My evolution...

This blogging journey has been interesting.  For me anyway.  Recently, I randomly selected some old posts and it's been interesting to read them and see what was going on in my life then.  Some made me laugh out loud.  Some made me a little sad.  Some made me smile, and some made me think "what the...?"!

I can see some patterns.  Some breakthroughs.  Some times when lessons were repeated, so maybe I didn't always "get" them to the degree that I thought that I did at the time.  Maybe life is just so full at times, that it's easy to get distracted from remembering to stay present, or to fill myself with love all of the time, or to write five things that I'm grateful for every single day.  Or whatever I think that I "should" be doing.

I had a poster of the following 'Ten Rules for Being Human' on my wall when I was a teenager.  It was near my 'Desiderata' poster.  Such wonderful inspiration to share my days with!   I have often remembered, and quoted, parts of both.  Mostly to myself.   It's number 10 on the Rules that always gets me though!

Argh!  Just when I think I've got it, Number 10 strikes again!!

It has taken repetition, and a gradual chipping away at some old patterns.  It has taken me forgetting on a conscious level, so that, when the lesson appears again, I can go deeper into remembering.

I think that all of the "big" lessons for me, have really how to incorporate all of those "little" lessons into my very Being.

Hmm, into my very Being.

That's it!   They become a part of the way that we are, the way that we live every moment.  So then we no longer have to consciously remember them.

Some lessons take longer to incorporate.  That chipping away at old patterns.
Some might hit us with full force after a sudden awareness, which may or may not be triggered by a major event in our life.

Remember to be gentle with the process. Because learning lessons does not end, as long as we are still breathing!

Remember that all that really matters, is love.

Love is our Soul Purpose.

And that you have all of the tools and resources and answers within you already to know how to live that!

Slow down...

"Can you slow down please Mom?", said my 11 year old son as he reached out to hold my hand.

We were walking along the beach, soon after the sunrise.

We often did this.  For me, it was a dual purpose activity.  Get some exercise for me and whoever else came along with me, and spending time in nature.

I didn't realise how often the first reason dominated.

There I was, fast walking through the soft sand as I'd done so many times before.  I look at the rising sun, the waves, the sprinkling of seashells.  And I think that I'm doing myself a favour by grounding myself while also pushing myself to walk fast, to see if I can break a little sweat.  To look for the softest sand to walk in as that's more challenging.  To get my main workout for the day over and done with.

And encouraging my kids to do the same.  Not so much with my words, but definitely with my actions.

I started "exercising" in my teens, though I'd always been pretty active anyway.  I studied fitness, health, nutrition.  I worked in the fitness industry.  Also from my teens, I read books on mind-body-spirit connection and spirituality.

I thought that I "got" it.  To some degree, I did.  Sometimes, much more than others.

But today, I got a deeper lesson.  From one of my greatest teachers.  My son.  Who, at almost 12 years old, still loves to hold my hand and have long chats with me.

All that I had to do, was to slow down.

I remembered that I need to let go of control...and surrender to another way.  It's okay for me to stop rushing, and moving fast.  I'm not going to seize up, or turn into a blob if I stop walking fast all the time.  In fact, I might even firm up and trim down as I won't be constantly creating stress in my body which only encourages the body to hold onto weight.

I was so focused on the exercise portion of the morning, that I was down-playing the JOY factor.

Thankfully, I listened to my teacher.

So, we played.

We took turns playing follow-the-leader where the person in front walks all kinds of silly ways, and the person following, has to try and step into their footprints in exactly the same way. It always ends in lots of giggles.

We climbed on the boulders.

We wrote in the sand.

We played at the edge of the water, jumping and stomping through the shallow water.

I got a lesson in balance, and in the importance of JOY!

My body felt happy just because it was moving in a playful way.  The effect was longer-lasting both physically and mentally, than if I had pushed myself to work hard.

There is so much emphasis on results, that we often forget that the process is what's really important.

The happiest times of my life, were when I lived that.  When I was not even focused on "living in Joy".  When our days consisted of play, and movement, and nature, and just Being, and without even trying, or thinking about it, I was living in a state of Joy.

I know that I've lived it before.  I know that I can do it again.

Thankfully, I have a great teacher who will remind me!

I'm not going to stop doing intense workouts.   There is something really empowering about pushing myself to go a bit further, or harder, or to lift heavier.  But I will aim to remember to not take it all too seriously, and to have fun and enJOY the process.  Perhaps I'll even stop referring to them as "workouts", and instead call it "play time" to remind me of where my focus would better serve me.

There is so much freedom in letting go of control!

When I get out of my head and the shoulds, musts, have tos, blah blah....and let my heart lead.  Then.  Then there is Joy.

It's so simple, yet we make it so damn complicated some times!    Just remembering how simple it is, makes me feel lighter.  I'm sitting here laughing at myself and this whole crazy life!!

