.. journey

A couple of weeks ago we hooked up our old video camera to the tv to watch some home movies. We saw Summer's 5th birthday (a few days before Nicholas turned that age), AJ's 2nd and 3rd birthdays and other times of the kids just playing. Watching my children's stages and growth had me thinking of my journey as a parent and the different stages of growth I've been through as well.

Attachment parenting was a natural choice when Summer was born, even though I didn't know it had specific, almost unspoken 'rules' about how to do it 'right'. When I found that out, I started doing more research into natural parenting. I started out parenting by instinct but lost some of that in trying to follow other people's guides. I read a lot - books, magazines, internet forums and websites - trying to find the right information. Some of it was helpful. A lot of it was time used up that could have been spent discussing ideas with Cary and seeing how they could work with our family. Instead, I armed myself with new ideas and then informed Cary of how it was going to be. Then I would be mad when he didn't see it that way too! I really have spent a lot of time reading about how other 'experts' suggest we live a simple and natural and connected life. I kind of wish now that I had just lived my own life.

We moved into Steiner homeschooling, to relaxed homeschooling, then to Life Learning /Unschooling. The deeper I go into Unschooling, the more I see how beautifully it ties in everything that has resonated with me along my lifelong Spiritual journey. The Power of Now, Law of Attraction, the Golden Rule, and just a desire to be a Mama who loves spending time with her kids and sees the value in every single thing about them. For most of my life I have believed that 'Everything I Need will be Provided'. It's always been so. It encourages me to allow that same Trust to operate in the lives of my children where I have at times had doubt.

Cary and I have had our ups and downs over the years but for the most part we coast along well. A few weeks ago, we had an argument that took me by surprise. I took some time out afterwards and asked for guidance to give me some insight into preventing that pattern. I realised that I have a different level of communication with my kids than I do with Cary. I have put so much into being a Mama that I have neglected being a Partner in a deep and meaningful way. And I confess here publicly that I listened better, and gave more respect to, my children. In reading the different parenting books and advice over the years, I didn't factor that I could, or maybe should, apply those aspects that resonated with me, to my relationship with my husband.

So here I am....letting go of any rules that are not mine...letting my instincts guide my choices....making respect for ALL (not just my kids, but Cary, myself and everyone I meet) a priority. My life continues to get richer and deeper! (My golly...what will another 10 or 20 years bring?!) I know there are more lessons for me in the area of living an authentic life of deep connection...I am aware of a subtle longing inside of me for..for..? I'm sitting with that and in the meantime, I am enjoying the joy of individual moments and when there is some quiet, I ponder the root of that ache.

sigh of contentment

I've been feeling really good eating mostly raw food. My digestion is much happier and my body is still detoxing a bit, but I know it won't be long before that vibrant energy returns.

We had a great day yesterday with our favourite homeschool group. They had a kite theme and mother nature kindly turned on a nice breeze without it being too windy. We, and some others took kites, others made kites or tied streamers onto sticks and things to run around with. Such a relaxed, easy atmosphere. Such a beautiful area. Such awesome families to hang out with. (We still love you las vegas life learners too!)

Not much else to say at the moment. Today we are going to the library this morning, home for lunch then I think we'll go hang out on the beach. Summer and AJ are into learning chess at the moment so we'll probably fit a few games in along the way. Right now, Cary and the kids are in the other room doing SingStar on the PlayStation. Favourite songs at the moment: "Video killed the radio star" and "Girls just wanna have fun".

Love this life!!

Fun photos and other stuff

AJ and Sami, Warhol style:

We went into the GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art) today with some new homeschooling friends. There is an Andy Warhol exhibition on and we went to a special part of that designed just for kids. So we got there about 11 am and the place was over run with school groups. We hung back but were given preferential entrance into the 'silver cloud' room - a room with lots of huge rectangular silver helium-filled balloons. The idea was to lie down and watch the balloons float around, but they were too much fun to hit around the place too. (I didn't find out the reason behind this room - was this something that Andy used to do on a regular basis? Probably a good activity in various altered states!) There was a computer game about Andy's life and an area where people were filmed for their "15 minutes of fame" which was shown on a large screen next to the filming area after each segment was filmed. And there were photo booths which took the above photos that we emailed to ourselves.

After the GOMA, we had a picnic lunch next to the river. The kids enjoyed rolling on their sides down a grassy hill while the Mums chatted. Then we wandered over to the museum and looked at some of the animal displays. There are so many different kinds of animal, insects and birds on display. AJ was asking questions about how they got them all. He connected that most of the display animals etc were alive at one stage.

That was our main excitement for today. Yesterday we met the local unschoolers group and had a fabulous time with them hanging out at a park. I am so grateful that we found them. They are all so lovely and we all feel like it's the right fit for us.

In other news, our new caravan is slowly getting closer to being ready. The delays have been a bit frustrating but we're making the most of our time here.

I've been wanting to blog about other stuff going on here, but it's so hard to get a quiet moment to compose my thoughts that I feel I've been blogging about surface stuff. Oh, I should put my headphones on and turn on my MP3! Another use for it. I'll try that next time.

