for we are young and free...
It is Australia Day here today. One of the great things about being near a big city is that there are lots of options in how we choose to celebrate today.
As the schools get ready to start a new year in a couple of days, we are rejoicing in our freedom. We've decided not to move to the other area further north. There is so much happening in the homeschooling world right here. There are more opportunities for business, and we haven't finished exploring all that the city has to offer.
We should be able to move into our new caravan next week, depending on what is involved in getting all the paperwork right on this end. We know we have to switch some things like lights over from the US style to the aussie standard.
Recently we were a bit frustrated with this type of living and had doubts about how we wanted to live. Things have become clearer, we have mapped out a bit of a plan and have made contact with several homeschooling groups in the area. There are a ton of different groups and we are going to start going to some of them to see which fits us best.
The weather is beautiful. Most days we get a little shower, but not the constant rain like it was.
Life is great!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Creating
The teachings of Abraham (& others it's just that I'm still reading A books), tells us that we are totally in control of creating our own reality. Our thoughts are so powerful and our feelings are the guide posts as to whether we are in alignment with our true desires. (Conversations with God talks about this too so it's interesting that the books I've read back-to-back have all had the same message...am I getting it yet?!)
I wish I had known this when I was young. Why don't they teach this kind of information in schools? Because they want to keep us dumbed down? Teaching people what to think instead of how to think?
If someone had told me that my feelings were so important to my journey here, then I would never have thought I was crazy, or too emotional, or too sensitive. I would never have thought that "there must be something wrong with me". I would have spent a lot less time hiding my feelings in habits and relationships that supported the negative image of myself that I'd been led to think was true.
Luckily though, my inner/higher self is strong and persistent and led me to the right books and teachers to help me through the fog. The glimpses that I'd had all of my life into the reality that I'd been taught, through societies conditionings, was 'wrong', turns out to be what is right for me! I used to feel like I just didn't belong here, like an outsider looking in, like an adopted child from another planet.
For years I'd heard that your thoughts help create your reality. Yes, that's very nice and ok, I did the affirmations and visualisations and got pretty good at manifesting things in my life. But knowing how important the feelings are in directing the true desires just takes everything deeper and I feel like I've (finally) been given permission - and wow, even encouraged! - to honour my feelings. I feel so free!!!!
I wish I had known this when I was young. Why don't they teach this kind of information in schools? Because they want to keep us dumbed down? Teaching people what to think instead of how to think?
If someone had told me that my feelings were so important to my journey here, then I would never have thought I was crazy, or too emotional, or too sensitive. I would never have thought that "there must be something wrong with me". I would have spent a lot less time hiding my feelings in habits and relationships that supported the negative image of myself that I'd been led to think was true.
Luckily though, my inner/higher self is strong and persistent and led me to the right books and teachers to help me through the fog. The glimpses that I'd had all of my life into the reality that I'd been taught, through societies conditionings, was 'wrong', turns out to be what is right for me! I used to feel like I just didn't belong here, like an outsider looking in, like an adopted child from another planet.
For years I'd heard that your thoughts help create your reality. Yes, that's very nice and ok, I did the affirmations and visualisations and got pretty good at manifesting things in my life. But knowing how important the feelings are in directing the true desires just takes everything deeper and I feel like I've (finally) been given permission - and wow, even encouraged! - to honour my feelings. I feel so free!!!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
pondering our new direction
We are on the cusp of a new direction. Many options. We've been driving around all weekend looking for a new location and housing. An area we'd recently thought would be "it" was just not giving us the right vibe. We did not find suitable housing there, but Cary and the kids did find good pizza! Another place that I have loved for many years, is again looking promising. We've narrowed down the specific area we want to be within that larger area.
Cary will be going back to the USA next month. I'm aware of a time crunch to move again but I'm trying really hard not to be impatient and force things to happen. So I'm trying to get out of my head and back to my senses where life flows and all that we need is provided.
This is a stage of this type of living that is challenging. The moving (again), finding new friends, new fruit markets, new playgrounds. Yes, it's exciting. But sometimes I envy people who are perfectly content with living in the same house for 20+ years. There is definitely something to that - the security and stability. We are aiming to provide those things for our children with our love and some simple rhythms. Perhaps this is helping our children to learn to be flexible and adapt to new situations more easily. Yeah, they certainly do that well. I think I'm getting closer to being able to stay in one place for a very long time, but I'm just not there yet.
I think of the houses we had back in Vegas and the abundance of cool toys the kids had. The great friends. Especially the friends. But even people come and go, as did the houses and the toys. Here we are sleeping in a very small camper but with such a feeling of open-ness when we step outside. No big walls, no major housework, no utility bills, very few toys (but enough) and a constant stream of new friends. I think all of the rain we've had recently has caused us to question this lifestyle at the moment. I do not want to give up those freedoms for the ties of a house. But I also want some more space when we are inside due to rain or night time.
Ah...decisions...
Cary will be going back to the USA next month. I'm aware of a time crunch to move again but I'm trying really hard not to be impatient and force things to happen. So I'm trying to get out of my head and back to my senses where life flows and all that we need is provided.
This is a stage of this type of living that is challenging. The moving (again), finding new friends, new fruit markets, new playgrounds. Yes, it's exciting. But sometimes I envy people who are perfectly content with living in the same house for 20+ years. There is definitely something to that - the security and stability. We are aiming to provide those things for our children with our love and some simple rhythms. Perhaps this is helping our children to learn to be flexible and adapt to new situations more easily. Yeah, they certainly do that well. I think I'm getting closer to being able to stay in one place for a very long time, but I'm just not there yet.
I think of the houses we had back in Vegas and the abundance of cool toys the kids had. The great friends. Especially the friends. But even people come and go, as did the houses and the toys. Here we are sleeping in a very small camper but with such a feeling of open-ness when we step outside. No big walls, no major housework, no utility bills, very few toys (but enough) and a constant stream of new friends. I think all of the rain we've had recently has caused us to question this lifestyle at the moment. I do not want to give up those freedoms for the ties of a house. But I also want some more space when we are inside due to rain or night time.
Ah...decisions...