Control...and Surrender

Mercury retrograde, or whatever other forces within me and outside of me...thank you.

It was a tough, emotional realisation, but one that I had sensed was coming.

My issue with Control.

Why?  When did I first feel out of control?

Definitely when I started school, a couple of months before I turned 5.  Possibly even before then.

I remember walking myself home from school when my mother was late in picking me up.  New to being 5 years old, I was full of independence and a sense of freedom and adventure.  I still remember what that felt like as that little girl.  I was confident and not at all scared.  When I finally did make it the long way home, I was surprised that my mother had called the Police and that everyone that we knew had been out looking for me.  I didn't see what the fuss was.  I was home.  I'd had a great time.  I remember feeling so free on that walk.  Away from the teachers telling me what to do, how to learn, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom.  Away from everything and everyone that I knew.  Just me and my little legs taking their time, and enjoying every step.

As a child, I could feel that there was something so much ...More.  I had tasted freedom, and I loved it!  I had known it was there, but the severe reaction to me enjoying that, made for a big question in my young mind.

I grew quiet and observed how the game was played.  I found ways to pretend that I was doing the right thing.

Years of schooling, church, society, peers.  Control...think...do...act...please...play the game.

I had many spiritual insights as a child, but I didn't know what to do with them.  As a teen, I continued a spiritual search, I became more interested in health, but also in any way that I could be free.  I had an inner rebellion gathering force.   Often it would leak outwards - smoking, drinking, drugs.  Sometimes, I was just unkind to people that were genuinely trying to love me.  I am not proud of any of that.

I was restless.  I moved around.  The rest of the story doesn't really matter right now.

I wouldn't say that I was a "control freak".  But it has been a way for me to maintain my independence.  "No, I don't need help...I can do this by myself."   But at the same time, I wanted to help others.  My husband, my children, my family, friends and clients.  I got in my own way, and didn't always allow others to do things their way.

Not all of the time.  I've certainly had a lot of times when I felt like I was in the flow and accepting and allowing.

But there was still this control factor there, in the background.  The band-aid that I had put on in order to cope with this world where I didn't feel that I could always just BE.  I know that I held myself back.

In this world where there is just so much that I cannot control.  Where there are so many things that affect me deeply.  Where I just get so upset about the injustice done to other people, especially the children, also the animals and the environment.  I tried to maintain control of my own little space.  Maybe a little too much.

I now face that need to control.  I feel how it is limiting me.  I see that some of it was based in fear.
Fear of being 'wrong'.
Fear of not knowing the outcome.
Fear of needing to find a new way when I worked so damn hard to figure out the other way.
Fear of not wanting to put others out.
Fear of thinking that I am too selfish and I will hurt someone else (as I did in my teens and 20's).
Fear of shining too brightly and the safety of holding back.
(Wow.  This is why I love writing...for the personal processing that happens.  I didn't realise most of the things in this paragraph until I got out of the way and let it flow.  wow.)

I thank Control for the perceived protection it used to give me.....I see its motive, realise that it does not serve me, and I release it.

I surrender to freedom!

I go deeper into Trusting that life is unfolding as it should.

Of course there is still a game to play, and things that need to be done in this life.   But with a lighter mindset and a happy heart, I can be soaring even when I am paying bills or doing housework.  With surrender, I can accomplish the exact same things, but with peace and calm and joy, rather than frustration and fear.

This life is just so interesting.  The layers that we build up and then pull down!  What a ridiculous, hilarious, clever process it all is!

It feels as though this was just another important realisation in this winding, roller-coaster, swirling path of really living as Love.  This lesson has come up before, but I take it deeper this time.

I just need to remember:

Letting go...

In the past six weeks, I've let go of a lot.

A lot of material items, and a lot of inner releases as well.

It has been the most relaxed and joyful holiday season I've experienced for a very long time.


I've done major decluttering so many times that the process is familiar and even easy.  I don't follow anyone's 'rules' for doing so.  For example, some people try and get their wardrobe down to a set number of pieces.  I don't see the point in that.  I have a small area for my clothes.  I just want them to fit in there neatly.  I also want all of the clothes in there to be clothes that I feel happy wearing.  Every so often, I go through them all when I realise that there are clothes in there that I just haven't been wearing.  I try them on and ask myself two questions: "Is this comfortable?" (I only like clothes that I can't feel when they are on.  No scratchy areas, or seams, or tightness.)  And, "Do I feel good in this?".  The feeling is not just the physical comfort, but the sub-conscious effect of the colour and style.  With these two questions, it's very easy to decide on whether or not to keep something, or to let it go so that someone else might use it.

