Fifty!!!

When I was younger, I thought that 50 was 'old'!  Ha!!!  I just turned 50 and I decided to have fun with it rather than being depressed.  Why should I be?  Not all people get to see this milestone, and I am grateful for it!  

My silly mood was infectious!

In recent years, my body has gone through some very interesting changes which I find fascinating!  As both a participant and an observer of this dance...the band is changing mid-song and there is an awkwardness amongst the players (hormones etc) as they try to find out where they are supposed to be sitting now.  It's as though the sheet music has blown in and landed skewiff on the music stand.  It's sometimes loud and bold, sometimes soft, sad, light, lovely and/or playful or deep and thoughtful.  I never know what to expect, so I just go with whatever is playing, learning more about acceptance along the way.

Like a river, I'm flowing with it.  All of it.  The wild rapids and the still ponds.

I believe that my body knows what to do.  It's survived everything else in the past 50 years, including the chemical shitstorm that I threw at it in my teens and twenties.  It's known how to build, birth and feed three beautiful babies.  I figure that it knows how to handle this next dance as well!

In my acceptance of these physical changes as well as the fact that I am no longer physically young, I am free to live with more Joy!

My Grandfather, who lived into his mid-90's, used to say "I'm just a day older than yesterday!"  I've integrated that mindset and I've had the best, happiest, and most fun birthday ever!

I've observed that every decade of my life has just gotten better!  Each has had its own set of wonderful highs and crushing lows.  But with time, my ability to ride those waves has improved.  I know that I won't be stuck in the troughs for long, and I know to deeply appreciate the crests when I'm there.  Over all though, I have a sense of inner calm which was definitely missing when I was physically younger.  It's a place that I keep returning to, even when the band starts playing out of tune.

This, right here, is such a good life!  I love this wild, crazy, beautiful, graceful, absolutely lovely dance!

So, on my actual birthday, all that I wanted to do was to go to the beach and watch the sunrise (5:53am).   Then I wanted to dive into the waves at the same time that I was born (5:55am).  It was handy that the two things were so close together!   

What I didn't know though, was that Cary had arranged for my Mum, sister Ros and brother-in-law Bob, to come up the afternoon before my birthday to start a three-day celebration of ME!   It was such a thrill to come home the day before my birthday and find them making a lot of noise in the holiday-rental-townhouse right next door to ours!   I looked out from my bedroom balcony to the pool area in the neighbours yard and I saw my Mum and Ros blowing those celebration blower thingys,  and Bob and this in the pool:

I just had to dive right into that!  (Not from my balcony though!  I did walk around and hug and cry on everyone first!  It was good that the kids and I had just come from Wet n Wild so I was still in my swimmers.)

One of my favourite aunts and her partner came to visit that first night and we all went out for dinner that night at a local vegetarian restaurant.  The next morning, my actual birthday(!), my family, my Mum, Ros and Bob all got up around 5am and started getting ready to go to the beach.  We got there as it was getting light.  I wrote a big 50!!!!! in the sand and we danced around, or sat and watched the sky as we waited for the sunrise.  

After basking in its magnificence for two minutes, we held hand and ran into the water before I let go and dived into a beautiful breaking wave.

Mum and I

Oh wow, it was such a happy, fun, joyous time!  The whole weekend went too fast!  After playing on the beach, we went for a walk, then out for breakfast at this place in the photo below, overlooking the ocean, watching the amazing show put on by the combination of clouds and rising sun:

After getting changed, all the girls went out op-shopping and came home to find my brother and his wife on their way to stay for the night!  My sister and Mum had prepared a slideshow of my life which was lovely but quite long...well you know, it was 50 years worth!!!... so we needed a long intermission in between watching it!  I made pancakes for everyone the next morning and we went to some markets after a swim.


Not only was the weekend with my family wonderful, but some very lovely friends had done some special things to help me celebrate my birthday.  I am so grateful for them!  They have become my extended family here!