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
finding Balance (again)
The sun shone most of the day yesterday. We went swimming several times. Ran into some friends from the area we used to live. What a surprise to find that they are staying in the same caravan park as us! Had fun playing with old and new friends. I ate more fresh foods and fewer grains. Wondered what was niggling at me and realised it was a bunch of little jobs that I had set for myself and just not gotten around to as we've been too busy moving, looking for the next place to move to, dealing with the rain, etc. So I made a start of some of those projects and it felt good. Went out for a yummy mexican dinner with the family. The afternoon was much cooler and we enjoyed a long walk when we got home. Focused on where we are, the beauty, the grass around our camper that is littered with frangipani flowers, the birds and the spirited people I live with.
Woke up feeling great again. Did some yoga and dressed in a pretty skirt. Feeling sensual and wild. Feels gooooood....
Woke up feeling great again. Did some yoga and dressed in a pretty skirt. Feeling sensual and wild. Feels gooooood....
Monday, January 07, 2008
roller coaster
It has rained every day here for over 2 weeks. Sometimes all day, sometimes just a brief shower. But now the real summer feels like it is here. Hot and humid. It never used to bother me like it is now. That's probably because I'm focused on how the rest of the family is coping with the heat. Sami does not do well in it at all. Cary used to not do well but has adapted really well. The boys don't complain, but they just don't have a lot of energy at times. I'm not enjoying the summer like I used to. If we can get right next to the beach again then we'll get the cool sea breezes which would be nice.
I've been reading 'The Law of Attraction' by Esther and Jerry Hicks (& Abraham). I am having trouble applying it though. Living like this is not a holiday. A lot of people think it is. It is constant work just keeping the kids amused, the place clean, shopping (we have less space to store food so we have to shop more often), washing etc. The lack of space is really bothering me as is the lack of personal time. I'm trying to turn things around and focus on what's great right now and also think of the way I want things to be. Sometimes it's easier than others.
We're all healthy, our caravan keeps us dry, we have plenty of food and water, we have a lovely pool to swim in and we've made nice new friends here. Our cars get us around well. We have movies and internet and computer games and books and toys. We really are blessed and it's just getting better. We've have an abundance of good things including each other. So me, get over yourself and en-JOY this moment.
I guess it goes back to experiencing the things we don't want to really find out and get such a clear picture about the things we do want.
I've been reading 'The Law of Attraction' by Esther and Jerry Hicks (& Abraham). I am having trouble applying it though. Living like this is not a holiday. A lot of people think it is. It is constant work just keeping the kids amused, the place clean, shopping (we have less space to store food so we have to shop more often), washing etc. The lack of space is really bothering me as is the lack of personal time. I'm trying to turn things around and focus on what's great right now and also think of the way I want things to be. Sometimes it's easier than others.
We're all healthy, our caravan keeps us dry, we have plenty of food and water, we have a lovely pool to swim in and we've made nice new friends here. Our cars get us around well. We have movies and internet and computer games and books and toys. We really are blessed and it's just getting better. We've have an abundance of good things including each other. So me, get over yourself and en-JOY this moment.
I guess it goes back to experiencing the things we don't want to really find out and get such a clear picture about the things we do want.
Friday, January 04, 2008
photos
At the caravan park on Bribie Island, Queensland, Christmas Eve. AJ was soooo excited because Santa came to visit - riding in the back of the little white pick up truck coming down the road behind him, all dressed in the red suit while the other people with him throwing candy out to the kids were dressed in shorts and t-shirts.
AJ got to talk to the jolly man. I have never either encouraged nor discouraged the whole Santa concept, I've kind of just left it up to the kids to ask questions if they wanted more info. This past Christmas, Sami asked me if I thought Santa was real. I told her I thought that Santa represented the spirit of christmas which was definitely real. She didn't ask any more questions but I could see her trying to figure it out. I let her know that I'd be happy to talk with her more but I think she wanted to believe in the magic for one more year.
AJ lost another tooth and was very excited! It's the 5th one he's lost.
Mr nature photographer, AJ, has taken probably 100 photos of his favourite birds. He has a knack of attracting them and has a lot of patience when doing so.
Monday, December 31, 2007
31 Dec 07
At 11:30pm on this day, 14 years ago, my destiny completely turned around when I met Cary at a street party on the island in the Great Barrier Reef where I was living and he was enjoying a vacation. Wow, what a journey it has been. It just keeps getting better.
Speaking of journeys, this particular phase feels like it's coming to a new chapter.
The showers we were experiencing turned into a whole bunch of rain and high winds with a cyclone further up the coast. We did not feel comfortable going to the other side of the island and getting pounded on there as the cyclone came closer. Before we took the weather into account, we went to look at the other park and just did not get a good feel about it. It was supposed to be a 4 star park, but it sure didn't feel like that. It had a very old feel about it and just felt weird. I had a look in the ladies bathroom and with the way the tiles were, it looked like the floor was moving. The lady at reception was not very helpful and told us that we could not check in until 12 noon on the day that we were due to arrive, but she did not tell us that the office was closed from 12 - 1pm for her lunch. After pondering the weird feelings we got while we were there, and considering the coming bad weather, we decided to move slightly south west, about 12 km from the city of Brisbane to a 4.5 star park. We realised that a lot of Aussies like to go to the coast during the summer so we'd do the opposite and go to the city. We're going to check out the science center, planetarium and museums and other attractions of the big city.
Observations so far: yes, this is a nice park, but it also feels a bit sterile, or impersonal. People (generally speaking) seem more concerned with themselves and are just not as friendly and open. We visited a huge shopping mall nearby which was about the largest mall I've ever been to. It interesting to people watch the amazing melting pot of races and faces. Not many people looked happy as they rushed about, focused on their own lives. When driving here, I was excited to visit the big city, where I used to live, again. But driving here, getting lost after being given the wrong directions, looking at all of the traffic and just feeling the less friendly energy, I'm glad that we will be leaving in another 2 weeks. I plan on enjoying the time we have here, but I'm glad we know our departure date.
Sometimes, to figure out what we want, we need to experience the things that we do not want.
