it's all about me

I'm accepting a new reality. This is MY path, MY journey. Dealing with my current frustrations is a part of that. I'm not waiting for Cary's return for it to be better, I'm making it all better right now. I'm accepting my strength and my role in my own life. It's not that Cary's away, it's not that the children are fighting, it's not the extra people here, it's not the rainy weather. It's ME. I have the power to change my reality but simply changing my focus and my mental chatter. I can choose to feel great or I can choose to feel bad. And it's good to feel good. If I feel bad, then it is only up to me to change that. It's that simple. And I knew all of this, I just forgot. I don't think I'll forget again. I've had enough of giving my power away. I accept it here and now.

learning from frustration

I've been feeling a little frustrated lately.

Perhaps it's that it's been over 5 weeks since Cary left and I've had very little time to myself. And I miss him.

Perhaps it's that, if I don't keep on top of the cleaning and the clutter, it really starts to bother me. But it only takes 10 minutes to get it all back to tidy again.

Perhaps it's because the 3 kids recently had worms. Worms! They've never had them before. Is that from living like this? No, research shows they are very common. But still, it had me wondering. And doing a LOT more washing than usual.

Perhaps it's because the "honeymoon" period of this new lifestyle is wearing off. The initial "oh we're living like we're on vacation all the time" is over and we're moving into a new acceptance of actually living like this. It's still good, but I have found myself focusing on little annoyances like having to wait for a washing machine (it is school holidays so there are more people in the park at the moment) or try and fit all of our clothes onto a small space of communal clothes line and last night I had to wait for the oven in the camp kitchen because I got there too late and I haven't figured out how to use the oven in our camper, and the tray I had the home-made pizza on for the kids was probably too big for it anyway.
The practical side of living in a small space was bothering me. Some little things I wanted were stored under the seating area which also gets made into the boys bed. I used to undo the bed every day but that was getting too much so now I only undo it every few days. Yesterday I wanted something that was just really hard to get to. I ended up showing my kids how to have a good hissy fit! I need to shuffle things around a bit to make it easier to get to the things I need sometimes and move the things I rarely need to the parts that are harder to get to. Then comes the thought "do I really need some of the things I've brought with me?" I have hardly looked at any of the books I've brought for myself. But it is just nice to know that they are there in case I want to (or get the time to).

Ooh - here's another thought - if I really wanted to look at those books (or do any of the crafts, play the games, etc), then surely I would make that a priority and would find a way to work it in. Like when I read the last Harry Potter book in 3 or 4 days time. So why can't I be more passionate about following my other interests and make certain I get time every day to devote to them? To a certain extent I am just living my passion in the way that I am living and growing. But I'd like to do ..just more of the things that interest me.

Perhaps it's because my little frustrations are rubbing off on the kids and they have been annoying each other and that's been adding to my frustration.

I am trying to turn this all around. Get back into the moment. Focus on what's good now. I often see the faces of the families as they are packing up, preparing to leave. No one looks happy. The parents are probably thinking about the drive ahead of them, what needs to be done when they get home and back to work and into the routine of their lives. The kids are probably wishing they could stay and play all the time. They're probably all sad that their vacation - and their relaxed, fun time there - has almost ended. I remind myself that this is a choice we've made. We could choose another way if we wanted. Do I want anything else? ..No.

I'm learning about myself and these frustrations are all lessons. (I feel I've blogged about this before, but it's coming around again so I want to express it here, and tell it like it is as we adjust to living on the road full-time.)

I love living simply. I love the freedom we have when we're ready to move on. I love living outdoors. I love my kids. I so want to be a really great mother but right now I don't feel like I am as I've been focused on keeping things organised, and concerning myself with the daily tasks. The kids have been getting little bits of me in between all of the other things we've been doing. Even when I have had time with the kids, I've often been thinking about the other things that still need doing that day (gotta pick up more bananas, get the washing off the line, empty the toilet, charge the phone, make sure the internet bill is right etc.) That is so back-to-front! I'm going to switch that so that I focus on my kids and the daily tasks are things that get done in between all of the things that we do together.
It will all be easier when Cary gets back and he can help with some of those daily things as well as make sure I get time for me which I think is what I'm really needing. I used to think that a "good" mother could totally focus on her children, and time for herself was a selfish luxury. Now I know that, for me, it is essential for my sanity and serenity. But for now, I'll take my selfish moments whenever I can whether it's for one minute or 20 (if Nuke takes a nap and the other two are playing with friends), and remember to recharge myself. I still do yoga most mornings, sometimes if I wake up really early, I light some candles and do yoga by candlelight just before the sun comes up. It's very special. I'm eating well - simple fresh foods - and my energy is increasing. I think I'm moving into a new phase of me and these frustrations are old conditionings being noticed and released.

I am here now. This moment is perfect.

kids fun

We have the "International Buskers Festival" in the area at the moment. There are street performers from the US, UK, Europe as well as a lot of local talent. While we were at the harbourside markets last Sunday, we saw an Elvis impersonator (Tommy Memphis from Las Vegas - of all places!). The first half of his show was a typical Elvis show but the second half was very much for the kids as he invited all the kids up to his stage area and they all danced and sang and then he started asking them some questions, like "what should we call our band?" and "what's your favourite number?" (I can't remember what relevance that had to anything, but some of the answers were funny.) AJ's answer to that question was...


"googolplex"! Which AJ had recently learned is the highest named number. Tommy Memphis had no idea what that was but called for a round of applause from the audience as it just sounded impressive.

Yesterday the kids club at the RV park started due to the local school holidays. In the morning they were offering crafts and free face painting.
Here's how Princess Sami looked afterwards..




And Spiderman AJ with a wrap-around snake up one arm and a spider with web on his other hand.



Nicholas did not want anything on him. He was a little busy anyway - he's such a friendly little fellow and says hello to most people he sees. Some of the boys that were here recently, all around 10 years old, were very taken with him and his friendly manner. He would try to keep up with them when they went out on their scooters. They were very nice about waiting for him and even showed him some basic tricks that he could do on his scooter. I can see an extreme sports star in the making! Yesterday some of the boys came to door asking "where's Nicholas?". They were going to play soccer and wanted to know if he wanted to join them. So funny that my 2 year old has the big kids looking for him.

We went out yesterday to see some of the buskers. We were not impressed with some but loved "the amazing drumming monkeys" and the little bit of another performer we saw who did his juggling show to the music of Queen. We plan on going out today to see some more buskers. If I can get Nicholas away from his fan club that is.

hello goodbye

Earlier this week AJ met a little boy while we were playing at the pool. They bonded immediately as they recognised the cheeky playfulness of each other. The little boys name is Tom and he's almost 6 years old. Tom became part of the family, often spending hours here playing, or he and AJ were all over the campground on Toms bike and AJ's scooter, or over at Toms tent or at the playground or somewhere together. Toms mum and I became friends and spent hours chatting. They extended their visit by one day, but then they had to go. On their last night here, Nicholas went to bed early but the rest of us hung out on the lawn outside our annexe. We sat around playing funny games like Chinese Whispers and "If you could be any kind of animal/vehicle/insect/food/colour, what would you be?" and duck, duck, goose which somehow (that 5-6year old humour) became 'toilet paper, toilet paper, flush". All this under the light of the full moon! The kids spent a while playing hide & seek before we eventually called it a night. Sami and AJ fell into bed and were asleep within seconds. Good fun, good friends.

Living like this, we know that the people we meet are not going to be in our lives long, so we make the most of it while we can. These short-term friendships are an interesting lesson. I think we are appreciating these new friends, as well as old friends, a lot more. We're also finding it easier to share bits of ourselves, our stories, our things.

The morning that Tom and his mum were due to leave, I thought we might be able to go over and help them pack and I was surprised at how sad I felt that they had already left by the time we got over to their site. I thought AJ would be sad too, but he actually seemed ok. There are so many kids in the park at the moment and this afternoon we had some really nice kids pitch their tents in the site next to ours. AJ made friends with one of the boys there who is 10.


