Slow down...

"Can you slow down please Mom?", said my 11 year old son as he reached out to hold my hand.

We were walking along the beach, soon after the sunrise.

We often did this.  For me, it was a dual purpose activity.  Get some exercise for me and whoever else came along with me, and spending time in nature.

I didn't realise how often the first reason dominated.

There I was, fast walking through the soft sand as I'd done so many times before.  I look at the rising sun, the waves, the sprinkling of seashells.  And I think that I'm doing myself a favour by grounding myself while also pushing myself to walk fast, to see if I can break a little sweat.  To look for the softest sand to walk in as that's more challenging.  To get my main workout for the day over and done with.

And encouraging my kids to do the same.  Not so much with my words, but definitely with my actions.

I started "exercising" in my teens, though I'd always been pretty active anyway.  I studied fitness, health, nutrition.  I worked in the fitness industry.  Also from my teens, I read books on mind-body-spirit connection and spirituality.

I thought that I "got" it.  To some degree, I did.  Sometimes, much more than others.

But today, I got a deeper lesson.  From one of my greatest teachers.  My son.  Who, at almost 12 years old, still loves to hold my hand and have long chats with me.

All that I had to do, was to slow down.

I remembered that I need to let go of control...and surrender to another way.  It's okay for me to stop rushing, and moving fast.  I'm not going to seize up, or turn into a blob if I stop walking fast all the time.  In fact, I might even firm up and trim down as I won't be constantly creating stress in my body which only encourages the body to hold onto weight.

I was so focused on the exercise portion of the morning, that I was down-playing the JOY factor.

Thankfully, I listened to my teacher.

So, we played.

We took turns playing follow-the-leader where the person in front walks all kinds of silly ways, and the person following, has to try and step into their footprints in exactly the same way. It always ends in lots of giggles.

We climbed on the boulders.

We wrote in the sand.

We played at the edge of the water, jumping and stomping through the shallow water.

I got a lesson in balance, and in the importance of JOY!

My body felt happy just because it was moving in a playful way.  The effect was longer-lasting both physically and mentally, than if I had pushed myself to work hard.

There is so much emphasis on results, that we often forget that the process is what's really important.

The happiest times of my life, were when I lived that.  When I was not even focused on "living in Joy".  When our days consisted of play, and movement, and nature, and just Being, and without even trying, or thinking about it, I was living in a state of Joy.

I know that I've lived it before.  I know that I can do it again.

Thankfully, I have a great teacher who will remind me!

I'm not going to stop doing intense workouts.   There is something really empowering about pushing myself to go a bit further, or harder, or to lift heavier.  But I will aim to remember to not take it all too seriously, and to have fun and enJOY the process.  Perhaps I'll even stop referring to them as "workouts", and instead call it "play time" to remind me of where my focus would better serve me.

There is so much freedom in letting go of control!

When I get out of my head and the shoulds, musts, have tos, blah blah....and let my heart lead.  Then.  Then there is Joy.

It's so simple, yet we make it so damn complicated some times!    Just remembering how simple it is, makes me feel lighter.  I'm sitting here laughing at myself and this whole crazy life!!

sandcastles...

I haven't been blogging due to:
a)   finally some decent summer weather and lots of play time at the beach or creek;
b)  a surprise visit from my sister and niece;

c)  reaching saturation point from packing and sorting and putting everything related to such tasks on hold in favour of more playtime;

d)  painfully slow internet service;
e)  all of the above.

If you guessed e), give yourself 100 points for whatever you want!


I will get around to downloading photos still hibernating in different devices for the past 4+ weeks, but in the meantime, check out the sandcastle below!

                                                                                                        and this knight..

 

Here AJ is standing next to the knight sculpture, the castle next to it was made the day before and is half washed away.  The man that does these spends a week at a holiday apartment on the beachfront every year and spends every day building a new sculpture.  The conditions were not great this year due to so much rain, so I only saw these two done.

