Tuesday, May 18, 2010

An ordinary day...

Today was another magical day! It wasn't that we did anything extraordinary, it was just that we stayed connected and in harmony with each other all day.

AJ has been in a Transformers phase - the movies and the PlayStation 2 game. I was not sure about this when it started as I thought it might be a bit violent, but the action is mostly the robots blowing things up, and I find something strangely satisfying in that. AJ is so into this...I could almost feel a little down on myself for doubting his choice initially - but I'm not going to go there. AJ is so immersed in the game and when we do have to go out, his mind is still going with all of the possibilities and all of the things he is going to build in the future, and other storylines they could come out with. He will talk non-stop for a long time and then go really quiet again before he comes out with another excited commentary of all the wonderful things going on in his mind!

Summer has always liked dressing up and mixing new combinations of clothing and accessories. Recently she's been cutting a lot of her clothes so that a dress became a coat and part of the leg of some stretchy pants became a boob tube...that sort of thing. (I'm glad we buy our clothes at the thrift stores/op shops!) I moved the kids computer out of the office area into her room and she spent quite a while playing on that.

Nicholas loves ...oh, just about everything!

Today everyone got some of their needs and desires met...AJ spent quite a while playing transformers, we went to an op shop and Summer bought some new clothes, we played at a new park where AJ and Nicholas wandered over to where a Dad was playing football and soccer with his kids. The Dad used to be a coach and happily included my boys and showed them how to kick properly. Then we went to a mall and hung out at the Apple store where AJ made some new friends, even if they did mostly communicate via their ipods while standing next to each other! Nicholas said he would really like a dressing gown (bath robe) as it is getting cool here and that would keep him warm and snugly in the mornings and evenings around the house. We found a really warm, black gown with a red dragon on it and he is so thrilled with that!

It was such an ordinary day to anyone looking in, but I had such a great day, feeling so grateful for this experience. Nothing fancy, just pure connection and listening and sharing and respecting.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

lovin' this life!

The things I love most about this lifestyle is the freedom and flexibility and connection! I so love being able to be spontaneous, to be open to new opportunities as they arise...there is so much joy in life in every moment! Yes, even when the kids are squabbling...these are the moments that can test us the most in this department as they are great challenges in staying connected to ourselves and our children. They are great lessons in staying calm and present to help our children work through these moments so they can all feel heard and respected. Sometimes I am better at this than other times.

I've learned that it is ok to be a little selfish, meaning that I need to take time for me to recharge and center myself. In giving myself a little time, I can give a whole lot more time and focus to my children. When I do this, when I feel balanced, our days flow with delight. Every time I help my kids work out a challenge, I feel that actually helps us all to become stronger. So even though it might be loud or messy, it can be fantastic.

I love the passion of this life - of being "allowed" to express our emotions in all of their intensity. I love the connection we have, really listening to each other and aiming to find ways to meet needs and desires. Last week we spent a day driving around our area looking for a particular PS2 game that AJ reallllly wanted. The other two kids understood how much that meant to AJ and were happy to go along. (AJ had bought a game with some birthday money, it didn't work and he was disappointed. The replacement game didn't work either so we went to another store which was supposed to have it but had just sold it and then to another store which found one in the back room - phew!)

When I am in balance, which is happily more often than not, I feel so full, so blessed. Some days I feel like I am going to burst with joy! My children feel that and we all have a grand ol goofy time together. I have so much to be grateful for.

Today we are heading out to meet friends to go snorkeling and then...who knows where we'll end up? So many adventures waiting to happen....

Saturday, May 08, 2010


I think I have the verbal runs at the moment. After being kind of quiet on this blog, I'm processing where I'm at now and I feel like I'm through the muck and back on top again. Thanks for listening.

Thinking about what I wrote last time, I honestly know that I do not have to focus more on one area of my life to promote, maybe make a business out of, and become some kind of 'expert' in.

I have many sides and, like a diamond, they all work together to make me shine as brightly as I do. It is not my path to focus on one area, and it is only when I am out of balance that I start to compare myself to others and start thinking that I "should" settle down and do something like that. But that is just not me. I love the adventure of life, the smorgasboard of experiences and it is when I am living the joy of that, and sharing that with my family and friends, that I shine the brightest.

Things in my life like Reiki and Reflexology are tools that I use to enhance where I am at. My main purpose right now, is to be the grandest expression of my Self so that I can be the best Mama / wife / sister / daughter / friend I can be.

