I have a bunch of half finished blogs saved as drafts, as well as others that get started in my head and don't even make it to blogger. That's kind of typical for me...I get all fired up about an idea whether it's a little post on my blog or a new direction in my life. I guess the essence of my desires come through, even though the actual route may differ. Lately I've been in a funk, (the rain hasn't helped), I've been a bit down and a bit hard on myself. We've had fun when we've gone out, but at home I have been distancing myself mentally and sinking into a quicksand of negativity.
The five pounds I am trying to lose will not budge. What's going on? I used to be a Personal Trainer for goodness sakes! I just cannot get myself motivated for any major workouts. I'm eating right and staying active but I used to do less than this and have no problem losing weight. I wake up tired and stay tired a lot of the time. I just feel out of balance. I don't know if it's 13.5 years of being vegetarian, or 11 years of being pregnant and/or nursing that are just taking me to my limits. Maybe it is all the rain we've had, maybe it's being away from the beach. Maybe it's that I'm not making time to read an inspiring book.
I don't know.
I was getting down on myself for all the unfulfilled goals I've had. But, I'm trying to see it like going to the department store of possibilities. Trying different ideas on, seeing how they feel by coming out of the dressing room and parading around in a new outfit for a while. Then seeing something in a new colour or style that might be a better fit and doing the same thing. Sometimes leaving the store with nothing, sometimes with some accessory that will just improve the current wardrobe I already have. Sometimes leaving with a brand new look that might last a long time, or just a little time.
Even so, I was still feeling a bit down, wondering why I don't stick with things that initially seem so exciting and just, well, right.
This morning, as I was trying really hard to think about some of lessons from books I've read recently, I opened my email to find this quote from Abraham:
You want the desire because it is the idea or the goal or the Creation that is responsible for a good amount of Life Force to flow through you. The main event is the Life Force that is flowing through you, not the manifestation. And if you don't believe us now, wait until that manifestation has popped, and realize that its power to draw life through you will be greatly diminished. That's why you keep wanting another goal and another goal and another goal... Excerpted from a workshop in Kansas City, KS on Sunday, September 27th, 1998
So I started feeling better. I've created an amazing amount of Life Force throughout my life. I've dared to step outside of the box and at least explore possibilities. We have worked through a lot of conditioning and personal issues to get our lives to a place where we can be even more flexible and we continue to refine and change things as we grow and change and the needs and desires of each of us is considered.
I will continue to frequent the department store of possibilities....and enjoy every moment!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Fun photos and other stuff
AJ and Sami, Warhol style:
We went into the GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art) today with some new homeschooling friends. There is an Andy Warhol exhibition on and we went to a special part of that designed just for kids. So we got there about 11 am and the place was over run with school groups. We hung back but were given preferential entrance into the 'silver cloud' room - a room with lots of huge rectangular silver helium-filled balloons. The idea was to lie down and watch the balloons float around, but they were too much fun to hit around the place too. (I didn't find out the reason behind this room - was this something that Andy used to do on a regular basis? Probably a good activity in various altered states!) There was a computer game about Andy's life and an area where people were filmed for their "15 minutes of fame" which was shown on a large screen next to the filming area after each segment was filmed. And there were photo booths which took the above photos that we emailed to ourselves.
After the GOMA, we had a picnic lunch next to the river. The kids enjoyed rolling on their sides down a grassy hill while the Mums chatted. Then we wandered over to the museum and looked at some of the animal displays. There are so many different kinds of animal, insects and birds on display. AJ was asking questions about how they got them all. He connected that most of the display animals etc were alive at one stage.
That was our main excitement for today. Yesterday we met the local unschoolers group and had a fabulous time with them hanging out at a park. I am so grateful that we found them. They are all so lovely and we all feel like it's the right fit for us.
In other news, our new caravan is slowly getting closer to being ready. The delays have been a bit frustrating but we're making the most of our time here.
I've been wanting to blog about other stuff going on here, but it's so hard to get a quiet moment to compose my thoughts that I feel I've been blogging about surface stuff. Oh, I should put my headphones on and turn on my MP3! Another use for it. I'll try that next time.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Abraham-Hicks quote for the day 15 Feb 2008
The achievement of anything that you desire must be considered success, whether it is a trophy or money or relationships, or things. But if you will let your standard of success be your achievement of joy—everything else will fall easily into place. For in the finding of joy, you are finding vibrational alignment with the resources of the Universe.
Excerpted from a workshop in “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” on Saturday, July 1st, 2006
All Is Well
Excerpted from a workshop in “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” on Saturday, July 1st, 2006
All Is Well
Friday, February 15, 2008
An unschooling trip to the mall
That restless feeling is creeping back. Yesterday the kids and I went to the library and then played at the mall as the weather was threatening rain and was a bit cool at times. What's going on? It's still officially summer until the end of the month. Last night was definitely an autumn night. But today is beautiful, warm and sunny.
When we went to the mall yesterday, I did not like the boxed in feeling and was longing for a nice long hike. But we made the most of it. As usual, interesting conversations came about regarding the people we saw. There was a lady in full Chinese dress promoting some Chinese extravaganza so we chatted with her for a while. A lady with a white cane prompted questions from AJ about how it might feel to be blind, or even deaf or both. Followed by his own experiment about how he might cope. The usual parade of women dressed in robes and veils led to further Sami's observations and curiosity about different religions and cultures. We will follow that up next time we go to the library.
The kids also spent some time going up and down the escalators. We looked at all of the different food available at the food court and took time to watch the preparation of different kinds of Indian and Greek food and talked about that and again, about different cultures. We went to the game arcade and AJ checked every machine to see if there were any coins in the coin return. Often he is lucky in this but there was nothing yesterday. There were however, a large number of teenagers there, considering it was school time. We watched some teens on the dance machine and they were really good. AJ has especially become interested in hip-hop kind of dance after watching "So You Think You Can Dance" on TV. He's asked to do a class in that so I've started looking for one in the new area we're going to.
A trip to the mall would not be complete without a stop at the game store to play Guitar Hero. We've been thinking of getting a gaming system and spent a while chatting to one of the assistants at the store who was very helpful. And patient with this techno newbie. He suggested the Nintendo Wii over the X-box 360 or Playstation 2 or 3. But then realising we'll probably get Cary to buy games when he's in the US as they're cheaper there, he suggested the PS3 as it's 'region free'. I managed to keep up with all the lingo as he was talking about the different systems. He was very curious about life in the USA and dreamily rolled his eyes when I told him we used to live in Las Vegas.
Sami looked at different fashions and talked about different styles of dresses. She looked at some of the other girly things as well. We spent a while in the newsagents looking at magazines and Nicholas played on a coin-operated tractor, without any coins being put in it. He loves that tractor and I know it's a minimum of a 10 minute stop every time we go past it.
As it was Valentines Day, we looked at all of the people walking around with bunches of flowers and big soft teddy bears. We talked about the idea of the holiday and why we don't get into all of the fuss surrounding the day. We don't believe in being extra loving on one particular day because the culture says we "should". And buying unnecessary gifts because someone made up the idea that we are supposed to. We aim to live with the Valentine spirit every day. That goes for Santa and the Easter Bunny too.
That was the main parts of our little excursion. Other things happened like stopping to watch the donuts coming out of the machine, and just so many other interesting little conversations and observations. I love this! I love watching my kids put things together in their minds. Yeah.
When we went to the mall yesterday, I did not like the boxed in feeling and was longing for a nice long hike. But we made the most of it. As usual, interesting conversations came about regarding the people we saw. There was a lady in full Chinese dress promoting some Chinese extravaganza so we chatted with her for a while. A lady with a white cane prompted questions from AJ about how it might feel to be blind, or even deaf or both. Followed by his own experiment about how he might cope. The usual parade of women dressed in robes and veils led to further Sami's observations and curiosity about different religions and cultures. We will follow that up next time we go to the library.
The kids also spent some time going up and down the escalators. We looked at all of the different food available at the food court and took time to watch the preparation of different kinds of Indian and Greek food and talked about that and again, about different cultures. We went to the game arcade and AJ checked every machine to see if there were any coins in the coin return. Often he is lucky in this but there was nothing yesterday. There were however, a large number of teenagers there, considering it was school time. We watched some teens on the dance machine and they were really good. AJ has especially become interested in hip-hop kind of dance after watching "So You Think You Can Dance" on TV. He's asked to do a class in that so I've started looking for one in the new area we're going to.
A trip to the mall would not be complete without a stop at the game store to play Guitar Hero. We've been thinking of getting a gaming system and spent a while chatting to one of the assistants at the store who was very helpful. And patient with this techno newbie. He suggested the Nintendo Wii over the X-box 360 or Playstation 2 or 3. But then realising we'll probably get Cary to buy games when he's in the US as they're cheaper there, he suggested the PS3 as it's 'region free'. I managed to keep up with all the lingo as he was talking about the different systems. He was very curious about life in the USA and dreamily rolled his eyes when I told him we used to live in Las Vegas.
Sami looked at different fashions and talked about different styles of dresses. She looked at some of the other girly things as well. We spent a while in the newsagents looking at magazines and Nicholas played on a coin-operated tractor, without any coins being put in it. He loves that tractor and I know it's a minimum of a 10 minute stop every time we go past it.
As it was Valentines Day, we looked at all of the people walking around with bunches of flowers and big soft teddy bears. We talked about the idea of the holiday and why we don't get into all of the fuss surrounding the day. We don't believe in being extra loving on one particular day because the culture says we "should". And buying unnecessary gifts because someone made up the idea that we are supposed to. We aim to live with the Valentine spirit every day. That goes for Santa and the Easter Bunny too.
That was the main parts of our little excursion. Other things happened like stopping to watch the donuts coming out of the machine, and just so many other interesting little conversations and observations. I love this! I love watching my kids put things together in their minds. Yeah.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Catching up with the times
One of the things I've missed about living in the camper is having a CD player. I especially love listening to music when I'm preparing food and cleaning up.
As we are planning on moving on again soon, I've been inpired to do a cleanse of our stuff and set aside anything the kids, or we, are not using anymore. Books, toys, general bits and pieces we've somehow aquired. - I'm sure it breeds when we're not looking! When I've finished, we'll donate the things to a thrift store. Sami and AJ would like to have a garage sale and sell the things they no longer want but we really don't have enough to do that. Maybe we can give them some extra pocket money instead.
As I was going through one of the storage boxes, I found a little box containing a brand-new MP3 player that I'd been given as a bonus for signing up with a phone carrier over a year ago. AJ was very interested in it and his interest prompted me to try and figure it out. It actually didn't take long. I had put it aside thinking it would take too long to read all of the instructions and do anything with it. But I'm hooked now! I've downloaded some of our favourite CD's and figured out how to work the FM radio! I'm impressed with myself.
Something you may not realise is that I was born when people still listened to LP records, before the home computer was even something one might imagine as possible. I was in school when colour TV became a thing that everyone had. And waaayyy before mobile phones. I'm not afraid of technology, it's just that I don't have a desire to keep up with the latest unless it's something that I can really use and benefit from - like the internet. And now, without a CD player in the camper, I have discovered the joy of MP3. It suits our lifestyle in that it's so compact. AJ is having a great time playing with it and I will show him how to download CD's to it. I might not get it back! Hmm, I might have to look into those I-Pod thingys I keep hearing about!
As we are planning on moving on again soon, I've been inpired to do a cleanse of our stuff and set aside anything the kids, or we, are not using anymore. Books, toys, general bits and pieces we've somehow aquired. - I'm sure it breeds when we're not looking! When I've finished, we'll donate the things to a thrift store. Sami and AJ would like to have a garage sale and sell the things they no longer want but we really don't have enough to do that. Maybe we can give them some extra pocket money instead.
As I was going through one of the storage boxes, I found a little box containing a brand-new MP3 player that I'd been given as a bonus for signing up with a phone carrier over a year ago. AJ was very interested in it and his interest prompted me to try and figure it out. It actually didn't take long. I had put it aside thinking it would take too long to read all of the instructions and do anything with it. But I'm hooked now! I've downloaded some of our favourite CD's and figured out how to work the FM radio! I'm impressed with myself.
