April pix

AJ recently turned 7! How did that happen? He had a fun day with lots of fun with friends around him all day.

Cary left for the USA the day after AJ's birthday. Dear Nicholas cried for about an hour after we dropped him off at the airport, he misses him so much. He still can't talk to him on the phone as he gets too upset.

We had some friends come and camp next to us for 5 days. Unfortunately, it rained most of their visit. They really wanted to go to Sea World so we went too. I have a big problem with live animal shows, but thought I'd go and see how my kids reacted to large animals in relatively small enclosures. Our friends really wanted to see the dolphin show and we went to that. After that I could not go to any more animal shows. I kept thinking of the dolphins I've seen in the wild and how they have the entire ocean to swim in - they remind me of my unschooled children, free and yes, a little wild. The dolphins in the show were like the straight-A students at school who knew very well when to jump through the hoops or dive or perform some trick. Their performance was appreciated by most of the audience, but I kept wondering if the dolphins were happy. Some of them had been bred in captivity and some had been rescued. Did those born there feel the pull for a different kind of life, a longing for something but just not sure what? Or did they just dutifully do what they were taught because that's all they knew? See, it reminds me more and more of people and school. I know when I was at school, I felt the longing for something else which I later realised was freedom.
Anyway, we did go to the waterski show which was very good. And as the weather was kind of rainy, there were not too many people there so the kids go to go on all of the rides over and over. Some of the rides they just stayed on, without getting off and needing to line up again, others they did line up again, but the wait was very short. Summer really surprised me by going on the flume ride, which goes up a steep hill, around a bit and then down a steep waterslide, about 5 times and then going on the Pirate ship twice - and sitting way up the back too!

Two of our friends and Summer on the right, on the pirate ship.


Before Cary left, he bought this old Land Cruiser. The kids (ours and others from the park) think it's a great place to play!


AJ riding a friends chopper bike with his daredevil side-kick, Nicholas. Several days ago, our little guy said "I'm Nitolas...no more Noo Noo". And he has been very clear ever since that he wants to be called Nicholas instead of the nick-name he'd been happy to use before then.

kids pix

AJ's birthday morning, with a little help from Summer reading the cards and Nicholas helping with the unwrapping. They are sitting on AJ's bed, which becomes the dining table and seating during the day. Summer's queen bed is behind them.


Photo of N at sea world Sesame Street performance. He's not very familiar with SS as he doesn't watch much tv so he was trying to figure out what on earth the colourful crazy critters were all about.


AJ bobbing for apples - something some other travelling homeschooled kids in the park wanted to do one day.


AJ and friends

camper

This is kind of a rear side view of our set up. I've been meaning to post these photos here for a while. Then we had a bunch of rain and I changed things and have kept changing things and they are much better now. The actual caravan / trailer is much roomier inside than it looks. The gazebo folds into a wheeled carry case smaller than a set of golf clubs. The white walls are a thin, but very effective (in keeping out rain and wind) material. We have walls all the way around and they have zippers in the center of each side. We only use one side as a door way, the side that joins the awning area. Because of all the rain we were having, Cary put up a tarp on one side of the awning and was going to put up a huge tarp over the top of the awning and out the front a fair way so that we could still look out, but the rain would not come in. However, constant rain and winds before he left prevented him from doing that. I have since put up a temporary wall angled out the front of the awning using an old tarp. I used spring loaded clamps to connect it to the edge of the awning and hammered some tent pegs through the holes along the edge into the ground. I thought that way I can just unclamp the clamps when it was nice weather (which is has been for the past 9 days in a row!!) and roll the tarp down and still be able to look out. But I actually haven't done that as there were a lot of people in the park due to school holidays and I liked having a bit more privacy as there were vans and tents blocking our view of the water anyway.

This past weekend was the Anzac Day long weekend and I have never seen the park so full. Only a few spots were vacant and they were probably from people who booked ages ago but couldn't make it at the last minute. There were no big motorhomes or 5th wheels (not that we get many of them anyway). There were a ton of tents, trailer tents (that pull out of a box trailer to provide hard floors above ground level and pull-out kitchens - very clever and many different styles), pop-ups like ours and regular caravan/travel trailers.





Summer rides a bike!!


At sea world. AJ on the left and Summer 2nd from the right.

life flows on..

Time has been rolling blissfully by. Even the rain (yes, more and more rain), and the wind do not bother me like they once did. I feel warm from the inside out. I have not been using the computer much at all which has been kind of nice. We've had some running around to do (although these days I do less running and more strolling at a leisurely pace) and our place seems to be a central hangout for a lot of the kids in the park which is a lot of fun.