Moving on up and on

Yipee-I-O!!! Our new camper trailer finally arrived from the USA and it is in our possession. It took threatening the shippers with getting the law and the media involved, but we have it now..yay! The shippers were holding on to it, claiming we did not pay and suggesting we pay again. After proving beyond doubt that they had indeed cashed our check, they could stall no longer and we were able to pick it up. Wow! It is so nice. It is 21 years newer than our current van, and a bit bigger all around. Sami will have one end which has a double bed, AJ will sleep a step down from her where the table folds down into a double bed. At the other end, Nicholas will have his own large single a step down from where Cary and I sleep which is a huge king size bed! Luxury!

We need to do a few things to the new van to be able to get an Australian compliance plate and then get her registered. We also are getting the airconditioner unit put on top that Cary had sent over in the camper. When the new camper is done, we will get the old one spruced up and ready for sale.

I've gotten used to this campground. It's not too far from the motorways, markets, shops and it's really easy to get into the city - about a 20 minute drive from here to where we park. We've got to know some of the long-termers here and have a comfortable complacency starting to happen. We have looked at a lot of other caravan parks but have not found anything better. Until yesterday when we found the perfect spot for us! It's about an hour south of here, but right on a creek and across the road from a beautiful beach. It's close enough yet far enough from a really popular tourist destination that has a lot of different and interesting attractions. It's also close to the hinterland with beautiful rainforest walks and waterfalls. There's a wild life sanctuary in the next suburb and a new eco-village being built. We will move to the new campground after we've gotten things sorted out with the campers here.

It will mean we will be further away from the lovely un/homeschool groups we've recently met so we might not make it to their gatherings every week. So I'll start looking for more unschoolers in the new area. I just know there out there!

It's nice to keep things moving and interesting. Never a dull moment here!!

moving into the groove

This past week has been busy for me. We've just been running around doing 'stuff' that hasn't really been all that exciting - organising the storage shed, shopping for some camping supplies to make life here more comfortable but then those purchases required some shuffling of our stuff here, picking up stuff we had for sale at a Tender Center that did not sell and just general busy-ness around camp with the ongoing prep'ing meals, cleaning up and washing. We have had some playtime at the pool here or catching up with friends.

On Friday Sami wanted to go to the school to watch the Main Lesson Sharing. She said that her class was going to do their first violin performance (after 6 lessons) and play 'Hot Cross Buns'. She just said it as a matter of fact, she did not seem sad that she was not involved. I was a little concerned about going to the school and how the kids would feel, but she wanted to go so we did. We all enjoyed seeing friends again. And we enjoyed leaving and going to do our own thing. We had a really fun afternoon. We spent a couple of hours at the Plaza, looking at books and toys and getting a few things for dinner. Sami had been asking some geography questions lately. We went past a jewelery store that had a beautiful world globe on display. Every country was a different type of stone or shell or wood. So we spent some time looking at that. It was the first time that it really felt like we were unschooling again. It was like we had all let go of something by our visit to the school and were back in touch with the way things used to be. Sure, we're all a little different, but we were connecting on a level we hadn't done for a while.

While we were shopping, Sami bought some blue nail polish and painted all her nails and AJ's too and Nuke's and my toe nails when we got back home. Nuke is so thrilled with his blue toes he kept taking his little crocs off to show people. It's a darkish blue but that's the only blue they had and that's what she wanted. I was thinking about what I wrote in the meme about my favourite colour being a medium blue and I don't think that's right. When I looked at my clothing and jewelry and accessories, the predominant blue was turquoise and I realised that it is that colour that gives me the most joy. Other colours in my collection of personal things, are some medium blue things, are some dusty pink, a little brown, black, khaki and peach, light purple, some cream coloured clothes and one mint green t-shirt. I don't feel good in yellow, or most greens. I also don't like things that have patterns on them with the exception of sarongs and skirts and maybe a pair of swim shorts. I feel cluttered and uncomfortable if I wear a shirt or long pants that has a print on it. Just one of my little quirks. Actually I don't really like patterns on a lot of things in the house - like sheets, though it's ok for a doona cover. Curtains and tablecloths I prefer plain but can live with some patterns, I just feel better if they're plain. I go a little nuts when I see patterned wall paper and carpet. Silly little things about me that I'm just recognising as a fact of who I am.

After painting our nails this afternoon, we met some friends at a nearby playground. Sami wanted to walk there by herself. She is wanting more independence. I decided to drive as Nuke hadn't napped and was getting tired. Even though the park wasn't far, I didn't feel like carrying him the whole way back. So Sami walked there without noticing that I was still keeping an eye on her by driving slowly. She's getting so tall..a camping neighbour that we've become friends with, thought she was a teenager.

The mornings are getting warmer here. It's making my sunrise yoga even more enjoyable when I don't have to wear so many clothes and can just do it in my long yoga pants and a tank top.

Ah, life is good, I have great kids and a great man and a world of adventure rolling at my feet!