Sassy me...

I gave my boys a haircut last week and then decided that I should have a trim as well.  AJ offered to cut my hair for me.  It's been pretty warm here lately and we don't have air conditioning in the caravan or in our car.  In order to stay cooler, I needed to tie my hair back all of the time...and I was also getting too many headaches. 

I told AJ that I wanted to go a bit shorter and he figured that chin-length would be good so he snipped away.  Summer evened it out a bit and now we have a new-look me!....

I love it!  I don't just look a little different, I feel different too...Much sassier!  (and my headaches have stopped!)  But this feeling is not just because of the haircut.  (It would be the other way around.)

I wrote recently about some of the pre-menopausal symptoms I've been experiencing. I haven't had the hot flushes for several months, I just feel like my whole body is running warmer than usual. Maybe that's partly hormones and partly, or mostly, the extra pounds I'm wearing. This is the first summer that I've had a challenge with the heat of the season. As I'm entering my own autumn years, I'm actually looking forward to the season of autumn and the slightly cooler weather. Even my wardrobe now has some autumn colours in it.

I like this feeling, it feels like a new, stronger power brewing, creating a more Sassy me, not willing to take any crap from anyone. No longer willing to put myself out for others. Not selfish as such, just making sure I take care of myself and my family first. With a fiery, passionate determination to back it up. Very fiery. It's almost like adolescence again only more directed and with the wisdom of experience backing it.

Several things have happened lately which have led to me feeling a little taken advantage of.  I take full responsibility for my part in that. 

And now I take full responsibility in ensuring it never happens again! 

I claim my right to speak my mind and defend my needs!  I know that I am valuable and worthwhile!

When I logged on here this morning, this is the daily affirmation from Dr Wayne Dyer that I was greeted with:

My destiny is mine to control.

When you acquire enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, it's almost impossible for you to be controlled and manipulated by anybody else.

It was such a great reminder and affirmation of where I am right now.   Who said getting older was a bad thing?  Right now, I wouldn't trade it for anything!

moving into the groove

This past week has been busy for me. We've just been running around doing 'stuff' that hasn't really been all that exciting - organising the storage shed, shopping for some camping supplies to make life here more comfortable but then those purchases required some shuffling of our stuff here, picking up stuff we had for sale at a Tender Center that did not sell and just general busy-ness around camp with the ongoing prep'ing meals, cleaning up and washing. We have had some playtime at the pool here or catching up with friends.

On Friday Sami wanted to go to the school to watch the Main Lesson Sharing. She said that her class was going to do their first violin performance (after 6 lessons) and play 'Hot Cross Buns'. She just said it as a matter of fact, she did not seem sad that she was not involved. I was a little concerned about going to the school and how the kids would feel, but she wanted to go so we did. We all enjoyed seeing friends again. And we enjoyed leaving and going to do our own thing. We had a really fun afternoon. We spent a couple of hours at the Plaza, looking at books and toys and getting a few things for dinner. Sami had been asking some geography questions lately. We went past a jewelery store that had a beautiful world globe on display. Every country was a different type of stone or shell or wood. So we spent some time looking at that. It was the first time that it really felt like we were unschooling again. It was like we had all let go of something by our visit to the school and were back in touch with the way things used to be. Sure, we're all a little different, but we were connecting on a level we hadn't done for a while.

While we were shopping, Sami bought some blue nail polish and painted all her nails and AJ's too and Nuke's and my toe nails when we got back home. Nuke is so thrilled with his blue toes he kept taking his little crocs off to show people. It's a darkish blue but that's the only blue they had and that's what she wanted. I was thinking about what I wrote in the meme about my favourite colour being a medium blue and I don't think that's right. When I looked at my clothing and jewelry and accessories, the predominant blue was turquoise and I realised that it is that colour that gives me the most joy. Other colours in my collection of personal things, are some medium blue things, are some dusty pink, a little brown, black, khaki and peach, light purple, some cream coloured clothes and one mint green t-shirt. I don't feel good in yellow, or most greens. I also don't like things that have patterns on them with the exception of sarongs and skirts and maybe a pair of swim shorts. I feel cluttered and uncomfortable if I wear a shirt or long pants that has a print on it. Just one of my little quirks. Actually I don't really like patterns on a lot of things in the house - like sheets, though it's ok for a doona cover. Curtains and tablecloths I prefer plain but can live with some patterns, I just feel better if they're plain. I go a little nuts when I see patterned wall paper and carpet. Silly little things about me that I'm just recognising as a fact of who I am.

After painting our nails this afternoon, we met some friends at a nearby playground. Sami wanted to walk there by herself. She is wanting more independence. I decided to drive as Nuke hadn't napped and was getting tired. Even though the park wasn't far, I didn't feel like carrying him the whole way back. So Sami walked there without noticing that I was still keeping an eye on her by driving slowly. She's getting so tall..a camping neighbour that we've become friends with, thought she was a teenager.

The mornings are getting warmer here. It's making my sunrise yoga even more enjoyable when I don't have to wear so many clothes and can just do it in my long yoga pants and a tank top.

Ah, life is good, I have great kids and a great man and a world of adventure rolling at my feet!