We're looking after some bunnies and a cat for some friends that have gone away for 2 weeks. We can't have animals here so we're making daily visits to their house which is not far from here. On the way to their house today, Sami said "I'm glad we don't live in a house anymore" When I asked her why, she went on about how she's really enjoying living outdoors and the camping lifestyle. She also really really loves the pool at the campground we're at. AJ however is really looking forward to a time when we can have our own pets again. He recently declared that he was going to be a veterinarian when he gets older. He's always had a fascination with bugs and lizards and he is very comfortable around all kinds of animals and insects. Whatever he ends up doing, I just hope it makes him happy and excited.

pool photos

There's AJ coming off the bottom of the water slide after going down on his tummy. There are two other bigger slides over to the right (not in view) and the kids refer to this one as the "baby slide". It's such a great pool. It's fun for kids of all ages, even the little ones...


An afternoon in the life of Sir Nicholas...



Splashin' around in "MY ring"




Hanging out with the big yellow guy with water squirting out of his head.


Looking for pearls


Just looking cute


Taking a little rest



And back to it...he's sitting on a water fountain here which might explain the look on his face!

profile photo help

For you exprienced bloggers out there...I am trying to change my profile photo but just can't seem to do it. I've following the help instructions but it keeps changing back to the old photo. Any suggestions?

Living our life..

I usually go to bed very tired and wake up still tired. After a short time of being committed to eating much better and focusing on having vibrant health, I am waking up not as tired as I was. So I can see that it is working. I'm eating less food than I was, but of a higher nutritional quality and my body is appreciating it. As we are saving so much in our costs of living compared to when we had a house, we are putting our health high on the list and only buying organic fruit and veg where possible.


It's school holidays here (spring break). The various states start at different times but I think this weekend is when they all overlap. The campground is booked solid. It is so interesting to see all the different types of camping - all kind of tents, camper trailers - an ingenious creation where all the camping basics are attached and stored, complete with pull out kitchen area and hard floor tent - caravans (travel trailers), motorhomes, and every now and then we see one of the big US-style 5th wheels or class A motorhomes. A lot of Aussies are impressed by those but then talk about the cost of petrol and how one of those here is about the same price of a solid house on land.

We've been meeting so many interesting people from such a variety of places. Country folk, city folk, people in between, ...every one has a story and it is like creating a living book as we all share ours.

People often ask me "where are you from". I used to give kind of a long answer explaining how we moved out of our house nearby and how we're fine-tuning the process of living on the road so we can travel, blah blah. Now I just answer that question "originally Sydney, most recently before here it was Las Vegas, Nevada. We live on the road in search of adventure." That opens up a whole lot of questions which are often different coming from different people. People with children usually ask about schooling and I tell them we homeschool. Sometimes they go on to ask about how that actually works and when I explain how we do it - learning from life, following the interest of the individual child, exposing them to lots of different experiences, playing lots of games and honestly answering all of their questions when they ask - some of them seemed amazed that children can actually learn all they need to know in this manner.

When hearing about our life, a lot of people tell me "oh that sounds so good, I wish we could do that, but....". I don't judge or try to help them figure out a way, I just tell them "anything is possible" and plant a seed, or water an existing one.

Sami and AJ have found a friend who recently was given a Nintendo DS and they have been helping her learn about it and borrowing games from each other. They've been spending an hour or so at her campsite every day lately. She's in her mid 20's. I love that my children have friends of all ages.

Recently I purchased a shopping trolley - the kind I used to only see older people use as they went to buy their groceries, that they could just pull along. Mine is blue (of course!), has several pockets on the outside as well as the big inner area and it folds up. I tell you, it has been a great thing. My bag tends to get so heavy with all of the water bottles and bits & pieces and also the weight of all the aussie coins ($2, $1, 50c, 20c, 10c, 5c are all in coin). So when we go shopping, I put all our stuff in there as well as most of our purchases now that we buy more efficiently. Saves my back and the kids enjoy pulling it along too. When we're not using it for shopping, we take it to the pool with our towels, goggles, flippers, water and snacks in it. When it's not being used for that, Nicholas likes to play with it around here.

The earth is warming up and life is good!

Raw Life

I looked in the mirror the other day and saw some new wrinkles. I thought about how my body has been feeling lately, which is not great. I go to bed exhausted and wake up tired. My digestion has not been good, but it has been sensitive my entire life and I learned to live with a fairly constant unease in that department. With the exception of when I was eating only raw foods when I felt physically and mentally light as well as energetic, enthusiastic and just excited about life.

I was thinking about what causes the appearance of aging as well as the physical discomforts that people expect to go along with that. I would put it down to one word. Stress. The stresses of our lifestyle, our diets, our mental processes. I know I've experienced major stress in the past 12+ months that I could have handled better if I'd changed my mental chatter as well as my food choices. People tell me "but you eat so well". Maybe compared to a lot of others, but having lived only on raw food previously, I know I'm not serving my body. Perhaps the effects of aging show up sooner or later, but too much stress can definitely make them appear sooner. I am changing that now.

The conditioning that surrounds food is a deep topic. It's linked to all kinds of emotions - good times with family and friends, as well as comforting ourselves when upset and stuffing down uncomfortable feelings. Throughout our education we're told that we need "all five food groups" in order to be healthy.

When I was eating all raw foods, I felt like the true me, the raw me, was exposed. Sometimes that was not pretty and I did not know how to process some of that and eventually went back to eating cooked food.

I consider myself to be back on the raw path. Raw as in peeling the layers and exposing my succulent self. I have a commitment to health - mental and physical. I am allowing those uncomfortable feeling to surface so that I can process them now - look at them, see where they come from, how they've been serving me, and then thank them and kiss them goodbye if I have no more need for them in my life. I've grown and learned and have new tools within myself to be able to do this.

Living this life of simplicity in my outer surroundings is allowing me and inspiring me to simplify my inner life. To remove the unnecessary layers and allow my truth and the real, raw and juicy me to stand proud and strong and sure.

One way for me to get back to this is by eating a diet high in raw food, and for other food choices to be as close to nature as possible - like steamed veges and rice on a cold day.
Another way is for me to consistently do Reiki on myself as I go to sleep and when I wake up. To continue doing my morning yoga, to drink lots of water, to be in the moment, to focus on the joy and good things here and now.

I aim to live a long and vibrantly healthy life. My commitment starts right now!

moving into the groove

This past week has been busy for me. We've just been running around doing 'stuff' that hasn't really been all that exciting - organising the storage shed, shopping for some camping supplies to make life here more comfortable but then those purchases required some shuffling of our stuff here, picking up stuff we had for sale at a Tender Center that did not sell and just general busy-ness around camp with the ongoing prep'ing meals, cleaning up and washing. We have had some playtime at the pool here or catching up with friends.

On Friday Sami wanted to go to the school to watch the Main Lesson Sharing. She said that her class was going to do their first violin performance (after 6 lessons) and play 'Hot Cross Buns'. She just said it as a matter of fact, she did not seem sad that she was not involved. I was a little concerned about going to the school and how the kids would feel, but she wanted to go so we did. We all enjoyed seeing friends again. And we enjoyed leaving and going to do our own thing. We had a really fun afternoon. We spent a couple of hours at the Plaza, looking at books and toys and getting a few things for dinner. Sami had been asking some geography questions lately. We went past a jewelery store that had a beautiful world globe on display. Every country was a different type of stone or shell or wood. So we spent some time looking at that. It was the first time that it really felt like we were unschooling again. It was like we had all let go of something by our visit to the school and were back in touch with the way things used to be. Sure, we're all a little different, but we were connecting on a level we hadn't done for a while.