Washed up on the beach:

In other news, Summer and I have joined the local pool / gym.  My home fitness plan has not been as effective as I would have liked.  I am really stoked about getting back into a gym!  We've already been just to swim laps, but this coming week we're going to hit the weight room and a bunch of different classes as well.   I stopped working as a Personal fitness trainer when I was pregnant with Summer and for 12 years my 'gym' was the 24/7 of lifting and carrying babies and little children, pushing strollers, piggybacks and all of the busy-ness that goes with life with young children.  I am definitely in a different phase of my mothering career now.  One that isn't so physically demanding.  I need that though - I love having a strong body and challenging myself to push it a little more.  I'm really looking forward to moving the weights and feeling my muscles come back to life.  Like sculpting a beautiful sandcastle.  I know it will take time, and I know that if I don't pay attention to it, it will slip away again.  But the creation is going to be so fun!

Personal Training myself..

In my life BC (before children), I worked as a Personal fitness trainer and Aerobics instructor (and a part time gig as a Reiki practitioner as well which kind of balanced my energy - the physical / mental of the fitness work with the Spiritual of the Reiki work).  Anyway...back then, I could not quite figure out why it was so hard to motivate some of my clients.  Well guess what?  I have become my clients!  Middle aged, extra pounds, and very little motivation.  I have recognised this in me for several months now and well, haven't been very motivated to do anything about it.  Until now...my body just does not seem as efficient as it used to be and I know I need to move more to fix that.

So I accessed my former self and asked her to come up with a fitness plan that would suit my needs for simplicity, time-efficiency and fun while improving my fitness.  What she came back with is something I think will actually work!

60 minutes of something aerobic per day.  Preferably something like a 30+ minute bike ride or hike with the family in the morning and a 30+ minute walk to the beach and along the soft sand (for an extra workout), by myself so I can listen to a podcast or some groovy music.  Yes, that's do-able.  I need to also work on my strength now that I no longer lift little children throughout the day.  On days that I don't do the Green Challenge, I will aim to work up to doing 50 each of squats, push ups and crunches.  This week though, I am telling myself I only need to do one set of 10 reps of each (slowly).  If I miss a day then I need to do an extra set the next day.  Oh yeah, I'm a tough coach! (I'm not even going to think of how pathetic this programe is compared to what I used to do!)  I never have to do more than 50 of each, but when that is too easy, then I need to do them very very slowly and / or with extra weight.  Those three exercises cover all of the main muscle groups. Doing the Green Challenge seems to find any others I may have missed!   I'm grateful that my PT self came up with the three exercises plan - simple and brilliant!

One good thing about being older while working with this programme is that I don't feel fanatical about it.  I fit the exercise in around everything else.  And I am gentle with myself too.  I accept that I am getting older and my metabolism has changed and I know that in order to age more easily, I need to do this.  I believe that flexibility is also important so I will work in some stretching and yoga wherever possible.  Looking forward to a fitter future and longer paddles in my kayak!

Need vs Want pt 2

As a PS to my previous post, ... at first it was interesting to look around the shops here, to see old familiar products and foods that we used to get, to see what was new. But I also found it overwhelming as there are just so many more shops and people and choices here. I did start going to old favourite discount stores but then I couldn't wait to get out. The thrift stores here used to be a good place to get a bargain and I can't believe how much their prices have gone up. When I'm in Australia, I tend to shop more consciously. I was definitely more of a random consumer when I lived here before. I think I justified that with things like "it was such a bargain" or thinking that "I might use it someday" and of course when the kids came along, yard sales were heaven for bringing out my own inner child and buying toys and things that 'I' wanted to play with. I'm grateful for that experience, and I'm grateful for realising that living a life with less material stuff actually makes my life feel fuller and richer.

Moving on...

A couple of weeks ago I had a moment when it hit me that I'm getting older. Cary held me and gently said "we are getting older...let's do it gracefully". His words reminded me to accept this stage, this time, this moment. In acceptance of this fact, I can be more gentle with myself, more content with myself and perhaps from that will flow grace towards all areas of my life. It does not mean I'm going to sit back in the rocker and watch the parade of life, but I will continue to seek adventures and find joy with a deeper appreciation for those things.

My current goal is improving my health and fitness which have declined a bit since we moved back into a house and got less active. Most days I've been using the fitness room here, and doing some yoga and swimming. I've also been drinking green smoothies again thanks to Cary for buying me a new Vita-Mix 5200!