I have been through every cupboard of our little townhouse.  It's amazing how many bits and pieces were hiding in the shadows!   Again, two questions: "Do we actually use this?", and "Does this delight me?".  Only one question needs a "yes" for an item to stay.

If we have been somewhere special, I often pick up a stone or a shell or an unusual stick or something.  I keep these things around the place.  When I can no longer remember where I picked that piece up, and the memory associated with it, I return it to the earth.

I got rid of several pieces of furniture that were just storage places for 'stuff'.  In getting rid of a place to hold it, I then was able to be more ruthless in what stayed and what went as I moved things around.

I let go of the idea of being a great gardener.  At least while we are living here.  I have tried container gardening, but not very successfully.  If I read more about it, and tested the soil, and moved the plants in and out of the sun or fertilised more or less frequently, I'd probably do better.   I had been trying to grow different foods.  The thing is, we can easily go through one lettuce in a day or two.  The amount of space that I'd need to maintain our demand was crowding us, and the amount of time that it would take to care for that, can be better spent elsewhere.  I got rid of a lot of extra garden pots and garden paraphernalia that was cluttering up our patio.  It felt really good.

I let go of a lot of other projects that no longer felt important.  These were things that had held a little piece / peace of me as I'd thought that I should finish them someday.  Gone.  Not necessary.  I did all that I needed to do.

I let go of books that were no longer relevant.  Now all of my books fit neatly on one shelf.  I am going to take more time to read in the coming months.  I rarely read fiction, it's usually books on health and spirituality that inspire me.

With Thanksgiving, two family birthdays, Christmas, and a road trip to visit extended family, the holiday season can feel overwhelming to me.  I try to make each event and every person feel celebrated.  A huge thing for me, is that I let go of that being my job, my responsibility.  Instead,
I stayed authentically in my own Joy, and I let that ripple out.

Another huge thing for me, was that I let go of the grief that I still had about my Dad no longer being earthside.  So many of my Christmas memories featured him so strongly, especially from my childhood.  Christmas carols always reminded me of him as he loved to sing, and I loved his voice.  I let go of the attachment to those early memories, I let go of the sadness that I wouldn't hear his voice again.  Instead, I just remembered the Joy of those times.  I felt a deep Peace, and a lot of gratitude for those memories.

I let go of having to do certain things.  I wrote fewer Christmas cards.  I baked fewer cookies.  We did not put up all of the Christmas decorations.  I spent more time doing things for myself, like going for a paddle out on the lake that we live on.  Without guilt!  With Joy!

I rarely went onto any social media.  Before I cut back, I had tried to keep up with news and events from family and friends on a regular basis.  But I just stopped.  I stopped having to 'like' my friends posts.  I also stopped the subtle comparison I was subjecting myself to when I thought I should be more like some of my friends who were fitter than me, or more creative than me, or more fun than me.   I 'unliked' and unfollowed a whole bunch of pages and people.   Maybe twice a week, I might have a quick scroll through Instagram and Facebook, and that's enough.  I've got board games to play, books to read, new recipes to try, and fun to be had with the people that are here in my life right now.

I don't know what the new year has in store for us.  I feel so good to be starting the year feeling so light.  Feeling so Joy-Full.  Feeling more space within me, and around me.  Feeling calm and, with fewer distractions, more focused on goals.

I hope that you all are in a place of Peace, and that the year ahead brings you good health and great happiness.

In Joy,
Annette

Gracefully surrendering...

...the things of youth...oh what a trip this has been!...like a 3D game of snakes and ladders as my path winds around this mountain of my life.  Sometimes taking a leap forward, sometimes sliding back.  All of it has been so perfect!  The beauty of hindsight is that I can see how some of the worst times shaped me to have enormous growth.

One of the things that has helped shape me is 'Desiderata' (I've put a copy below).  My sister was given a poster of that when she was an early teenager.  I am four years younger than her and we shared a bedroom.  She had the poster on the wardrobe door and I read it many, many times.  Every day I would add a new sentence to what I had already memorized and I would say it over in my mind during the long walk to and from the school bus.  When she moved out, I got my own copy which has traveled with me in all of my moves around Australia and the world.  It's still relevant.  I find myself pondering the line: "Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth." 

In that spirit, I claim:

Love

Peace

Joy

Personal Power

Acceptance

Self-worth

as some of my most valued lessons, deeply learned and integrated.  I claim them from all of the challenges and bruises and highlights that it took to earn them during my youth.  I now own them and they will not be surrendered.  Only all of the fears and insecurities and confusion will be released.  They may just look like words, but they mean much more than that to me.  Who knew?  Growing older can come with such a beautiful Peace.  Growing into one's true self.  Not needing to prove anything to anyone.  Not needing to feel guilty.  My body may not look and act like it did years ago, but the trade for inner Peace is definitely worth it to me.

So grateful for every single breath and step along this path!


DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

**************************************************************************

For the story on the discovery of this piece of inspiration, go to:

http://www.businessballs.com/desideratapoem.htm

Love is all that matters...

Sometimes I just "get" life!  The reason for it, the grand design.....then the ridiculous pettiness we waste time on makes me just want to laugh!

I remember that the only thing that is really important...is Love.

How we relate to each other and ourselves.  Does it really matter who is "right"?  That's ego.

I remember to Trust....that everything is unfolding as it should...that everything I need will be provided. 

I let go of attachments and I feel lighter and brighter.

I let go of having to Do anything in particular....and it frees me up to just Be Who I Really Am.  In that state, I feel more productive if I choose to be.  Operating from a center of Love makes all tasks joyful.


Now if I could just remember all of this!! 

Loving my Life...

I am so in Love with my Life...my husband, my children, my friends, my home, the different communities we are involved in.  I feel so very grateful!

Yesterday, one of our neighbours gave us some lemons from their lemon tree.  The tree is located at their house nearby...they don't live there, they much prefer the caravan life so they have other people living in their house.  Our neighbours go over and tend to the garden when they need to or if they are passing by, they will harvest some of the fruit.  They have an abundance of lemons at the moment and were happy to share with everyone here.  Nicholas loves to make lemonade so he did that, and we also made vegan lemon poppy seed muffins.  Soooo good!  Of course we took some over to our neighbours that had given us the lemons, and we gave some to another neighbour who always brings us bread as she works at a bakery. 

Cary and another neighbour swap books and then stand in the middle of the road chatting about them...and setting the world right of course too!

I just love the relaxed, supportive community that we have here at the campground.  Nothing is forced.  Interactions are as much or as little as we want.  They are genuine, "this is me - you like or you don't...not my problem".  I feel no self-consciousness walking around, still in my PJ's in the middle of the day if I want to.

I love our community of other Natural Learning families and the commitment we have to support each other.  The women in this group are amazing!  We can talk about anything and everything and feel fully supported and nourished by the love and encouragement there.

I am blessed with other beautiful, spiritual, friends in other circles.  We are each others teachers and students and they contribute to my depth and my expansion.

Of course, the reason and the delight and the stars and the moon and all of the sparkly special, wonderful purpose for my life is my own little family and what we create every single day.  I am so honoured to be Cary's wife and my children's mama!  I am in awe of the people my children are already.  I am so deeply happy to be sharing this with Cary!  Our 18 year journey hasn't always been smooth, but I am so grateful that we stuck it out and got over the rough patches to get to this place of deeper love, commitment, respect and gratitude. 

Life is so sweet! 

Feeling...

Cary pointed out that I haven't posted on here for a while.  Hmmm...I haven't had much to say, and I've been busy with life, celebrating two December birthdays in our family, Christmas prep and just Being.  I started this blog years ago with the intention of posting about our family life so that our extended family and friends could get a taste of our lives and stay connected.  But it became more of an online journal for me.  After many years of keeping my own written journals, it was a bit scary to put some of my deep thoughts in such a public place...but the more I did it, the easier it became, and the more confident I felt overall.  It seemed that by allowing my thoughts to become public, I was no longer afraid of my own judgement of them.  I was surprised when friends, family and strangers would contact me to support me or ...wow...even say that I had inspired them!   I worked though some limiting stuff about my own "worth".  I am so amazed at how widespread that challenge is.  So many people feel a lack of worth, and very few of them talk about it, holding it in, thinking that they are the only one.  Why do so many feel this, and why do they feel that they can't talk about it?

I have known people that I assumed were very confident and "had it all together".  I admired how they could express themselves verbally, and many other talents they have.   I later found out that they too, feel a lack of worth.  Look at so many celebrities that have ended their lives early - why would they do that if they did not think that they deserved  all that they had?  I have never been one for spoken verbosity, and I used to think that I was "less than" others who did have that talent.  In recent years I totally let go of that limiting belief ... I fully embrace my quiet nature!  (Though I can be loud and fiery too!)   Some people are "talkers", some are "thinkers"....Me?  I'm a "feeler".  I FEEL life...I FEEL love....I interpret living primarily through feeling.  There have been times when I have felt life a foreigner speaking a different language....English is my second language, Feeling is my first.  I have a deeply sensual appreciation for all of my senses - the warmth of the sun, playing in the water, walking barefoot on the sand, touch, listening to music, eating a mango, mmm kissing!  I am triggered though when the air is cool and the air is dry, I know that I am happier when I feel warm.