While we were shopping, Sami bought some blue nail polish and painted all her nails and AJ's too and Nuke's and my toe nails when we got back home. Nuke is so thrilled with his blue toes he kept taking his little crocs off to show people. It's a darkish blue but that's the only blue they had and that's what she wanted. I was thinking about what I wrote in the meme about my favourite colour being a medium blue and I don't think that's right. When I looked at my clothing and jewelry and accessories, the predominant blue was turquoise and I realised that it is that colour that gives me the most joy. Other colours in my collection of personal things, are some medium blue things, are some dusty pink, a little brown, black, khaki and peach, light purple, some cream coloured clothes and one mint green t-shirt. I don't feel good in yellow, or most greens. I also don't like things that have patterns on them with the exception of sarongs and skirts and maybe a pair of swim shorts. I feel cluttered and uncomfortable if I wear a shirt or long pants that has a print on it. Just one of my little quirks. Actually I don't really like patterns on a lot of things in the house - like sheets, though it's ok for a doona cover. Curtains and tablecloths I prefer plain but can live with some patterns, I just feel better if they're plain. I go a little nuts when I see patterned wall paper and carpet. Silly little things about me that I'm just recognising as a fact of who I am.

After painting our nails this afternoon, we met some friends at a nearby playground. Sami wanted to walk there by herself. She is wanting more independence. I decided to drive as Nuke hadn't napped and was getting tired. Even though the park wasn't far, I didn't feel like carrying him the whole way back. So Sami walked there without noticing that I was still keeping an eye on her by driving slowly. She's getting so tall..a camping neighbour that we've become friends with, thought she was a teenager.

The mornings are getting warmer here. It's making my sunrise yoga even more enjoyable when I don't have to wear so many clothes and can just do it in my long yoga pants and a tank top.

Ah, life is good, I have great kids and a great man and a world of adventure rolling at my feet!

More pics

Random sand stuff.



Nunu's and my footprint.


Happy boys.


Lunar eclipse in progress.


Sami at her last main lesson sharing.

Local wildlife

Local duck family... ah, they're so cute


More rainbow lorikeets. Interestingly, they have not been around for about a week, after being daily visitors for a few weeks.


A Plovers nest. Looks like a pile of leaves on the ground. If you look close to the middle of the photo, you can see two brownish balls that are the eggs. The birds spent did not always guard the nest so the eggs disappeared after a few days. Probably taken by a Magpie.


I should have zoomed in on this but wanted to show where the Plover built the nest. That's it actually sitting on it (the white/grey blob in the middle of the pic). It's lucky it was a quite time at the campground as it's located right in the middle of two campsites, and on a popular cut-through for other campers. Although it's not so lucky as we know the fate of the eggs.

School's out!

School is out for Sami and AJ!
AJ had his last day of school on Friday. After a moody start to the day on his part, he had a very good day. I didn't go on the bushwalk with the class as Sami had decided to take the day off and we did some other things. After the previous week, when it seemed that AJ was getting into trouble all the time, I didn't want to go, and left it up to AJ as to whether he wanted to or not. He did. The teachers gave him the role of Leader and he enjoyed that and actually did what they asked. I don't know what to make of that. They said he "plays up" more when I'm there. Maybe he feels he can be himself when I'm there and not restricted and told he can't look at something interesting. I think there's been so much change around here that it's catching up with him. He's been different and a bit distant and I'm looking forward to getting closer again.

AJ's class did a lovely goodbye ceremony for him. Ok, I had a few tears. We've been at the school for almost a year. We've met a lot of friends there and it did have a lot of good points - the festivals, the singing, the music, the plays, the crafts, the art, the community. The school itself is absolutely lovely, with it's wood and stone buildings and bushland setting. Sami seemed pretty content there. There were some things she didn't like, but on the whole, she enjoyed her experience there. She had a very special bond with her teacher and, yesterday afternoon as they were saying goodbye, I had more tears. I was grateful to this woman for treating Sami with such gentle love and care and guiding her in ways that I have not been able to. I cried to release the mixed feelings that have come with the children being in school, and later I cried some more to finish that process and out of relief that we were finally getting on with the next phase in our lives.

When I picked Sami up yesterday, she looked very happy. She'd been given some special things from Tracey (teacher) and the class. She was surprised that she got to take home all of her books and pencils from her desk. When we got home, she happily went through it all looking at her different crafts and paintings and things. We are actually going back to the school today to a surprise birthday morning tea that I have arranged for Tracey from the whole class. I feel that Sami and Tracey will keep in touch regularly, whether it's us popping into the school to see her if we're in the area, or by email, they will continue their friendship, and that's comforting to Sami.

Sami has grown up a lot in the last year. She still struggles at times (don't we all) and can be very dramatic, but she also has a calmness and gentleness that seems deeper. She often helps out around here without being asked, and is willing to help out when I do ask. AJ loves to annoy her and I hope he calms down a bit now that he doesn't have the school influence and they can spend lots of time swimming and playing together.

I was going to download some photos to post here, but I just realised that the camera is in the under-seat-converted-into-a-bed-storage that Nicholas is sleeping on at the moment. I think we're going to find living in this a bit cramped now that the kids are out of school. Sami really needs to have her own space so she sleeps and keeps her special things in one of the end "bedrooms". Cary and I sleep at the other end and the boys sleep right next to us, with just an optional curtain between us, on the seating that converts to a bed, which is a bit of a bother to set up every night and break down every morning. Finding time for intimacy is a bit tricky, but we do have the annexe as an extra room (not that there is much room in there though) after the kids are asleep and I'm thinking about setting up a small tent outside. The lovely "afternoon quickie" has been put on hold at the moment as it's impossible to sneak off to another room while the kids are busy. With Cary in the US at the moment, it's all on hold anyway. Hope he's back soon!

Something we've found about this lifestyle is that clutter accumulates rapidly. It doesn't take much at all for the place to look like it's been through a tornado, so I need to stay fairly organised. Still loving it though!

8 facts about meme

I was tagged for a meme by my beautiful and inspiring friend Dharmez at http://peacefulgoddess.blogspot.com. It's like an online chain letter. I'm supposed to list 8 facts about myself and then tag 8 other bloggers to do the same. I'm just going to leave it open if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged. So now, here are 8 facts about me....

1. My favourite colour is blue. I prefer a medium blue to a real dark or real light blue, but if they are they are the only options, any blue will do. I don't remember when it became my favourite colour, maybe around age 9? A few minutes after Sami was born, I remember thinking "pink is my new favourite colour". Silly huh? But it's never replaced blue.

2. I also like sparkly things like crystals and the reflections that they make. I think the love of both blue and sparkly things stems from growing up near the ocean, watching and playing in the blue, sparkly water.

3. I've worked in a McDonalds, a dry cleaners, a bank, an office dealing in waste management, a supermarket, a bakery, a shoe store, a porn company, restaurants, bars, I had my own business hosting cocktail parties, I also worked in a general store and nightclub on a tropical island, in a health food store, as a personal fitness trainer, as an aerobics instructor, a receptionist at a health club, a Reiki practitioner, doing all kinds of support work in an holistic health center and best of all...as a Mama.

4. I'm enjoying being 42. I am trying to "gracefully surrender the things of youth". Not that I think I'm old, but hey, I'm double 21 and my body doesn't always respond like it did then. I feel a confidence and Knowing that I didn't have 21 years ago and that's a good thing.

5. My favourite foods in the world are tropical fruits, especially bananas and mangos. I feel so good when I eat just fresh foods. Succulent and wild - both mangos and me.

6. My favourite drink in the world is pure, fresh water. Second is any one of a number of fresh fruit smoothies I make.

7. I can't stand it when my kids fight. Nothing stresses me more than that. I try not to get emotionally involved, but I can't help it sometimes.

8. I love being a free spirit, living on the road, with endless possibilities, making our own map as we go. I'm proud of the way I'm living and Being.

The most important things..