With the fall here, my seasonal inner need to bake was singing out so I bought a little counter top oven which was immediately christened with two loaves of pumpkin-orange bread, much to my families delight. I'm not much of a cook and I prefer simple, mostly fresh foods. I don't like cooking dinner, but I do like to bake breads, and sometimes cookies. I only have that urge when the weather is cool.

Yesterday we got Nicholas a little bike from an op shop. He's very proud of his red bike and looking forward to riding with his siblings and friends.

We've experienced lovely connections with various people and families staying in the park recently. There's been a mixture of families here on school holidays and others here for a spiritual retreat at a large center across the road. Such and interesting mix of people that we all get to enjoy.

It's AJ's birthday tomorrow and Cary leaves for the US the day after that. I'm going to go and get the baking pans out!

namaste

a simple life

I have been on the journey towards living more simply for years now. It's taken small steps forwards, backwards, around in circles...kind of like a dance.

Being here now, after doing the mental and physical work it's taken to get this far, I have found that it has become a very real and deep part of Who I Am.

The recent events with my Mum did not get under my skin like it would have in the past. I was able to deal with it and move on very quickly. I have no need or room for excess emotional baggage.

I'm sleeping more deeply and feel an inner peace that gives me a constant underlying feeling of calm, more often than not...it used to be the other way around. It is something that I have been searching for for many years.

Sami (who now wishes to be called Summer), is/was still able to push my buttons. I was aware of it happening and made a decision that I did not want that to happen any more. It was not how I want our relationship to be. She had been spending a lot of time with a new friend but was a bit frustrated by the way the other friend tried to control Summer so she would come home and take her frustration out on me rather than alienate her new friend. I changed the way I reacted and stopped reflecting her frustration (my previous pattern) and gave her the love and safe space to vent she was really looking for.

Touching on the subject of names, I never really felt that Samantha suited our girl but liked Sami and she grew into both of those names. Summer was a name that I had considered while I was pregnant but then wasn't sure about naming a child after a season (even if it is my favourite season...I thought "what if she doesn't like summer, but is more an autumn or winter girl?") Anyway, there were other names I liked, but Cary did not. We did want a nice girls name that could be shortened to a tom-boy name and that's when we compromised on Samantha. Our girl has been saying for years that she didn't like those names or the name Anya which is what AJ called her from the time he first started to talk and which became a family name for her. A few days ago, she announced she wanted to be called Summer Jasmine Rain. She said that the name Summer just felt right and seemed to fit better. It certainly does suit her.

I have no problem with her changing her name if she wants. I think it's a valuable thing to do as we are constantly re-creating our selves and our identity as we move around the cosmic spiral coming in to Being Who We Really Are. A name is an outward expression of that and if she feels more free and in touch with that, I fully support her and anyone else who wishes to do that. Personally, I would change my name to River - sometimes deep and quiet, sometimes bubbly and fast, but always moving towards the goal of rejoining the Source (ocean/God).

I'm in such a great place right now on all levels. Very happy..

Enjoying life

Thanks to friends for the comments on my previous post. To the friends that emailed me, I will get back to you - I have not been online much at all, but will catch up soon. I've actually been enjoying just BE-ing. Taking time to enjoy our water view, to listen to the wind through the trees, to be in the moment as much as I can remember.

I'm reading 'Conversations With God book 3' at the moment. Enjoying it slowly and letting it absorb as I go. A couple of nights ago I was wide awake in the middle of the night. I got the book and went outside and sat under the stars to read with my little headlamp on. I'd read a bit then spend time enjoying the magnificent sky. It was a brilliant setting to enjoy such a book. Really easy to Be in the concept that we really are All One.

Big news - the day after my birthday, Sami started riding her bike! She'd been on and off it a few times but hadn't really wanted to ride it strongly enough. I guess she got to a point where she wanted it so much that she was able to get over her fears and focus on the goal. Having her own bike, getting a new larger seat and a bell for it and seeing AJ having so much fun on his bike all contributed to her desire, but ultimately, she had to overcome the 'stuff' going on in her head that was stopping her. Cary held the seat while she got used to the balance and pedaling, walked around the block with her two or three times and then she was off! She now jumps out of bed in the morning and jumps on her bike. She is so excited about riding! It has increased her confidence in herself and she is more comfortable socially. She's mixing with the other kids here a lot easier, and will even go up to new people to chat to them. It is such a change from the Sami of a week ago. She puts so much pressure on herself that she talks herself out of something before ever really trying. Or she used to do that. This has been interesting for us to see how learning happens with her. She often says things like "I'm stupid". Boy, does that bother me! Being such an optimist and after years of positive affirmations etc, I don't know where she comes up with this. I used to say something like "no you're not...you're very smart, loving, etc". That just didn't work so then I started saying "well, if that's what you think, then that's what you'll get. If you want to think that you can do this, then you'll be right about that too. It's totally your choice." She used to get annoyed at me for saying this, but I'm pretty sure she's given it some serious thought.