I bought a used Vita-Mix years ago which has had a ton of use. It is my favourite kitchen 'thing'. Cooking doesn't thrill me (gee, if it did, I probably would have bought a bunch of those knives at that yard sale I wrote about in the previous post, and I would have known that they were good quality). I like simple food with not a whole lot of variety. My favourite type of food has always been fruit and I love the way the vita-mix makes smooth smoothies out of whole fruit in just a few seconds. I also use it to make batters for waffles, salad dressings, fresh pasta sauce and soups. I have the extra container on my old machine, which will also work on the new one, that is for 'dry' needs such as grinding flour. It's pretty much the only gadget I need in the kitchen. (Except for maybe one plain old sharp knife.)

So was the V-M purchase satisfying a need or a want? Maybe both. I want to spend less time in the kitchen. I want to find ways for the whole family to enjoy eating more whole foods. I need help in that department! I need to improve my own health and I want to enjoy the process. I know I mentioned the green smoothies which are such an easy way to pack in natural vitamins and minerals. My current favourite recipe is: 2 cups water, large handful of organic baby spinach, 3 bananas and 1/2 cup each of frozen pineapple and mango. After working up a sweat on the treadmill, this drink has me feeling revived and ready for the rest of the day.

So maybe the 'need vs want' justification can be transcended when a purchase is primarily an investment, especially in our own health - in this case mental and physical.

playing is to fitness as living is to learning

For 12 years my body has been either pregnant &/or nursing. That phase is coming to an end with nursing only happening around bedtime these days. Therefore, my need for extra calories has decreased. My jeans are a bit tighter in my thighs and belly as my mind got a hold of that concept after my body did.

For months I have not been carrying Nicholas much as he has gotten much stronger and fitter. Therefore, I have not been getting the extra workout that lifting a child up and down all day gives. My arms are getting softer.

And hey, I am definitely in my 40's so there have been some hormones starting to do different things. Just subtle effects but letting me know that, as much as my mind thinks otherwise, I am just not going to be young forever.

So basically, my metabolism has slowed down. I accept this and choose to do something about it rather than get upset by the few extra pounds. The best way to rev it up is by exercise. Not just for the physical benefits, but the mental ones as well. For a former personal trainer, you'd think this would be a natural. But I find myself with the mindset of my former clients "ugh...will this take long?..". But then I think about it and remember the high that comes after a really good workout and the buzz that comes from having a fit and toned body. So that encourages me to get some kind of extra movement in every day.

I am lucky to have two young boys who NEED to run and play and muck about. If they don't have a daily outlet for this, they will go absolutely feral about 6:45pm, just as I'm sitting down to relax. Our girl also needs the exercise for her own health, but she has very little internal drive to get it. Well, unless it involves swimming or biking or swimming or an easy hike or swimming. So we aim to find a way we can all enjoy fun movement together. Even if we can't swim every day.

We've had a lot of rain lately so we've been a bit slack and stayed home. Yesterday we went for a drive through some of the countryside near us, fantasising about where we might want to live. Then we stopped at an overcrowded indoor play center and decided to pass on that. So we went to the undercover playground at the Hungry Jacks / Burger King with our pre-made sandwiches and bottles of water. The kids played for about an hour then I noticed the sky clearing. We went home, chatted with the neighbours for a while then walked to the beach.

It was magnificent! Lots of sea foam from the wild seas due to the recent storms. The beach was actually closed for swimming due to the conditions. I've rarely seen that happen. We ran, we played, we built sandcastles, we drew in the sand, we wore boots of foam and pretended we were walking on the clouds, we saw broken bits that had come from large shells, and pieces of soft coral and a dead puffer-fish (still puffed).

When we were in the caravan, we were out and about all the time. We lived a more active life. Being in the house, we are not as active. In the summer it was easy to be active and cycle and walk and swim. But in the rain, that's a bit harder. So maybe the solution is to just do more when we can. And the thing about going to the beach, and the playgrounds and the hikes is that they don't feel like "exercise". It feels like fun and play and with the added bonus that we all are getting fitter and stronger. So the process of play naturally gives us fitness.

Kind of like unschooling. The lessons of life just manage to work their ways into our days under the disguise of living! Every day we learn more, we grow more, we are more. Our children are free to explore their outer worlds and their inner worlds. It is so exciting to be a part of that, to watch, to listen to their insights, to see them interact with others, to see them at peace with themselves as they do their own thing, to help them when they ask. Sometimes it's a huge lesson in trust and patience for me too, but the joy of seeing them shape their minds and their lives is so worth it.

It's a beautiful day...(rain and all!)