I feel so loved!  And I am so deeply grateful to Cary for arranging the surprise and so many other details of the weekend.  I am grateful to my children for helping with the planning and keeping the surprise!  I am grateful to my Mum, Ros and Bob, for driving all the way up here to spend this time with us, and for so many other wonderful things that you did to make the weekend truly magical!  They went above and beyond and I am so honoured and amazed and still on a high, though I miss them like crazy!

Vegan Pumpkin Pie

A sweet pumpkin pie is traditional in the USA for Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations.  I have been making this pie for many years, at any time of the year, and it's always very popular.  We haven't quite decided if we prefer it warm out of the oven with some vegan vanilla ice cream melted over the top, or cold out of the fridge.  Both ways are great!   It's easy, cruelty-free and delicious!  In Joy!!

VEGAN PUMPKIN PIE

Crust:

1 1/4 cups flour (I like wholemeal spelt, but use what you like)
1/4 tsp salt
~ mix these together then add:
1/2 cup vegan shortening (in Australia, I use Nuttelex)
~ rub together, mixing well, then add:
1 Tablespoon water (use a little more if you need to)
~ knead for 1-2 minutes to form a ball of dough.  Wrap in greaseproof paper and chill for 30 mins.   Roll into a pie plate.  Prick holes in the bottom before adding filling.  (no need to pre-bake)

Filling:

340g (3/4lb) tofu
1/3 cup coconut oil
1 teaspoon salt
~ put these into a blender and blend until smooth.  Then add:
1 cup packed brown sugar
3 Tablespoons flour
425g (15oz) cooked pumpkin (I steam mine; you can use canned)
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon powdered ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons vanilla
~ blend well

Pour into pie crust.  Bake at 180 C / 350 F for 40 minutes.

Enjoy!

Love Meditation...

Before I get out of bed in the morning, with my eyes still closed, I imagine warm light coming down into the top of my head and I say to myself

    I am aligned with Love

I continue to move that light feeling slowly down my body, filling each area.
At my forehead, I say

    I think with Love

At my eyes,  I see with Love

At my ears,  I listen with Love

At my nose,  I inhale Love... I exhale Love

At my mouth, as I exhale   I speak with Love
                       as I inhale    I eat with Love

At my heart, as I inhale  I feel with Love
                     as I exhale  I radiate Love

At my solar plexus,  my strength is Love
                                    my power is Love            

At my naval,   I move with Love
                           I create with Love

At the base of my spine,  I am safe in Love
                                            I am secure in Love

to my feet,   I am grounded in Love 

then..
           I am surrounded by Love
               I am filled with Love
                 Love is all that I am
                     I Am Love


~ At night time, I say the meditation in the opposite order as I am going to sleep.  If I make it all the way through, at the end, I repeat

       Love is all that I am.... I Am Love

Being love...

The recent shift that I experienced a month ago has stayed with me.  I've had a stress-free December.  Life has been flowing calmly and joyfully.  Two birthdays, a road trip and Christmas all within 22 days.  I've maintained a connection with Love and have been filled with ongoing Joy and Gratitude.

I have a "big" birthday coming up next year.  Several people have asked me what I'm going to do to mark the occasion.  I don't want a party.  I have thought of maybe going on a retreat by myself for a few days.

I was thinking of what else I could do that might be fitting.  I thought about getting a tattoo...nothing big or flashy, just something simple, like the word "love" on my wrist.  Something that I would see regularly to remind myself of who I really am and what my purpose is.  Something like this:

or maybe this..

I really like this one, but it's just too big for what I was thinking:

So I was talking to Cary (who can't stand tattoos on most people, particularly females), and he asked me why I felt the need to do that.  I explained that I felt it would help undo some old conditioning and it would always be there to remind me of The most important 'thing' in every single situation, and what I want to be expressing and radiating at all times.  And reminding myself of what my essence really is.  That the petty, ego things around me, are not worth getting upset about, and leading to a deeper way of connecting with myself, others and life in general.

He asked me why couldn't I just BE that...why do I feel the need to put permanent ink on my "beautiful" body to remind myself of those things that I already know are inside of me?  Why can't I just pause and see the miracle that I already am?  Why don't I get a nice bangle or bracelet with "love" engraved onto it until I get to the point where I need no reminders, where I can just BE Love?

He would not have stopped me if I was hell-bent on getting the tat, but he asked me a question to get me to go deeper within myself.   At first, I was a little annoyed that he didn't just say "yeah sure...do what you want", but I see the wisdom in his question and I see that I do not need any 'thing' to remind me of my essence.  That maybe that 'thing' may even be a distraction and something that I relied on as a crutch so that I didn't need to step fully up to owning it, feeling it, knowing it deeply and living it all the time.  I need to stop making excuses and pretending that certain material things - even simple things - can give me the depth I am seeking.  That can only come from my heart.

I need to remember that everything that I do is (and can be even more so), an expression of love.  From taking care of myself and my family, interacting with others, all of it, ....every. single. moment.

And so it is.

Living Love...

I inhale love....

                  I exhale love....

.... just something I say to myself when I feel that I'm slipping into some old way of thinking.  When I'm out and about and the crowd or some other trigger has me wanting to go within and find a quiet space.  

I think I'm smiling more these days.  I know that I feel like I'm smiling inside of me more.

I am aligned with Love.

No grand displays, no major announcements, nothing flashy.  On the outside, it looks like nothing much has changed.  But oh, the delicious peace and lightness and freedom that I feel inside is just divine!

I'm finding that I'm much more aware of rote actions and thoughts that no longer serve me in Living As Love.  Petty judgements, reactions, random thoughts.  Sometimes they still appear, but they no longer feel good and they are soon replaced with a strong need to turn it around from a place of "What would Love do now?".  I get a feeling of how I would have preferred to act, and I put that feeling over the top of what just happened and aim to do it differently next time.  I'm learning.  And I'm being gentle with myself, because that's just how Love is!

I get excited doing things that would have triggered some anxiety or negative thinking in the past.  It's so wonderful to know that I can do it all differently....it's just a choice.  

Going into a crowded shopping mall, I am enjoying the music and the intention for Joy that it was created with.  I love watching shoppers choose gifts, thinking about people that they love (or at least like a bit).  

Underlying everything, I feel the steady warmth of Love.  I know that I am safe and secure,  and that's so good for my ego.  At the same time, my spirit feels free and light.  And happy.... so happy!

Joy to the world!!!

Pausing before I posted this, I had a scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook and found this, and I so agree with it:

LOVE IS YOURS

Greater perhaps than the joy of being loved,
is the joy of loving.

Greater perhaps than the drama of seeking love, finding love and losing love,
is being love itself.

Nothing and nobody
can stop you from loving, from giving love,
from opening your heart wide,
from shining as brightly as the sun itself,
illuminating everything in your path.

Love is yours, forever and beyond time.
It cannot be taken.
It cannot be destroyed.

For it is who you are,
before you were named.

- Jeff Foster  (lifewithoutacentre.com)

a touch of melancholy... and returning to Love

It's that time of the year again.

I am filled with memories and a little stuck on how to incorporate meaning into this most silly of all seasons.

I do not enjoy going to the shops, for the crowds of people and the Christmas music.  The music is what gets to me the most.  It's a strong connection to memories of my Dad, and to the 12.5 years I lived in the USA.  Over there, it was cold at Christmas, we had the fire going, we rugged up to go out at night to look at the Christmas lights around the neighbourhood.  It was like the Christmas that I had always seen in movies when I was in the hot Australian summer Christmas.  Yet, I always had an underlying homesickness.  Returning to Australia, I found that perhaps I had romanticized my memories.  Suddenly I was torn between two countries, slightly different traditions, vastly different climates, and the purpose of it all seemed always just out of reach.

Is this the year that I can find Peace with this season?

Today is Thanksgiving in the USA.  The first Thanksgiving that I experienced in the US was wonderful.  My new family there, having fun in the kitchen together to prepare special foods, enjoying feasting together....it seemed so much like Christmas without the pressure and presents and drama.  Every other Thanksgiving continued that feeling, even if we weren't always with extended family.  Being back in Australia, our family still celebrates Thanksgiving with a special meal and simple pleasures.