Packing up this caravan and setting up again several times recently has proven to us that we do not want to continue with this type of caravan. It is just too small. We've been questioning our purpose with this whole exercise. I feel we've learned a lot about simple living and enjoying life and the outdoors and each other. Travelling has been nice, but we are longing for a home base to know we can return to. We'd all like to go back to a house for a while. For some dry space during all the wet weather we've had, for individual privacy and just more personal space. Just a little house, on a large lot of land so we can still be outside a lot when it's nice weather. For a few months. Cary is returning to the USA mid Feb and will look into sending over a larger caravan (trailer) for us. We'd like to do a little more touring until we find "the" spot we want to be. We can imagine living in the caravan for a while as we look for some land to settle on and business opportunities to get into.
Interesting how when we think we're on the right track, another possibility comes to mind that needs exploring. In the process of evolving and creating who-we-really-are, we are paying more attention to our own feelings, intuitions and signs around us. We are waking up, becoming more aware, more connected to Source and each other.
We are looking forward to a calmer year ahead, filled with new adventures and amazing personal growth.
We wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness and all the good things you wish for yourself.
namaste
Speaking of journeys, this particular phase feels like it's coming to a new chapter.
The showers we were experiencing turned into a whole bunch of rain and high winds with a cyclone further up the coast. We did not feel comfortable going to the other side of the island and getting pounded on there as the cyclone came closer. Before we took the weather into account, we went to look at the other park and just did not get a good feel about it. It was supposed to be a 4 star park, but it sure didn't feel like that. It had a very old feel about it and just felt weird. I had a look in the ladies bathroom and with the way the tiles were, it looked like the floor was moving. The lady at reception was not very helpful and told us that we could not check in until 12 noon on the day that we were due to arrive, but she did not tell us that the office was closed from 12 - 1pm for her lunch. After pondering the weird feelings we got while we were there, and considering the coming bad weather, we decided to move slightly south west, about 12 km from the city of Brisbane to a 4.5 star park. We realised that a lot of Aussies like to go to the coast during the summer so we'd do the opposite and go to the city. We're going to check out the science center, planetarium and museums and other attractions of the big city.
Observations so far: yes, this is a nice park, but it also feels a bit sterile, or impersonal. People (generally speaking) seem more concerned with themselves and are just not as friendly and open. We visited a huge shopping mall nearby which was about the largest mall I've ever been to. It interesting to people watch the amazing melting pot of races and faces. Not many people looked happy as they rushed about, focused on their own lives. When driving here, I was excited to visit the big city, where I used to live, again. But driving here, getting lost after being given the wrong directions, looking at all of the traffic and just feeling the less friendly energy, I'm glad that we will be leaving in another 2 weeks. I plan on enjoying the time we have here, but I'm glad we know our departure date.
Sometimes, to figure out what we want, we need to experience the things that we do not want.
Packing up this caravan and setting up again several times recently has proven to us that we do not want to continue with this type of caravan. It is just too small. We've been questioning our purpose with this whole exercise. I feel we've learned a lot about simple living and enjoying life and the outdoors and each other. Travelling has been nice, but we are longing for a home base to know we can return to. We'd all like to go back to a house for a while. For some dry space during all the wet weather we've had, for individual privacy and just more personal space. Just a little house, on a large lot of land so we can still be outside a lot when it's nice weather. For a few months. Cary is returning to the USA mid Feb and will look into sending over a larger caravan (trailer) for us. We'd like to do a little more touring until we find "the" spot we want to be. We can imagine living in the caravan for a while as we look for some land to settle on and business opportunities to get into.
Interesting how when we think we're on the right track, another possibility comes to mind that needs exploring. In the process of evolving and creating who-we-really-are, we are paying more attention to our own feelings, intuitions and signs around us. We are waking up, becoming more aware, more connected to Source and each other.
We are looking forward to a calmer year ahead, filled with new adventures and amazing personal growth.
We wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness and all the good things you wish for yourself.
namaste
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Dec 27 07
Australians love the great outdoors. Cary is amazed by the large number of campgrounds and how packed they all are at this time of the year. Family groups gather together and help with meals and the children after spending the day enjoying the simple pleasures of playing on the beach, going for walks and sitting around chatting while the kids play with cousins and new friends.
This new campground that we are at is a bit different from the last one. The other one had a beautiful pool, fabulous camp kitchen, kids playground, modern amenities and the sites were larger. This one is a lot more basic, but the people here are all so friendly. We are across the road from a river with lovely white sandy beaches. In a few days we're moving to the other side of the island and will be a block away from the surf beach. I thought I'd be glad to move, but I actually think I'll miss this quiet, close community. The kids have made a ton of new friends. On christmas, a lot of the other kids were given Nintendo DS's. In the afternoon, they discovered they could message each other. Sami and AJ took their DS's over and soon they were figuring out how far away they could all be and still get the messages. They just had a great time. They've also all been riding their scooters a lot around the park. They haven't missed having a playground and a pool here as they have found other things to do. The weather has been good, not hot, just really pleasant with some showers keeping things cool and fresh.
Our christmas was nice and simple. We went to my brother's houseboat for lunch and spent the afternoon playing on the beach and at the playground up the road. With all of the kids in the park, I did not hear any of them say to any others "what did you get?". They all just seemed to enjoy what they had and it was not a competition of who got the best stuff. Nice.
Even though we had a simple, stress-free, joyful christmas, there was something niggling at me that was missing. It seemed to lack depth. I think we can fill that next year by getting involved in some kind of community service project to help others.
Hope y'all are enjoying basking in the post-Christmas glow.
This new campground that we are at is a bit different from the last one. The other one had a beautiful pool, fabulous camp kitchen, kids playground, modern amenities and the sites were larger. This one is a lot more basic, but the people here are all so friendly. We are across the road from a river with lovely white sandy beaches. In a few days we're moving to the other side of the island and will be a block away from the surf beach. I thought I'd be glad to move, but I actually think I'll miss this quiet, close community. The kids have made a ton of new friends. On christmas, a lot of the other kids were given Nintendo DS's. In the afternoon, they discovered they could message each other. Sami and AJ took their DS's over and soon they were figuring out how far away they could all be and still get the messages. They just had a great time. They've also all been riding their scooters a lot around the park. They haven't missed having a playground and a pool here as they have found other things to do. The weather has been good, not hot, just really pleasant with some showers keeping things cool and fresh.
