I have often found smalltalk...well, a little challenging. There are some people that it just seems easy with, the conversation just seems to flow. We connect and can talk about any subject either lightly or in depth. Some others though, I find myself scratching for something to talk about, sometimes finding myself saying things that just seem 'not right' for me. Afterwards I might think "why on earth did I say that?". I assume that the other person might think that I am not interested or even maybe not interesting if I don't have a lot to say. It's getting to the point where I am preferring to avoid some social settings so I don't have to be involved in conversations that seem the same repetition of meaningless drivel. (too harsh?)
I am very comfortable with myself and with my silence...when I'm by myself. I'm learning to be comfortable maintaining that in a social situation. I love this quote by Sai Baba:
"Before Speaking, Ask Yourself:
Is It Kind?
Is It Necessary?
Is It True?
Does It Improve On The Silence?"
I choose to live this!
However the question does arise...just what DO you speak about in random social situations? Do you really have to say anything if you don't feel inspired? Other people may feel uncomfortable and say unkind things behind my back. Who knows...maybe they already do?! What others think of me in none of my business! I can only be in control of ME....my state of mind....my inner peace....my balance... and when I can do that, I believe that I will radiate the Love and Peace and Joy that I am feeling.
I found this other great article on 7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak if you are interested in another opinion. Worth a look!
.... I actually wrote that post earlier this year. I've grown quite a bit since then and I no longer judge myself for what I do or don't say. Wow! I had forgotten that I used to do that! It was great to read this post and see how far I've come!