I feel other peoples energy and I don't always feel the need to use words to connect with them.  I like that - the comfortable silence between friends when you can connect energetically.  I really like who I am and how I am in the world.  I like that I feel life.  I like that I don't have to talk about every single thing....I actually find verbosity somewhat exhausting now.  Even though I find it hard to make small talk, I can speak rather passionately about the things that move me.  I prefer to talk about the depth of experiences rather than what I'm having for dinner.   That's why I don't post a lot on facebook either...I don't see the point in reporting on so many little moments of my life as some people do, when I can just be feeling, experiencing those moments deeply as they are happening. (I'm not judging those people, I appreciate that we are all different...it's just not for me is all.)   I'm not trying to promote myself or build a business...my purpose here is simply to Be in Joy.  I don't need anyone's validation, I don't need to analyse every step, I am just living free!

 I am aware of other work  I would like to do when my children are grown, but there is plenty of time for that.  I love the smorgasbord of work and life experiences that I have already had, and they lead me to a place of being very grateful and content.

I am happy with who I am and I don't feel any need to "fix" any thing about me!  I don't feel the pull to write as often as I used to.  I am grateful for the amazing friends I have and how we can talk about anything and everything.   We trust each other, we laugh, we cry, we swirl deeply into any subject, we support and don't judge.  They are such a beautiful, nourishing gift in my life!

I am grateful for my journey....I enjoy being here, now... I have Love, I have Joy, I have my biggest teachers - my husband and children...I love what our family has created and Who we all are.  I'm feeling very balanced overall.  A few little highs and lows along the path, but nothing like the dramatic me as a teen and 20-something!  What a ride it has been! 

I don't remember a particular point where I gave up feeling unworthy, it was just something I quietly let go of.  As I moved into an awareness that I just don't feel that anymore,  I realised that I actually haven't felt that unworthy feeliing for quite a while.  It is totally gone. 

So where does that feeling of "not worthy" stem from?  Is it ego?  Is it a product of this society?  The pressure to "do"...to get good grades, to obey rules we don't understand, to conform, to "behave", to follow the main stream and in the process, deny ourselves?  Isn't denial of ourselves the highest form of denial?   Why do people choose a path that they assume is just for the benefit of other people?

What if...everyone felt confident enough to follow a path of happiness?  To feel free enough to express themselves authentically?  To take responsibility for the state of their life?   To wake up and realise that all of this is possible...right now?!   To choose to live in love and joy.  To realise that material objects don't bring  happiness - that's something that only an inner choice can bring.  What a wonderful world! 

Gratitude

That's my word of the season.  For many years my word was 'Peace'.  I surrounded myself with words, music, pictures and colours that would remind me of that, and until I eventually started to own it.  I've played with other guide words since then, but they didn't affect me the way that Peace, and now Gratitude have.

For quite a while I've been saying that I'm grateful for (something) and I really have been.  I've been deeply touched by periods of immense gratitude for the joys of life.  I've noticed that during those times, I also felt aligned with the deep calm within, and felt in tune with the song of my spirit. 

I feel that owning Peace opened me more to Trusting the unfolding of life, and to accepting the things that are beyond my control.  In being more aware of all that I am grateful for, I can take that deeper to living more consistently with Joy.  Whether that Joy is the quiet fullness of my heart, or the crazy, jumping up-and-down, let-me-at-it pull towards an adventure or a moment, I am living with it more often. 

I had a lot of external 'peaceful' stimulus around me when I was learning to adopt Peace into myself.  On this Gratitude journey, I am finding that I just need to remember to pause and reflect on any of the things I am grateful for.  It's triggered from within.  Then the Joy radiates out.  And I am so grateful for that!

unexpected turn

Just as I settled into accepting that we were not getting out of our house in April to go traveling, and felt comfortable with the idea of staying in the house for at least several months beyond that....shift happens!  I had plans for the extra things I was going to do in the house...looking forward to the cooler weather coming up and doing more baking and crafts.  We moved things around and the house was feeling really good and more settled.  Ha!  We found out late yesterday that the house we are renting is going on the market for sale.  As we are on a week-to-week lease now, that gives a lot of uncertainty.  When we first got the news, Cary and I laughed at how delightful the Universe can be!  Maybe we are actually meant to go traveling after all!  We both felt incredibly calm, knowing that things were unfolding exactly as they are meant to.  We felt the alignment and knew it would all be good. 

As I tried to sleep last night, I found myself awake at 2:30am thinking of all of the little tasks involved with getting out of the house.  I'm glad I didn't start working on the vege garden again as I had planned on doing.  I'm glad we have already downsized somewhat, and I had already partly packed some boxes to go into storage.  I'm really glad we decided to keep Gypsy...that little dog is definitely a part of the family.  Several months ago we had been thinking that it may be kinder to rehome her instead of trying to travel with her.  Our biggest concern was leaving her stuck inside the camper on days when we couldn't take her with us somewhere, or the lack of a backyard for her to run freely and having to have her tied up outside.  We are working on training her so that life will be easier for her and us.  We adore her....and think we gave her the right name to be a traveling doggy!