Our christmas was nice and simple. We went to my brother's houseboat for lunch and spent the afternoon playing on the beach and at the playground up the road. With all of the kids in the park, I did not hear any of them say to any others "what did you get?". They all just seemed to enjoy what they had and it was not a competition of who got the best stuff. Nice.
Even though we had a simple, stress-free, joyful christmas, there was something niggling at me that was missing. It seemed to lack depth. I think we can fill that next year by getting involved in some kind of community service project to help others.
Hope y'all are enjoying basking in the post-Christmas glow.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
lost: 2 rings. gone: attachment
Recently as I was going through some of the things I have in storage, I came across two rings of mine that I used to enjoy wearing. One is all silver and the other all turquoise. I don't like wearing a lot of jewelry on my hands & wrists, and currently wear some other rings I like, but I wanted to wear those so I put them on a leather cord to wear as a necklace. Yesterday as I was in the shower, the leather cord just fell off, with no rings on it.
The old me would have panicked and got the whole family out looking for them right away. However, my first thought this time was "oh well, it's just stuff, I hope whoever finds them enjoys them". It felt good to feel that. But then coming in behind that feeling was the thought "but it's MY stuff, and I have history attached to those rings" then came the feeling "so?". It was a comical interaction between my mind and my soul as my mind let go of the attachment to those two rings. I felt so ok with their disappearance that I just casually asked the family to keep their eyes out for them, but I did not send them all out combing the area. I trusted that if they were meant to return to me, they would and if they were meant for someone else, they would find their way to the right person.
This morning I had a brief vision of the turquoise ring and imagined it on my hand next to the other silver ring I'm wearing at the moment. About 20 minutes later, I found that ring.
This year has been such a big one for me in terms of letting go - of conditionings and material things - and personal growth in ways far beyond what I ever thought. It's been a tough year, but oh, so worth it.
The old me would have panicked and got the whole family out looking for them right away. However, my first thought this time was "oh well, it's just stuff, I hope whoever finds them enjoys them". It felt good to feel that. But then coming in behind that feeling was the thought "but it's MY stuff, and I have history attached to those rings" then came the feeling "so?". It was a comical interaction between my mind and my soul as my mind let go of the attachment to those two rings. I felt so ok with their disappearance that I just casually asked the family to keep their eyes out for them, but I did not send them all out combing the area. I trusted that if they were meant to return to me, they would and if they were meant for someone else, they would find their way to the right person.
This morning I had a brief vision of the turquoise ring and imagined it on my hand next to the other silver ring I'm wearing at the moment. About 20 minutes later, I found that ring.
This year has been such a big one for me in terms of letting go - of conditionings and material things - and personal growth in ways far beyond what I ever thought. It's been a tough year, but oh, so worth it.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Christmas Joy
Photo taken at South West Rocks, NSW. 17 Dec 2007
We are packing up our camper to prepare for an early morning get away tomorrow. It's amazing how relaxed we are. Life has continued to flow beautifully here. With the shopping centers jam packed, we always manage to get a spot right near the front. Not that we have been spending much time there, but when we do go, it's been a pleasure and we've been able to do what we need to do without stress. It's been so great!
Warm wishes to all our friends and family for a happy and joyful christmas!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Peaceful easy feeling
Ever since I started reading the 'Conversations With God' books, I've been feeling a beautiful, deep peace. The whole family picked up on that and we've had a lovely harmony here and a fantastic flow with life. Things that have been missing for months are 'suddenly' turning up, we've all been more playful and joyful and just loving living this free spirit life of ours.
Up until yesterday when I woke up tired after several nights in a row where my sleep had been interrupted quite a bit by noisy neighbours and Nuke wanting to nurse a lot more than usual. I was also starting to feel a bit tense about things we still had to take care of here before we go north and wondering when it will all get done with the social agenda we already have planned. It was a pretty windy day yesterday and that always bothers me too. So my agitation managed to rub off on the rest of the family. Interesting.
This morning I woke up feeling more rested, feeling my faith return that everything we need to do will get done and will be done with joy. As I write this, Sami and AJ are using their headphones to listen to a new Karaoke CD that Sami got for her birthday. They are singing together and dancing little toys all over Sami's bed. Cary and Nuke are still asleep. The birds are chirping and there is a gentle warm breeze blowing. That peaceful calm is filling me again.
...
Just before Sami's birthday, we went to a kinesiologist who, after getting Sami's body in balance then tested her to see how she processes various foods. For many years I've suspected she's had something going on in that department but I hadn't been able to find the right person to assist us. Or the time just wasn't right. Recently, Sami started complaining much more often of a sore tummy. She also started saying that her brain is "all fuzzy" and she's "thinking all crooked". So, it turns out she is intolerant to wheat, gluten, high fat and refined sugar. Which means that her body just does not digest those things which is why they are stored on her physical body. She's now ready to help herself more and is interested in getting a clearer brain and wants to trim down a bit. She knows that she needs to avoid those foods, but is in a transition phase of still wanting them for their familiarity and comfort. We're looking for alternatives and just bought a bread machine and are experimenting with new flours. She can have spelt so that's good and the spelt waffles I made on the weekend were very popular! I'm sorry that it took 10 years for us to realise this, but at least we now know.
Since Cary left for the USA up until a week or so ago, he has lost 25lbs. He was trying at first, being careful with what he ate, exercising regularly. Doing that he lost the first 15lbs. Then he just stopped focusing on it and just focused more on enjoying life and the family and the rest just seemed to melt off him. He's feeling more relaxed and connected and that's a wonderful gift for him and us.
Up until yesterday when I woke up tired after several nights in a row where my sleep had been interrupted quite a bit by noisy neighbours and Nuke wanting to nurse a lot more than usual. I was also starting to feel a bit tense about things we still had to take care of here before we go north and wondering when it will all get done with the social agenda we already have planned. It was a pretty windy day yesterday and that always bothers me too. So my agitation managed to rub off on the rest of the family. Interesting.
This morning I woke up feeling more rested, feeling my faith return that everything we need to do will get done and will be done with joy. As I write this, Sami and AJ are using their headphones to listen to a new Karaoke CD that Sami got for her birthday. They are singing together and dancing little toys all over Sami's bed. Cary and Nuke are still asleep. The birds are chirping and there is a gentle warm breeze blowing. That peaceful calm is filling me again.