What else has happened this week?...After deciding against getting a house, we drove past a place with a "for rent" sign out the front that Cary wanted to look at. We called the owners and they came over. They were coming over anyway for an open house for it. Everything seemed to be falling in line. It was a nice enough place with a lot of room for Cary to store cars etc he'd have for sale. Cary seemed excited about that and I thought "if we get approved, then it must be meant to be". That night, the owners called and said that out of all of the applicants (rentals are very competitive here at the moment), they'd like to offer the place to us. I was not excited at all. So much for being "meant to be" - it just wasn't feeling right. After sleeping on it, thinking of all angles, Cary and I chatted about it the next day and decided to turn it down. I can't give up this lifestyle, I just love this freedom and outdoor living!

So we've been back and forth to the camping store looking at different options to make the outside a bit more protected but still open. We've put up a tarp on one end of the awning, angled down to the ground and at the other end, we put up one of those easy set-up gazebos with 'solid' walls on it. The walls are made of a very lightweight material but they give excellent protection from the wind and rain. In there we have our little fridge, the front-loading washing machine that I picked up from a yard sale for $40 (one load of washing at the laundry here costs $4 so it won't take long to be in front), the breadmaker sits on top of the washing machine, we also have two folding 4 shelf cupboards - one for clothes and the other is a pantry, and two plastic 5 drawer units, one for towels and one for craft supplies and games. The gazebo is 3m x 3m and we also have room for a few camp chairs in there (if it's too windy or wet to be outside) and a couple of other plastic storage boxes.

In trying to live more consciously, I do consider the type of material that our purchases are made from. If I buy something new, firstly I think "do I really need this?", then I think about what will happen to it when we've finished with it - can it be recycled? Living this lifestyle, I also need to consider weight for when we are traveling and the weather in case things get wet. The other factor is space so things that fold or stack are great. I'm happy with the way things are coming together and the choices we're making.

In the area outside of our camper, under the awning, we have our long folding table and bench seat as well as a folding 'camp kitchen' shelf which has a little 2 shelf zippered cupboard on one side under a flat top and an open shelf on the other side under another flat surface that our two burner stove sits on. Our plates, cups, mixing bowls and saucepans live in that. On the long table, we have a toaster, kettle, toaster oven, water jug and a little two drawer plastic unit for cutlery, wooden spoons, scissors, and all those other little kitchen bits and pieces.

I have remembered to charge the batteries on my digital camera so I will get some pics later today and post them soon.

Have a great day everyone!

43 and time for ME to just BE

Once again, with more bloody rain, our recent thoughts about getting a house seemed like a great idea. The packing and unpacking on our recent trip was a bother too and we were a bit fed up and emotional after the past weekend.

Once again, when we calmed down, and the rain stopped for 30 minutes, we remembered how much we enjoy this lifestyle. Before our trip, we had been using the annexe from the old camper for this one. But we are going to sell the old one so we need to rig up some walls to attach onto the awning, or somehow fix things so we have more space and protection from the elements.

Now that we are back here, for around 3 months (more or less, we'll see how it goes), we will get a nice set up and work on getting a comfortable rhythm going with homeschooling friends and fun classes for the kids.

Glad that decision is made. Today (the 28th) is my 43rd birthday. Happy birthday to me!! My motto for the coming year is in the title of this blog. I will be taking more time for me. When I saw my sister last weekend, she handed down her old bike to me plus two other bikes for Sami and AJ. AJ is thrilled and has been having a great time with his bike. I've been enjoying riding my bike too. I feel like a kid again as distant memories of a carefree me riding way beyond the boundaries set by my Mum, come back as soon as my feet touch the pedals. I guess I'm still pushing my Mum's boundaries which is why she has trouble accepting my lifestyle.

So I have made a decision to Just Be - more present, more connected, more awake and aware, more loving, more joy-full, more...well, more ME.

