we get settled again instead of being more mindful of what we get and how we spend our time and money. It's also a lesson in Trust. If those books and toys and things are meant to be in my life, they will reappear. It's a lesson in trusting myself, that I made the right decisions. It's a lesson in Gratitude for the things I do still have. And it's a lesson in Living Simply so that we can Simply Live.

I'm grateful for the lessons. I do wish I could have had those lessons in a less stressful way but perhaps they wouldn't have been so effective.

I've had to say goodbye / farewell to some very dear friends over the past couple of days. A couple of times I've wondered if we are really doing the right thing, do I really want to leave these wonderful people? I have been so blessed with my friends! At least with the internet, it makes it much easier to keep in touch. Thank you dear friends for your love and friendship and support and laughs and tears and lessons.

This time in 24 hours, we will be sitting on a plane over the Pacific Ocean. This time in 48 hours, we'll be playing on a beach in Australia. It's all good!

Cary's IN!!!

We just got word today that Cary's Australian Immigration Visa is approved!!!!!

I am so thrilled to have this news before we leave in TWO DAYS time! Ack! What am I doing playing around on the computer? Too much to do still...gotta go... just had to share the good news!

We're off to see the Wizard...

..or something like that. I do feel a bit like Dorothy only my tornado has had me spinning for weeks. My 'house' - my kids and some of our stuff - will soon be dropped into the land of Oz where we will follow the yellow brick road on a life-changing adventure. I already feel myself changing in ways I cannot yet put into words. I do wish that the other part of my home - my husband - was coming with us. A part of me is a bit nervous about what lies ahead. Another part is wonderfully excited about all of the possibilities and chances to reconnect with family, friends and the land I love. There is another part that knows and accepts this journey on a much deeper level as something I do need to do without Cary. This first part that is, until he is able to join us. It's a chance to get back in touch with myself and stand firm in my courage and creativity. Not that Cary has ever tried to make me a part of him; he's always appreciated that I was an individual. I feel that I have given up parts of myself along the way, which is actually not fair to him or I or the children.

We are now down to 9 days left in the USA. Any regrets? Well I do wish I'd seen more of the beautiful and interesting places here, such as the Grand Canyon and Zion, and taken a drive up the west coast. But I am very grateful for all of the interesting places we did go - Florida, Mexico, different parts of California, Utah, Sedona and the drive across country when we moved here from Maryland. I'm content. When Nicholas is a bit older, we'll come back and do those other things.

Stuffin Stuff

Trying to organise the stuff we were going to take had me so stressed! Trying to figure out what goes, what gets sold or donated, how much will fit on the load, dealing with a ton of paperwork for that, packing boxes so they were full but not too heavy....it was all too much. The stuff was ruling my life. I hated that feeling. We are ready to go to the next level and just sea mail boxes of photos and sentimental things and leave everything else behind. Once we made that decision, I felt so much more relaxed. I sat down with AJ and we played cards - I don't remember the last time we have done that. It felt so good to reconnect with him after being so busy dealing with the physical stuff - our material possessions - that was just draining me.

Sami and AJ both had their hair cut a few days ago. AJ wanted his short so it could be spiked up on top. It looked great the first day but I don't have any gel so now it looks flat, but he still likes it. Sami does not like brushing her hair a lot and it was getting very knotty especially with being at the pool so much this summer. She also does not like doing anything with it except for maybe wearing a headband. She has been saying for a while that she wants it cut really short. Funny - when I was young, I always wanted long hair but my Mum insisted it be kept short because when she was young, she had been made to have long hair and always wanted it short. I had imagined that I would have a daughter who would want to have long hair and would love to let me braid it and do fun things with it. Nope. But I do have a daughter who knows her own mind and is free to follow through on most things, but definately her own hair choice. So my sweet Sami now has a very short, slightly layered bob cut that looks great on her. And she is happy about that.