Something you may not realise is that I was born when people still listened to LP records, before the home computer was even something one might imagine as possible. I was in school when colour TV became a thing that everyone had. And waaayyy before mobile phones. I'm not afraid of technology, it's just that I don't have a desire to keep up with the latest unless it's something that I can really use and benefit from - like the internet. And now, without a CD player in the camper, I have discovered the joy of MP3. It suits our lifestyle in that it's so compact. AJ is having a great time playing with it and I will show him how to download CD's to it. I might not get it back! Hmm, I might have to look into those I-Pod thingys I keep hearing about!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Moving on up and on
Yipee-I-O!!! Our new camper trailer finally arrived from the USA and it is in our possession. It took threatening the shippers with getting the law and the media involved, but we have it now..yay! The shippers were holding on to it, claiming we did not pay and suggesting we pay again. After proving beyond doubt that they had indeed cashed our check, they could stall no longer and we were able to pick it up. Wow! It is so nice. It is 21 years newer than our current van, and a bit bigger all around. Sami will have one end which has a double bed, AJ will sleep a step down from her where the table folds down into a double bed. At the other end, Nicholas will have his own large single a step down from where Cary and I sleep which is a huge king size bed! Luxury!
We need to do a few things to the new van to be able to get an Australian compliance plate and then get her registered. We also are getting the airconditioner unit put on top that Cary had sent over in the camper. When the new camper is done, we will get the old one spruced up and ready for sale.
I've gotten used to this campground. It's not too far from the motorways, markets, shops and it's really easy to get into the city - about a 20 minute drive from here to where we park. We've got to know some of the long-termers here and have a comfortable complacency starting to happen. We have looked at a lot of other caravan parks but have not found anything better. Until yesterday when we found the perfect spot for us! It's about an hour south of here, but right on a creek and across the road from a beautiful beach. It's close enough yet far enough from a really popular tourist destination that has a lot of different and interesting attractions. It's also close to the hinterland with beautiful rainforest walks and waterfalls. There's a wild life sanctuary in the next suburb and a new eco-village being built. We will move to the new campground after we've gotten things sorted out with the campers here.
It will mean we will be further away from the lovely un/homeschool groups we've recently met so we might not make it to their gatherings every week. So I'll start looking for more unschoolers in the new area. I just know there out there!
It's nice to keep things moving and interesting. Never a dull moment here!!
We need to do a few things to the new van to be able to get an Australian compliance plate and then get her registered. We also are getting the airconditioner unit put on top that Cary had sent over in the camper. When the new camper is done, we will get the old one spruced up and ready for sale.
I've gotten used to this campground. It's not too far from the motorways, markets, shops and it's really easy to get into the city - about a 20 minute drive from here to where we park. We've got to know some of the long-termers here and have a comfortable complacency starting to happen. We have looked at a lot of other caravan parks but have not found anything better. Until yesterday when we found the perfect spot for us! It's about an hour south of here, but right on a creek and across the road from a beautiful beach. It's close enough yet far enough from a really popular tourist destination that has a lot of different and interesting attractions. It's also close to the hinterland with beautiful rainforest walks and waterfalls. There's a wild life sanctuary in the next suburb and a new eco-village being built. We will move to the new campground after we've gotten things sorted out with the campers here.
It will mean we will be further away from the lovely un/homeschool groups we've recently met so we might not make it to their gatherings every week. So I'll start looking for more unschoolers in the new area. I just know there out there!
It's nice to keep things moving and interesting. Never a dull moment here!!
Friday, February 08, 2008
I love my kids!
I love the freedom that we have. I love getting up in the morning and being able to totally change our plans we'd made the day before because the weather is too beautiful and we'd rather go swimming or it's raining and we want to go to the library. Or just because someone has had a better idea.
I do want to make one day each week that the kids and I go into the city to explore the museums, art galleries, etc. We went to the state library last week with a really lovely unschooling group. The library had a large area with a good assortment of games to play including a huge snakes and ladders game that you had to walk on to play. In another section of the library, they had a long low table with lots of arts and crafts supplies to create with. There were also dress-up clothes, puppets, a dollhouse, computers with kids games on them and other fun things. We easily spent 5 hours there, because of all the interesting things to do and the wonderful company.
We do a lot of driving and I've got to say, I really enjoy driving with my kids. The conversations that come up can be so silly or interesting or warm and fuzzy. Chatting with my kids can make an hour long trip seem a whole lot shorter.
All of the children seem interested in maps. AJ loves collecting pamphlets on different tourist attractions that look interesting to him, or he thinks one of the rest of us would be interested in. These brochures usually have maps on them which he likes to figure out. Nicholas loves Dora the Explorer and loves simple maps like the one that she has. He sometimes find them in books. Sami has been interested in reading the big street directory and has been doing most of the navigating lately. She has a good sense of direction.
I really love my kids. I love my hubby. I love our life.
I do want to make one day each week that the kids and I go into the city to explore the museums, art galleries, etc. We went to the state library last week with a really lovely unschooling group. The library had a large area with a good assortment of games to play including a huge snakes and ladders game that you had to walk on to play. In another section of the library, they had a long low table with lots of arts and crafts supplies to create with. There were also dress-up clothes, puppets, a dollhouse, computers with kids games on them and other fun things. We easily spent 5 hours there, because of all the interesting things to do and the wonderful company.
We do a lot of driving and I've got to say, I really enjoy driving with my kids. The conversations that come up can be so silly or interesting or warm and fuzzy. Chatting with my kids can make an hour long trip seem a whole lot shorter.
All of the children seem interested in maps. AJ loves collecting pamphlets on different tourist attractions that look interesting to him, or he thinks one of the rest of us would be interested in. These brochures usually have maps on them which he likes to figure out. Nicholas loves Dora the Explorer and loves simple maps like the one that she has. He sometimes find them in books. Sami has been interested in reading the big street directory and has been doing most of the navigating lately. She has a good sense of direction.
I really love my kids. I love my hubby. I love our life.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
a few photos..
a toothy / toothless AJ 6.5yrs
On Australia Day we went to a place near the city called Southbank. It's a huge area alongside of the Brisbane River that has cafes, restaurants, a rainforest walk, playgrounds, a man-made beach and this fabulous rocky river wandering through it. (At one end of Southbank there's also a museum, science center, library, art gallery, and performance arts center. All huge city-size versions of those.) The kids had a great time throwing rocks from one section to another, banging small rocks on the larger ones, building dams and just lazing around like the above Sami mermaid.
Cary has the green sleeves, sitting on the edge. Nicky is just in front of him and Aj is to the right in the black after just having thrown a rock into some deeper water. That activity kept him busy for a long time. There's something therapeutic about throwing rocks into water. And it's just plain fun too!
Down behind Cary is another path that goes along the river. Directly across the river is the city of Brisbane.
Nicky thoroughly enjoyed the rock throwing action as well!
Monday, February 04, 2008
Sharing the love..
About 3 or 4 years ago when I was only eating raw food, I bought the domain name 'rawmama.com'. I let it expire when I didn't do anything with it. When I finally decided I might want to do something with that, I found it had a new owner. I made contact with the new owner - Queen B - we clicked and now we enjoy reading each others blogs. She recently honored me with the "Inspirational Blogger Award".
In tradition of the award, I am passing on the award to others that inspire me....
I was going to list them separately, but I realised that the reason I enjoy reading them so much is all basically the same. These five women, as well as Queen B inspire me because of their courage to be real. They are true to themselves, their passions, their families and are flexible and creative in living the very best life they can. I mean really living - following their own path, falling down, getting up again, and soaring, but not afraid to fall again. Taking this life to the depths and heights it can offer, and then sharing some of the insights gained along the way in a witty, eloquent and downright real way. Thank you ladies. You are all amazing and beautiful and I love ya!
To find out more about the award, go to Writer's Reviews. ..that link should be fixed now.
In tradition of the award, I am passing on the award to others that inspire me....
Stephanie and
I was going to list them separately, but I realised that the reason I enjoy reading them so much is all basically the same. These five women, as well as Queen B inspire me because of their courage to be real. They are true to themselves, their passions, their families and are flexible and creative in living the very best life they can. I mean really living - following their own path, falling down, getting up again, and soaring, but not afraid to fall again. Taking this life to the depths and heights it can offer, and then sharing some of the insights gained along the way in a witty, eloquent and downright real way. Thank you ladies. You are all amazing and beautiful and I love ya!
To find out more about the award, go to Writer's Reviews. ..that link should be fixed now.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Loving Life - rain and all
We are so lucky! Living like this, with all the different weather and situations. What a grand adventure! What a blessed life! We woke up this morning to heavy rain. Surrendering to Mother Nature made me joyous and very happy. I put on a raincoat, Cary and Nicky got umbrellas and we walked barefoot through the little river running around the campground, chatting to other campers as we went. When we got back inside we stayed warm and dry and close.
We'll go out later to the library that we recently discovered and joined. The kids love it because they all got their own library cards and can check out themselves scanning their own books and things. Oh, and it has an x-box, the internet, dvds and even some books! The kids area has a bunch of cushions for people to sit on and look at books. My boys thought it was much more fun to put all of the cushions in a big pile and take a running jump into them. At least the kids area is way down in the back corner. I think the favourite find all round was a Doctor Who DVD. We are all fans and we hadn't seen the episodes on this one. The library is located within the huge mall up the road so when we go there, the kids can also have fun going up and down in the elevator and on the escalators. Good stuff to do on a rainy day!
We'll go out later to the library that we recently discovered and joined. The kids love it because they all got their own library cards and can check out themselves scanning their own books and things. Oh, and it has an x-box, the internet, dvds and even some books! The kids area has a bunch of cushions for people to sit on and look at books. My boys thought it was much more fun to put all of the cushions in a big pile and take a running jump into them. At least the kids area is way down in the back corner. I think the favourite find all round was a Doctor Who DVD. We are all fans and we hadn't seen the episodes on this one. The library is located within the huge mall up the road so when we go there, the kids can also have fun going up and down in the elevator and on the escalators. Good stuff to do on a rainy day!
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Simple things..
I tell you - simple luxuries like having your own bathroom make such a big difference! It is so nice to walk a couple of meters to use the bathroom or have a shower. And we don't have to carry a bag with our shampoo, towel etc, it's already in there! Nicky likes to take a bath so we use an empty 50L plastic container that we used to put our towels in (but now we can hang them up in the bathroom!). We put that container under the shower to catch extra water as I am showering. Then when I get out, he gets in his little bath. I close the glass door so he can do some crazy splashing and still see us. He's very happy!
Nicky just loves the water. He's become very confident at the pool and will take a running leap into the pool and then swim under the water to where I am. Which is always close to where he's jumping in. He will swim about 8 feet (probably more if we tried it but we haven't) by himself and loves to swim from me to the wall or steps or Cary or Sami and then back again and do this over and over and over. Not bad for a 2.5 year old!
I must post more photos soon.
Nicky just loves the water. He's become very confident at the pool and will take a running leap into the pool and then swim under the water to where I am. Which is always close to where he's jumping in. He will swim about 8 feet (probably more if we tried it but we haven't) by himself and loves to swim from me to the wall or steps or Cary or Sami and then back again and do this over and over and over. Not bad for a 2.5 year old!
I must post more photos soon.
Friday, February 01, 2008
moving decision & glow-worms
I've spent a lot of time recently looking in the papers or online for a rental house. Then driving around actually looking at them or just looking for a general area we'd like to be.
Being near the city, the prices are pretty high and the competition is fierce. Most places get at least a dozen families looking at them. At least half of those put in applications and of course the family where both parents are working get the place.