...
Just before Sami's birthday, we went to a kinesiologist who, after getting Sami's body in balance then tested her to see how she processes various foods. For many years I've suspected she's had something going on in that department but I hadn't been able to find the right person to assist us. Or the time just wasn't right. Recently, Sami started complaining much more often of a sore tummy. She also started saying that her brain is "all fuzzy" and she's "thinking all crooked". So, it turns out she is intolerant to wheat, gluten, high fat and refined sugar. Which means that her body just does not digest those things which is why they are stored on her physical body. She's now ready to help herself more and is interested in getting a clearer brain and wants to trim down a bit. She knows that she needs to avoid those foods, but is in a transition phase of still wanting them for their familiarity and comfort. We're looking for alternatives and just bought a bread machine and are experimenting with new flours. She can have spelt so that's good and the spelt waffles I made on the weekend were very popular! I'm sorry that it took 10 years for us to realise this, but at least we now know.
Since Cary left for the USA up until a week or so ago, he has lost 25lbs. He was trying at first, being careful with what he ate, exercising regularly. Doing that he lost the first 15lbs. Then he just stopped focusing on it and just focused more on enjoying life and the family and the rest just seemed to melt off him. He's feeling more relaxed and connected and that's a wonderful gift for him and us.
Monday, December 10, 2007
a jolly time
A lot of people have told us lately how relaxed we look. Yeah, we're certainly in a pretty nice groove at the moment. Even this typically crazy time of the year is not bothering me like it has in the past. I'm just not doing as much about it. We're getting less presents for fewer people and the Christmas cards will either get done, or they won't.
It's Sami's birthday in two days. She has one more regular school day left, then another day of clean up and presentations and the last day is just a big picnic at a local creek/beach area. In two days our girl will turn 10 - no more single digits! For her birthday I got one of those flip over photo albums that holds 100 photos. I've chosen 10 photos from each year of her life so far. It was so much fun doing that. I think she'll enjoy looking through it and seeing some of the many people and places and fun times she's experienced.
We're all looking forward to moving on from here in 12 days time. I'm so calm about everything, it's the best present I could give to myself - and the rest of the family! It's good.
It's Sami's birthday in two days. She has one more regular school day left, then another day of clean up and presentations and the last day is just a big picnic at a local creek/beach area. In two days our girl will turn 10 - no more single digits! For her birthday I got one of those flip over photo albums that holds 100 photos. I've chosen 10 photos from each year of her life so far. It was so much fun doing that. I think she'll enjoy looking through it and seeing some of the many people and places and fun times she's experienced.
We're all looking forward to moving on from here in 12 days time. I'm so calm about everything, it's the best present I could give to myself - and the rest of the family! It's good.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Clarity
Several weeks ago, I was going in circles, knowing I needed to change some things, but not knowing exactly what. I was finally guided to ask for clarity....and it is coming.
My own goals, and our family goals are so much clearer. I am grateful.
It has kick started a new phase and given enthusiasm and energy to where we're at now.
We're having a major clean up in our camper. Really thinking about what we're taking with us when we head north. What do we need? What do we want? How much/how little can we be comfortable with? Already the space in our camper has a lighter feel as we take the excess books and games and toys and general stuff to our storage unit. Another garage sale this weekend - hopefully the last one for quite a while - will allow us to move our stuff into a much smaller storage unit.
Sami has another week of school before she finishes (again). She recently performed in her class play and absolutely shone. I must find drama classes for her when we head north. I'm excited to meet the other homeschoolers there. AJ's been enjoying gymnastics and they've both been swimming a lot. Nicholas speaks more words every day - all day every day that is...he starts chatting from the moment he gets up until he falls asleep. And his volume is loud! Oh boy is he a funny character.
I'm so blessed to have these three special souls in our family. Each of them shining in their own way. Teaching me so much, and in the process allowing me to shine too. With the love and support and encouragement from Cary too, I am very happy.
It was Cary's birthday on the 3rd. Sami made him a happy birthday card and she 'accidentally' wrote "have a God birthday" (instead of good birthday). We thought she had it right though.
I hope y'all are enjoying this month with peace and love and I wish you a God day.
My own goals, and our family goals are so much clearer. I am grateful.
It has kick started a new phase and given enthusiasm and energy to where we're at now.
We're having a major clean up in our camper. Really thinking about what we're taking with us when we head north. What do we need? What do we want? How much/how little can we be comfortable with? Already the space in our camper has a lighter feel as we take the excess books and games and toys and general stuff to our storage unit. Another garage sale this weekend - hopefully the last one for quite a while - will allow us to move our stuff into a much smaller storage unit.
Sami has another week of school before she finishes (again). She recently performed in her class play and absolutely shone. I must find drama classes for her when we head north. I'm excited to meet the other homeschoolers there. AJ's been enjoying gymnastics and they've both been swimming a lot. Nicholas speaks more words every day - all day every day that is...he starts chatting from the moment he gets up until he falls asleep. And his volume is loud! Oh boy is he a funny character.
I'm so blessed to have these three special souls in our family. Each of them shining in their own way. Teaching me so much, and in the process allowing me to shine too. With the love and support and encouragement from Cary too, I am very happy.
It was Cary's birthday on the 3rd. Sami made him a happy birthday card and she 'accidentally' wrote "have a God birthday" (instead of good birthday). We thought she had it right though.
I hope y'all are enjoying this month with peace and love and I wish you a God day.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
late Nov 07
Nicholas and I went to my Mums for 3 nights to help her out with some jobs at her place. It was the first time I'd left Sami and AJ for so long. I felt a bit strange doing so, but knew the time would go quickly. They ended up having a great time with Cary and going to a couple of parties. Such a great time that they hardly ever called me. I'm glad it went well. Apparently it was very quiet around here without the little guy's constant chatter.
Nicholas really missed everyone (and so did I). He stayed very close to me the whole weekend which made it a little hard to do much, but it was lovely. I got to drive our new truck on the trip. It went great and I loved cruising along the highway with the sunroof open, the windows up and the music on. Nicholas was a happy traveller on the 3 hours there and back.