I was starting to get a little frustrated with myself as these feelings I've been writing about recently...well, I am pretty sure I've written about them before. I started to imagine things like "oh the people that read this are going to get so bored with me repeating myself!". But it's okay. Because I see this journey of life like a spiral and maybe some of the path bumps into another part where I was feeling these same things. Knowing that I've been there before...and gotten through it...just makes it easier the next time. So I bump into that part of the cycle and then remember some of the mental processes I used for getting through it, and it's like it's over with quicker each time before I get flung off on another exciting part of the journey. Even if it looks a little similar to before...I can still make it feel fresh and new by being in the moment of it, breathing it in deeply, and being oh so grateful for it all!

So, I don't have to focus on one area. I feel the most inspired when I am doing exactly what I wrote at the top of this blog page - Living in harmony with the earth, in Joy with each other, and in touch with Spirit.

I love my free-spirit life! I love this lifestyle for my family! I really love being a Mama.

Oh my golly, "the world" is so very very busy around us. It's so easy to get caught up in 'having to keep busy'. I sometimes think that what I am 'doing' is more important that what I am Being.
Thanks to processing this confusion on this blog (even if I've done it before), I am proud to say that I am back on track and back in the business of JOY! Long may it reign! (If I do happen to slip, be a pal and remind me please.)

Whatever I 'do' from this moment forth, is never as important as who I will 'Be'. And that, dear friends...is where my main area of focus needs to be. Whatever I 'do' from that state, is secondary, .... if I am to become an 'expert' in any field, let it be in Joy!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

stumbling into learning

For most of today I have been in a place mentally that I have not been for quite a while. A place that is uncomfortable and familiar. It's a place that has me questioning a lot of different things in my life thus far. A place where I feel I haven't really come very far from the last time I felt like this. A feeling of incredible restlessness, like I have missed opportunities...like I have not lived up to my potential. A little bit mad with myself for not sticking with something..anything! But I can't stand being "stuck". I love to be free!

I didn't want to stay in that state. In the past, this state has felt like I'm in quicksand and if I try to force myself out, I just get pulled back further into it.

So I just stayed present with it, and tried to see it unfolding as if I was an observer of myself.

I became grateful for this opportunity as those feelings were indicating that something is just not working in my life right now, and changes need to be made. Some changes I can recognise and apply right away...things like changing my exercise habits, reducing some clutter and establishing a new rhythm that reflects Cary's absence and the cooler weather. Some changes run a little deeper and have me thinking about my grander purpose and if I plan on continuing to graze at the smorgasboard of life (Well now, stating it like that, the answer has got to be "hell, yeah!".), or focus more on one area and get passionate about that.

I think it's that I feel I have more of myself to give and I have not found the right outlet for that and I feel a little frustrated. Forcing the issue is not going to bring results, so I am going to (try and) remember to Trust. In the meantime, I will continue to pursue the things that interest me and see where they lead. I think it's time I worked on a Vision Board as well to clarify my goals.

So I started out this day feeling scattered and like I was bumbling around....and I am ending this day full of gratitude and a sense of Peace. I feel gentleness towards myself and an excitement that something new is around the corner...

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

rainy mood on a sunny day..

We took Cary to the train station early this morning. He caught the train to the airport for a flight back to the USA. As usual, we do not know when he will be back here. Maybe 6 weeks, maybe longer.

My energy feels scattered. Partly because we were doing a lot of extra work in the past week working on a deal that fell through at 8pm last night. Partly because it felt like a last minute rush to get Cary ready and the constant rain yesterday didn't help.

I've had months to prepare for Cary leaving again. It never seems real until it's happened. At the moment, it feels like he has just gone out and will be home any minute.

It's always a bit odd when he goes, and it takes a couple of days for the kids and I to find our own groove again. I get to remember that I am strong enough to take care of all of this here. There will be times when I will doubt that, when I will feel overwhelmed and exhausted. But I dig deep and find what I need to keep going. Often it comes when I just let go and remember that Everything I Need Will Be Provided. When I Trust that things are unfolding as they should, even when that is uncomfortable or wonderful or confusing. When I remember that the only thing I really need to be doing, is being present in this very moment.

It's a beautiful day today. I almost wish it was still raining, as that would suit my mood. But the sun is encouraging me to go outside and recharge....yeah, I think I will.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

lots of photo catch-up!

This was taken back in January at one of our favourite playgrounds close to us:

Cary going for a ride on his spiffy bike:

Cary at the beach:

Summer and I found this...interesting..critter at the beach. It was alive and just sitting on the sand. It kind of looked like a frog with no head. I think it may have been looking for a bigger shell to call home.

Spider trail:

The strangest mushroom I've ever seen:


Sea World:

AJ & Nicholas flying:

Sir Nicholas...

Little rockstar:

tough guy:

Let me show you my muscles:

"is dinner ready yet?"

He wears many hats:


Recent pics of AJ:

talking to the kangaroos:

impromptu jamming:

basketball star:

Summer days...

Some recent pics of our girl: