Since I last wrote about relationships, I've been exploring that topic more deeply. I've been thinking of the idea of freedom within a relationship...not necessarily to be with other people romantically, but to be freely, deeply with myself...and to make no excuses for that. To Love myself unconditionally, and to accept myself wholly.
Think about it.. It takes awareness to maintain your connection to yourself. It is easy to lose that during the busy-ness of daily life, in all of the other relationships we have - with our partners, our children, our coworkers, etc. With the constant bombardment from the media as well, soon it can feel as though the life you are living is just on the surface. It is so easy to forget to tune in to our true selves. To say what you really mean, instead of what you think someone else wants to hear.
I'm talking about taking responsibility for YOU - for your feelings and your interpretation of experiences. Not saying things like "my wife (husband) makes me feel unloved / unattractive / etc", because NO one can make you feel anything, only you can choose to feel those things. Often those are things that you already feel about yourself that you are just projecting onto that other person in order to avoid taking responsibility for yourself.
So the first thing is to be aware - of the outside influences that distract your connection to yourself. Of all of the little voices saying that you "should" do or say something. Of all of the times when you do something out of conditioning rather than an actual need or desire. Be aware and recognise when you are not really present with your feelings, with the moment.
Then take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Allow others to Be however they choose to be. Stay strong in your inner connection, knowing that you are the only one who can make you feel good or not-good.
Doing this, you can be with anyone, anywhere, and you can feel the freedom to just BE.