Judgement...

My kids and I went on a little road trip recently to visit family about 7 hours south of here.

The drive there seemed unusually long.  Partially because it was raining most of the way, and partially because my Learner-driver daughter was driving for several hours.  In the state that we were in, she is limited to travelling at 90km/hr when the speed for full licensed drivers is up to 110km/hr.

By the time that we arrived at our destination, I felt very tired and just kind of blah.  I was aware of a lot of judgment when I got there.  Not directed to me at first, but when the conversation is full of judgement about other people, then I know that there has also been judgement towards me and us.  I found that I was started to get defensive, and as a result, I also adopted some judgement.

It didn't feel good.

But I felt stuck there in that mindset.  On top of that, and having our entire rhythm messed up, it was also very cold and windy.  I have never liked the wind...it agitates me.  Same with the cold.  To have them both was like putting lemon juice in an open wound.  

I became very focused on the external and all of the things that I didn't like.  Then I internalised all of that to a judgy, mucky mess inside of my head.  I felt even worse.

Thankfully, I was also witnessing all of this.  The witness whispered "there is a lesson here".

I started to listen, and to look, and to feel what that lesson might be.

I started feeling that it was related to the judgement that I was feeling, but it was more than that.  I reached out and sent a message to a dear friend.  She read through the lines and gave me some tools to use.  She reminded me of my true essence, that of Love.

What she said opened the door for me to remember.  I remembered that sometimes, those that are trapped in fear, who judge others, have forgotten that they too, are Love.  If I would see them as Love, then I simply could not play into the mode of Judgement.  I remembered to stop squashing my Love.  I remembered to fill myself up from the inside out.  As I did that, and as I focused more on the internal process, the external wind and cold weather bothered me much less.

And with that, I was free to just enjoy every moment.