My evolution...

This blogging journey has been interesting.  For me anyway.  Recently, I randomly selected some old posts and it's been interesting to read them and see what was going on in my life then.  Some made me laugh out loud.  Some made me a little sad.  Some made me smile, and some made me think "what the...?"!

I can see some patterns.  Some breakthroughs.  Some times when lessons were repeated, so maybe I didn't always "get" them to the degree that I thought that I did at the time.  Maybe life is just so full at times, that it's easy to get distracted from remembering to stay present, or to fill myself with love all of the time, or to write five things that I'm grateful for every single day.  Or whatever I think that I "should" be doing.

I had a poster of the following 'Ten Rules for Being Human' on my wall when I was a teenager.  It was near my 'Desiderata' poster.  Such wonderful inspiration to share my days with!   I have often remembered, and quoted, parts of both.  Mostly to myself.   It's number 10 on the Rules that always gets me though!

Argh!  Just when I think I've got it, Number 10 strikes again!!

It has taken repetition, and a gradual chipping away at some old patterns.  It has taken me forgetting on a conscious level, so that, when the lesson appears again, I can go deeper into remembering.

I think that all of the "big" lessons for me, have really how to incorporate all of those "little" lessons into my very Being.

Hmm, into my very Being.

That's it!   They become a part of the way that we are, the way that we live every moment.  So then we no longer have to consciously remember them.

Some lessons take longer to incorporate.  That chipping away at old patterns.
Some might hit us with full force after a sudden awareness, which may or may not be triggered by a major event in our life.

Remember to be gentle with the process. Because learning lessons does not end, as long as we are still breathing!

Remember that all that really matters, is love.

Love is our Soul Purpose.

And that you have all of the tools and resources and answers within you already to know how to live that!

This moment...

I'm sitting at my desk, listening to the birds outside of my window. It's a little chilly this morning but looks like it's going to be a beautiful sunny day. It's not long since we left the USA. Our last weeks were so full - not just with things we did, but with joy and love. We flew to Baltimore and stayed with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Kent - such a warm and wonderful visit..thank you so much for everything! We were able to spend extra time with Cary's Dad and sister before going to a very fun family reunion. We were so happy that we went on this trip, it was so special to reconnect with family members we had not seen for many years.

During our last week in Vegas, we spent as much time as possible with friends and Cary. I don't remember the details of all of the things we did, but I do remember the feelings of connecting and my heart feeling joyful.

Since returning here, I have maintained that feeling. I'm especially grateful for family and friends. And sunshine and the ocean and birds and bugs...

44 - Being More

A year ago when I turned 43, I declared that it was "time for ME to just BE". It was an excellent year. Lots of breakthroughs and releasing which brought me to an awareness of how to BE.

Now that I'm 44, my focus is on "BEing MORE". Going deeper....staying in the state of Being longer...bringing that awareness into even more areas of my life.

I am calm, I am strong, I am excited.

surfin' for peace

A couple of nights of insufficient sleep...days spent being busy with three busy, noisy children....trying to quieten my mind - it used to be so easy, what happened? I think my mind has gotten so used to being surrounded by chatter and interruptions that that's what I get even when I wake up in the middle of the night. Several days ago it all led to a build up of frustration. We all went to the beach with me in a bit of a grey mood despite the brilliant sunshine. As we were walking there, the smells of frangipani's filled the air and I started feeling better.

The ocean was rough - dumping waves and a strong rip. The water was so clean and clear and a perfect temperature. We swam where the lifeguards were and oh boy oh boy was that ever what I needed to clear my head! There is nothing like a good body bash in the waves! What a fantastic workout. We stayed in pretty close to shore, away from the waves breaking after Summer and AJ both got dumped. Ah the power of Mother Nature! Walking through the water, against the rip was a great leg workout. The whole thing was really. The next day when we went to the beach, the ocean was back to being more gentle with easy breaking waves and no rip.

I just love being so close to the ocean! Being in the ocean, and being on the shore looking at the ocean, it's so easy for me to just BE, the chatter slows right down and calm comes to me, even when I'm right in the middle of a breaking wave - that's pure joy to me!

Doing Being

Last week I found myself falling into old patterns of 'doing'. Getting into a rhythm with the children with all of their new classes and social time with other homeschoolers, as well as all of the other things that are involved with running a household, started to get me a little twisted. With Cary away and all of the responsibility on me, friends I've spoken with have been supportive and tried to tell me that I was behaving in a way that was quite understandable.

But not for me.

I know there is a calmer way for me, a more peaceful place to operate from. It's a subtle shift within me. One that comes from a place of Trust in God, Acceptance, Gratitude, Love, a feeling of connection with all, Service and ultimately, Joy.

I am better at remembering all of this when I'm getting enough sleep, eating well and taking some time every day to do something for myself.

Yesterday I found myself starting to get a little wound up with catching up on things around here. I was able to see the old pattern emerging and stopped it, saying "this is not Who I Am". I put some camp chairs outside and went and sat in the sun with my feet up and just immersed myself in the moment. Ahh... After about 10 minutes, I went on to finish the housework etc...joyfully. It was amazing how much more I seemed to get done. In the afternoon, the kids and I spent an hour or so at the creek, playing in the sand, came home for a bath, dinner and an evening playing cards after Nicholas was asleep.

Definitely Being is a better place for me! I like me so much better when I'm in that state as it's Who I Really Am, there is no inner conflict. Peace.