I've been considering all of that plus the fact that we would have to buy all the things you need for a house - lounge suite, dining table, beds, fridge, washing machine etc. Long-term, fully furnished places are very rare. I realised that I just did not want to do that. We looked at other caravan parks and realised that we were already staying in the nicest one. We then looked at one of short term furnished cabins here in the park. Very nice, expensive, but not out of the question. We walked in and saw the big fridge, nice furnishings, proper bathroom, and one big box that it was all in. Now the fridge was the best part as we recently discovered some fabulous markets just up the road from where we are. Oh my golly - fruit and veg that smell soooo good and taste wonderful. Back to the cabin. We looked at it when it was raining so it did look tempting at first to have some extra space. But we couldn't get past the boxed in feeling so we decided to pass. We surrendered to our nomadic life and the freedom it gives us. We decided to make this life a little bit nicer so we moved to a new site that has it's own private bathroom. No more emptying the porta-loo, no more walking 5 minutes to have a shower. It's amazing how much we appreciate these little niceties. Our own flushing toilet and hot shower! woo hoo!!
This new site looks out over a beautiful green grassy area and gets a beautiful breeze. At this stage, we plan on staying here for about 6 weeks. That gives us time to do a lot of the city things, get our new camper sorted out and try out some of the different homeschooling groups.
We met with one hs group yesterday - a 'natural learners' group. Big group, it had a lot of teenagers in it and not so many younger kids. The group has been going for 15 years - so I guess it started when the current teens were tots. We all met at some caves about an hour away where there is a glow-worm exhibition. We learned a lot about glow-worms, like the fact that the females shine the brightest. Nicholas wasn't so sure about being in the very dark cave so we pretended the lights were stars and it was night time. The thing my kids remember most about the day was this little poem:
Being near the city, the prices are pretty high and the competition is fierce. Most places get at least a dozen families looking at them. At least half of those put in applications and of course the family where both parents are working get the place.
I've been considering all of that plus the fact that we would have to buy all the things you need for a house - lounge suite, dining table, beds, fridge, washing machine etc. Long-term, fully furnished places are very rare. I realised that I just did not want to do that. We looked at other caravan parks and realised that we were already staying in the nicest one. We then looked at one of short term furnished cabins here in the park. Very nice, expensive, but not out of the question. We walked in and saw the big fridge, nice furnishings, proper bathroom, and one big box that it was all in. Now the fridge was the best part as we recently discovered some fabulous markets just up the road from where we are. Oh my golly - fruit and veg that smell soooo good and taste wonderful. Back to the cabin. We looked at it when it was raining so it did look tempting at first to have some extra space. But we couldn't get past the boxed in feeling so we decided to pass. We surrendered to our nomadic life and the freedom it gives us. We decided to make this life a little bit nicer so we moved to a new site that has it's own private bathroom. No more emptying the porta-loo, no more walking 5 minutes to have a shower. It's amazing how much we appreciate these little niceties. Our own flushing toilet and hot shower! woo hoo!!
This new site looks out over a beautiful green grassy area and gets a beautiful breeze. At this stage, we plan on staying here for about 6 weeks. That gives us time to do a lot of the city things, get our new camper sorted out and try out some of the different homeschooling groups.
We met with one hs group yesterday - a 'natural learners' group. Big group, it had a lot of teenagers in it and not so many younger kids. The group has been going for 15 years - so I guess it started when the current teens were tots. We all met at some caves about an hour away where there is a glow-worm exhibition. We learned a lot about glow-worms, like the fact that the females shine the brightest. Nicholas wasn't so sure about being in the very dark cave so we pretended the lights were stars and it was night time. The thing my kids remember most about the day was this little poem:
I wish I was a glow-worm
a glow-worm's never glum
'cos how can you be grumpy
when the sun shines out your bum!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Australians all let us rejoice
for we are young and free...
It is Australia Day here today. One of the great things about being near a big city is that there are lots of options in how we choose to celebrate today.
As the schools get ready to start a new year in a couple of days, we are rejoicing in our freedom. We've decided not to move to the other area further north. There is so much happening in the homeschooling world right here. There are more opportunities for business, and we haven't finished exploring all that the city has to offer.
We should be able to move into our new caravan next week, depending on what is involved in getting all the paperwork right on this end. We know we have to switch some things like lights over from the US style to the aussie standard.
Recently we were a bit frustrated with this type of living and had doubts about how we wanted to live. Things have become clearer, we have mapped out a bit of a plan and have made contact with several homeschooling groups in the area. There are a ton of different groups and we are going to start going to some of them to see which fits us best.
The weather is beautiful. Most days we get a little shower, but not the constant rain like it was.
Life is great!
It is Australia Day here today. One of the great things about being near a big city is that there are lots of options in how we choose to celebrate today.
As the schools get ready to start a new year in a couple of days, we are rejoicing in our freedom. We've decided not to move to the other area further north. There is so much happening in the homeschooling world right here. There are more opportunities for business, and we haven't finished exploring all that the city has to offer.
We should be able to move into our new caravan next week, depending on what is involved in getting all the paperwork right on this end. We know we have to switch some things like lights over from the US style to the aussie standard.
Recently we were a bit frustrated with this type of living and had doubts about how we wanted to live. Things have become clearer, we have mapped out a bit of a plan and have made contact with several homeschooling groups in the area. There are a ton of different groups and we are going to start going to some of them to see which fits us best.
The weather is beautiful. Most days we get a little shower, but not the constant rain like it was.
Life is great!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Creating
The teachings of Abraham (& others it's just that I'm still reading A books), tells us that we are totally in control of creating our own reality. Our thoughts are so powerful and our feelings are the guide posts as to whether we are in alignment with our true desires. (Conversations with God talks about this too so it's interesting that the books I've read back-to-back have all had the same message...am I getting it yet?!)
I wish I had known this when I was young. Why don't they teach this kind of information in schools? Because they want to keep us dumbed down? Teaching people what to think instead of how to think?
If someone had told me that my feelings were so important to my journey here, then I would never have thought I was crazy, or too emotional, or too sensitive. I would never have thought that "there must be something wrong with me". I would have spent a lot less time hiding my feelings in habits and relationships that supported the negative image of myself that I'd been led to think was true.
Luckily though, my inner/higher self is strong and persistent and led me to the right books and teachers to help me through the fog. The glimpses that I'd had all of my life into the reality that I'd been taught, through societies conditionings, was 'wrong', turns out to be what is right for me! I used to feel like I just didn't belong here, like an outsider looking in, like an adopted child from another planet.
For years I'd heard that your thoughts help create your reality. Yes, that's very nice and ok, I did the affirmations and visualisations and got pretty good at manifesting things in my life. But knowing how important the feelings are in directing the true desires just takes everything deeper and I feel like I've (finally) been given permission - and wow, even encouraged! - to honour my feelings. I feel so free!!!!
I wish I had known this when I was young. Why don't they teach this kind of information in schools? Because they want to keep us dumbed down? Teaching people what to think instead of how to think?
If someone had told me that my feelings were so important to my journey here, then I would never have thought I was crazy, or too emotional, or too sensitive. I would never have thought that "there must be something wrong with me". I would have spent a lot less time hiding my feelings in habits and relationships that supported the negative image of myself that I'd been led to think was true.
Luckily though, my inner/higher self is strong and persistent and led me to the right books and teachers to help me through the fog. The glimpses that I'd had all of my life into the reality that I'd been taught, through societies conditionings, was 'wrong', turns out to be what is right for me! I used to feel like I just didn't belong here, like an outsider looking in, like an adopted child from another planet.
For years I'd heard that your thoughts help create your reality. Yes, that's very nice and ok, I did the affirmations and visualisations and got pretty good at manifesting things in my life. But knowing how important the feelings are in directing the true desires just takes everything deeper and I feel like I've (finally) been given permission - and wow, even encouraged! - to honour my feelings. I feel so free!!!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
pondering our new direction
We are on the cusp of a new direction. Many options. We've been driving around all weekend looking for a new location and housing. An area we'd recently thought would be "it" was just not giving us the right vibe. We did not find suitable housing there, but Cary and the kids did find good pizza! Another place that I have loved for many years, is again looking promising. We've narrowed down the specific area we want to be within that larger area.
Cary will be going back to the USA next month. I'm aware of a time crunch to move again but I'm trying really hard not to be impatient and force things to happen. So I'm trying to get out of my head and back to my senses where life flows and all that we need is provided.
This is a stage of this type of living that is challenging. The moving (again), finding new friends, new fruit markets, new playgrounds. Yes, it's exciting. But sometimes I envy people who are perfectly content with living in the same house for 20+ years. There is definitely something to that - the security and stability. We are aiming to provide those things for our children with our love and some simple rhythms. Perhaps this is helping our children to learn to be flexible and adapt to new situations more easily. Yeah, they certainly do that well. I think I'm getting closer to being able to stay in one place for a very long time, but I'm just not there yet.
I think of the houses we had back in Vegas and the abundance of cool toys the kids had. The great friends. Especially the friends. But even people come and go, as did the houses and the toys. Here we are sleeping in a very small camper but with such a feeling of open-ness when we step outside. No big walls, no major housework, no utility bills, very few toys (but enough) and a constant stream of new friends. I think all of the rain we've had recently has caused us to question this lifestyle at the moment. I do not want to give up those freedoms for the ties of a house. But I also want some more space when we are inside due to rain or night time.
Ah...decisions...
Cary will be going back to the USA next month. I'm aware of a time crunch to move again but I'm trying really hard not to be impatient and force things to happen. So I'm trying to get out of my head and back to my senses where life flows and all that we need is provided.
This is a stage of this type of living that is challenging. The moving (again), finding new friends, new fruit markets, new playgrounds. Yes, it's exciting. But sometimes I envy people who are perfectly content with living in the same house for 20+ years. There is definitely something to that - the security and stability. We are aiming to provide those things for our children with our love and some simple rhythms. Perhaps this is helping our children to learn to be flexible and adapt to new situations more easily. Yeah, they certainly do that well. I think I'm getting closer to being able to stay in one place for a very long time, but I'm just not there yet.
I think of the houses we had back in Vegas and the abundance of cool toys the kids had. The great friends. Especially the friends. But even people come and go, as did the houses and the toys. Here we are sleeping in a very small camper but with such a feeling of open-ness when we step outside. No big walls, no major housework, no utility bills, very few toys (but enough) and a constant stream of new friends. I think all of the rain we've had recently has caused us to question this lifestyle at the moment. I do not want to give up those freedoms for the ties of a house. But I also want some more space when we are inside due to rain or night time.
Ah...decisions...
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
finding Balance (again)
The sun shone most of the day yesterday. We went swimming several times. Ran into some friends from the area we used to live. What a surprise to find that they are staying in the same caravan park as us! Had fun playing with old and new friends. I ate more fresh foods and fewer grains. Wondered what was niggling at me and realised it was a bunch of little jobs that I had set for myself and just not gotten around to as we've been too busy moving, looking for the next place to move to, dealing with the rain, etc. So I made a start of some of those projects and it felt good. Went out for a yummy mexican dinner with the family. The afternoon was much cooler and we enjoyed a long walk when we got home. Focused on where we are, the beauty, the grass around our camper that is littered with frangipani flowers, the birds and the spirited people I live with.
Woke up feeling great again. Did some yoga and dressed in a pretty skirt. Feeling sensual and wild. Feels gooooood....
Woke up feeling great again. Did some yoga and dressed in a pretty skirt. Feeling sensual and wild. Feels gooooood....
Monday, January 07, 2008
roller coaster
It has rained every day here for over 2 weeks. Sometimes all day, sometimes just a brief shower. But now the real summer feels like it is here. Hot and humid. It never used to bother me like it is now. That's probably because I'm focused on how the rest of the family is coping with the heat. Sami does not do well in it at all. Cary used to not do well but has adapted really well. The boys don't complain, but they just don't have a lot of energy at times. I'm not enjoying the summer like I used to. If we can get right next to the beach again then we'll get the cool sea breezes which would be nice.
I've been reading 'The Law of Attraction' by Esther and Jerry Hicks (& Abraham). I am having trouble applying it though. Living like this is not a holiday. A lot of people think it is. It is constant work just keeping the kids amused, the place clean, shopping (we have less space to store food so we have to shop more often), washing etc. The lack of space is really bothering me as is the lack of personal time. I'm trying to turn things around and focus on what's great right now and also think of the way I want things to be. Sometimes it's easier than others.