As a mother, I feel a large responsibility to make special occasions, well...special.  Is that realistic?  When my older two were younger, I feel that I was much more creative, not just at holiday times, but all through the year.  Yeah, I'm kind of over that now and have been for a while.  It's okay, because that was what felt right at the time.  We've all changed.  Being creative was just one way of making the holidays special.  Food is another way and a nice way of connecting to the past through dishes that we only make for those occasions.  Fairy lights, holiday movies and decorating the home are other ways.

Every day feels special to me, some days I remember that more than others.  Sometimes it takes a day on the calendar such as today, to give me pause to remember.  Sometimes it takes hearing a song, seeing the sunrise, a look from a loved one.  And sometimes, it's just there, underlying every single thing that I do.

....two days later....

I've been pondering this a lot, and I think I've been looking at it all wrong!

I've been pondering a lot of things lately, well for a long time, but I keep circling back to one central theme.... Love.  And how to incorporate it into every single thing that I do.  I've accepted that it is my mission, my purpose is to Just Be Love.  I'm working on unraveling some old conditionings and looking at how I could act with Love ALL the time.  It's the 're-acting' that I'm finding to be an interesting trigger.

So I've decided to look at the holiday season from a place of Love.  Once I owned that, I felt a wonderful lightness take over.  I no longer feel responsible for creating a meaningful, magical Christmas for my children.  I know that as I do all that I do, with Love, then that ripples out and creates a calm and loving home.  With more fun and light.  When I feel Joy, it's much easier for the rest of the family to feel Joy as well.

As a family, we are talking about ways that we can give the Christmas season more meaning for us.  We are looking at ways that we can be of service to our wider community, not just by donating money, but doing things that involve our time, given with Love.  This is something that I would like to continue throughout the year, by regularly looking at new ways that we can do this.

I've designed a Love Meditation that I use every morning as I wake up, and every evening before I go to sleep.  Throughout the day, I use parts of it when I remember.  I'm creating new triggers that help me to return to living each moment with the essence of Love threaded throughout.

I'm no longer dreading going to the shops, or anything else that lies ahead in the coming month.  I'm absolutely looking forward to it all, and to creating beautiful new ways of Being throughout the holidays and other times.

... feeling so light and free in my heart...

In Joy!  xo

on the journey...

This came to me via Facebook.  Oh how I relate..  I've had a lot of friends come and go as our paths merge then diverge...and sometimes merge again.   I can't spend too much time looking back.

More and more, I feel a sense of urgency, of time running out.  I don't know if it's because I'm now 49 and I am aware that I could well be over the half-way mark of this time here.  I feel the need to do "something more".  Why?  Do I need to leave a mark?  No, I've done that with my children and the people I've touched.  Do I think I will be held accountable if I don't do "more" with my life?  Like I'll get to the Pearly Gates and get in trouble for fart-arsing around, not always taking this life seriously, for not being more 'normal'.

What is my "sacred purpose" if it is not to Be Love?  

...In whatever way that manifests in the moment?  

People may look at me strangely, and judge me behind my back.  That's their deal.  

Sometimes I can be with a group of people and not relate to any of their stories.  It can be like they are speaking a foreign language, but it's one that maybe I used to know.  I have at times felt alone when surrounded by other people.  But I am very comfortable being by myself.


..... I found the above post in my drafts from about six months ago and decided to go ahead and post it with just a little addition:

 I now do not feel the need to explain myself, which is something I used to do long ago.  I guess you could say that I am pretty comfortable with who I am, where I've been and where I'm going.  

I do not currently feel the sense of urgency, but I do work on ensuring that at most times, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.  I easily speak up and say what I need or want.  I have some really lovely friends.  The weather is warm and wonderful, I'm busy doing fun and interesting things...I guess you could say that I'm happily and deeply content.

Archery....

"ONE of the most significant features we notice in the practice of archery, and in fact of all the arts as they are studied in Japan and probably also in other Far Eastern countries, is that they are not intended for utilitarian purposes only or for purely aesthetic enjoyments, but are meant to train the mind; indeed, to bring it into contact with the ultimate reality.

