Responsibility...

I observed a long time ago that:

If I don't expect anything, then I cannot be disappointed.

It worked well, but back then, it came at a cost of personal detachment and aloofness, when deep down, I wanted to be able to get close to people, I just didn't know how.  Probably because I didn't know how to be close to myself first.  Sometimes I'd go to the other extreme and get too attached and would give myself to someone to the point that I relied on them for how I felt.  I'm talking about family and friends as well as romantic situations.  I'd get hurt and jealous and disappointed.

As my personal journey has evolved, I feel these things much less often, but when they do pop up, it's a great chance for me to look at why... Had I attached expectations to something? Did I communicate my needs clearly?  Did I feel that I should have to?

I found myself getting disappointed recently.  I had originally posted here some of the details surrounding that feeling, the events and who did what... but that just felt gossipy and unnecessary.  The thing is, I had not been in alignment with myself, or with Love.  I had stopped doing my Love Meditation every morning as I had been jumping out of bed as soon as I woke up so that I could go to the gym.  My body has been getting stronger, but I have unbalanced my Spirit.  So the source of my disappointment, really comes back to me.   I had not communicated clearly, I had gotten stuck on thinking that I didn't need to, but ultimately, I had lost connection to myself in the process and somehow, the little "I'm not worthy" started to creep back in.  What to do about that?

Personal responsibility is the cure for disappointment.

I cannot expect anything from other people.  I don't mean that to sound bitchy, but seriously, when I take full responsibility for how I feel, then it's really up to me as to how I react to life.

I have tried being a cold, heartless bitch in the past, but it didn't feel right.  Being too open and trusting isn't exactly the right place either as it can leave me feeling like a doormat.   I feel the best when I have a balance where I feel strong and connected to myself first, then others.

I'm taking action and empowering myself!  I'm figuring out how to do things that I haven't done before.  Of course I am Worthy!  I'm also strong and smart and all-round amazing!  So are you!

I'm not going to complain about things I want done.  If I want something done, then that's MY priority.   It's not just physical things either, it's the emotional and spiritual side of life too.

I am responsible for my own happiness!!!

Once I truly own that personal responsibility, then I am more connected to myself, and that joy can be contagious!  I was thinking back to my recent birthday....when I didn't expect anything, and I was clear about a couple of things that I wanted to do.  I assumed responsibility for ensuring that "50" was going to be a fantastic celebration, no matter what happened, because it was already fantastic in my mind. And it really was.  Every day can be that.  It IS that, when I stay focused in Love.

By taking responsibility, I lose the mindset of "expecting" anything from anyone other than myself.  That whole source for disappointment only ever ends up in my court.  I own that, and every other feeling that happens within.  There is something liberating about that!  And it definitely leads to healthier relationships with all of the people in my life!

When I take responsibility for my own happiness, then I allow others to do the same.  We all need to know that we are Worthy of Peace and Love and Incredible Joy!