So many other details to consider...

Ahhh...Trusting...Breathing....trying to not let my head take over and steal the Joy of the unfolding adventure.

Just another day...

These are the kind of things that polka dot our days with joy...

Cary won a raffle for this box of goodies:

A couple of circus players came to our homeschool park day for a relaxed lesson with hoops and pois and twirling sticks and different kinds of juggling.  Their slack line was a huge hit and in this pic, Nicholas is being helped along it by two of his friends:

We found this fun see-sawing thing that went around as well as up and down:

 

AJ learning how to crack a whip:

 

Bounty from the farmers market:

arty pineapple pic:

The green fruit is a sapote (chocolate pudding fruit) which actually taste nothing like chocolate, but the inside does look like chocolate pudding.  They are yummy!

Silk dying with friends:

Free tickets to the pro basketball game:

Nicholas lost his first tooth!

AJ's basketball presentation:

Summer's birthday party:

Boys and Gypsy at the beach.  They found a large hole that someone had dug and were laughing that Gypsy was in her own hot tub!  Gypsy quite likes the water!

Nicholas drew this spiral on the beach.  I love his little footprints around it:

Delicious Simplicity...

Ah the simple joys just keep on rolling...

This week we rode our bikes to a local playground to meet up with a homeschooling group that we'd never met with before.  We were delighted that there were lots of older kids in the group and Summer made a new friend which she was thrilled about.  The other groups we go to seem to have more older boys than girls.  She doesn't mind playing with the boys, but it is nice for her to have a girl for a friend too. 

On the way home, it started raining a little bit.  We only had about a mile to go so we kept on going.  I could have thought "oh no..we're all going to get wet...it might be slippery...will the kids be ok?".  But I didn't.  I saw my jeans getting darker as the big fat raindrops coloured them...and all I could feel was JOY!  I whooped and laughed at how delicious it felt to be in the fairly warm rain, riding our bikes, feeling free!  The kids picked up on that and started laughing with delight too.

We went home and got into some warm clothes.  For me, I got into my pyjamas.  AJ wanted to go to the library so we went.  Yep, I went to the library in my pj's.  Mind you, to the outside observer, they probably looked like yoga clothes, except that I usually wear a bra to yoga.  Again, I felt a sense of freedom, of really just not caring what anyone else thought.  And that freedom of self is absolutely delicious!

How are you?

What do you really mean when you ask someone "how are you?".  Are you asking about their physical health?  Mental health?  Busyness?  What? 

I often just resort to the answer "I'm good...how are you?".  But then what do I mean by that?  "I'm good"...my body may be healthy, but my mind may be scattered, my connection to myself way out of balance, but still I say that "I am good". 

Have you ever answered the question with a totally un-normal, unexpected reply to "how are you?"?  Like "I am absolutely fantastic, thanks for asking..."  or "I am amazingly wonderful".  If you have, you'll notice that people often stop for a second and look at you, perhaps a little envious, perhaps trying to figure out if you're on something or just not quite 'right' in the head. 

Asking "how are you" seems like a quick, polite way to connect to someone, but then do we really have the time to hear if the answer turns out to be a long drawn out reply about how the person really is?  What they may be feeling physically or emotionally?   Some of our elderly neighbours love to do that, and I am happy to listen to them.  I enjoy the time that we connect to these interesting women.  My children get a little restless, but they get to see me being patient and kind to others and can choose whether they want to incorporate that into their lives.  If it turns out that whoever I ask is experiencing some kind of pain, be it physical or emotional, that they want to share, I aim to be present for them in sharing that, and I try to project calm, loving energy to them to help them deal with that.

Asking the check out operator at the local store "how are you?" has resulted in one word answers, so in an attempt to connect a little more with those I interact with, I try asking different questions like "what's the best thing about your day so far?".

So many of us are so very busy...what would it be like if we all just slowed down a little and thought about really connecting with everyone we meet, even if just for a moment?  Giving a gift of your time and your energy instead of a standard question that you may not even mean?

When I ask someone that I do know that question, I generally mean...how is your physical health / what have you been up to / what's new? These are all the "safe" topics we were taught to believe are the right way to start a conversation.

What I really want to know, is "what is making your heart sing today?"

I want to know where people's JOY is.  I want to connect IN joy.  I want to interact in a way that will encourage people to touch their own joy, even for a moment. 

I am still working on ways to do this more often, working through old conditionings that I no longer want.

The thing I have found though...is that if I am not feeling connected to my own Joy, it is really hard to help others see theirs.

If you are not too busy, please leave a comment or send me an email rawmum at yahoo dot com...and tell me the best thing about your day today and / or what is making your heart sing...

Thank you...

In Joy...
Annette

Awe.Some!