We're all healthy, our caravan keeps us dry, we have plenty of food and water, we have a lovely pool to swim in and we've made nice new friends here. Our cars get us around well. We have movies and internet and computer games and books and toys. We really are blessed and it's just getting better. We've have an abundance of good things including each other. So me, get over yourself and en-JOY this moment.
I guess it goes back to experiencing the things we don't want to really find out and get such a clear picture about the things we do want.
I've been reading 'The Law of Attraction' by Esther and Jerry Hicks (& Abraham). I am having trouble applying it though. Living like this is not a holiday. A lot of people think it is. It is constant work just keeping the kids amused, the place clean, shopping (we have less space to store food so we have to shop more often), washing etc. The lack of space is really bothering me as is the lack of personal time. I'm trying to turn things around and focus on what's great right now and also think of the way I want things to be. Sometimes it's easier than others.
We're all healthy, our caravan keeps us dry, we have plenty of food and water, we have a lovely pool to swim in and we've made nice new friends here. Our cars get us around well. We have movies and internet and computer games and books and toys. We really are blessed and it's just getting better. We've have an abundance of good things including each other. So me, get over yourself and en-JOY this moment.
I guess it goes back to experiencing the things we don't want to really find out and get such a clear picture about the things we do want.
Friday, January 04, 2008
photos
At the caravan park on Bribie Island, Queensland, Christmas Eve. AJ was soooo excited because Santa came to visit - riding in the back of the little white pick up truck coming down the road behind him, all dressed in the red suit while the other people with him throwing candy out to the kids were dressed in shorts and t-shirts.
AJ got to talk to the jolly man. I have never either encouraged nor discouraged the whole Santa concept, I've kind of just left it up to the kids to ask questions if they wanted more info. This past Christmas, Sami asked me if I thought Santa was real. I told her I thought that Santa represented the spirit of christmas which was definitely real. She didn't ask any more questions but I could see her trying to figure it out. I let her know that I'd be happy to talk with her more but I think she wanted to believe in the magic for one more year.
AJ lost another tooth and was very excited! It's the 5th one he's lost.
Mr nature photographer, AJ, has taken probably 100 photos of his favourite birds. He has a knack of attracting them and has a lot of patience when doing so.
Monday, December 31, 2007
31 Dec 07
At 11:30pm on this day, 14 years ago, my destiny completely turned around when I met Cary at a street party on the island in the Great Barrier Reef where I was living and he was enjoying a vacation. Wow, what a journey it has been. It just keeps getting better.
Speaking of journeys, this particular phase feels like it's coming to a new chapter.
The showers we were experiencing turned into a whole bunch of rain and high winds with a cyclone further up the coast. We did not feel comfortable going to the other side of the island and getting pounded on there as the cyclone came closer. Before we took the weather into account, we went to look at the other park and just did not get a good feel about it. It was supposed to be a 4 star park, but it sure didn't feel like that. It had a very old feel about it and just felt weird. I had a look in the ladies bathroom and with the way the tiles were, it looked like the floor was moving. The lady at reception was not very helpful and told us that we could not check in until 12 noon on the day that we were due to arrive, but she did not tell us that the office was closed from 12 - 1pm for her lunch. After pondering the weird feelings we got while we were there, and considering the coming bad weather, we decided to move slightly south west, about 12 km from the city of Brisbane to a 4.5 star park. We realised that a lot of Aussies like to go to the coast during the summer so we'd do the opposite and go to the city. We're going to check out the science center, planetarium and museums and other attractions of the big city.
Observations so far: yes, this is a nice park, but it also feels a bit sterile, or impersonal. People (generally speaking) seem more concerned with themselves and are just not as friendly and open. We visited a huge shopping mall nearby which was about the largest mall I've ever been to. It interesting to people watch the amazing melting pot of races and faces. Not many people looked happy as they rushed about, focused on their own lives. When driving here, I was excited to visit the big city, where I used to live, again. But driving here, getting lost after being given the wrong directions, looking at all of the traffic and just feeling the less friendly energy, I'm glad that we will be leaving in another 2 weeks. I plan on enjoying the time we have here, but I'm glad we know our departure date.
Sometimes, to figure out what we want, we need to experience the things that we do not want.
Packing up this caravan and setting up again several times recently has proven to us that we do not want to continue with this type of caravan. It is just too small. We've been questioning our purpose with this whole exercise. I feel we've learned a lot about simple living and enjoying life and the outdoors and each other. Travelling has been nice, but we are longing for a home base to know we can return to. We'd all like to go back to a house for a while. For some dry space during all the wet weather we've had, for individual privacy and just more personal space. Just a little house, on a large lot of land so we can still be outside a lot when it's nice weather. For a few months. Cary is returning to the USA mid Feb and will look into sending over a larger caravan (trailer) for us. We'd like to do a little more touring until we find "the" spot we want to be. We can imagine living in the caravan for a while as we look for some land to settle on and business opportunities to get into.
Interesting how when we think we're on the right track, another possibility comes to mind that needs exploring. In the process of evolving and creating who-we-really-are, we are paying more attention to our own feelings, intuitions and signs around us. We are waking up, becoming more aware, more connected to Source and each other.
We are looking forward to a calmer year ahead, filled with new adventures and amazing personal growth.
We wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness and all the good things you wish for yourself.
namaste
Speaking of journeys, this particular phase feels like it's coming to a new chapter.
The showers we were experiencing turned into a whole bunch of rain and high winds with a cyclone further up the coast. We did not feel comfortable going to the other side of the island and getting pounded on there as the cyclone came closer. Before we took the weather into account, we went to look at the other park and just did not get a good feel about it. It was supposed to be a 4 star park, but it sure didn't feel like that. It had a very old feel about it and just felt weird. I had a look in the ladies bathroom and with the way the tiles were, it looked like the floor was moving. The lady at reception was not very helpful and told us that we could not check in until 12 noon on the day that we were due to arrive, but she did not tell us that the office was closed from 12 - 1pm for her lunch. After pondering the weird feelings we got while we were there, and considering the coming bad weather, we decided to move slightly south west, about 12 km from the city of Brisbane to a 4.5 star park. We realised that a lot of Aussies like to go to the coast during the summer so we'd do the opposite and go to the city. We're going to check out the science center, planetarium and museums and other attractions of the big city.
Observations so far: yes, this is a nice park, but it also feels a bit sterile, or impersonal. People (generally speaking) seem more concerned with themselves and are just not as friendly and open. We visited a huge shopping mall nearby which was about the largest mall I've ever been to. It interesting to people watch the amazing melting pot of races and faces. Not many people looked happy as they rushed about, focused on their own lives. When driving here, I was excited to visit the big city, where I used to live, again. But driving here, getting lost after being given the wrong directions, looking at all of the traffic and just feeling the less friendly energy, I'm glad that we will be leaving in another 2 weeks. I plan on enjoying the time we have here, but I'm glad we know our departure date.
Sometimes, to figure out what we want, we need to experience the things that we do not want.
Packing up this caravan and setting up again several times recently has proven to us that we do not want to continue with this type of caravan. It is just too small. We've been questioning our purpose with this whole exercise. I feel we've learned a lot about simple living and enjoying life and the outdoors and each other. Travelling has been nice, but we are longing for a home base to know we can return to. We'd all like to go back to a house for a while. For some dry space during all the wet weather we've had, for individual privacy and just more personal space. Just a little house, on a large lot of land so we can still be outside a lot when it's nice weather. For a few months. Cary is returning to the USA mid Feb and will look into sending over a larger caravan (trailer) for us. We'd like to do a little more touring until we find "the" spot we want to be. We can imagine living in the caravan for a while as we look for some land to settle on and business opportunities to get into.
Interesting how when we think we're on the right track, another possibility comes to mind that needs exploring. In the process of evolving and creating who-we-really-are, we are paying more attention to our own feelings, intuitions and signs around us. We are waking up, becoming more aware, more connected to Source and each other.
We are looking forward to a calmer year ahead, filled with new adventures and amazing personal growth.
We wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness and all the good things you wish for yourself.
namaste
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Dec 27 07
Australians love the great outdoors. Cary is amazed by the large number of campgrounds and how packed they all are at this time of the year. Family groups gather together and help with meals and the children after spending the day enjoying the simple pleasures of playing on the beach, going for walks and sitting around chatting while the kids play with cousins and new friends.
This new campground that we are at is a bit different from the last one. The other one had a beautiful pool, fabulous camp kitchen, kids playground, modern amenities and the sites were larger. This one is a lot more basic, but the people here are all so friendly. We are across the road from a river with lovely white sandy beaches. In a few days we're moving to the other side of the island and will be a block away from the surf beach. I thought I'd be glad to move, but I actually think I'll miss this quiet, close community. The kids have made a ton of new friends. On christmas, a lot of the other kids were given Nintendo DS's. In the afternoon, they discovered they could message each other. Sami and AJ took their DS's over and soon they were figuring out how far away they could all be and still get the messages. They just had a great time. They've also all been riding their scooters a lot around the park. They haven't missed having a playground and a pool here as they have found other things to do. The weather has been good, not hot, just really pleasant with some showers keeping things cool and fresh.
Our christmas was nice and simple. We went to my brother's houseboat for lunch and spent the afternoon playing on the beach and at the playground up the road. With all of the kids in the park, I did not hear any of them say to any others "what did you get?". They all just seemed to enjoy what they had and it was not a competition of who got the best stuff. Nice.
Even though we had a simple, stress-free, joyful christmas, there was something niggling at me that was missing. It seemed to lack depth. I think we can fill that next year by getting involved in some kind of community service project to help others.
Hope y'all are enjoying basking in the post-Christmas glow.
This new campground that we are at is a bit different from the last one. The other one had a beautiful pool, fabulous camp kitchen, kids playground, modern amenities and the sites were larger. This one is a lot more basic, but the people here are all so friendly. We are across the road from a river with lovely white sandy beaches. In a few days we're moving to the other side of the island and will be a block away from the surf beach. I thought I'd be glad to move, but I actually think I'll miss this quiet, close community. The kids have made a ton of new friends. On christmas, a lot of the other kids were given Nintendo DS's. In the afternoon, they discovered they could message each other. Sami and AJ took their DS's over and soon they were figuring out how far away they could all be and still get the messages. They just had a great time. They've also all been riding their scooters a lot around the park. They haven't missed having a playground and a pool here as they have found other things to do. The weather has been good, not hot, just really pleasant with some showers keeping things cool and fresh.
Our christmas was nice and simple. We went to my brother's houseboat for lunch and spent the afternoon playing on the beach and at the playground up the road. With all of the kids in the park, I did not hear any of them say to any others "what did you get?". They all just seemed to enjoy what they had and it was not a competition of who got the best stuff. Nice.
Even though we had a simple, stress-free, joyful christmas, there was something niggling at me that was missing. It seemed to lack depth. I think we can fill that next year by getting involved in some kind of community service project to help others.
Hope y'all are enjoying basking in the post-Christmas glow.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
lost: 2 rings. gone: attachment
Recently as I was going through some of the things I have in storage, I came across two rings of mine that I used to enjoy wearing. One is all silver and the other all turquoise. I don't like wearing a lot of jewelry on my hands & wrists, and currently wear some other rings I like, but I wanted to wear those so I put them on a leather cord to wear as a necklace. Yesterday as I was in the shower, the leather cord just fell off, with no rings on it.
The old me would have panicked and got the whole family out looking for them right away. However, my first thought this time was "oh well, it's just stuff, I hope whoever finds them enjoys them". It felt good to feel that. But then coming in behind that feeling was the thought "but it's MY stuff, and I have history attached to those rings" then came the feeling "so?". It was a comical interaction between my mind and my soul as my mind let go of the attachment to those two rings. I felt so ok with their disappearance that I just casually asked the family to keep their eyes out for them, but I did not send them all out combing the area. I trusted that if they were meant to return to me, they would and if they were meant for someone else, they would find their way to the right person.
This morning I had a brief vision of the turquoise ring and imagined it on my hand next to the other silver ring I'm wearing at the moment. About 20 minutes later, I found that ring.