...I didn't get to finish this post earlier. I was in a grateful mood, just enjoying our day and not doing much. Cary came home and said he had arranged something and we needed to leave about 30 minutes later. He kept the surprise until he took me to a lovely place called 'The Sanctuary' which has a bunch of alternative / natural healers & bodyworkers that work there. They have a natural dentist, chiropractor, natural hair dresser, and offer other natural health and beauty services. I had a one hour massage with a Tradional Chinese Medicine guy followed by a one hour facial. Cary and the kids picked me up and we went home where Nicholas and I had a two hour nap. I had a bunch of phone calls during the day and capped it all off with a delicious dinner at a funky vegetarian restaurant. What a great day.

quick update

10 days ago we packed up our nice little camp on the Gold Coast. We took a 4 hour drive south, set up camp again for 3 nights. We caught up with some friends, sorted through our storage unit, and called in at the steiner/waldorf school that Sami and AJ used to go to. Sami had left her recorder there so we had to go back. We happened to go there when they were having their autumn festival / harmony day celebration. The festival was lovely and it was nice to see some familiar faces and friends, but it was also nice to leave.

After a busy time there, we drove 3 hours south to my Mums place, in our camper, for 3 nights. My brother and his fiance and my sister and her whole family arrived later that day. We were hoping for a fun Easter weekend together. It was nice to see everyone else but unfortunately, my mother was stressed from the moment we arrived, building the tension to a peak the night before we left, directing her frustrations at me - saying that my diet and children are all too difficult and that she cannot "come down" to the level of how we live. Nice. So here's my diet: fruit for breakfast, salad and tortilla or bread for lunch, salad and veges with potato or rice for dinner. Snacks are usually nuts or a smoothie or hummus and seaweed crackers. I don't vary much from that except for a vege burger or maybe pizza every now and again. Very difficult. My children are young and spirited.
I'm not going to go into any more detail. It's just sad that she feels this way. We will not be going back there.

We packed up and left as early as we could and drove 3 hours north to the camp site we'd been at before. Set up again, caught up with friends and crashed out, emotionally drained. We were going to leave the next morning but decided a day to just 'chill' was in order so, after a little trip to storage and the shops , we did just that. Kind of necessary anyway as Nicholas came down with a fever for about 12 hours.

The next day, we packed up again, drove 4 hours north back to the spot where we'd been 10 days ago. Shortly after setting up, a massive storm hit with sideways rain and strong winds.

We have come to the conclusion that we just cannot keep doing this, this way. For a more comfortable life "on the road", we need a much bigger rig. We are going to look for a little house to at least get us through the winter and just see what happens after that.
I had surrendered into this lifestyle, I accepted all of the little inconveniences and worked around them, no longer getting impatient and frustrated. Lesson learned. Time to move on.

AJ the amazing pineapple

I forgot to post this pic from a couple of months ago when we went to the science center. A little trick photography.

Photos!

This is Wellington Point, a lovely spot near Brisbane where we recently met some unschooling friends. This is low tide and we walked out to the little island just before the tide came in. It was a lovely day.


friend: "what's your name?"
the little boy above answered "noo noo"
friend: "how old are you?"
boy: "two and a huff"


We met the Brisbane unschooling group at a great park in Ipswitch. AJ loved the long flying fox...


and riding scooters with noo noo.

more photos

Noo Noo ran to meet Cary as he came back from a walk on the beach with Sami. Love the colour of the water and sand!


We found a fabulous park near us that has this pedal-powered monorail around it. That's me on the back of the blue one with Sami and AJ trying to ram me. Nice!



And now he can ride a two wheeler! This photo is taken from the front of our place. You can see the water in the background. It only takes a minute to walk there.

even more photos

Mr two and a huff....such a cheeky monkey!


Let's go fly a kite!


Our new camper / home. I think we measured it at 22' opened up. That's a king size bed on the left. It's so easy to fold up and sweet to tow.


My new ride! Ms Mercedes Benz thank you very much.
Behind her you'll see that we have the brown annexe from the old camper attached to the new one. The new one came with a fold out awning and we are going to have 3 sides made for it so we can use it as a room and get some protection from the elements. We use that room a lot for food prep and cooking, eating and storage of food and clothes.

Last week

Another busy week. We spent more time exploring this new area. We got our library cards and spent some time enjoying the new library. This one has a playstation, computers in the kids section complete with internet access and large-button keyboards, lots of DVD's - and books! - to choose from, self check out, friendly staff and a nice feel.