I still haven't gotten around to downloading some photos, but I will soon. We've had a busy few days around here. Last Friday, I walked with the kids into school and enjoyed the smell of wood and lavender that usually greets us. I looked around the beautiful rooms and, for a moment, had a period of doubt about if we were doing the right thing. A couple of hours later, I went on a bushwalk with AJ's class. "Hold your partners hand...stay together...don't go there, that's out of bounds....that's too far...AJ, get back here...(AJ finds an 'acceptable' activity, gets deeply engrossed and then..)...time to go back now...AJ, you need to line up with your partner now...AJ!" Ah yeah, no doubts at all now. On the walk back, AJ and a friend wanted to look at a tree that was dripping dark red sticky sap but they were told to get back in line and not hold the rest of the class up. That afternoon we stayed late at the school as Sami recently joined the adult choir that practices then. So while we were waiting, I helped tidy the Kindy room in preparation for the big Spring Festival coming up and AJ and Nicholas ran around with friends.

Saturday we had a clean up day around here and then some friends came around to celebrate the mama's birthday. Great fun. Sunday we went to the markets for our weekly fruit and veg and then went to the Spring Festival at the kids school. It was lovely. Sami joined her class for a performance, but then refused to join the kids choir performance which she is also in, as she only wants to be part of the adult choir now. She always looks so confident and comfortable onstage. When she was singing with the adult choir, she was in the front row and was loving it. When she sings with her class, she's in the back row as she's one of the taller kids and isn't as impressed by the experience.

Yesterday (Monday) was a no-school day so we caught up on washing, made a chocolate cake and some friends came over for an afternoon of playing in the pool. A good time had by all.

The kids have less than a week of school left and have not said a whole lot about that. With the warmer weather coming and the opportunity to spend most of the day at the pool or on the beach, I don't think school will be missed. AJ will probably miss some friends, but they can still have playdates. Sami will definitely miss her teacher and the Main Lesson work. But I'm going to see if she can still be a part of the adult choir while we're in the area and we can always pop in and say hello if she wants. Sami and AJ have been fighting a lot lately, but hopefully it won't take long to rediscover that they are actually good friends and like playing together.

Both children have been a little sad that we sold the "big car". After recently moving out of the house and into the camper, putting most of their things in storage, Cary leaving temporarily, selling the favourite car, and soon to be leaving school...that's a lot of change in a short time. I take it on my role as Mama to try and protect my children to a certain extent from sad and uncomfortable feelings at these ages, and to try and provide a sense of security. Cary sees my point, but also thinks that this was a choice, not like it was suddenly all taken from us by fire or flood. They are learning at these ages that the important things in life are not material things...they are impermanent. But the most important and constant thing in their lives is the love of family and the adventure of living.

A moment here

Yesterday we sold one of our cars. We've had an offer on the other one. With Cary away, I'm wondering if I want to experiment with being car-less. I think it would be an interesting exercise - walking more, using public transport, and really thinking about if I need to go to the shops and, if I do, being efficient in doing so. I won't buy another car here, I'd wait until Cary got back as he knows cars better than I do.

Cary mentioned that it's a bit overwhelming being back in Vegas - all the traffic and people! He's gotten used to this quieter lifestyle. He is keen to get finished quickly and get back here. Nicholas still says "hi plane, hi Dad" when he sees or hears a plane fly overhead.

We've had more rain for a couple of days and I hope it passes soon. We're doing well, but it does dampen my spirits when I can't start the day with doing my sunrise yoga.

I'm letting go of the things I feel I "should" do and I am trying to enjoy the process more often. Interestingly, by doing so, I feel calmer and I am actually getting more done as it crops up instead of putting things off.

Spring is here!

I forgot to mention in the previous post that Spring officially started here on 1st September. Right on cue, we have a pair of plovers who have built a nest close to our camper. They are not the brightest birds...they build nests on the ground and are known to choose areas that are not quiet or safe. I will try to get some photos in the next few days. They are also bloody noisy. If anyone walks within coo-ee of their nest, they make an awful noise to scare them away. I have some other photos to post as well, I just haven't gotten around to downloading them.

Leaving on a jet plane...

I recently went through the bag of clothes that I had brought with me. I took out things that I don't love to wear, and things that just were not my favourites for whatever reason - the colour was just not quite the right shade or the fit was not what I really like. I was able to fit all of my clothes into a 50L plastic container. I will admit that I have a few things in storage that are just not practical to bring on this journey, like my knitted jumpers (sweaters), and some dressier types of clothes.

I sorted through the kids clothes too and now all of Sami's clothes fit into the same size container as mine, though somehow she always has more washing than the rest of us. Both boys clothes fit into one the same size as Sami's and mine. I had another 50L plastic container that had toys in it, but the kids are just not playing with them. They are so busy playing with friends and each other and on their scooters and with the birds, that they rarely look for anything else. So I took some toys back to the storage unit and put some others into a smaller container. It turns out that I needed the larger container to put the beach and bath towels in. We had just been leaving them out on a drying rack. They were drying during the day, but as the sun started going down, the afternoon sea spray would get on them and they would get damp. so now I put them away once they are dry.

I had a clever blog written in my head in the middle of the night last night, but now I can't remember any of it. Oh well.

Cary left this morning. He was sad to leave us, but looking forward to tying up some loose ends and getting some new deals happening. Hopefully it will be the last time we have an extended absence from each other. I'll miss him. Sami was crying a lot after he left, and very dramatic with it. Nicholas didn't quite understand until he saw Cary get on the plane and then saw the plane leave. He started saying "Daddy..plane..NooNoo (what he calls himself)..plane". A couple of hours later when Cary called us from Sydney before he boarded his international flight, it really hit Nicholas and he started crying a lot and saying what he'd said before. He's asked for Daddy a lot this afternoon. It's been so great that Cary has had a lot of family time this year and has been able to bond so deeply with Nicholas.

When we walked into the airport this morning, I got all excited with the idea of travel. All the places we could go! Ah yeah, I am so not ready to go back to living in a house. I'm going to take some time going through things in the storage shed and really think about if I want to pay to hang on to them, or if they could be easily replaced. I think we'll stay put here for another couple of months so that I can do that without feeling rushed. I'll put some things on ebay, some on consignment and have another garage sale.

I can't stand feeling rushed. There's been a bit of that lately, when we were getting out of the house and getting Cary organised and some other things, and I don't cope well with the stress around those times. I think it's because I am a pretty organised person and when we rush to pack and do things, I am not as thorough and things can get mixed up more easily and then I can't find things and feel like I've forgotten to do something. That's why I need to take some time now and get calm and solid with where I'm at.

Cary proposed a change in our plans recently and I flipped out a bit. A friend asked me "what do YOU want?". It took me several days of pondering this to realise that I often consider Cary and the kids and other people's opinions and needs more than my own. That's changing. I'm starting to not feel guilty about taking time for myself when I want/need to. To just sit down and bask in the sunshine. To think about what I need to do in order to be true to myself and my purpose here. What we are doing is a part of that, I just need to be more in touch with my Self more often during the smaller daily tasks and times as well as when considering major changes.

What Cary proposed is still along the same lines of what we're already doing and planning but maybe going somewhere else instead of the South Pacific next year. And some other business ideas starting right now, and, and, and.... That boy is so busy. Anyway, he has some great ideas and we will start working them in and see how we go. Never a dull moment!

Life in the great outdoors

We've had several beautiful days of sunshine and warm days. Ahh, thank you!

One of the interesting things about being in the park is watching the different campers come and go. When we first got here, there were a lot of retired people from the southern states. Most of them had fairly new campers of a similar style. Now we are seeing more families with campers like ours, some newer, some older. Recently, a huge, American-style 5th wheel was here. Two people were travelling with it. When we had that week of rain, we looked longingly at that rig, with it's 3 slide-outs, and imagined them comfy and cosy in there. But thinking about it now, it would be just like living in a little house. We never saw the people sitting outside of their place, the way people with the smaller campers do. I spend a lot of time either outside (we all do that)or in the annexe where I do our food prep and sometimes I even cook out there in the electric frypan. We have a stove and oven in the camper, but we haven't used them. If we need those things, we go to the camp kitchen which is a fun social event, and it doesn't stink up the camper. When I'm in the annexe, it feels like I'm outside (when all of the windows are rolled up), yet with the basic conveniences of inside. I like it a lot. When we choose our next camper, I want to remember how good it feels to live outside. I'd like something a little more secure, with an easier set-up (not that this is bad, it's just that the newer campers are quicker and easier to set up), and maybe a little bigger for the kids to have their individual space.