This year has been such a big one for me in terms of letting go - of conditionings and material things - and personal growth in ways far beyond what I ever thought. It's been a tough year, but oh, so worth it.
The old me would have panicked and got the whole family out looking for them right away. However, my first thought this time was "oh well, it's just stuff, I hope whoever finds them enjoys them". It felt good to feel that. But then coming in behind that feeling was the thought "but it's MY stuff, and I have history attached to those rings" then came the feeling "so?". It was a comical interaction between my mind and my soul as my mind let go of the attachment to those two rings. I felt so ok with their disappearance that I just casually asked the family to keep their eyes out for them, but I did not send them all out combing the area. I trusted that if they were meant to return to me, they would and if they were meant for someone else, they would find their way to the right person.
This morning I had a brief vision of the turquoise ring and imagined it on my hand next to the other silver ring I'm wearing at the moment. About 20 minutes later, I found that ring.
This year has been such a big one for me in terms of letting go - of conditionings and material things - and personal growth in ways far beyond what I ever thought. It's been a tough year, but oh, so worth it.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Christmas Joy
Photo taken at South West Rocks, NSW. 17 Dec 2007
We are packing up our camper to prepare for an early morning get away tomorrow. It's amazing how relaxed we are. Life has continued to flow beautifully here. With the shopping centers jam packed, we always manage to get a spot right near the front. Not that we have been spending much time there, but when we do go, it's been a pleasure and we've been able to do what we need to do without stress. It's been so great!
Warm wishes to all our friends and family for a happy and joyful christmas!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Peaceful easy feeling
Ever since I started reading the 'Conversations With God' books, I've been feeling a beautiful, deep peace. The whole family picked up on that and we've had a lovely harmony here and a fantastic flow with life. Things that have been missing for months are 'suddenly' turning up, we've all been more playful and joyful and just loving living this free spirit life of ours.
Up until yesterday when I woke up tired after several nights in a row where my sleep had been interrupted quite a bit by noisy neighbours and Nuke wanting to nurse a lot more than usual. I was also starting to feel a bit tense about things we still had to take care of here before we go north and wondering when it will all get done with the social agenda we already have planned. It was a pretty windy day yesterday and that always bothers me too. So my agitation managed to rub off on the rest of the family. Interesting.
This morning I woke up feeling more rested, feeling my faith return that everything we need to do will get done and will be done with joy. As I write this, Sami and AJ are using their headphones to listen to a new Karaoke CD that Sami got for her birthday. They are singing together and dancing little toys all over Sami's bed. Cary and Nuke are still asleep. The birds are chirping and there is a gentle warm breeze blowing. That peaceful calm is filling me again.
...
Just before Sami's birthday, we went to a kinesiologist who, after getting Sami's body in balance then tested her to see how she processes various foods. For many years I've suspected she's had something going on in that department but I hadn't been able to find the right person to assist us. Or the time just wasn't right. Recently, Sami started complaining much more often of a sore tummy. She also started saying that her brain is "all fuzzy" and she's "thinking all crooked". So, it turns out she is intolerant to wheat, gluten, high fat and refined sugar. Which means that her body just does not digest those things which is why they are stored on her physical body. She's now ready to help herself more and is interested in getting a clearer brain and wants to trim down a bit. She knows that she needs to avoid those foods, but is in a transition phase of still wanting them for their familiarity and comfort. We're looking for alternatives and just bought a bread machine and are experimenting with new flours. She can have spelt so that's good and the spelt waffles I made on the weekend were very popular! I'm sorry that it took 10 years for us to realise this, but at least we now know.
Since Cary left for the USA up until a week or so ago, he has lost 25lbs. He was trying at first, being careful with what he ate, exercising regularly. Doing that he lost the first 15lbs. Then he just stopped focusing on it and just focused more on enjoying life and the family and the rest just seemed to melt off him. He's feeling more relaxed and connected and that's a wonderful gift for him and us.
Up until yesterday when I woke up tired after several nights in a row where my sleep had been interrupted quite a bit by noisy neighbours and Nuke wanting to nurse a lot more than usual. I was also starting to feel a bit tense about things we still had to take care of here before we go north and wondering when it will all get done with the social agenda we already have planned. It was a pretty windy day yesterday and that always bothers me too. So my agitation managed to rub off on the rest of the family. Interesting.
This morning I woke up feeling more rested, feeling my faith return that everything we need to do will get done and will be done with joy. As I write this, Sami and AJ are using their headphones to listen to a new Karaoke CD that Sami got for her birthday. They are singing together and dancing little toys all over Sami's bed. Cary and Nuke are still asleep. The birds are chirping and there is a gentle warm breeze blowing. That peaceful calm is filling me again.
...
Just before Sami's birthday, we went to a kinesiologist who, after getting Sami's body in balance then tested her to see how she processes various foods. For many years I've suspected she's had something going on in that department but I hadn't been able to find the right person to assist us. Or the time just wasn't right. Recently, Sami started complaining much more often of a sore tummy. She also started saying that her brain is "all fuzzy" and she's "thinking all crooked". So, it turns out she is intolerant to wheat, gluten, high fat and refined sugar. Which means that her body just does not digest those things which is why they are stored on her physical body. She's now ready to help herself more and is interested in getting a clearer brain and wants to trim down a bit. She knows that she needs to avoid those foods, but is in a transition phase of still wanting them for their familiarity and comfort. We're looking for alternatives and just bought a bread machine and are experimenting with new flours. She can have spelt so that's good and the spelt waffles I made on the weekend were very popular! I'm sorry that it took 10 years for us to realise this, but at least we now know.
Since Cary left for the USA up until a week or so ago, he has lost 25lbs. He was trying at first, being careful with what he ate, exercising regularly. Doing that he lost the first 15lbs. Then he just stopped focusing on it and just focused more on enjoying life and the family and the rest just seemed to melt off him. He's feeling more relaxed and connected and that's a wonderful gift for him and us.
Monday, December 10, 2007
a jolly time
A lot of people have told us lately how relaxed we look. Yeah, we're certainly in a pretty nice groove at the moment. Even this typically crazy time of the year is not bothering me like it has in the past. I'm just not doing as much about it. We're getting less presents for fewer people and the Christmas cards will either get done, or they won't.
It's Sami's birthday in two days. She has one more regular school day left, then another day of clean up and presentations and the last day is just a big picnic at a local creek/beach area. In two days our girl will turn 10 - no more single digits! For her birthday I got one of those flip over photo albums that holds 100 photos. I've chosen 10 photos from each year of her life so far. It was so much fun doing that. I think she'll enjoy looking through it and seeing some of the many people and places and fun times she's experienced.
We're all looking forward to moving on from here in 12 days time. I'm so calm about everything, it's the best present I could give to myself - and the rest of the family! It's good.
It's Sami's birthday in two days. She has one more regular school day left, then another day of clean up and presentations and the last day is just a big picnic at a local creek/beach area. In two days our girl will turn 10 - no more single digits! For her birthday I got one of those flip over photo albums that holds 100 photos. I've chosen 10 photos from each year of her life so far. It was so much fun doing that. I think she'll enjoy looking through it and seeing some of the many people and places and fun times she's experienced.
We're all looking forward to moving on from here in 12 days time. I'm so calm about everything, it's the best present I could give to myself - and the rest of the family! It's good.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Clarity
Several weeks ago, I was going in circles, knowing I needed to change some things, but not knowing exactly what. I was finally guided to ask for clarity....and it is coming.
My own goals, and our family goals are so much clearer. I am grateful.
It has kick started a new phase and given enthusiasm and energy to where we're at now.
We're having a major clean up in our camper. Really thinking about what we're taking with us when we head north. What do we need? What do we want? How much/how little can we be comfortable with? Already the space in our camper has a lighter feel as we take the excess books and games and toys and general stuff to our storage unit. Another garage sale this weekend - hopefully the last one for quite a while - will allow us to move our stuff into a much smaller storage unit.
Sami has another week of school before she finishes (again). She recently performed in her class play and absolutely shone. I must find drama classes for her when we head north. I'm excited to meet the other homeschoolers there. AJ's been enjoying gymnastics and they've both been swimming a lot. Nicholas speaks more words every day - all day every day that is...he starts chatting from the moment he gets up until he falls asleep. And his volume is loud! Oh boy is he a funny character.
I'm so blessed to have these three special souls in our family. Each of them shining in their own way. Teaching me so much, and in the process allowing me to shine too. With the love and support and encouragement from Cary too, I am very happy.
It was Cary's birthday on the 3rd. Sami made him a happy birthday card and she 'accidentally' wrote "have a God birthday" (instead of good birthday). We thought she had it right though.
I hope y'all are enjoying this month with peace and love and I wish you a God day.
My own goals, and our family goals are so much clearer. I am grateful.
It has kick started a new phase and given enthusiasm and energy to where we're at now.
We're having a major clean up in our camper. Really thinking about what we're taking with us when we head north. What do we need? What do we want? How much/how little can we be comfortable with? Already the space in our camper has a lighter feel as we take the excess books and games and toys and general stuff to our storage unit. Another garage sale this weekend - hopefully the last one for quite a while - will allow us to move our stuff into a much smaller storage unit.
Sami has another week of school before she finishes (again). She recently performed in her class play and absolutely shone. I must find drama classes for her when we head north. I'm excited to meet the other homeschoolers there. AJ's been enjoying gymnastics and they've both been swimming a lot. Nicholas speaks more words every day - all day every day that is...he starts chatting from the moment he gets up until he falls asleep. And his volume is loud! Oh boy is he a funny character.
I'm so blessed to have these three special souls in our family. Each of them shining in their own way. Teaching me so much, and in the process allowing me to shine too. With the love and support and encouragement from Cary too, I am very happy.
It was Cary's birthday on the 3rd. Sami made him a happy birthday card and she 'accidentally' wrote "have a God birthday" (instead of good birthday). We thought she had it right though.
I hope y'all are enjoying this month with peace and love and I wish you a God day.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
late Nov 07
Nicholas and I went to my Mums for 3 nights to help her out with some jobs at her place. It was the first time I'd left Sami and AJ for so long. I felt a bit strange doing so, but knew the time would go quickly. They ended up having a great time with Cary and going to a couple of parties. Such a great time that they hardly ever called me. I'm glad it went well. Apparently it was very quiet around here without the little guy's constant chatter.
Nicholas really missed everyone (and so did I). He stayed very close to me the whole weekend which made it a little hard to do much, but it was lovely. I got to drive our new truck on the trip. It went great and I loved cruising along the highway with the sunroof open, the windows up and the music on. Nicholas was a happy traveller on the 3 hours there and back.
I love driving on the roads here. Cary calls the main highway a country road. Ok, it is only one lane each way for most of it, with some overtaking lanes built in along the way. But to me, they are interesting. The curves, the hills, the countryside. It's so beautiful and interesting. Old, abandoned buildings, full of history - I can just feel the pioneers who first brought their families this way. I can imagine how the area looked back then, I wonder about the women and think about how hard they must have worked and wonder "were they happy?"
I was very happy to get back home to our little camper. We have arranged to move further north on 22 December. So we're started to prepare for that - using up the excess food, taking the winter clothes to storage and really thinking about what we've been using and what we will need for the hot summer ahead. Cary did buy a mobile air conditioner for the camper which isn't too bulky. AJ and I could be comfortable in the summer just with a fan when there is no breeze. But the rest of the family really feels the heat so the a/c will make them more comfortable. Hmm, maybe I should keep some of the winter things with us for AJ and I.
It feels good to have a plan. I am trying to think of some creative things we can do for Cary's and Sami's birthdays which are coming up soon, as well as Christmas. We won't be doing much in the way of presents as we simply don't have the space (or frankly, the desire to get any more stuff). So we might put tickets to Australia Zoo under the tree (or whatever we use in place of a tree) for Christmas with some favourite foods and that might be it. Decorations will be minimal. I'm aiming for a Christmas that has more meaning, more family connection, less "stuff" and less stress.