Archery is, therefore, not practiced solely for hitting the target; the swordsman does not wield the sword just for the sake of outdoing his opponent; the dancer does not dance just to perform certain rhythmical movements of the body. The mind has first to be attuned to the Unconscious.

If one really wishes to be master of an art, technical knowledge of it is not enough. One has to transcend technique so that the art becomes an "artless art" growing out of the Unconscious.

In the case of archery, the hitter and the hit are no longer two opposing objects, but are one reality. The archer ceases to be conscious of himself as the one who is engaged in hitting the bull's-eye which confronts him.

This state of unconsciousness is realized only when, completely empty and rid of the self, he becomes one with the perfecting of his technical skill, though there is in it something of a quite different order which cannot be attained by any progressive study of the art."

~D.T. Suzuki~
Introduction "Zen and the Art of Archery"

Spring is here!!!!

I woke up at 4am today, the first official day of Spring.  So excited for Spring!  Really!  The weather has been spring-like lately, and Nicholas and I have been swimming in the pool.  We've been spring-cleaning and de-cluttering and the house is feeling light and the energy is flowing and feeling positive.

I love Spring (couldn't you tell?!).  I love the warmth, the colours, wearing light clothes, the sun shining on my skin, the flowers blooming, more tropical fruits coming in to season, lazy days at the beach, longer daylight hours...ahhhhhhhhh...

I felt like a kid at Christmas when I woke up today!  I lay in bed meditating for a while and sending love to some people.  After I got up and dressed, Nicholas and I went for a bike ride along the creek.  Home for breakfast of a delicious green smoothie...water, dates, bananas, baby spinach, kale, parsley, and vanilla stevia drops.  I've been enjoying green smoothies almost daily for at least 10 years and I always look forward to that part of my day.

We had to go out to an appointment but we left an hour early so I suggested we stop at the beach for a while....

...we ran and splashed and played, and watched the whales play out at sea...

Oh yeah!  Spring is here and I am so ready!  

Vlog...Being a Free Spirit...

I've been having fun teaching myself how to use iMovie on my Mac.  Time to take my blog to a new level and stretch my comfort zone.

change...

Do you ever get the feeling that things are about to be shaken up?  That change is close...and big or important change at that?   I feel it so close that I can taste it.  It creeps under my pillow at night and dances in my head.  Something is close.  Will I be ready?  Have I done enough?

25 August 2014

Hello again!!  Where does the time fly to?!   We've been keeping busy as usual, here's a little of the latest:

Sami got her braces taken off and looks gorgeous!

Nicholas and I walked over to where a big triathlon was taking place close to where we live.  We cheered on the last few swimmers as they got out of the water and made their way over to the bikes for the next leg.  We watched hundreds of competitors transition from the bike leg to the running section.  We were fascinated by the speed with which some of them adjusted their attire for running.  There wasn't a lot to be done, but some of them had shoes that could just be slipped on and tightened with a toggle while others had to do up shoelaces which slowed them down.  We hung around to watch the first dozen or so people cross the finishing line.  The guy in the picture below was the winner, and oh my golly...what a machine!  He just trotted over the finishing line, went over and picked up his young son and started chatting to people as if it was no big deal.  Two and a half hours of pushing his body to the max and that's how he steps over the line... Not even puffing.  Wow.   I wonder what it feels like to be that super-fit?!  

We joined a community garden!  We have our own allotment.  When we took it over, it was covered with nasturtiums, aloe vera, and grass.  Though I did find a few herbs under all of that.  I pulled out all that I didn't want, hoed, added extra soil and compost to get to the picture on the left.  Then I added some seedlings, and the photo on the right was taken today, several weeks later and after several days of lovely rain.  I've tried container gardening here at our townhouse, but I can't quite get it right.  One of the benefits of the community garden is that there are plenty of experienced gardeners around to guide us.

We've been to visit a big aquaponics farm which was really interesting.  Aquaponics is something that Cary has been interested in for a long time.  Our community garden is starting an aquaponics area though it is moving rather slowly as the local council got involved!