I love driving on the roads here. Cary calls the main highway a country road. Ok, it is only one lane each way for most of it, with some overtaking lanes built in along the way. But to me, they are interesting. The curves, the hills, the countryside. It's so beautiful and interesting. Old, abandoned buildings, full of history - I can just feel the pioneers who first brought their families this way. I can imagine how the area looked back then, I wonder about the women and think about how hard they must have worked and wonder "were they happy?"
I was very happy to get back home to our little camper. We have arranged to move further north on 22 December. So we're started to prepare for that - using up the excess food, taking the winter clothes to storage and really thinking about what we've been using and what we will need for the hot summer ahead. Cary did buy a mobile air conditioner for the camper which isn't too bulky. AJ and I could be comfortable in the summer just with a fan when there is no breeze. But the rest of the family really feels the heat so the a/c will make them more comfortable. Hmm, maybe I should keep some of the winter things with us for AJ and I.
It feels good to have a plan. I am trying to think of some creative things we can do for Cary's and Sami's birthdays which are coming up soon, as well as Christmas. We won't be doing much in the way of presents as we simply don't have the space (or frankly, the desire to get any more stuff). So we might put tickets to Australia Zoo under the tree (or whatever we use in place of a tree) for Christmas with some favourite foods and that might be it. Decorations will be minimal. I'm aiming for a Christmas that has more meaning, more family connection, less "stuff" and less stress.
So far so good. I'll let you know how that plan goes!
Nicholas really missed everyone (and so did I). He stayed very close to me the whole weekend which made it a little hard to do much, but it was lovely. I got to drive our new truck on the trip. It went great and I loved cruising along the highway with the sunroof open, the windows up and the music on. Nicholas was a happy traveller on the 3 hours there and back.
I love driving on the roads here. Cary calls the main highway a country road. Ok, it is only one lane each way for most of it, with some overtaking lanes built in along the way. But to me, they are interesting. The curves, the hills, the countryside. It's so beautiful and interesting. Old, abandoned buildings, full of history - I can just feel the pioneers who first brought their families this way. I can imagine how the area looked back then, I wonder about the women and think about how hard they must have worked and wonder "were they happy?"
I was very happy to get back home to our little camper. We have arranged to move further north on 22 December. So we're started to prepare for that - using up the excess food, taking the winter clothes to storage and really thinking about what we've been using and what we will need for the hot summer ahead. Cary did buy a mobile air conditioner for the camper which isn't too bulky. AJ and I could be comfortable in the summer just with a fan when there is no breeze. But the rest of the family really feels the heat so the a/c will make them more comfortable. Hmm, maybe I should keep some of the winter things with us for AJ and I.
It feels good to have a plan. I am trying to think of some creative things we can do for Cary's and Sami's birthdays which are coming up soon, as well as Christmas. We won't be doing much in the way of presents as we simply don't have the space (or frankly, the desire to get any more stuff). So we might put tickets to Australia Zoo under the tree (or whatever we use in place of a tree) for Christmas with some favourite foods and that might be it. Decorations will be minimal. I'm aiming for a Christmas that has more meaning, more family connection, less "stuff" and less stress.
So far so good. I'll let you know how that plan goes!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
releasing Judgement
I was walking along the beach this morning. It's a place that always nourishes me spiritually. It's a place that feels ...like home.
I walked while watching a(nother) magnificent sunrise. I thought about how easy it is to appreciate something so beautiful and how challenging it can be to appreciate something not so beautiful. I thought of how judgemental I was of the area when we lived in Las Vegas. It took me years to accept and appreciate the unique beauty of the desert.
I thought of how easy it is to enjoy my children when they are happy and how challenging it can be sometimes when they are showing sides of themselves that are, well, not so pretty. How hard it can be to look through statements like "I hate you mum" yelled from my pre-pubescent daughter. I know she really means that she does not like what I'm saying because she knows it to be true but doesn't want to admit it. But it's hard not to let it get to me a bit especially when it comes with huffing and puffing and major attitude.
So I'm really working on noticing my thoughts and noticing when I'm being judgemental towards others or myself. To see the love that is always there, even when it's hidden behind a veil of fear. To release judgement and let things just be
I walked while watching a(nother) magnificent sunrise. I thought about how easy it is to appreciate something so beautiful and how challenging it can be to appreciate something not so beautiful. I thought of how judgemental I was of the area when we lived in Las Vegas. It took me years to accept and appreciate the unique beauty of the desert.
I thought of how easy it is to enjoy my children when they are happy and how challenging it can be sometimes when they are showing sides of themselves that are, well, not so pretty. How hard it can be to look through statements like "I hate you mum" yelled from my pre-pubescent daughter. I know she really means that she does not like what I'm saying because she knows it to be true but doesn't want to admit it. But it's hard not to let it get to me a bit especially when it comes with huffing and puffing and major attitude.
So I'm really working on noticing my thoughts and noticing when I'm being judgemental towards others or myself. To see the love that is always there, even when it's hidden behind a veil of fear. To release judgement and let things just be
Saturday, November 17, 2007
always growing
There's been an undercurrent occurring in my life that I have been denying.
I was stuck here for some time in a mental pattern I found challenging. I was stuck in a very judgemental process creating a downward spiral. The judgement was focused on my own surroundings. I lost the joy of what we are doing and starting listening to what others were saying. The tone of their voices as they felt sorry for me for living in this old camper in cramped conditions with the whole family. On top of that, selling the nice car we had recently and driving the smaller car that was also more cramped and has the headliner falling down and a temperamental cassette player. And of course, dealing with it all through the rain. "oh you poor thing." was something that I heard over and over and over. I started believing it.
I would try and talk to people about the positives but I could tell they were kind of shocked or thought we were in financial trouble or thought there was no way in heck they would be doing what we're doing. I reminded myself about why we're doing this but then I started seeing things through their pity. Instead of freedom and adventure, I was seeing insecurity. Instead of joy, I saw doubt. Instead of fun with my children I started feeling resentment that I wasn't getting any time for me. All because I listened to other people who just don't get it.
It helps now that Cary is back and we can support each other on this path.
I knew there was a spiritual lesson in all of this. At least one.