In other news:
* We looked at some possible houses to rent. I actually spent a lot of time on this - online, looking at newspapers and flyers from real estate agents, the street directory and driving around. I was starting to get annoyed about the whole process. It wasn't feeling 'right'. Of course I received another great quote from Abraham:

When you feel enthusiasm to do something, it means you've lined up the Energy, and you are being inspired to take action from that point of alignment. When you don't feel like doing it, don't push yourself, because your effort is not worth it. But, when you line up the Energy, the feeling of procrastination goes away.
Excerpted from a workshop in San Rafael, CA on Sunday, July 31st, 2005 All Is Well

I felt like I was spending too much time "do-ing" and not enough time "be-ing". I love this exact area. I realised I do not want to move to a house - yet. I'm enjoying our new camper, this park with tons of kids - even homeschooled and traveling kids!, being right on the water and minutes away from a national park with fabulous trails just right for the kids. I had no enthusiasm for looking for a house so I let it go. We did find one place, right on the water and already furnished that we like. The agents have not returned any of our calls on it though. So I'm not looking anymore. If they call us on that one place, we'll see what happens. Right now, I'm enjoying the moments right here, right now. The freedom that comes with this life is not something I'm going to give up lightly.

* AJ was out playing with some friends who were riding their bikes around. AJ has never shown interest in riding a bike. He's been riding a razor scooter since he was 2 or 3 and seemed happy with that. But a few days ago, Cary noticed him watching his friends closely on their bikes. Cary casually suggested to one of them "why don't you teach AJ how to ride that?". Several friends got involved in the initial stages of instruction then just left him alone. Within 20 minutes, AJ was riding around the block confidently, like he'd been doing it for years.

* Nicholas seemed to grow about 2 inches this past week. His legs look longer and his PJ pants have gotten a lot shorter. He sometimes says "look at my long legs!". He is so outgoing. He often gets up in the morning and announces that he's going out to look for his friends. Quite sure of himself in all matters, he has an opinion on everything and freely expresses it. Usually at top volume too!

* Sami returned from the bathroom one day happily telling me that she had made a new friend. It turns out that her new friend is a grandmother from New Zealand. Got to love homeschooling and the fact that she is not limited to the mindset of only having friends her own age.

* Cary went to some car auctions in Brisbane with a new car dealer friend he has made here. It felt good to him to kind of get back into things and is absorbing a lot of new information on rules and regs here. A little frustrating at times for him, but he's loving the area and I'm sure it won't be long before he has it all figured out. An exciting part about this is the new (second-hand) Mercedes station wagon he brought home on Friday as an early birthday present for me. It's beautiful - white, with a grey interior, CD player and 7 seats. In excellent condition too. I'm a lucky gal!

* I've felt a bit down at times this past week. There are some changes I need to make in how I take care of myself and how I listen to my body and spirit. I need to remember to take time for me and just BE. At one low point, I thought about deleting this blog and removing myself from a whole bunch of email groups. But I didn't get a chance to get online, and I got over myself pretty quickly. I don't know why I can't remember all of the great lessons I've learned recently in books like Conversations with God and Abraham books. If I'm not currently reading something like that, I tend to slip into old patterns too easily. Perhaps it's the recently move and trying to get settled here. ....You know what? I cannot blame any external factor - it's me. I am the one who sabotages myself. Why? Just when I think I'm going along so well, here comes the old me, not willing to be forgotten. Looking back, I have changed a lot - in a positive way. My periods of negativity are a lot less and last shorter periods of time. I'm getting to where I feel calm contentment most of the time. And maybe those periods of dark just serve to remind me of how great the light is.

I'm not going to delete this blog. It's therapy for me. Writing has always helped me figure things out. I don't care if I'm not the most eloquent or even if no one reads this. Funny thing is, just when I think this blog is boring or too whiny, a friend emails me to say they've been reading it. I treasure all of those gold friends who, despite time, distance and changes in circumstances, still keep in touch. Thanks and love to you.

* One afternoon this past week, we went for a stroll along the creek to the breakwall where the creek meets the sea. On the opposite shore of the creek, at the base of a bushy-rainforest hill that is a National Park, there was a young man playing his trumpet. Deep, soulful melodies that fitted the sunset mood of the place perfectly. An unexpected gift to a beautiful moment.

* AJ is so excited about his birthday and talks about it every single day. We still have 38 days to go. Looks like he might be getting a new bike for his birthday!

* One day when we went swimming in the enclosure at the creek, I paddled on boogy boards with Sami out to the deepest edge. She had been wanting to go out that far, but was a bit nervous. After going there one time with me, she later happily went out there by herself telling me that she had told herself "I am confident....I can do this". That's a big step for her and I'm glad that she figured this out.

And that's about it for the main highlights of the week, in words. I will now attempt to post some photos.

moving in

We did it! It took 10 hours to move everything out of our old place, pack up two cars, drive to our new place (via the mall where we had to return some library books found during the packing and get a new game for the PS2), drop off the old camper, pick up the new, set it up and move everything in. I guess 10 hours isn't bad - if we were moving in/out of a regular house, it would be a process that would have taken days if not weeks.