As we put another $70 worth of petrol in the car, I knew we had been getting lazy...taking the car to the store, the post office or the park instead of riding bikes. I knew I had to change things, at least for myself. I had to get back to being more aware of the choices I make. Not just for the environment, but also for my own health and fitness.

Last week Cary and AJ went to the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary that is one suburb away from us. They went on the Green Challenge which is a treetops ropes course. They loved it so much that Cary insisted we get a years membership for the whole family. Yesterday we signed up and I got to have a go. Oh. My. Golly. That was soooooo much fun! I just loved loved loved it! I felt so free! We get an extra discount for being locals so the cost for the entire family for the year was cheaper than a gym membership for just one of us. Plus, we are outside working out, having fun, communing with nature and listening to the birds and animals which I'll take any day over a noisy, smelly gym! We do plan riding our bikes there once we get Cary another bike. Apart from the ropes courses, there are many Australian birds and animals to view and interact with and a fantastic playground for the smaller kids.

Nicholas on the flying fox in the playground:

Summer going for a stroll through the trees :

Me, dancing in the treetops (Cary said I looked happier in the trees than I did on the ground. I really felt so relaxed up there.)

AJ & I hanging around:


We got to tarzan-swing onto a net that we then had to climb up. There were so many different, very cool challenges! Poles to walk over, swinging planks, tubes to crawl through, nets, ladders, zip lines etc. I did all of the courses except for the extreme 'black' course. I'll leave that one until my strength improves.

AJ zipping along...

This one was a bit tough, each step was a swing:

Summer had been unsure about doing the course, but she took her time, and would tell herself "I am strong" whenever she felt unsure. She did the beginners course, and I was very proud of her, and more importantly, she was proud of herself! She is looking forward to doing it again.

Our family is so thrilled to have this membership and to support the Wildlife Sanctuary who do a lot to encourage environmental awareness. I am looking forward to getting fitter and stronger in such a playful way! This really honours my needs for freedom and adventure and family fun!

lovin' this life!

The things I love most about this lifestyle is the freedom and flexibility and connection! I so love being able to be spontaneous, to be open to new opportunities as they arise...there is so much joy in life in every moment! Yes, even when the kids are squabbling...these are the moments that can test us the most in this department as they are great challenges in staying connected to ourselves and our children. They are great lessons in staying calm and present to help our children work through these moments so they can all feel heard and respected. Sometimes I am better at this than other times.

I've learned that it is ok to be a little selfish, meaning that I need to take time for me to recharge and center myself. In giving myself a little time, I can give a whole lot more time and focus to my children. When I do this, when I feel balanced, our days flow with delight. Every time I help my kids work out a challenge, I feel that actually helps us all to become stronger. So even though it might be loud or messy, it can be fantastic.

I love the passion of this life - of being "allowed" to express our emotions in all of their intensity. I love the connection we have, really listening to each other and aiming to find ways to meet needs and desires. Last week we spent a day driving around our area looking for a particular PS2 game that AJ reallllly wanted. The other two kids understood how much that meant to AJ and were happy to go along. (AJ had bought a game with some birthday money, it didn't work and he was disappointed. The replacement game didn't work either so we went to another store which was supposed to have it but had just sold it and then to another store which found one in the back room - phew!)

When I am in balance, which is happily more often than not, I feel so full, so blessed. Some days I feel like I am going to burst with joy! My children feel that and we all have a grand ol goofy time together. I have so much to be grateful for.

Today we are heading out to meet friends to go snorkeling and then...who knows where we'll end up? So many adventures waiting to happen....

Shining...

I think I have the verbal runs at the moment. After being kind of quiet on this blog, I'm processing where I'm at now and I feel like I'm through the muck and back on top again. Thanks for listening.

Thinking about what I wrote last time, I honestly know that I do not have to focus more on one area of my life to promote, maybe make a business out of, and become some kind of 'expert' in.

I have many sides and, like a diamond, they all work together to make me shine as brightly as I do. It is not my path to focus on one area, and it is only when I am out of balance that I start to compare myself to others and start thinking that I "should" settle down and do something like that. But that is just not me. I love the adventure of life, the smorgasboard of experiences and it is when I am living the joy of that, and sharing that with my family and friends, that I shine the brightest.

Things in my life like Reiki and Reflexology are tools that I use to enhance where I am at. My main purpose right now, is to be the grandest expression of my Self so that I can be the best Mama / wife / sister / daughter / friend I can be.

I was starting to get a little frustrated with myself as these feelings I've been writing about recently...well, I am pretty sure I've written about them before. I started to imagine things like "oh the people that read this are going to get so bored with me repeating myself!". But it's okay. Because I see this journey of life like a spiral and maybe some of the path bumps into another part where I was feeling these same things. Knowing that I've been there before...and gotten through it...just makes it easier the next time. So I bump into that part of the cycle and then remember some of the mental processes I used for getting through it, and it's like it's over with quicker each time before I get flung off on another exciting part of the journey. Even if it looks a little similar to before...I can still make it feel fresh and new by being in the moment of it, breathing it in deeply, and being oh so grateful for it all!

