Facing Reality...

 I actually wrote this on 19 May 2021..

My bathroom mirror lied to me...through its dim light and shadow, I thought that I wore a younger face.

What a shock!  Who’s that old woman?  Repelled by the image, I looked away and it was some time before I went to the window of truth to see the real reflection.  

What...what happened to my youth?  I sat with that feeling.  I accept the fact that I am 56.  I found it hard to accept looking like I was close to 60 years old.  (According to who??)

In this culture that glorifies the young and beautiful, I no longer saw myself as beautiful.  I actually don’t know that I ever really thought of myself as ‘beautiful’, but rather an acceptable average-looking person, and I was okay with that.  But I no longer saw even that.

I started thinking about places that I have been, adventures that I’ve had.  All of the times when I let my heart lead and some of the people that I met along the way.  Times when I stood up for myself, when I felt the fear but did it anyway.  

I’ve known a lot of love, and lust, and frustration, and anger, and resentment, and joy, and beauty, and adventure, and wonder.  I started feeling the amazing life that I have had.

My face, my companion through it all.  I smiled.  I’ve earned these story lines on my face.

I embraced the Triple Goddess in me.  I acknowledge my inner child and maiden, I embrace them and thank them for their gifts and lessons.  I acknowledge the mother phase in me.  Physically that phase is over and it was the greatest phase of all.  Although I can no longer give birth, I will always be a mother and that is my deepest honour.  I embrace all of the gifts and lessons that I have received in this role and I am so very grateful.

To the Crone that I am learning to be.  I can feel in me the Grandmother that I always wanted, but did not have.  Nurturing, fun, interested, kind, and so loving.  I embrace you and I take your hand.  Let’s walk this next bit together.  I am ready.