To start with, I thought about the physical image of our home and car.
I came to see that it's not the external image we project but the internal image we hold and allow ourselves to see. I needed to remind myself that I am a good person and have respect for myself and the things I have. To feel grateful for what I have. I decided that when I could get comfortable with that - truly and deeply - then abundance will manifest in my life. I think I had bought into other people opinions that we were poor and so I started living with a lack mentality. I can now see the beauty around me, the space, the freedom, the flexibility, the adventure.
I started taking some time for me, to recharge. It's important and I need to let my family see that I respect myself enough to do this. Doing this helps me remember my path, my reasons for doing this and helps me stay strong in my decisions and joyful during my day.
I finally was ready to read 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. I've known about the books for years, and even seen the movie, but I'd never read a book. The other day at the library, Book one said to me "it's time to read me now". The first 5 pages were enough to realise that I hadn't been letting go and letting God do enough in my life. I felt joyful and lighter immediately.
And so, I am letting go of OPO (other people's opinion's) that I had absorbed. I am working on my own spiritual energy - protecting, grounding, expanding.
I'm feeling excited again.
It's all good.
I was stuck here for some time in a mental pattern I found challenging. I was stuck in a very judgemental process creating a downward spiral. The judgement was focused on my own surroundings. I lost the joy of what we are doing and starting listening to what others were saying. The tone of their voices as they felt sorry for me for living in this old camper in cramped conditions with the whole family. On top of that, selling the nice car we had recently and driving the smaller car that was also more cramped and has the headliner falling down and a temperamental cassette player. And of course, dealing with it all through the rain. "oh you poor thing." was something that I heard over and over and over. I started believing it.
I would try and talk to people about the positives but I could tell they were kind of shocked or thought we were in financial trouble or thought there was no way in heck they would be doing what we're doing. I reminded myself about why we're doing this but then I started seeing things through their pity. Instead of freedom and adventure, I was seeing insecurity. Instead of joy, I saw doubt. Instead of fun with my children I started feeling resentment that I wasn't getting any time for me. All because I listened to other people who just don't get it.
It helps now that Cary is back and we can support each other on this path.
I knew there was a spiritual lesson in all of this. At least one.
To start with, I thought about the physical image of our home and car.
I came to see that it's not the external image we project but the internal image we hold and allow ourselves to see. I needed to remind myself that I am a good person and have respect for myself and the things I have. To feel grateful for what I have. I decided that when I could get comfortable with that - truly and deeply - then abundance will manifest in my life. I think I had bought into other people opinions that we were poor and so I started living with a lack mentality. I can now see the beauty around me, the space, the freedom, the flexibility, the adventure.
I started taking some time for me, to recharge. It's important and I need to let my family see that I respect myself enough to do this. Doing this helps me remember my path, my reasons for doing this and helps me stay strong in my decisions and joyful during my day.
I finally was ready to read 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. I've known about the books for years, and even seen the movie, but I'd never read a book. The other day at the library, Book one said to me "it's time to read me now". The first 5 pages were enough to realise that I hadn't been letting go and letting God do enough in my life. I felt joyful and lighter immediately.
And so, I am letting go of OPO (other people's opinion's) that I had absorbed. I am working on my own spiritual energy - protecting, grounding, expanding.
I'm feeling excited again.
It's all good.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sensory cornucopia
My joy meter has worked itself up from the recent trough it was in to reach a peak experience this morning:
Sleeping beauties
time alone
sandals on, time for a walk.
Onto the path
what? why?
the beach in on the other side of those trees.
20 seconds later, I'm on the sand
sandals off
The smell! fresh, salty air
The feel! the sand and small stones and shells massaging the soles of my feet
warm ocean water bathing my lower legs
the sea foam so very soft like liquid silk through my toes.
The sight! the blue and green water, so clean, so clear
beautiful waves
patterns on the shore
The sound! Waves rolling
strong and confident, with a purpose
like me
birds flying, so free and beautiful
like me
surfers catching waves
so adventurous
like me
My spirit nourished, full of this natural abundance, these gifts.
I am so grateful
excited
knowing anything and everything is possible
we are all connected
we are one
Sleeping beauties
time alone
sandals on, time for a walk.
Onto the path
what? why?
the beach in on the other side of those trees.
20 seconds later, I'm on the sand
sandals off
The smell! fresh, salty air
The feel! the sand and small stones and shells massaging the soles of my feet
warm ocean water bathing my lower legs
the sea foam so very soft like liquid silk through my toes.
The sight! the blue and green water, so clean, so clear
beautiful waves
patterns on the shore
The sound! Waves rolling
strong and confident, with a purpose
like me
birds flying, so free and beautiful
like me
surfers catching waves
so adventurous
like me
My spirit nourished, full of this natural abundance, these gifts.
I am so grateful
excited
knowing anything and everything is possible
we are all connected
we are one
Thursday, November 08, 2007
25 days
Have I ever mentioned that we get a bit of rain here?! Oh my golly, it just hasn't stopped lately. Well, it has stopped for a few minutes here and there, but it's rained a lot lately, and it's expected to continue for another 5 days or so. It's like living in the tropics but we're squashed into a teeny two room place. Yeah, we're going to need a bigger camper before too much longer. And one without canvas. I've discovered that all the canvas ones - even the brand new ones - get damp on the inside with a lot of rain.
As we are staying put here for a while longer, Sami really wanted to go back to school. She misses her teacher and all the singing and wanted to be a part of the end of year play. There are only 25 school days left in the year and if it makes her happier, I surrender. I saw the joy in her face when she spoke about going back and I could not deny her. AJ does not want to go back. Sami said that she does want to homeschool when we get on the road, but seeing as we've really not gone anywhere, she'd like to be back at school.
As we are staying put here for a while longer, Sami really wanted to go back to school. She misses her teacher and all the singing and wanted to be a part of the end of year play. There are only 25 school days left in the year and if it makes her happier, I surrender. I saw the joy in her face when she spoke about going back and I could not deny her. AJ does not want to go back. Sami said that she does want to homeschool when we get on the road, but seeing as we've really not gone anywhere, she'd like to be back at school.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Transition
During birth, transition is the stage when the mama thinks she just cannot go on. The babe is usually born very soon afterwards.