Sami has been enjoying doing weekly drama classes for homeschoolers.  She's starting to look at options for her future.  AJ has been busy growing like crazy!  He is just a smudge shorter than Cary, but it won't be long until AJ is taller.  AJ has been spending a lot of time exploring game technology and loves it.   Nicholas is still a vibrant little man and he likes to join me on my morning walk as he rides his scooter and chitter chats away while I keep a fast pace on foot.  I'm nowhere near ready for a triathlon though.  That's not on my bucket list anyway.   

The other thing is that I've been playing with iMovie on my Mac and having fun making movies!  I've finally decided to do a little vlogging...and it's a little, well, out of my comfort zone.  Starting this blog years ago was a bit of a leap after years of keeping my thoughts confined to my private journals. I admit to being rather critical of my writing and I have a whole bunch of posts that I have never made public.  So now I'm taking it to a new level and I am enjoying teaching myself how to use the movie making software.  

I just noticed what today's date is.  Twenty years ago today,  I accidentally went Vegan and have been that way for most of the past 20 years.  I'll have to make a little Vlog about it.  My health has definitely been better for it!

photos...

Cary brought back seven bows from the USA on his last trip.  Six of them are shown in this pic plus one that I had bought already.  One of the bows that he bought is a left handed one and he is going to sell it and we'll put that money into better arrows.  He got absolutely incredible deals at auctions over there.   Sami likes the compound bow style and Cary found the pink one for her.  Another is a perfect size for Nicholas.  I've picked a new favourite as has Cary, and AJ is still playing with them all but we think he's going to go with the very traditional Robin Hood style longbow.  It's a bit heavy for him  - as in the draw weight, not the actual bow.  So he's doing lots of push ups and trying to build his strength.

Family selfie!

Having fun at Movie World's Carnivale:   

It was fun to go on the rides at night time.  There were some different, southern style food stands around the place and the combination of it all....our family in the USA will understand this...I looked at Cary and said "smell that?"  he nodded and we both said "Ocean City!"  Oh my...it smelled just like it!  (Ocean City is a tourist beach destination in Maryland, USA)

Oh yeah, let's take another selfie!

I've probably posted a similar pic before, but we get some amazing sunsets over our front yard:

Surreal...

...surreal is the state that I have felt after coming out of the movies in the middle of the day, or going out for the first time with my baby after recently giving birth...everything is still functioning...time didn't stand still for everyone, just me, in that moment.

And so again, as I attempt to get back to my "normal" life after receiving the phone call..."come now, your Grandmother is dying".  Ten days later, 1500km, broken sleep, ...surreal...

My 98-year old role model.  Such a strong, determined and independent woman!  She was never afraid to speak her mind or demand perfection.  She travelled the world, sang, acted, played sports, chaired committees, coordinated social events as the Mayoress of North Sydney and Newtown and entertained the Prime Minister.  She taught me how to crotchet and body surf and how to play different card games - skills that I have passed on to my own children, and that have entertained me for many hours over the years.

We often holidayed at her home in Port Macquarie, she took us to all of the local attractions, picnics, scenic drives all around the area, fireworks and parades.  Her crafting skills were incredible.  She made most of the clothes for her five children when they were young, as well as many items of clothing for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She loved to garden, and knew the name of almost all plants.  When I was about 12, she gave me a little silver heart pendant on a chain.  I have worn that more than any other item of jewellery.  I've replaced the chain several times, but the solid little pendant shows no sign of it's age.  I recall that the heart had belonged to another female family member as she told me the story at the time she gave it to me.  I forgot, and asked her years later, but by then, she had also forgotten.

She was a powerful matriarch, the oldest of 11 children, with only one sibling remaining alive.  Her mother, Anne, who I am named for, had picked up and left England when she was 17.  Set sail for a far-away land and adventure (yep, I come by it honestly!).  Grans father had been born on a boat from England as it sailed into the heads of Sydney.