So far so good. I'll let you know how that plan goes!
Nicholas really missed everyone (and so did I). He stayed very close to me the whole weekend which made it a little hard to do much, but it was lovely. I got to drive our new truck on the trip. It went great and I loved cruising along the highway with the sunroof open, the windows up and the music on. Nicholas was a happy traveller on the 3 hours there and back.
I love driving on the roads here. Cary calls the main highway a country road. Ok, it is only one lane each way for most of it, with some overtaking lanes built in along the way. But to me, they are interesting. The curves, the hills, the countryside. It's so beautiful and interesting. Old, abandoned buildings, full of history - I can just feel the pioneers who first brought their families this way. I can imagine how the area looked back then, I wonder about the women and think about how hard they must have worked and wonder "were they happy?"
I was very happy to get back home to our little camper. We have arranged to move further north on 22 December. So we're started to prepare for that - using up the excess food, taking the winter clothes to storage and really thinking about what we've been using and what we will need for the hot summer ahead. Cary did buy a mobile air conditioner for the camper which isn't too bulky. AJ and I could be comfortable in the summer just with a fan when there is no breeze. But the rest of the family really feels the heat so the a/c will make them more comfortable. Hmm, maybe I should keep some of the winter things with us for AJ and I.
It feels good to have a plan. I am trying to think of some creative things we can do for Cary's and Sami's birthdays which are coming up soon, as well as Christmas. We won't be doing much in the way of presents as we simply don't have the space (or frankly, the desire to get any more stuff). So we might put tickets to Australia Zoo under the tree (or whatever we use in place of a tree) for Christmas with some favourite foods and that might be it. Decorations will be minimal. I'm aiming for a Christmas that has more meaning, more family connection, less "stuff" and less stress.
So far so good. I'll let you know how that plan goes!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
releasing Judgement
I was walking along the beach this morning. It's a place that always nourishes me spiritually. It's a place that feels ...like home.
I walked while watching a(nother) magnificent sunrise. I thought about how easy it is to appreciate something so beautiful and how challenging it can be to appreciate something not so beautiful. I thought of how judgemental I was of the area when we lived in Las Vegas. It took me years to accept and appreciate the unique beauty of the desert.
I thought of how easy it is to enjoy my children when they are happy and how challenging it can be sometimes when they are showing sides of themselves that are, well, not so pretty. How hard it can be to look through statements like "I hate you mum" yelled from my pre-pubescent daughter. I know she really means that she does not like what I'm saying because she knows it to be true but doesn't want to admit it. But it's hard not to let it get to me a bit especially when it comes with huffing and puffing and major attitude.
So I'm really working on noticing my thoughts and noticing when I'm being judgemental towards others or myself. To see the love that is always there, even when it's hidden behind a veil of fear. To release judgement and let things just be
I walked while watching a(nother) magnificent sunrise. I thought about how easy it is to appreciate something so beautiful and how challenging it can be to appreciate something not so beautiful. I thought of how judgemental I was of the area when we lived in Las Vegas. It took me years to accept and appreciate the unique beauty of the desert.
I thought of how easy it is to enjoy my children when they are happy and how challenging it can be sometimes when they are showing sides of themselves that are, well, not so pretty. How hard it can be to look through statements like "I hate you mum" yelled from my pre-pubescent daughter. I know she really means that she does not like what I'm saying because she knows it to be true but doesn't want to admit it. But it's hard not to let it get to me a bit especially when it comes with huffing and puffing and major attitude.
So I'm really working on noticing my thoughts and noticing when I'm being judgemental towards others or myself. To see the love that is always there, even when it's hidden behind a veil of fear. To release judgement and let things just be
Saturday, November 17, 2007
always growing
There's been an undercurrent occurring in my life that I have been denying.
I was stuck here for some time in a mental pattern I found challenging. I was stuck in a very judgemental process creating a downward spiral. The judgement was focused on my own surroundings. I lost the joy of what we are doing and starting listening to what others were saying. The tone of their voices as they felt sorry for me for living in this old camper in cramped conditions with the whole family. On top of that, selling the nice car we had recently and driving the smaller car that was also more cramped and has the headliner falling down and a temperamental cassette player. And of course, dealing with it all through the rain. "oh you poor thing." was something that I heard over and over and over. I started believing it.
I would try and talk to people about the positives but I could tell they were kind of shocked or thought we were in financial trouble or thought there was no way in heck they would be doing what we're doing. I reminded myself about why we're doing this but then I started seeing things through their pity. Instead of freedom and adventure, I was seeing insecurity. Instead of joy, I saw doubt. Instead of fun with my children I started feeling resentment that I wasn't getting any time for me. All because I listened to other people who just don't get it.
It helps now that Cary is back and we can support each other on this path.
I knew there was a spiritual lesson in all of this. At least one.
To start with, I thought about the physical image of our home and car.
I came to see that it's not the external image we project but the internal image we hold and allow ourselves to see. I needed to remind myself that I am a good person and have respect for myself and the things I have. To feel grateful for what I have. I decided that when I could get comfortable with that - truly and deeply - then abundance will manifest in my life. I think I had bought into other people opinions that we were poor and so I started living with a lack mentality. I can now see the beauty around me, the space, the freedom, the flexibility, the adventure.
I started taking some time for me, to recharge. It's important and I need to let my family see that I respect myself enough to do this. Doing this helps me remember my path, my reasons for doing this and helps me stay strong in my decisions and joyful during my day.
I finally was ready to read 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. I've known about the books for years, and even seen the movie, but I'd never read a book. The other day at the library, Book one said to me "it's time to read me now". The first 5 pages were enough to realise that I hadn't been letting go and letting God do enough in my life. I felt joyful and lighter immediately.
And so, I am letting go of OPO (other people's opinion's) that I had absorbed. I am working on my own spiritual energy - protecting, grounding, expanding.
I'm feeling excited again.
It's all good.
I was stuck here for some time in a mental pattern I found challenging. I was stuck in a very judgemental process creating a downward spiral. The judgement was focused on my own surroundings. I lost the joy of what we are doing and starting listening to what others were saying. The tone of their voices as they felt sorry for me for living in this old camper in cramped conditions with the whole family. On top of that, selling the nice car we had recently and driving the smaller car that was also more cramped and has the headliner falling down and a temperamental cassette player. And of course, dealing with it all through the rain. "oh you poor thing." was something that I heard over and over and over. I started believing it.
I would try and talk to people about the positives but I could tell they were kind of shocked or thought we were in financial trouble or thought there was no way in heck they would be doing what we're doing. I reminded myself about why we're doing this but then I started seeing things through their pity. Instead of freedom and adventure, I was seeing insecurity. Instead of joy, I saw doubt. Instead of fun with my children I started feeling resentment that I wasn't getting any time for me. All because I listened to other people who just don't get it.
It helps now that Cary is back and we can support each other on this path.
I knew there was a spiritual lesson in all of this. At least one.
To start with, I thought about the physical image of our home and car.
I came to see that it's not the external image we project but the internal image we hold and allow ourselves to see. I needed to remind myself that I am a good person and have respect for myself and the things I have. To feel grateful for what I have. I decided that when I could get comfortable with that - truly and deeply - then abundance will manifest in my life. I think I had bought into other people opinions that we were poor and so I started living with a lack mentality. I can now see the beauty around me, the space, the freedom, the flexibility, the adventure.
I started taking some time for me, to recharge. It's important and I need to let my family see that I respect myself enough to do this. Doing this helps me remember my path, my reasons for doing this and helps me stay strong in my decisions and joyful during my day.
I finally was ready to read 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. I've known about the books for years, and even seen the movie, but I'd never read a book. The other day at the library, Book one said to me "it's time to read me now". The first 5 pages were enough to realise that I hadn't been letting go and letting God do enough in my life. I felt joyful and lighter immediately.
And so, I am letting go of OPO (other people's opinion's) that I had absorbed. I am working on my own spiritual energy - protecting, grounding, expanding.
I'm feeling excited again.
It's all good.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sensory cornucopia
My joy meter has worked itself up from the recent trough it was in to reach a peak experience this morning:
Sleeping beauties
time alone
sandals on, time for a walk.
Onto the path
what? why?
the beach in on the other side of those trees.
20 seconds later, I'm on the sand
sandals off
The smell! fresh, salty air
The feel! the sand and small stones and shells massaging the soles of my feet
warm ocean water bathing my lower legs
the sea foam so very soft like liquid silk through my toes.
The sight! the blue and green water, so clean, so clear
beautiful waves
patterns on the shore
The sound! Waves rolling
strong and confident, with a purpose
like me
birds flying, so free and beautiful
like me
surfers catching waves
so adventurous
like me
My spirit nourished, full of this natural abundance, these gifts.
I am so grateful
excited
knowing anything and everything is possible
we are all connected
we are one
Sleeping beauties
time alone
sandals on, time for a walk.
Onto the path
what? why?
the beach in on the other side of those trees.
20 seconds later, I'm on the sand
sandals off
The smell! fresh, salty air
The feel! the sand and small stones and shells massaging the soles of my feet
warm ocean water bathing my lower legs
the sea foam so very soft like liquid silk through my toes.
The sight! the blue and green water, so clean, so clear
beautiful waves
patterns on the shore
The sound! Waves rolling
strong and confident, with a purpose
like me
birds flying, so free and beautiful
like me
surfers catching waves
so adventurous
like me
My spirit nourished, full of this natural abundance, these gifts.
I am so grateful
excited
knowing anything and everything is possible
we are all connected
we are one
Thursday, November 08, 2007
25 days
Have I ever mentioned that we get a bit of rain here?! Oh my golly, it just hasn't stopped lately. Well, it has stopped for a few minutes here and there, but it's rained a lot lately, and it's expected to continue for another 5 days or so. It's like living in the tropics but we're squashed into a teeny two room place. Yeah, we're going to need a bigger camper before too much longer. And one without canvas. I've discovered that all the canvas ones - even the brand new ones - get damp on the inside with a lot of rain.
As we are staying put here for a while longer, Sami really wanted to go back to school. She misses her teacher and all the singing and wanted to be a part of the end of year play. There are only 25 school days left in the year and if it makes her happier, I surrender. I saw the joy in her face when she spoke about going back and I could not deny her. AJ does not want to go back. Sami said that she does want to homeschool when we get on the road, but seeing as we've really not gone anywhere, she'd like to be back at school.
As we are staying put here for a while longer, Sami really wanted to go back to school. She misses her teacher and all the singing and wanted to be a part of the end of year play. There are only 25 school days left in the year and if it makes her happier, I surrender. I saw the joy in her face when she spoke about going back and I could not deny her. AJ does not want to go back. Sami said that she does want to homeschool when we get on the road, but seeing as we've really not gone anywhere, she'd like to be back at school.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Transition
During birth, transition is the stage when the mama thinks she just cannot go on. The babe is usually born very soon afterwards.
I had my own transition here last week. I reached the point where I was just "done" with all of this. The rain, the mildew, the constant dampness, the wind, the cramped conditions, not being able to find things easily, light bulbs blowing in the night, torrential rain knocking part of the annexe over, rain getting in and soaking the beds when we went out leaving the windows unzipped a little, tons of extra washing, the constant work, blah blah blah.
After transition comes the birth and a wonderful feeling of release and joy, although the mama is usually tired from the process. I thought back to my post regarding 'it's all about me'. Where I wrote about it being my responsibility to choose my focus. I KNOW this. This time the thought wasn't too far away. I knew it was there, I knew it was up to me to change how things were going, I just didn't feel capable. I needed to go deep into that transition, to really feel it, to get to a point where I sobbed deeply and for as long as was necessary to release it all. Years of pent up frustrations and old conditionings came through while I was sitting amongst a huge pile of wet laundry, with the camper a total mess and the rain still coming down. The children witnessed, they comforted but I did not stop for their sake, I kept going for me, not holding back, just letting it flow until it was done. Then I got up and did what had to be done - the washing, the meals, the shift in attitude.