Got to say, I feel so good being here. Even though we've had some drizzly rain and a lot of wind, my energy levels are way up. I feel like running and skipping and doing cartwheels! I love being next to the water!

Everyone we've met here - the locals and other travelers, have all been so friendly and helpful.

We do like the area and would like to stay here for quite a while. We got a PO Box in the area and drove past some houses for rent. Then we met a traveling homeschooling family and went in their big 5th wheel trailer. Oh yeah... I like that a lot. I could totally stay on the road with a much bigger rig like that! This would make a pretty good home base but we could take other trips from here depending on the weather and our moods.

Our kids have been enjoying the fact that there are a lot more kids visiting this park. And having 3 traveling homeschooled kids as neighbours is so much fun. Unfortunately, they will be moving on in a week. So we'll enjoy their company now and who knows, we may meet up with them again?! We spent this afternoon hanging out with them at the creek while the children all swam in a large area that has a big net around it to prevent the odd shark or other ocean critter from getting in.

AJ has found other things to talk about besides his non-stop conversations about the games on the PS2 and who was going to play what and how to do something and who was going to play first etc. He's been looking at the game manuals and reading them. I guess when you're so excited about something you can do anything - even teach yourself how to read!

Camping

I just finished reading a book about green travelling throughout Australia. The author has travelled extensively in Australia, doing a lot of camping, and has a lot of tips on living simply and chemical-free while on the road.

While reading all of her little stories about real-life experiences she'd had, I came to the conclusion that I don't care to "rough it". Well, for any more than a week anyway. I guess what we are doing could be called "comfort camping". We have power and we have running water right next to us. We don't have it coming in to the van as the tap is too low and too close to some electrical appliances. With very little bench space, we opted to cover the sink and use it as a bench rather than have a sink that Nicky would find too tempting to splash everywhere.

As most of Australia has experienced drought conditions, up until recently with all of this lovely (?) rain, there are signs around about conserving water. The showers at some parks we've stayed at even have little waterproof egg timers that time a 4 minute shower. Yes, this is a good thing to make people more aware of water consumption, but it also depends on the pressure you're using. In the shower we have, it has an awful squeal in the pipes unless the pressure is turned way up. So I almost feel like I'm using enough water for two showers unless I deal with the ear-piercing squeal.

However, the book did prompt me to get the cloth napkins back out and make a few other changes to reduce the amount of waste our family produces. It reminded me to be aware of excess packaging when buying food (or anything) and to recycle wherever possible.

We are living about as simply as we can at the moment. Comfortably, with computer, tv, dvd and a new Playstation 2. - We went with the 2 rather than the 3 at this stage because it was cheaper and the games are much cheaper too. With more rain this week, we just did one of those rare spur-of-the-moment splurges. AJ was so excited that he was actually jumping and skipping all the way to the car.

But the thing about this camping life - I'm about done.
We've had too much rain and this place is too small and my gypsy self is fading - she's feeling satisfied and is ready to retire. And I'm ok with that. She's dreaming of a simple cottage with a big vege garden and herb patch. Sounds blissful.

The kids are showing signs of wanting something more stable. AJ really wants a dog, and Sami needs more of a rhythm and she wants to try some classes in drama and music.

I know I've gone back and forth about living this lifestyle. I like the exploring new places part. I just really hate the packing up and moving part. Later today we need to take every thing out of the old camper and try and pack it into two cars. Then we'll drop off the old camper to be worked on and pick up the new camper. We'll take it to the new area and clean it out - after just having had the A/C put on, it might need a good clean. Then we'll move all of our stuff into it. We did get a storage unit in the new area yesterday. That was an adventure in itself in trying to find a decent place. Large yellow pages ads can be misleading we've found. Anyway, we've already dropped off some of the excess stuff at the storage unit. We just can't seem to do it any more simply. We Need a certain amount of stuff - surfboards, books, craft stuff, empty boxes from electrical appliances still under warranty just in case we need to take them back, etc.

So we'll go to the new park, right near the beach, in the new caravan. I'm sure we'll all feel a lot better once we're settled in. We'll check out the area, find some other unschoolers, find some fun classes for the kids, and if we all agree that it's the right place for us, we will look for a house.

Maybe.

Joyous Becoming

Blogger keeps scrunching this post up with no spaces between the paragraphs. I've tried 5 times to fix it but it keeps going back to this. I'll try again later. ...Nope, it just will not cooperate so I will put an * in the para breaks and colour over them.