I had my own transition here last week. I reached the point where I was just "done" with all of this. The rain, the mildew, the constant dampness, the wind, the cramped conditions, not being able to find things easily, light bulbs blowing in the night, torrential rain knocking part of the annexe over, rain getting in and soaking the beds when we went out leaving the windows unzipped a little, tons of extra washing, the constant work, blah blah blah.
After transition comes the birth and a wonderful feeling of release and joy, although the mama is usually tired from the process. I thought back to my post regarding 'it's all about me'. Where I wrote about it being my responsibility to choose my focus. I KNOW this. This time the thought wasn't too far away. I knew it was there, I knew it was up to me to change how things were going, I just didn't feel capable. I needed to go deep into that transition, to really feel it, to get to a point where I sobbed deeply and for as long as was necessary to release it all. Years of pent up frustrations and old conditionings came through while I was sitting amongst a huge pile of wet laundry, with the camper a total mess and the rain still coming down. The children witnessed, they comforted but I did not stop for their sake, I kept going for me, not holding back, just letting it flow until it was done. Then I got up and did what had to be done - the washing, the meals, the shift in attitude.
I thought of people so much worse off than me. I wondered how I can always find so much stuff to do when living in such a little place. It seemed almost comical that, no matter what size place I live in, I can keep so busy taking care of the place. I wondered how I would live if I was told I had two years left to live - or what about two months?! Would I be so concerned with another wet towel dropped in a pile on a chair or would I just point out calmly that the towel won't dry if left like that, or even just hang it up myself without complaint?
I've had my transition, I feel lighter and more joyful, but tired. I'm a new babe and calmly determined to live with more love and lightness in my life.
I do not want to stop living like this, I know it is temporary and one day I will look back and this time with very fond memories. I am grateful for all of the lessons I'm getting, for the growth that's happening with all of us and for the fresh air and sunshine (even when it's hiding behind grey skies). I'm looking forward to the travel plans that we have and the adventures of mind, body and spirit that await us.
I had my own transition here last week. I reached the point where I was just "done" with all of this. The rain, the mildew, the constant dampness, the wind, the cramped conditions, not being able to find things easily, light bulbs blowing in the night, torrential rain knocking part of the annexe over, rain getting in and soaking the beds when we went out leaving the windows unzipped a little, tons of extra washing, the constant work, blah blah blah.
After transition comes the birth and a wonderful feeling of release and joy, although the mama is usually tired from the process. I thought back to my post regarding 'it's all about me'. Where I wrote about it being my responsibility to choose my focus. I KNOW this. This time the thought wasn't too far away. I knew it was there, I knew it was up to me to change how things were going, I just didn't feel capable. I needed to go deep into that transition, to really feel it, to get to a point where I sobbed deeply and for as long as was necessary to release it all. Years of pent up frustrations and old conditionings came through while I was sitting amongst a huge pile of wet laundry, with the camper a total mess and the rain still coming down. The children witnessed, they comforted but I did not stop for their sake, I kept going for me, not holding back, just letting it flow until it was done. Then I got up and did what had to be done - the washing, the meals, the shift in attitude.
I thought of people so much worse off than me. I wondered how I can always find so much stuff to do when living in such a little place. It seemed almost comical that, no matter what size place I live in, I can keep so busy taking care of the place. I wondered how I would live if I was told I had two years left to live - or what about two months?! Would I be so concerned with another wet towel dropped in a pile on a chair or would I just point out calmly that the towel won't dry if left like that, or even just hang it up myself without complaint?
I've had my transition, I feel lighter and more joyful, but tired. I'm a new babe and calmly determined to live with more love and lightness in my life.
I do not want to stop living like this, I know it is temporary and one day I will look back and this time with very fond memories. I am grateful for all of the lessons I'm getting, for the growth that's happening with all of us and for the fresh air and sunshine (even when it's hiding behind grey skies). I'm looking forward to the travel plans that we have and the adventures of mind, body and spirit that await us.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Peek-a-
BOO!
(Nuke was actually playing peek-a-boo when AJ took this pic)
AHHHHH!
(Sami & AJ on right with two new spooky friends on Halloween)
ARGH! Ahoy, shiver me timbers, wot's all this then?
Halloween is not an Aussie tradition. However, in recent years, as this country becomes more like an adolescent USA, more shops are carrying halloween decorations, costumes and candy. More people are having parties. More kids are attempting to go trick-or-treating. They usually go right after school finishes for the day, rather than as soon as it's dark as is the tradition in the USA.
AJ was determined to give it a go, though I did warn him that most aussies aren't into the festivity so probably won't have much. He got a few spooky friends together and off they went, not even noticing that it was raining. They got things like a handful of jellybeans, a half-eaten bag of mints, a few cookies, some coins, and some other bits and pieces. Several people went out and made up little goody bags filled with different candy for the kids. I did a treasure hunt for all the kids which helped them fill up their bags and they had plenty of sweet stuff.
Other examples of Australia becoming a mini USA are tv commercials with American voices, and teenagers starting to speak with American accents. Scary!
Hope y'all had a happy Halloween!
(Nuke was actually playing peek-a-boo when AJ took this pic)
AHHHHH!
(Sami & AJ on right with two new spooky friends on Halloween)
ARGH! Ahoy, shiver me timbers, wot's all this then?
Halloween is not an Aussie tradition. However, in recent years, as this country becomes more like an adolescent USA, more shops are carrying halloween decorations, costumes and candy. More people are having parties. More kids are attempting to go trick-or-treating. They usually go right after school finishes for the day, rather than as soon as it's dark as is the tradition in the USA.
AJ was determined to give it a go, though I did warn him that most aussies aren't into the festivity so probably won't have much. He got a few spooky friends together and off they went, not even noticing that it was raining. They got things like a handful of jellybeans, a half-eaten bag of mints, a few cookies, some coins, and some other bits and pieces. Several people went out and made up little goody bags filled with different candy for the kids. I did a treasure hunt for all the kids which helped them fill up their bags and they had plenty of sweet stuff.
Other examples of Australia becoming a mini USA are tv commercials with American voices, and teenagers starting to speak with American accents. Scary!
Hope y'all had a happy Halloween!
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