I thought of people so much worse off than me. I wondered how I can always find so much stuff to do when living in such a little place. It seemed almost comical that, no matter what size place I live in, I can keep so busy taking care of the place. I wondered how I would live if I was told I had two years left to live - or what about two months?! Would I be so concerned with another wet towel dropped in a pile on a chair or would I just point out calmly that the towel won't dry if left like that, or even just hang it up myself without complaint?
I've had my transition, I feel lighter and more joyful, but tired. I'm a new babe and calmly determined to live with more love and lightness in my life.
I do not want to stop living like this, I know it is temporary and one day I will look back and this time with very fond memories. I am grateful for all of the lessons I'm getting, for the growth that's happening with all of us and for the fresh air and sunshine (even when it's hiding behind grey skies). I'm looking forward to the travel plans that we have and the adventures of mind, body and spirit that await us.
I had my own transition here last week. I reached the point where I was just "done" with all of this. The rain, the mildew, the constant dampness, the wind, the cramped conditions, not being able to find things easily, light bulbs blowing in the night, torrential rain knocking part of the annexe over, rain getting in and soaking the beds when we went out leaving the windows unzipped a little, tons of extra washing, the constant work, blah blah blah.
After transition comes the birth and a wonderful feeling of release and joy, although the mama is usually tired from the process. I thought back to my post regarding 'it's all about me'. Where I wrote about it being my responsibility to choose my focus. I KNOW this. This time the thought wasn't too far away. I knew it was there, I knew it was up to me to change how things were going, I just didn't feel capable. I needed to go deep into that transition, to really feel it, to get to a point where I sobbed deeply and for as long as was necessary to release it all. Years of pent up frustrations and old conditionings came through while I was sitting amongst a huge pile of wet laundry, with the camper a total mess and the rain still coming down. The children witnessed, they comforted but I did not stop for their sake, I kept going for me, not holding back, just letting it flow until it was done. Then I got up and did what had to be done - the washing, the meals, the shift in attitude.
I thought of people so much worse off than me. I wondered how I can always find so much stuff to do when living in such a little place. It seemed almost comical that, no matter what size place I live in, I can keep so busy taking care of the place. I wondered how I would live if I was told I had two years left to live - or what about two months?! Would I be so concerned with another wet towel dropped in a pile on a chair or would I just point out calmly that the towel won't dry if left like that, or even just hang it up myself without complaint?
I've had my transition, I feel lighter and more joyful, but tired. I'm a new babe and calmly determined to live with more love and lightness in my life.
I do not want to stop living like this, I know it is temporary and one day I will look back and this time with very fond memories. I am grateful for all of the lessons I'm getting, for the growth that's happening with all of us and for the fresh air and sunshine (even when it's hiding behind grey skies). I'm looking forward to the travel plans that we have and the adventures of mind, body and spirit that await us.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Peek-a-
BOO!
(Nuke was actually playing peek-a-boo when AJ took this pic)
AHHHHH!
(Sami & AJ on right with two new spooky friends on Halloween)
ARGH! Ahoy, shiver me timbers, wot's all this then?
Halloween is not an Aussie tradition. However, in recent years, as this country becomes more like an adolescent USA, more shops are carrying halloween decorations, costumes and candy. More people are having parties. More kids are attempting to go trick-or-treating. They usually go right after school finishes for the day, rather than as soon as it's dark as is the tradition in the USA.
AJ was determined to give it a go, though I did warn him that most aussies aren't into the festivity so probably won't have much. He got a few spooky friends together and off they went, not even noticing that it was raining. They got things like a handful of jellybeans, a half-eaten bag of mints, a few cookies, some coins, and some other bits and pieces. Several people went out and made up little goody bags filled with different candy for the kids. I did a treasure hunt for all the kids which helped them fill up their bags and they had plenty of sweet stuff.
Other examples of Australia becoming a mini USA are tv commercials with American voices, and teenagers starting to speak with American accents. Scary!
Hope y'all had a happy Halloween!
(Nuke was actually playing peek-a-boo when AJ took this pic)
AHHHHH!
(Sami & AJ on right with two new spooky friends on Halloween)
ARGH! Ahoy, shiver me timbers, wot's all this then?
Halloween is not an Aussie tradition. However, in recent years, as this country becomes more like an adolescent USA, more shops are carrying halloween decorations, costumes and candy. More people are having parties. More kids are attempting to go trick-or-treating. They usually go right after school finishes for the day, rather than as soon as it's dark as is the tradition in the USA.
AJ was determined to give it a go, though I did warn him that most aussies aren't into the festivity so probably won't have much. He got a few spooky friends together and off they went, not even noticing that it was raining. They got things like a handful of jellybeans, a half-eaten bag of mints, a few cookies, some coins, and some other bits and pieces. Several people went out and made up little goody bags filled with different candy for the kids. I did a treasure hunt for all the kids which helped them fill up their bags and they had plenty of sweet stuff.
Other examples of Australia becoming a mini USA are tv commercials with American voices, and teenagers starting to speak with American accents. Scary!
Hope y'all had a happy Halloween!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
random ramblings brewing
I knew change was coming...I kept seeing 55 and 555 (numerology re change), preparing me that change was on it's way.
There's a change brewing inside of me. My passion is growing. My own goals are getting much clearer. Figuring out how to balance those with the rest of the family. Where do I draw the line and say "I am not prepared to compromise on....!" ?
Cary is going to stay in Vegas a bit longer to complete some deals that are taking longer than expected. At this point, it looks like he'll be here by mid-November. We're all disappointed, but not surprised. He's had an interesting opportunity come his way which add a new change to the plan. Living with him I've had to be very flexible. One of the side-effects of being self-employed.
Several days a month I would love to escape into a red tent. Today in one of those days.
I've been feeling low and questioning things in my life. That usually signals a breakthrough to a deeper understanding and clarification of what is going on externally and internally.
There's a change brewing inside of me. My passion is growing. My own goals are getting much clearer. Figuring out how to balance those with the rest of the family. Where do I draw the line and say "I am not prepared to compromise on....!" ?
Cary is going to stay in Vegas a bit longer to complete some deals that are taking longer than expected. At this point, it looks like he'll be here by mid-November. We're all disappointed, but not surprised. He's had an interesting opportunity come his way which add a new change to the plan. Living with him I've had to be very flexible. One of the side-effects of being self-employed.
Several days a month I would love to escape into a red tent. Today in one of those days.
I've been feeling low and questioning things in my life. That usually signals a breakthrough to a deeper understanding and clarification of what is going on externally and internally.
As a total coincidence, the last two books I've read have talked about gypsies and nomads. From the first time I heard about these groups of people (many,many years ago), I have been fascinated. Books, movies, stories have always caught my attention. Often when I would go to a fancy-dress party, I would dress up as a gypsy. I love the idea of freedom and adventure and living simply and close to nature. Something else has occurred to me - yes, moving around like that sounds ideal (for now), but also being a part of a community. I'm missing a tribal connection. We still see some of the friends we met at the Steiner/Waldorf school, but I'm keen to get on the road and meet up with the big homeschooling group up north on the Sunshine Coast.
An interesting gypsy tradition has them destroying and then burning all of a persons possessions after they die. The family may keep one small memento (like a wedding ring). Of the things we still have in storage, what would I still keep if I knew that they would all be destroyed upon my death? How would this affect future purchases?
For some time, I've been toying with the idea of a new name. "Annette" is who I was. When someone asks me my name and I tell them, it feels like I'm talking about someone else. It's like it's the caterpillar name for me and I need a name for the butterfly me that I Am now. I'd like a name with "iam" as part of it so that every time I wrote or said it, I'd remind myself that "I AM", but as Sami has those 3 letters in her name, I don't know if that's too similar. When I was looking for names for my children, I spent hours researching a name for meaning, sound, numerology. I got so twisted about it and wished that I hadn't done that, but just let the name come to me. I found it easier to name our kittens than our children. And I still don't think the children got the 'right' name, but I do think they have grown into their names. There is a name I've started using on a small scale, just to try it out. It does not have 'iam' in it, but it just feels good.
More rain here, but it's no longer cold with it. And everything is so green!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Living a long, full life
While we were at my Mums place recently, we also saw my StepDad who lives in a nursing home. With the health problems of him and my Mum and Grandma and, well most of the other people we saw while we were there, it stimulated a thought that's been brewing in my head for quite some time.
How many of the problems connected with ageing can be prevented?
How much is genetic?
How much is created by our physical environments?
How much is created by our mental conditioning, habits, stress?
Is there a point at which the effect of past bad-habits can be stopped or reversed?
In my mind, one of the worst things for us is stress, or perhaps the way we cope with stress, or create too much stress in our lives. The physical stress of what we eat, how we move, how much we move, how little rest we have. The mental stress of finances, family, what has to be done, etc. Emotional stress of relationships, and our connection with ourselves.
Ok, so say we can reduce the negative stress in our lives, get on track with a diet that agrees with us, balance our exercise habits with getting enough rest and play. Find a way to accept the other situations we cannot change, make a plan for the ones we can, and have the wisdom to know the difference. (!) Make time for our own connection and growth. What else can give us the vitality that may, perhaps, extend our life or at least give it a deeper fullness? Some may say a feeling of contribution, service, faith or peace. What would you say?
I say Passion! Whether it's the kind that makes you jump out of bed in the morning, all excited to spend time doing or even thinking about what fills you with the Knowing that you are doing what you were sent here to do. Or if it's the kind that gives you a calmer sense of enthusiastic contentment whenever you lift your hand to write or paint or sing or dance or whatever it is that you deeply enjoy. What fuels you? What puts a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step whenever you think about it?
I believe that following our Passion can extend our life, fill our soul, create a healthier body and mind.
If you cannot honestly say "I am happy", perhaps you could use more Passion in your life. What do you love to do? What fills you with timelessness whenever you do it? What connects you to a deeper place where it all just feels 'right'? What is preventing you from spending more or any time on this? If you're limited by money or having someone to watch the kids or distance, spend time reading about your passion and visualise yourself doing it. Act how you would act if you could spend more time on your Passion.
You deserve a Passionate, Healthy, Full Life! There are always ways to live that way when you get committed to yourself. You can do it!
How many of the problems connected with ageing can be prevented?
How much is genetic?
How much is created by our physical environments?
How much is created by our mental conditioning, habits, stress?
Is there a point at which the effect of past bad-habits can be stopped or reversed?
In my mind, one of the worst things for us is stress, or perhaps the way we cope with stress, or create too much stress in our lives. The physical stress of what we eat, how we move, how much we move, how little rest we have. The mental stress of finances, family, what has to be done, etc. Emotional stress of relationships, and our connection with ourselves.
Ok, so say we can reduce the negative stress in our lives, get on track with a diet that agrees with us, balance our exercise habits with getting enough rest and play. Find a way to accept the other situations we cannot change, make a plan for the ones we can, and have the wisdom to know the difference. (!) Make time for our own connection and growth. What else can give us the vitality that may, perhaps, extend our life or at least give it a deeper fullness? Some may say a feeling of contribution, service, faith or peace. What would you say?
I say Passion! Whether it's the kind that makes you jump out of bed in the morning, all excited to spend time doing or even thinking about what fills you with the Knowing that you are doing what you were sent here to do. Or if it's the kind that gives you a calmer sense of enthusiastic contentment whenever you lift your hand to write or paint or sing or dance or whatever it is that you deeply enjoy. What fuels you? What puts a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step whenever you think about it?
I believe that following our Passion can extend our life, fill our soul, create a healthier body and mind.
If you cannot honestly say "I am happy", perhaps you could use more Passion in your life. What do you love to do? What fills you with timelessness whenever you do it? What connects you to a deeper place where it all just feels 'right'? What is preventing you from spending more or any time on this? If you're limited by money or having someone to watch the kids or distance, spend time reading about your passion and visualise yourself doing it. Act how you would act if you could spend more time on your Passion.