My Gran was still feisty up until a few days before she passed when she had a fall.  She has been an inspirational role model.  As a child, I was sometimes a little scared of her, but as I grew into my own power, I appreciated her strength, and as I watched her operate, I was filled with respect and love for this amazing woman.

Gran, I am so glad that I had a turn to hold your hand and stroke your hair as the family sat around your bed telling stories.  I am so grateful for the many hours of care that my Mum has given you, as her stories of all of the big and little moments, keep you alive in our hearts.  I am so grateful that you had my Mum, as her own way of loving us has always made me feel important and loved.

Go in Peace and Joy my Gran...love and gratitude xoxo
...

My children spent time with their Great-Gran in those final hours, and again with her body when we all spent time saying a final goodbye.  I did not instruct them on how to behave, but I just expected that they would be true to whatever was right for them.  Their deep respect for the process and for the other family members present, was sincere and filled with love.  I am so grateful to have these amazing people in my life!

Road trip...

The kids and I have just returned from a short road trip.  Preparing for the trip was pretty stress-free, despite it being right after celebrating AJ's 13th birthday.  Yes, we now have two teenagers!  Yay!!

I had a small bag for each of us to pack a few clothes in and said that it would either be enough, or if we needed any warmer clothes, we could go to the local op shop where we were staying.

The first five minutes of a road trip is where my brain is going through a mental check list to remind myself that yes, I did lock all of the doors and turn off all of the electrical appliances except the refrigerators, and that sort of thing.  As soon as I hit the highway, I detach from all of that and let the adventure take over!

This time, we got away a little later than I'd hoped, but I refused to stress about it.  We stopped off at an electrical shop to buy a portable DVD player.  It had been years since we've travelled with one of those.  Often we listen to audio books, or play games, or listen to music or just chat.  The last time I travelled with the children, Nicholas' anxiety was super high and the first half of the trip was awful for him.  I thought the DVD player might help to distract him.  Worked like a charm this time!

We were only away for 6 days, but it seems like longer.  We had such a great time with my family, it was sad to part.  We didn't do anything super fancy, just hung out, shared meals, went for walks, played games, and goofed around.  I hadn't seen my sister for two years!  Far too long.  The last time my brother, sister and I were all together was for our Dad's funeral.  So it was really good to get together for some fun times.

 ..and fly some kites...

...hunt for Geocaches with cousins...

...making sure we obey the rules!

...part of the view from my sister and brother-in-law's beach house "the sandcastle"...

magical!

Coming back to our house was kind of sad.  I already missed my family, and I felt no attachment to our house or anything in it.  I was ready for more adventures and connection.  However, Sam was looking forward to seeing her friends, AJ was looking forward to unlimited internet and Nicholas was looking forward to getting back to his home base.  I need to make sure that it's not so long in between visits with family.   Time is precious!

walking...

Walking is really my favourite form of exercise.  I love that I don't need any kind of equipment, just a little motivation.  I love that, even though I might walk fast, it's still slow enough to see so much beauty along the way, like these: 

I love trees, one of my favourites are the gum trees.  I found this one at the top of a hill, with the beach to the left, and the airport to the right.  Despite the airplanes going over my head, the air smelled pretty good there.

This just looked like a bit of Mother Nature's art..

Forgotten toys, left on the beach.  It had me thinking about my children and their childhoods being left behind...

I find trees fascinating.  I love the way that they weave together, different trees, sometimes living in harmony, sometimes slowly strangling each other, but each magnificent in their own way.

I found this gem that someone had painted on the path alongside the beach.  Great reminder of the nature of us.

So as I walk along, enjoying the scenery, my mind wanders and creates a tapestry of words and feelings that I wish I could capture more eloquently.  I wish I could sculpt them into something, but then that would just limit them into form.  

Coming down the hill to walk along the beach again, I smell fresh coffee mixed with the salt air and I feel so grateful to live here.  People of all shapes and sizes and ages walk barefoot, often with a surfboard under their arm.  No rushing, no crowds, no drama.  There is an energy here that transcends the physical.  Where I don't have to look or act any way except my own way.  Where I don't feel judged.  Where I feel...free!