The American 5th wheel type campers and motorhomes are a rare sight on the roads here. Partially due to the cost to buy them, and the cost of fuel here and the roads here which are narrower and just not as good as in the US, despite very high taxes.

AJ has been spending a lot of time with the rainbow lorikeets. Now when we get up in the morning, they are often waiting outside our door. And they often come to visit during the day. We offered them wild bird seed but they were not interested in that. They like all kinds of bread and seemed to especially love a day-old peanut-butter & jelly sandwich. I don't know if that's the best kind of food for them, but it seems to be what they are used to from other visitors feeding them bread. We've also fed them apples which they like.

Yesterday afternoon some friends dropped by as they were riding home from school. Sami and AJ hadn't gone again. They hung out and fed the birds for a while then AJ, Nicholas and I got on our scooters (I borrowed Sami's) and we went with our friends to a local playground. Nicholas loves his scooter and he is fascinated with bikes so maybe he might be the first of my children to ride one. Sami and AJ have never been very interested in bikes, they've been content with their scooters. Yesterday Nicky carried his scooter up the slide at the playground and I had visions of this little 2 year old extreme sports star hurling down the slide like it was a ramp at a skate park. Once he got it to the top of the slide, he rode it on another little ramp at the top of the play equipment and then must have figured that riding it down the slide would have been a bit too steep for him at this point. He's a very determined litte guy though. Had to have that scooter up on the equipment.

We're going to have a lunar eclipse party tonight with some friends at a local beach. Cary and the kids researched what happens to the moon during that (the moon moves into earths shadow so there is no reflection of the sun on it to give it its brightness and it will go dark). Maybe I should pack the headlamps and flashlights.

I wonder what other adventures this day will bring?

Some photos

AJ, aka birdman, still in his PJ's, feeding bread to the rainbow lorikeets. He wakes up so excited to see the birds that he rushes over to them as soon as he's out of bed.


I forgot to mention yesterday that Sami had designed this black shirt for herself. She took a pair of scissors to a pair of track pants, cut out the crotch and rolled up the legs, um, sleeves. She often modifies her clothes in some way. It's a good thing that a lot of them come from the thrift store! Sami also spent a bit of time yesterday drawing rather complex designs. She's very critical of her drawings though and tears them up if they are not 'right' in her mind.


Sami hanging out, front of our annexe & camper. It's a good little camper for now. A newer and larger one will be nice one day though. Cary is looking into sending one over for us when he goes back to the US next week. Next week - argh, I'm going to miss him like crazy. I know the kids will too.


The back of our little home. That's Nicholas in the red shirt and our Toyota Landcruiser to the right.
Another reason we chose to start with a smaller camper is the high price of petrol here. Our 4x4 has dual fuel capacity. It takes unleaded petrol (called gas in the US) and also LPG (liquid petroleum gas, called gas here). Petrol is currently AU$5.20 / gallon and gas AU$2.40 / gallon.

I'll get some photos of inside the camper another time.

Hope you're all having a great day. The sun has been out most of today here - ahh, lovely!

Fabulous Friday

Sami & AJ skipped school today and we've had a fabulous day. They spent several hours this morning feeding the rainbow lorikeets, climbing trees and playing with other kids here. We went for walks, did some laundry, and just hung out. We sat outside when it wasn't raining and came in and watched a movie when it did rain (again!). It's been a perfectly lovely, natural living kind of a day.

I took some photos of the camper and will post them next time I'm on here.

Enough already!

After the brief spell of sunshine the other day, we've had nothing but more rain and wind. It's expected to last another day or two. Ok, so we need the rain, but a whole week of it? The local newspaper reported that on the heaviest day this past week, 107.8mm of rain fell overnight. That's over 4".

Winter is officially over here at the end of this month and then spring begins. It should be a very green one after all of this.

We chose to park our camper on a grass pad, we could have chosen a concrete one but didn't expect this much rain. When it was dry, it was so great to step out of the camper onto the grass. But now it's mud and cold water. This too, shall pass.

Before the rain, as we glided easily into this simple living lifestyle, I found myself getting more in touch with myself. I was eating a lot more fresh foods, and I was also eating less as I was living with more awareness of my actual needs. The rain and cooler weather has changed that and I have been eating more of the things that my body really does not do well with. Ah dear, I'll get back on track soon.

It's 3:30am on Friday here. I can't sleep. I'm listening to the wind soaring through the trees and the ocean pounding.

The transition to this lifestyle has been made easier because of technology. Our laptop is our DVD player and TV and the wireless internet is fabulous. The 3"x1" TV receiver that plugs in to the USB port gives us better reception than we had at our house. Another laptop would be nice so that someone can be on the internet while others watch the TV or a DVD. But it hasn't been an issue so far. When the warmer weather comes back, we probably won't even think about it as we'll be outside more often.

Sunshine!

Hip hip hooray, the sun came out today! After non-stop rain for about 4 days, we have sunshine today! Some of the rain we had was very heavy with strong winds. Our camper held up and so did we. Living this close to each other and to nature has given us a great appreciation for simple things like warm feet and blue sky and a few minutes by myself to go to the bathroom. Most campers in this park got some water in them during the heavy storm, as did we, but it wasn't bad.

I am wishing that I had just put in 4 weeks notice at the school. Sami and AJ are ready to leave. They know that they don't have to go if they don't want to, but they are choosing to still go most days. They are usually late though. I've come to see this experience as a part of our Life Learning journey. We no longer have any doubts that LL / unschooling is what is best for us. Interesting that the thing that has turned Sami off the most is the very thing that most people highlight about the school experience - the social side. She's had other children from her class teasing her about her reading. Plus, she would rather choose her friends rather than be forced to spend her free time there with kids she just doesn't connect with. I've realised that Sami really likes the rhythm of school and it gives her a sense of security. So I will work on establishing that for her here. It's hard for me though. AJ has enjoyed the social side of school, but does not like the rules.

The thing that helped me get through some of the challenging parts of the recent storm were repeating "this too, shall pass", taking the kids to the tv room and letting them just run around in circles (there were no other people in there at the time), and just being in the moment, feeling Mother Nature in her wildness. It's all good.

Wet, wavy and wild!

It's been raining for 1.5 days now, non-stop. Yesterday it was just 'rain'. Today it is 'heavy rain'. It's a good test for our camper and our patience. Actually, our patience has been doing very well, it's interesting and exciting living so close to nature.

We took about one second to get used to living in the camper and we love being outside most of the day. In the morning I take my yoga mat outside and do yoga watching the sun rise and the birds wake up. We've been spending the majority of our time outside. The campground has outdoor sinks (as well as some inside the big camp kitchen) where we like to do our dishes. It's so great to not be confined to doing things like that indoors.

Yesterday during the gentle rain, Nicholas got some of his toy motorbikes and sat on the edge of the grass playing with his toys in a nice big puddle, totally not minding that he was getting rained on, just enjoying the moment.

The day before that, one of the other visitors here, who is a hairdresser, came over to our place and gave the kids and I a haircut as we sat outside enjoying the day. The new cut together with the wet weather has given Sami and I very wavy hair. Mine feels wild and I love it!

One of the things we love about our pop-top camper is the huge windows it has. We feel so close to nature, even if we're inside. I was lying down with Nicholas today as he drifted off into his daytime nap, and I was so enjoying watching the storm outside - watching the trees dance with the wind and rain. The wild heart inside of me connected with the wild side of Mother Nature with an appreciation I've never had before. I put my hands against the canvas and felt the rain pelting down yet I stayed dry..so close, yet able to keep my little cub safe from the storm so he could sleep peacefully.