So, I don't have to focus on one area. I feel the most inspired when I am doing exactly what I wrote at the top of this blog page - Living in harmony with the earth, in Joy with each other, and in touch with Spirit.

I love my free-spirit life! I love this lifestyle for my family! I really love being a Mama.

Oh my golly, "the world" is so very very busy around us. It's so easy to get caught up in 'having to keep busy'. I sometimes think that what I am 'doing' is more important that what I am Being.
Thanks to processing this confusion on this blog (even if I've done it before), I am proud to say that I am back on track and back in the business of JOY! Long may it reign! (If I do happen to slip, be a pal and remind me please.)

Whatever I 'do' from this moment forth, is never as important as who I will 'Be'. And that, dear friends...is where my main area of focus needs to be. Whatever I 'do' from that state, is secondary, .... if I am to become an 'expert' in any field, let it be in Joy!

Happy Holidays!

I have a stack of Christmas cards on my desk but have not gotten around to writing on any of them. What on earth have I been doing?!!

Cary is coming home tomorrow!!!!! He will be here until May.

In case I don't get the cards written and sent...please know that I wish everyone a very happy and joy-full holiday season.

Yay!

I am so excited - the morning air seems to have lost its crispness! There is a definite warmth underlying the first cool breath of morning air. Summer is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: How do bees travel?

I write my best blog posts while I'm still in bed with my eyes closed. When I try to remember them when I actually get up, it's like they get shaken off with the last bits of sleep.

Often I sit down to write but then I get interrupted a whole bunch of times and what comes out in the end is something different to what I had thought would come out. So often I feel as though my posts lack something because I haven't been able to maintain my thought track while writing. But then I wondered - why am I blogging? ? ... I blog because it's easier than writing 20+ emails at a time to tell family and friends what we've been up to. I blog because I've kept a diary since I was about age 10 and I've always enjoyed the release of writing. I blog because maybe someone else out there might be feeling the same way and it's always comforting to know you're not alone. And maybe, some of the things we do might even inspire someone else to follow their dreams.

My realisation from yesterday has had me wondering....How can I maintain my balance and the wonderful state I feel when living a simple life? How can I keep that mindset when life gets more complicated? What is it that causes me to lose balance and slip into old patterns?

I know some of the physical reasons that I get off balance - insufficient sleep, not eating enough or eating the wrong kinds of things, not enough water, not enough exercise and lots of things that have to be done. BUT, it is ultimately my thought processes behind all of those things that lead me to have a magical day or a miserable day. So, how do I maintain that peaceful, connected, joyful mindset I have when I am truly living a simple life? And, is it possible to maintain that when my life is not-so-simple?

I think it comes down to awareness. Remembering to balance too much doing with time out to BE and touch base with how I am. Even just to take a moment to go within and see how I feel. I think I should have done that more in the past few of weeks. To make sure I didn't slip into old patterns. To remind myself it's ok to take a break. To remind myself of the kind of example I want to be for my kids. Do I want them to associate stress with being cranky or with being calm? I know all this stuff. I just forget sometimes. But, my forgetting times are getting further and further apart and for that, I know that I am better than I used to be and I will not beat myself up.

I am back to feeling so alive! So excited! The material stuff around me does not matter. The things to do will get done. Or not. Either way, it's ok. It really is all good!

And now, a word from AJ who has been next to me reading animal jokes:

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment

And the answer to the title of this blog: They take the buzz!

It just doesn't matter

It doesn't matter if other cars speed past me on the highway.

It doesn't matter if I put the sheets on the bed upside down.

It doesn't matter if I buy the wrong butter one week.

The necessary paperwork in life is not important. It is needed in order to function in this life and get things done, but there is no need to stress over it. You either want the thing at the other end of the paperwork (a loan, a passport, a business deal, taxes accounted for, etc), or you don't. Just figure out if not having those things would ultimately create more discomfort down the track.

It doesn't matter if other people have more money / power/ eloquence / style / etc than me. There will always be people with more and less of everything compared to me. It does not matter. If I compare myself with others, I will create unnecessary discomfort within myself which will hold me back from Being the very best that I can.

The very Best I can Be.

Being in touch with my essence, following my dreams and my instincts of what is right for me. Living and enjoying each moment like it is the most precious thing there is. Appreciating this breath that makes it all possible. Expanding my heart and love for this life. Living with detachment from the material possessions and problems. Such lightness comes and joy explodes from my core to the stars. Such a beautiful day, such a beautiful moment, such a beautiful breath.