The Freedom of Timelessness...

 

I lay in bed, not feeling great.  The first head cold that I’ve had in years.  My body begging to just. Stay. Still.  My mind circling around my ‘to do’ list.  Such a habit to get up and get moving through the routine and rituals of the day.

There was a little thought....what if...we just stayed here?  

What if...we let the wisdom of the body rule, just this once?  

What if...we truly felt this moment all the way through, until the body was ready to rise?

It was tempting, enticing, a little scary.  

And I didn’t believe that it was possible.

I didn’t believe that I would be able to fully relax as there would be a hesitation...surely someone will come knocking on my door, wanting something.

I got up and got on with the day.

But that thought stayed with me, the longing of the body to just be still and quiet until it was ready to move.  Would some wisdom come to me during this time, maybe I was afraid of that?  Would I feel lazy for allowing myself that time?  

My body is aching for some deep rest.  It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.  I am not expecting any great insights.  I just need to let it Be.

I cannot remember the last time that I allowed myself to experience a moment in its natural entirety, without having a doorstop on it.

Without thinking that I need to watch the clock, knowing that someone would be needing something from me.  Without thinking that I “should” be heading home as the family might be wondering if I am okay.  Without the expectation that someone will interrupt me as that has been the pattern for so so long.  (Yes, I set it up like that. Yes, I put being a mother before my own needs.  And Yes, I would do it the same way all over again.  After 23 years as a full time mom, I’m just a bit tired.  Not complaining at all, just recognising that I need to honour my own needs.)

I was recently asked “what is your strongest memory in this lifetime?”.  

My mind immediately went to a beach that I used to go to by myself, when I was in my late teens and had my driver’s licence.  It was a very quiet, often deserted, beautiful beach on a horseshoe bay.  

I would feel totally comfortable, at peace, at One with nature and Spirit.  

I would go there and stay all day, or a few hours.  But it was always just until I had my fill and felt it was right to move on.

There I was, on the cusp of adulthood, able to just Be right there.

Is that the magic of childhood?  Being able to live in that feeling of timelessness?  I’m talking about before school days, and after starting school, on school holiday times.  Back when we could get lost in our imaginations and sense of wonder.  Before all of the responsibilities and requirements that being an adult brings with it.

How to recapture that?

Being aware of the need for that.  The Soul’s yearning for that quiet, uninterrupted time to just Be.  

Then simply allowing ourselves that freedom.  Telling our families, friends, whoever, that we simply will not be available for the next few hours / day / week.

I can do that...and I will!  I can feel that Freedom already, just in giving myself ‘permission’.  Oh we are funny creatures!