Another thing we like about the camper is the floor plan. It has a lot of seating with storage underneath as well as a sink, oven/stove, more cupboards and a little fridge. We removed the table from inside the camper as it opens it up more. We have an annexe as well which is like a huge canvas tent that attaches to the camper, effectively giving us another room. In there, we have a long camping table with a bench seat. This is where the kids have their art supplies, where we often prep our food and sometimes where we eat when we've got this rainy weather. We have a bar fridge which is about twice as big as the one in the camper that we actually don't use as a fridge as it's so small. We have another folding table that has our fruit bowl and other food stuffs stored on and under it. And under the long table are large plastic storage boxes with our clothes in them.

It's a good starter camper. It's easy and light to tow. The annexe makes it very spacious (well, for a camper that is). I'll post some photos on here when the sun comes back out. Cary is going to look into bringing a newer camper over from the US. They are sooo much cheaper there. We've been looking at ebay there to see the kind we would like. I don't know that there's any such thing as the 'perfect' camper, they all have pros and cons. It's a matter of figuring out our priorities and then going with what best meets those. As our children get older, I'm sure those priorities will change.

What's most important though, is that we remember to be ourselves - following our own interests while enjoying being a part of our family. Cary has been so calm and centered throughout this transition. His attitude of being in the Now, has been soothing during the many times when I started to panic about all that needed to be done. Sami and AJ have adjusted to this without any complaints - they see the adventure and excitement in it. Nicholas, well he's just happy as long as we're together.

Sami and AJ went back to school a few weeks ago after the winter break. As we "have to" give the school 4 weeks notice, or else pay for 4 weeks tuition, we chose to give notice of about 7 weeks, mainly so that Sami could have a decent amount of time to try the violin which they were just starting this term as well as staying here for the lovely Spring Festival at the school. Their last day will be 14 September which seems a long way off, but I'm sure it will go quickly. We're all looking forward to getting back to the Life Learning lifestyle 24/7.

Contents may settle during transit

How much do we really need? Looking at the small suitcase I brought with me, it still looks like too much. Ok, it is still winter so I have clothes for 4 seasons in there but I wonder if I could get all I need into an even smaller suitcase or storage bin.

We looked at our storage unit the other day where all the things we thought we'd like to keep are stored. I wondered "why am I keeping all this?". Of course there are some things that need to be stored like photos and special sentimental things. But do I really need to pay to store the Christmas tree I got for $5 at the local thrift store? We plan on living OTR for..well, indefinitely at this point. Holding on to the few bits of furniture - that again, were purchased 2nd hand - shows a lack of trust that good deals on nice furniture will come to us if we need them again. I wonder just how lean I could go?

I know we haven't been in this situation for very long, but in terms of our 'stuff', less is definitely better. I brought along a big box of toys for the kids and they have hardly played with any of it. They have been having much more fun playing with the other kids in the park, or at the pool, or in the games room, or feeding the rainbow lorikeets, or going for walks. I'm glad we are staying here for a bit longer so that we can fine-tune this process and figure out what we will need and use while we are OTR.

Out, In, On, Over

We are out of the house, we are in the camper, we are on the road and over the moon!

Oh my golly, it was such a massive effort to sort through our stuff, do the yard sale, pack the stuff going into storage after figuring out what's coming with us, take the stuff to the storage unit (we still have to rearrange that but it can wait a few days), get the camper set up with our stuff and then clean the house. I have no desire to do that again! Whenever we would bring things to the camper, I just did not want to go back to the house. But it's done now, with many many thanks to our good friends Tracey & Dany & Mel that came to help clean and pack and brought us dinners. Fantastic! We love you guys!

We are so ready for this. In the past, we've spoken about doing it, but we just weren't mentally ready for what it's required to take this step. We've only had 2 nights in the camper, but I love it. I love having less stuff, I love being outdoors most of the time, I love the friendly community in the caravan park - other travellers are so helpful and friendly, I love sleeping closer to nature - with just canvas walls rather than brick. The kids have adapted to it so easily - loving the playground and the pool (even though it's a bit too cold for Cary & I to swim, they don't seem to mind), meeting kids from other countries.

It will take us a little while to fine tune the process, but we are really happy about how it's going. Even though we haven't actually left the area, it feels like we're on the road as we're planning our next places to visit, and are living as we will "OTR".

Almost there..

For several weeks, I've had a knot in my belly. I think it's a mixture of excitement and concern of all that we need to do. In the past, I've moved a lot. I've always looked forward to the move and enjoyed the excitement of a new home / town / state/ country. I have not been enjoying this process as much as usual, but that's probably because it's really not that long ago that we had the major move here, but I am excited about what's coming up.

We are all looking forward to going back to homeschooling, living simply and on the road.

Cary has mellowed so much since he's been here. He needed a good long break after hardly ever taking a break back in the US. He is so calm and connected to the children and I. He really "gets" the Life Learning approach we take to homeschooling! It's great to see him getting more connected to himself too.

Sami (9.5yrs) is more sure of the things that really interest her, rather than doing things because others are doing them. She's more aware of her strengths and other areas she'd like to work on. After I read the last Harry Potter book within a few days, she decided it was time to read all the HP books. So we're reading them together. She's keen to watch each movie after finishing a book and is already talking about things in the first book that are not in the first movie (that she hasn't seen for over a year).

A lot of people have been mentioning that AJ (6 yrs) seems to be maturing - he's definately moving into a new stage. He's still goofy and rowdy and playful, but his gentleness is shown more often and he seems calmer within himself. He has a very active imagination and still loves books about the real world - how things work, why things are the way they are, what causes things in nature etc.

When Nicholas was still in utero, a healer / psychic told me that he was an Indigo child. I think that they were right. He has a very strong opinion and voices that. When he makes his mind up to do something, he is full of determination. Like potty training himself at 21 months - day and most nights. His speech is having a major breakthrough at the moment and new words come through several times a day. He is always concerned when someone hurts themself and he will go to them and put his hands on them. He often reads my mind and says something just after I've thought it. Other people are drawn to him like a magnet. He's almost 26 months old.

For me, I've found it very helpful to read blogs and stories of other real, unschooling families. The love and inspiration that I still feel from members of the LVLL group that we left in the US helps so much, as does the friendship and support from the friends we've made since we've been here. We are so blessed to have such good friends here and there.
Thank you!

Phase One complete

Or is it more like Phase 101? We had a yard sale yesterday. I was not looking forward to it. Back in the US, I used to enjoy having a yard sale, but this time, I was just tired and tired of it. Once it got going, I was ok and we did get rid of a lot of stuff. Cary is amazed by how much stuff we've accumulated in the 10 months we've been here. All the kind of stuff it takes to make a home function - some tables, clothes, toys, books, chairs etc.

This coming week we have to finish packing up what's left in the house and put it into our storage unit. We still have to do a few things to the camper to get it ready and then clean this house. Within 2 weeks, it will all be done and then we need to get Cary ready for his trip back to the USA.

I trying to get back into the moment - being present. But there is so much going on, I'm finding it rather challenging. I'm feeling a bit scattered and overwhelmed. ..Breathe deep, seek Peace. .. I get so caught up in all the details that I forget the most important detail - to take care of myself in the process, to take time out to really be in the moment, to play and laugh and be silly instead of serious and buzzing about trying to get everything done. To not neglect the rest of my family and to find creative ways the kids could help. To actually accept help from them and others who offer.

What still needs to be done will get done whether I'm stressed or relaxed about it. It will be a lot more fun if I can just relax. I might save myself a few wrinkles in the process!

Home?

My sister and her family have lived in their home for 15 years. I've lived in at least a dozen places in that time. And here we are, preparing another move. The idea of moving into a camper sounded so exciting and adventurous. The fact is that it is that, but I'm also a bit nervous about it. Not really having a permanent place to call "home". Have I really had that for a while? Where is home? Parts of me say Australia, but where exactly here? I've travelled around and lived in so many places. There are bits of my heart in all of them. And certainly the same could be said about the US. I still feel a connection to the country I lived in for 12.5 years and especially the places where my children were born, where we all learned and grew so much and where we still have good friends and family.