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Yesterday we went for a drive to the new area we'll be moving to. It felt so good to be there that we went ahead and booked in to move there this coming Thursday which is when we're paid up to at the current place. The new caravan is now registered and just needs to have the air conditioner put on and different stabilizer supports put on. The quality of the caravan on the whole is excellent, but the supports are not a good design. So it's just those two things and we're confident we can get those done by Thursday.

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The weather has been lovely. Quite warm and sunny - real summer weather. Considering all the rain we've had, and the fact that summer is "officially" over at the end of the month, it's been great.

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We spent a few hours playing on the beach yesterday. Ahhhh...it was sooo beautiful! It felt just so great to be there. The beach is the place that I feel the deepest connection to Source / God / Goddess / myself / everything. It is where I feel timeless and the mental chatter just stops. As I sat on the beach yesterday, totally in the now, I felt some mental weight being lifted. Later, as I felt a surge of energy, I realised that those stubborn pounds that I have been hanging onto, would soon also be lifted. It was an absolute knowing. I saw that I had been using some mental

process to hang onto weight to keep myself from feeling fantastic to play a "poor me" pity role to get attention. Wow. Not the kind of attention I actually want, but a kind that is easier to get perhaps. Oh dear. I apologise to myself for not being more gentle with me and I apologise to the world for putting that kind of energy out there. But, this is how we learn and (hopefully) I will remember this lesson, this feeling, this connection.

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Something that used to drive me crazy was that things never seemed to get done. I mean all done - there always seemed to be something else and something else. Just as I finished doing the laundry, it would start to pile up again. You know what I mean, ...there is always so much to DO. I could never get it all done. I used to think that "when it's all done, then I can relax". But it was never all done, so I felt I could never really relax. I have gotten a lot better about that and now I'm at the point where I no longer feel guilt when I do relax. It's taken a lot to get to there though. I think the final leg of that journey was reading Abraham saying that we never, ever, ever, get it all done. Like the following quote:

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What is it all about? To get things done? No! Because you do them, and you undo them, and you do them, and you undo them, and you do them, and you undo them... What is the point in all of it? It is the thrill of the process along the way. Physical human minds keeps thinking, We have to be going towards some end. And you kill each other by the millions trying to decide what is the appropriate end that you are all going toward. And we say, well, there's your flawed premise. Because there is no end that you're going toward. We are all on a perpetual cycle of joyous becoming. We will never get it done, ever, ever, ever, ever

Excerpted from a workshop in Spokane, WA on Tuesday, May 30th, 2000

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Being near the beach, for me, greatly helps me in the process of "joyous becoming". I can see it in Cary and my children too.

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AJ likes writing things in the sand. Yesterday he was writing "I AM RICH". Not just because he had just found 70cents, but because of how he was feeling in that beautiful place with the love of the family around him.

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All 3 children seemed so calm and happy playing on the beach with just a few sticks and their imagination.

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The place feels like such a good fit for us. Cary said "I think we've found our niche!". It sure seems like it.

Life - learning

I was going to blog about "our unschooling trip to the laundry"...talking about how many $1 coins we would need for 3 loads of washing and 2 loads in the huge dryers, then rounding up $1 coins within the family, figuring out how many each of the children lent us and discussed when they would be repaid and with how much interest. The spiders, moths and bugs we stopped to look at on our way to the laundry. While I took care of loading the machines, the kids were fascinated with watching the happenings of a building site right next to the laundry where a new cabin is being put in. It's at the beginning stages and they were preparing the driveway for concreting. The weather was alternating sun and rain as the weather systems circled above us and we attempted to predict when the sun would come out again. AJ sat on a step outside doing some crochet. A fellow traveller remarked "what a clever Mum you are - teaching him that!". I refused to take any credit and said "no, he wanted to learn, so he did".

Anyway, I was going to blog about all that, but decided instead to blog about unschooling and what that means to us. I actually prefer the terms 'natural learning', 'life learning', or more appropriately, just 'life' and 'living'. We see the whole world as our 'classroom' and life and all of it's wonderful opportunities as our potential curriculum. We see learning happening all the time and there is no distinction between a trip to the museum or playing cards or doing puzzles or reading a comic book or running around or going shopping or just lazing about in the pool.

This is a lifestyle, based on respect for each other. A lot of Trust that life is unfolding as it should for each of us. A lot of communication and connecting with each other so that we stay aware of the needs and desires of all members of the family. And just getting out and doing a lot of interesting things. En-Joy-ing all the moments.