I think I've learned to live without a strong attachment to the idea of "home". It's only when I hear other people mention things that relate to that, that I realise it's something that is not really present in my life. Not deeply. Maybe if I lived somewhere where I could plant a vege garden and hang all of my pictures on the wall. And have animals (I miss that the most). Maybe that would give me the feeling of roots that a real home gives.

Until then, I'll keep spreading my wings and keep comfort that, for our family, home is where the heart is. So while we're all together and following our dreams for adventure, we are strong and we free and we are a group of 5 individuals, all blooming in our own way.

The Invitation

I'm re-reading "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. It's a book that inspires the reader to live fully. Parts of the actual Invitation:


"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.


It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.


...I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.


...I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.


...I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself..


...I want to know if you can live with failure..and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"


...It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. ..."

There's more, but these bits just jumped out at me in this moment so perhaps I need to consider them.

I ache to live fully. I've been a fool, many times and am ok about the possibility of being so again. I'm still open. I'd like to be even more wild. I have a very hard time disappointing those closest to me in order to be true to myself. I've done it though. I've had many failures which I prefer to think of as lessons. They may knock me down for a short while, but it doesn't take me long to get going again. What sustains me? Love, the stillness (Peace) deep within when I remember to get in touch with it, Adventure, Faith in the grand plan and the Creator of that.

Maybe from this, I can figure out what it actually means to me when I say that I want to live a full life. If I only had a few months left to live, how would I live? Is that what living fully means? To live as if we were going to die? (No, because that could put the emphasis in the wrong place. Besides, we're all going to die sometime - that needs to be accepted as a normal part of life.) What would I eat? (Only the freshest, organic fruits and veges, a little freshly baked bread or baked sweet potato and a little chocolate!) Where would I go? (To the tropics, wherever it was dry season. I simply cannot stand to be cold.) What would I do? (Spend time with my husband and children, family and friends - playing, swimming, reading aloud, cuddling, telling silly stories. I'd also do more Reiki and yoga and be more vocal about living simply and gently. Maybe I'd write more too.) I think the most important part would be that I would find it easier to live in the moment, to be fully present and to appreciate all of the beauty and joy in ordinary moments.

Hmm..that was an interesting little exercise. I've often said that I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of not living a full life. It looks like I need to work on being true to myself, even when others don't approve, to risk possible conflict instead of always trying to be the Peacemaker. To take time to get in touch with myself to Know and Be still and absolutely in touch with what it is I really feel and want. To be more vocal about my beliefs, needs and desires. I have been working on removing a block in my throat chakra and I believe it's working! To remember to be here now. I feel so good when I can stay in the moment, everything seems possible...and it is!

Sunshine Sunday

Last Thursday morning, we packed up some things, loaded up the car and took a 5 hour drive to the Gold Coast. I was surprised by how uncomfortable I felt there. It's like a mini Las Vegas with traffic, lots of strip malls, big shopping areas, huge theme parks, tons of people, billboards and did I mention the traffic? The area we currently live is so much quieter and I have gotten used to that. I find it more soothing. I was a bit overwhelmed there. In the afternoon, we looked at a pop-up camper that we had seen advertised for sale and was our main reason for taking the trek. It seemed to have everything we were looking for so we did a deal. In my haste to get a camper so we could move on with all the things we need to do before Cary leaves for the US, I ignored my instincts that were telling me to slow down. I hate it when I do that. I feel like I let myself down by not Trusting my true self and letting my physical self run the show. I'm still working on the Trust lesson. I'm not positive we got the right camper or the best deal, but it's done and we need to make the best of it.

The next day we towed the camper 2 hours north to the Sunshine Coast where we had a lot of trouble finding a vacancy. We hadn't counted on all of the snowbirds to fill the van parks for the winter. We did eventually find a spot right next to a beach. It was too cold to swim, but nice to play on the white sand and watch the beautiful waves. The camper was easy to tow and easy to set up. I feel a little bothered because the very-nice-older-man that we bought the thing from assured us that "everything works" and the fridge did not work, and the table did not go down nicely to make another bed. We should have checked those things. But it was solid during the windy night we had and we did all sleep comfortably. It has a lot of good points and we will be able to fix a few things on it to make it even better.

We spent two days on the Sunshine Coast, looking for the place we want to park the camper when we go back up there and just having another look around. We all liked a RV park (called caravan parks in Oz) with a patrolled beach on one side, Underwater World on the other, and walking distance to fabulous cafes, restaurants and shops as well as a decent amount of shade.

While we were driving up and back, Sami, AJ & I watched some DVD's while Nicholas played, drew, ate and slept (though not much of that). In one of the Harry Potter movies we watched, Dumbledore says to Harry something about choosing between what's right or what's easy. I thought about that in regard to what is coming up for us. It would be so easy to just stay where we are, doing what we are doing. But it just feels right to break out of that and do what we're about to do. But it is challenging some of my comfortable, easy, notions. Like security and trust that I've mentioned before. I've had to change some of my internal dialogue in order to get my head around some things. We've decided not to go crazy and sell practically everything, but to store it and just see how this adventure goes. We can always sell it later, or use it whenever we are ready to move back into a house. This way it feels more like we're going on vacation rather than moving in to a camper. Even though I imagined myself more like a free-spirited-gypsy doing that, Cary's not thrilled with the deal as we could have bought the same thing back in the US for 1/6th of the price. But that's the way things are here. He's looking forward to the adventure, he's just had enough of the high cost of things here.

After 3 weeks of school holidays, the kids go back to school tomorrow. Sami said she does not want to go and that she wants to homeschool again. Though she is looking forward to starting violin which they will do tomorrow. Once she's at school, she seems to enjoy it so I think she won't mind the next month or so there before we get on the road. I think we'll spend a few weeks visiting family and friends before heading back up to the Sunshine Coast and getting to know the natural learners group there. I hope they are as great as the LifeLearners group we left back in Vegas.

Simply Trust

Years ago, in an article on simply living, I read that most people only use 20% of the stuff in their homes, 80% of the time. Or maybe it was even less, like 15% of the stuff. In contemplating our next step, I'm wondering how much (how little) stuff I can honestly live with. How much will it take to function easily, to live happily? I've been thinking about the things I will miss about living in a house...at first I thought of all of the storage cupboards in a house. Then I thought about all of the things in those cupboards that really don't get used, like the food processor I've used twice because it doesn't seem to take any longer to chop things by hand when you consider the time it takes to set the thing up, use it and clean it. A well-stocked pantry, but I really only use 20% of the stuff in there. It would be a good challenge for me to plan our meals so much better that we only buy what we will actually use. What else will I miss? The space in the house where the kids can run up and down the hall? No,- compared to the space of the great outdoors that's not a consideration, except maybe in rainy weather when we could find a museum or library to go to anyway. Hot running water? - yes, that would be nice but it won't take long to boil water for doing the dishes. A bathtub? - yeah, but not really necessary if we're swimming in the ocean or river most days.

I could not find any "thing" that I would actually miss about living in a house. (And I certainly won't miss the cleaning or the bills!) So I looked a bit deeper. What feeling does a house give me? .. A sense of security. This is the one niggling little point that has been in the back of my mind, making me just a tad uncomfortable. This adventure is challenging that notion, but it's good. The fact that this house is made of bricks and I can lock it up makes me feel that we are safe and so is our stuff. Are we really? Anyone could easily break in through a window. That kind of thing is very rare in this area though. But when we're travelling, would the threat of crime be different?

After hours of research and phone calls, we decided to buy a little pop-up camper. We drove an hour away to look at one that sounded good, liked it, decided to buy it and negotiated a price. The owner agreed and, as it was Sunday about 3pm, we said we would meet on Monday morning after going to the bank. He called us about 8am on Monday morning to say that he'd already sold it for more money. We were PO'd! He'd given us his word. He should have had the decency of at least letting us match the offer. Anyway, it wasn't meant to be and perhaps he did us a favour. We started reconsidering the whole camper idea and thought maybe we should just do a tent for a while. We'll still keep our eyes open for a camper, and if it's meant to be, there will be one. Otherwise, we'll do a big tent until Cary can have a very nice camper sent over from the USA.

Would I feel more secure in a camper because we can lock it up? Am I kidding myself? Would I be concerned about someone stealing our stuff out of a tent that can't be locked up? Am I showing a complete lack of Trust in God and my fellow man? ...Oh, maybe that's my lesson for today - Trust.

Most of our personal stuff will be in storage until we are ready to go back to living in a house where we can again have our photo albums in a closet where they rarely get looked at, and the boxes of sentimental things sitting in the garage collecting dust, but can also have some of our pretty, special things decorating the home, reminding us of friends we've known and places we've been. In the meantime, things with a high personal value, should be 'safe' in storage.

So I come around again to wondering just how much or how little we can live with, especially if it's in a tent. Considering the needs of two adults and 3 children - clothing, cooking, toys etc. I need to keep it simple and I won't take anything that can't be easily replaced. I need to release the attachment to the things we do take, or it could attract the very situation I am currently concerned about.

I trust that I can do it!

dolphins!

The children and I love to go for walks to the headland near us. We walk from here, past the creek, over the bridge, through the bush...when we get to the top, the bush clears and the sight of the ocean always takes my breath away, it just looks more beautiful each time..we stroll along the headland until we are to the top, spend a little time looking for dolphins and whales and watching the surfers, and then stroll back, go down the side of the headland and walk along the rocks and beach until we get back to the little bridge across the creek again. Round trip takes at least an hour. Often when we get to the top, I try very hard to see dolphins and whales and usually end up disappointed when I don't see any. It's been a while since I did see any. But yesterday, a couple of amazing things happened when we went there.

For the first time, Nicholas actually walked almost all the way there. Previously, he had always insisted that I carry him from the time we got across the bridge, up through the bush and down the headland until we got to the beach when he would walk again. Carrying an extra 30lbs up hill was quite a good workout! Yesterday he only wanted me to pick him up once when some other people passed us. The rest of the time he held my hand and walked there. He is getting more independent all the time. We often go to the beach with friends after lunch. Cary and some of his friends go surfing while the kids explore the rocks or run up and down the sand dunes or dig or just play the free way kids do. Nicholas is joining in on a lot of that now and it's beautiful to watch the other children helping him when he needs it.

But the other amazing thing that happened yesterday was the dolphins! I was really enjoying the walk with the children. I was totally in the moment, feeling full of life and love. When I got to the top of the bush where is cleared and I saw the ocean, I decided that it didn't matter if I saw a dolphin or whale. I knew that they were out there - I could feel their energy and it was all good. We sat at the end of the headland just enjoying watching the water and feeling the sun. Sami was writing and drawing in her journal while both boys were sitting on my lap enjoying a cuddle. Then I saw two fins which soon became 3..5..8...10! There were at least 10 dolphins right down in front of us. We watched totally delighted as they played in the waves and swam back and forth directly in front of where we were sitting. What a gift!

When I released my attachment to having to see dolphins, they were there, and in a pod bigger than I would have hoped for. Gods delays and not Gods denials.

I've seen 'The Secret' and know about the law of attraction, it's just so great to have the lesson presented again in such a way as this.

New Name

I have been thinking about what I have written in the description of the blog "..to live fully..". Am I doing that? Can I really do that with our current way of life? What do I need to do to really live fully - what do I really want to experience? What kind of life do I want for my children?

My children have a book called "We were tired of living in a house.." and you know what, so am I! I'm tired of insulating myself with the distractions that come with maintaining a house. Yes, it's also a home but I feel like I spend too much time keeping that home "homely" that I don't spend enough time enjoying the things that really make this place a home - my family. There are other distractions around me and within me that I am working on clearing also. Things that have kept me from really getting involved in creating a better world.

So, in honour of the many breakthroughs I've been having lately, I've renamed this blog "free spirit life" which is the blogger address anyway so I guess it's been brewing in me for a long time. I've removed the border around the title to signify the removal of borders in my mind.

You can expect more blogging from me on simple & conscientious living, natural learning, travel, natural health & healing, indigo kids and more. Oh the places we'll go! Woo hoo!

Ok, because I can't wait anymore, I just have to tell you...here's the plan: We are going to buy and move into a camper within the next month. We will put some things like photos, papers, some books and special things etc into storage. The kids will have one more month at school only because Sami is about to start violin and she really, really wants to do that. (It turns out she has "an exceptional talent" for music according to her teacher. She also loves learning new languages. Interesting that her name actually means "listener" so I guess she has an ear for that kind of thing.) Plus we need some time to wrap everything up here. Then Cary is leaving for the US to wrap things up there while I head off to the Sunshine Coast with the kids to meet up with the big Natural Learners homeschooling group there and enjoy some slightly warmer weather, better fruit and connecting and playing and living more fully, deeply. Early next year we are going to spend at least 6 months in the islands of the South Pacific, starting with Vanuatu. Our children will see how the people there can live so simply and joyfully, they'll see real volcanoes, go snorkeling in the crystal clear water, and play with children from a completely different culture. They are really excited and so are we. This feels so right, like we are really on the path of living fully. I know that it's a process and not a destination. I know I still have a lot to learn and I am ready! I am ready to get back on the road less travelled and my heart is full!

Busting!

I am just busting with excitement! We have a great plan in motion. I won't go into it just yet. In the past when I've gotten all excited and told the world what we're going to do, the momentum seemed to stop and the plan flopped. Maybe it was meant to. It's all ok. I'll reveal all soon!

As it's been getting easier for me to simplify the material stuff around me, I found myself wondering just how "simple" could I make my life? Could I live in a cabin? A camper? A tent? If so, for how long? How much space do I need to put my material stuff in? Just how much stuff do I really, really need/want? And how much stuff do the other members of my family need/want? With less stuff around us, would we actually go out and just live more fully - enjoy the natural world around us, connect with each other even more, meet new friends, lie on the grass and watch the stars, etc (things we already do, but would we do them even more because we could and we weren't inside cleaning and tidying and being absorbed by the material stuff)? I believe we would. I think our living space would become the great outdoors and the house base, if it were much smaller, would become mostly a functional eating/sleeping space with just enough familiar things for the comfort and fun of home. Fun as in games, toys, craft supplies, movies.

How easy would the adjustment be to let go of the idea of having all these rooms around us? Am I so conditioned to having them that I would panic when living without them for too long? I've been exploring this from many angles. Maybe I'll just have to try it to find out for sure.

Hello again

We haven't had the internet on at home for a while. There's a lot of uncertainty about our future here. We were offered a chance to get out of the internet contract we were in, so we did. I have just reconnected with a new provider which does not require a contract, but it is dial-up. That's ok. It's making my online time more efficient.

Australia is a beautiful, wonderful place. It's very easy to live here socially, spiritually, emotionally. But financially, it's tough. High taxes, all kinds of extra fees, regulations, licences. How can we put a price on the peace of heart that we have found here? We know that change is coming, we're just not sure what it's going to be. That kind of uncertainty has been a regular visitor in our lives. I'm learning how to manage it. Being present and enjoying the moments as they unfold is part of it. Being open, accepting the impermanence of life and situations also helps.

Recently I reached a turning point in my Self. I found a deep inner Peace. A friend lent me "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle which confirmed a lot of what I already felt and also gave me some tools to take that deeper. Like "Watch the Thinker" which I find stills my mind when it starts getting into some old patterns. From that book, I love this quote by Marcus Aurelius: "Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?" (I'm sure my unschooling friends agree.)

I am easily doing a deeper cleanse of material stuff. I came across some papers and things from my youth. I no longer feel any need to keep them. I'm going to have a ceremonial fire when I've finished gathering them together. Other things I'm coming across I'm easily letting go of if I have no need for them. I feel totally ok with everything I have gotten rid of in the past and now. I really, really like having less 'stuff' around me. It's nice to walk into the garage and not see a mountain of boxes, just lots of light. That's how I'm feeling - lighter - in weight and vibration. I like it.