We are all learning, all the time. Lessons of all shapes and sizes. Lessons in life that cannot be graded. Lessons that are constant and therefore, life itself. It's full of flavour and challenges and incredible joys and love and connection.
And I wouldn't have it any other way!

getting out of the quicksand

I have a bunch of half finished blogs saved as drafts, as well as others that get started in my head and don't even make it to blogger. That's kind of typical for me...I get all fired up about an idea whether it's a little post on my blog or a new direction in my life. I guess the essence of my desires come through, even though the actual route may differ. Lately I've been in a funk, (the rain hasn't helped), I've been a bit down and a bit hard on myself. We've had fun when we've gone out, but at home I have been distancing myself mentally and sinking into a quicksand of negativity.

The five pounds I am trying to lose will not budge. What's going on? I used to be a Personal Trainer for goodness sakes! I just cannot get myself motivated for any major workouts. I'm eating right and staying active but I used to do less than this and have no problem losing weight. I wake up tired and stay tired a lot of the time. I just feel out of balance. I don't know if it's 13.5 years of being vegetarian, or 11 years of being pregnant and/or nursing that are just taking me to my limits. Maybe it is all the rain we've had, maybe it's being away from the beach. Maybe it's that I'm not making time to read an inspiring book.

I don't know.

I was getting down on myself for all the unfulfilled goals I've had. But, I'm trying to see it like going to the department store of possibilities. Trying different ideas on, seeing how they feel by coming out of the dressing room and parading around in a new outfit for a while. Then seeing something in a new colour or style that might be a better fit and doing the same thing. Sometimes leaving the store with nothing, sometimes with some accessory that will just improve the current wardrobe I already have. Sometimes leaving with a brand new look that might last a long time, or just a little time.
Even so, I was still feeling a bit down, wondering why I don't stick with things that initially seem so exciting and just, well, right.
This morning, as I was trying really hard to think about some of lessons from books I've read recently, I opened my email to find this quote from Abraham:

You want the desire because it is the idea or the goal or the Creation that is responsible for a good amount of Life Force to flow through you. The main event is the Life Force that is flowing through you, not the manifestation. And if you don't believe us now, wait until that manifestation has popped, and realize that its power to draw life through you will be greatly diminished. That's why you keep wanting another goal and another goal and another goal... Excerpted from a workshop in Kansas City, KS on Sunday, September 27th, 1998

So I started feeling better. I've created an amazing amount of Life Force throughout my life. I've dared to step outside of the box and at least explore possibilities. We have worked through a lot of conditioning and personal issues to get our lives to a place where we can be even more flexible and we continue to refine and change things as we grow and change and the needs and desires of each of us is considered.

I will continue to frequent the department store of possibilities....and enjoy every moment!

Fun photos and other stuff

AJ and Sami, Warhol style:

We went into the GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art) today with some new homeschooling friends. There is an Andy Warhol exhibition on and we went to a special part of that designed just for kids. So we got there about 11 am and the place was over run with school groups. We hung back but were given preferential entrance into the 'silver cloud' room - a room with lots of huge rectangular silver helium-filled balloons. The idea was to lie down and watch the balloons float around, but they were too much fun to hit around the place too. (I didn't find out the reason behind this room - was this something that Andy used to do on a regular basis? Probably a good activity in various altered states!) There was a computer game about Andy's life and an area where people were filmed for their "15 minutes of fame" which was shown on a large screen next to the filming area after each segment was filmed. And there were photo booths which took the above photos that we emailed to ourselves.

After the GOMA, we had a picnic lunch next to the river. The kids enjoyed rolling on their sides down a grassy hill while the Mums chatted. Then we wandered over to the museum and looked at some of the animal displays. There are so many different kinds of animal, insects and birds on display. AJ was asking questions about how they got them all. He connected that most of the display animals etc were alive at one stage.

That was our main excitement for today. Yesterday we met the local unschoolers group and had a fabulous time with them hanging out at a park. I am so grateful that we found them. They are all so lovely and we all feel like it's the right fit for us.

In other news, our new caravan is slowly getting closer to being ready. The delays have been a bit frustrating but we're making the most of our time here.

I've been wanting to blog about other stuff going on here, but it's so hard to get a quiet moment to compose my thoughts that I feel I've been blogging about surface stuff. Oh, I should put my headphones on and turn on my MP3! Another use for it. I'll try that next time.

Abraham-Hicks quote for the day 15 Feb 2008

The achievement of anything that you desire must be considered success, whether it is a trophy or money or relationships, or things. But if you will let your standard of success be your achievement of joy—everything else will fall easily into place. For in the finding of joy, you are finding vibrational alignment with the resources of the Universe.

Excerpted from a workshop in “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” on Saturday, July 1st, 2006

All Is Well