You deserve a Passionate, Healthy, Full Life! There are always ways to live that way when you get committed to yourself. You can do it!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Road trip to Grandmas
We just got back from a little trip to my Mums place. Before we left, I was a bit nervous about leaving. It was a security concern. We have insurance on it all, but it only covers things in the actual caravan, it won't cover anything left in the annexe. So I put a lot of our stuff in the caravan before we left. I was also concerned about rain & strong winds while we were away so I just tightened everything up and asked some friends here to keep an eye on the place while we were gone. Then I put a Reiki protection circle around the entire place before we left and let go of any concerns. I took with me the most valuable things we have - our children. Everything else can be replaced.
I was curious how it would be staying in a house again. It felt a bit strange at first but I did come to enjoy the convenience of having running water, a dishwasher, space to spread our stuff out, and a bath. I also felt a bit confined and really missed just living outdoors, feeling closer to nature and each other.
While we were there, we visited with my 91 yr old grandmother. She started telling me that the kids miss their school. I said "no they don't". I told her some of the ways that our children are getting a real life education and added in "they certainly aren't missing out on the social aspect". A lot of people seem concerned that homeschooled kids miss out on the social side of school. Ha! I love that my children have friends of all ages, instead of just that of their own age group. Living this way, they are meeting people from all over the world and playing with children who may not speak the same language they do. They get more time to play freely instead of a limited 30 minutes twice a day, 5 days a week. They learn from life. On the drive down to my Mums, Sami kept asking me "give me a sum". We did that for quite a while as the boys slept. I couldn't hold her back - she, as is the case with all children - has such a strong urge to learn and I love that we honour that urge when it is present. When she's begging to learn about math (or anything else) is when she's going to retain that knowledge. When she's being force-fed, it's just going to spew out again. Also on the way to Mums, Sami read lots of the road signs and billboards and we discussed what some of the advertising was about. She had a compass and kept an eye on the direction we were going and noticed how sometimes you have to go west (or east or even north) to get to your destination which was actually south. My Grandmother - who is very spirited and set in her opinions - was not convinced and ended with "I'm just concerned about their schooling". I replied with "thank you" and a smile and let it go.
AJ had been feeling a bit off for a few days with a bit of a cough. He rested most of the way, played his DS, helped Nicholas with snacks and water, did some finger-knitting of a black and orange garland for Halloween, played I-spy, looked at books, told us stories and pointed out the different farm animals to Nicholas.
Nicholas was a great traveller. He told me when he needed to go to the bathroom and happily got back into his seat each time. The trip took 4 hours there with having to stop 3 times and getting held up at roadworks. On the way back, it took 3 hours and a few minutes with only 2 stops and less roadworks.
I enjoyed the journey so much. I almost wanted to keep driving as it was such a great time of feeling and being close to my kids and enjoying the moment and not being concerned with the day to day details of life. Well, I kind of live life that way anyway. I must remember to appreciate it more.
I was curious how it would be staying in a house again. It felt a bit strange at first but I did come to enjoy the convenience of having running water, a dishwasher, space to spread our stuff out, and a bath. I also felt a bit confined and really missed just living outdoors, feeling closer to nature and each other.
While we were there, we visited with my 91 yr old grandmother. She started telling me that the kids miss their school. I said "no they don't". I told her some of the ways that our children are getting a real life education and added in "they certainly aren't missing out on the social aspect". A lot of people seem concerned that homeschooled kids miss out on the social side of school. Ha! I love that my children have friends of all ages, instead of just that of their own age group. Living this way, they are meeting people from all over the world and playing with children who may not speak the same language they do. They get more time to play freely instead of a limited 30 minutes twice a day, 5 days a week. They learn from life. On the drive down to my Mums, Sami kept asking me "give me a sum". We did that for quite a while as the boys slept. I couldn't hold her back - she, as is the case with all children - has such a strong urge to learn and I love that we honour that urge when it is present. When she's begging to learn about math (or anything else) is when she's going to retain that knowledge. When she's being force-fed, it's just going to spew out again. Also on the way to Mums, Sami read lots of the road signs and billboards and we discussed what some of the advertising was about. She had a compass and kept an eye on the direction we were going and noticed how sometimes you have to go west (or east or even north) to get to your destination which was actually south. My Grandmother - who is very spirited and set in her opinions - was not convinced and ended with "I'm just concerned about their schooling". I replied with "thank you" and a smile and let it go.
AJ had been feeling a bit off for a few days with a bit of a cough. He rested most of the way, played his DS, helped Nicholas with snacks and water, did some finger-knitting of a black and orange garland for Halloween, played I-spy, looked at books, told us stories and pointed out the different farm animals to Nicholas.
Nicholas was a great traveller. He told me when he needed to go to the bathroom and happily got back into his seat each time. The trip took 4 hours there with having to stop 3 times and getting held up at roadworks. On the way back, it took 3 hours and a few minutes with only 2 stops and less roadworks.
I enjoyed the journey so much. I almost wanted to keep driving as it was such a great time of feeling and being close to my kids and enjoying the moment and not being concerned with the day to day details of life. Well, I kind of live life that way anyway. I must remember to appreciate it more.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
weather & me
The Spring road here takes two steps forward and half a step back. The weather warms up to a certain point, then cools off again for a couple of days, often with patches of rain and wind with it. Of course the rain helps everything to continue being so lush and green and vibrant. But do we have to have the cool weather with it? Probably not for much longer.
I am just not a cool weather person. After 42 years, I'm still amazed at how it throws me off balance. I tend to eat differently which makes me not feel as good, and I'm just not as joyful as when it's warm out. I know I feel great when I eat mostly fresh fruits and veges, I just don't crave those as much when it's cool.
I guess I'm just a tropical girl. If I had to settle down, it would have to be in the tropics. As I don't have to or need to, I'm happy being a gypsy and travelling. The intention is that we have an endless spring/summer. Yeah, it's good.
I am just not a cool weather person. After 42 years, I'm still amazed at how it throws me off balance. I tend to eat differently which makes me not feel as good, and I'm just not as joyful as when it's warm out. I know I feel great when I eat mostly fresh fruits and veges, I just don't crave those as much when it's cool.
I guess I'm just a tropical girl. If I had to settle down, it would have to be in the tropics. As I don't have to or need to, I'm happy being a gypsy and travelling. The intention is that we have an endless spring/summer. Yeah, it's good.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Ghost town
It feels a bit like a ghost town around here. Ever since school went back, the park has emptied out a lot. The new wave of visitors here seem to be families with small children, European families on an extended visit and young singles or couples.
I kind of miss the busy, crazy time with lots of kids around here. But this is nice too. I'm getting to see more of my kids again and we're doing more things together.
We've had a couple of cool, drizzly days here. Back to jeans and long sleeves. Two nights ago the wind was wild. I couldn't sleep for a while as I listened to boogie boards surfing up the road by themselves. Just adding to that ghost town feel.
Sami is enjoying having a more defined rhythm to our days. She seems calmer. It's probably good for the rest of us too.
Cary gets back here on Halloween. Yay!
I kind of miss the busy, crazy time with lots of kids around here. But this is nice too. I'm getting to see more of my kids again and we're doing more things together.
We've had a couple of cool, drizzly days here. Back to jeans and long sleeves. Two nights ago the wind was wild. I couldn't sleep for a while as I listened to boogie boards surfing up the road by themselves. Just adding to that ghost town feel.
Sami is enjoying having a more defined rhythm to our days. She seems calmer. It's probably good for the rest of us too.
Cary gets back here on Halloween. Yay!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Our walk to Muttonbird Island
Sami really craves rhythm in her life so I've created a rough plan of how our week will go. We've assigned Monday morning as our hiking/bushwalking time. For our first hike, we decided to go to Muttonbird Island. In the photo below, our caravan (RV) park is just a little further along than the island just to the right of the center, and on the other side of the trees. From there, the walk was about 4kms/ 2.5 miles round trip. Nicholas walked most of the way and I carried him when he was tired.
So we set out together with some friends. School goes back tomorrow and Kyle, a 6 yr old friend (who used to be homeschooled but now goes to the Steiner school) and his mama Tracey (who is a good friend of mine) joined us. We stopped to admire some of the beautiful flowers, play at a playground, paddle in the creek and discuss whether we should cross there or go around the bridge. We decided the tide was moving too fast and we walked around. We walked along a bike path, the kids ran and looked in the bushes for lizards. We walked along a breakwall although AJ and Kyle ran along and climbed up on the rocks to look out to sea - maybe they'd see whales or turtles, climbed down the rocks into the calm water of the marina and tried to catch a fish with their bare hands. We continued on and this is the part of the view from half way up the island:
Looking back at the way we came:
Looking south:
We saw some dolphins in the water in front. Around the east side of the island we saw a large sea turtle. So beautifully graceful, all of them.
It was a perfect day. 75 degrees, a very light breeze. It was just glorious to be out and feel free. I saw a small yacht sail out of the marina and my mind thought fondly of previous sailing experiences and I had a deep longing to be on that boat. To sail out to sea, out of sight of land, ahh.
We learned about the migration cycle of the Shearwater birds from the boards that were posted on the island. We saw the nests that are little burrows to protect the eggs and chicks from the sea winds and predators. The birds themselves go in search of food during the day and only return in the evening. Eggs are not due to be laid for another month or so.
The water looked so beautiful. I felt so deeply peaceful and just full of life and something much greater being there, immersed in Mother Nature.
On the way back, we cooled off at a little beach in the marina area. We walked back along the breakwall and then decided to walk back along the beach. The kids found a variety of treasures including cuttlefish, feathers, shells, one sandal and....
a baby turtle!
My first thought was to leave it alone or help it back into the water. Tracey had a closer look and thought it was injured so we wrapped him (somehow they decided it was a boy), and took him to the Pet Porpoise Pool which was conveniently just across the road from where we were. They are like a very small sea world and take rescued sea animals. They have some beautiful peacocks wandering around their grounds and Nicholas was in awe of them.
After all of that excitement, we had a pretty relaxing afternoon. We went to the pool for a little while but apart from that, we just played some games and enjoyed being together.
I wonder what adventures await us this day?
So we set out together with some friends. School goes back tomorrow and Kyle, a 6 yr old friend (who used to be homeschooled but now goes to the Steiner school) and his mama Tracey (who is a good friend of mine) joined us. We stopped to admire some of the beautiful flowers, play at a playground, paddle in the creek and discuss whether we should cross there or go around the bridge. We decided the tide was moving too fast and we walked around. We walked along a bike path, the kids ran and looked in the bushes for lizards. We walked along a breakwall although AJ and Kyle ran along and climbed up on the rocks to look out to sea - maybe they'd see whales or turtles, climbed down the rocks into the calm water of the marina and tried to catch a fish with their bare hands. We continued on and this is the part of the view from half way up the island:
Looking back at the way we came:
Looking south:
We saw some dolphins in the water in front. Around the east side of the island we saw a large sea turtle. So beautifully graceful, all of them.
It was a perfect day. 75 degrees, a very light breeze. It was just glorious to be out and feel free. I saw a small yacht sail out of the marina and my mind thought fondly of previous sailing experiences and I had a deep longing to be on that boat. To sail out to sea, out of sight of land, ahh.
We learned about the migration cycle of the Shearwater birds from the boards that were posted on the island. We saw the nests that are little burrows to protect the eggs and chicks from the sea winds and predators. The birds themselves go in search of food during the day and only return in the evening. Eggs are not due to be laid for another month or so.
The water looked so beautiful. I felt so deeply peaceful and just full of life and something much greater being there, immersed in Mother Nature.
On the way back, we cooled off at a little beach in the marina area. We walked back along the breakwall and then decided to walk back along the beach. The kids found a variety of treasures including cuttlefish, feathers, shells, one sandal and....
a baby turtle!
My first thought was to leave it alone or help it back into the water. Tracey had a closer look and thought it was injured so we wrapped him (somehow they decided it was a boy), and took him to the Pet Porpoise Pool which was conveniently just across the road from where we were. They are like a very small sea world and take rescued sea animals. They have some beautiful peacocks wandering around their grounds and Nicholas was in awe of them.
After all of that excitement, we had a pretty relaxing afternoon. We went to the pool for a little while but apart from that, we just played some games and enjoyed being together.
I wonder what adventures await us this day?
Photos
For many months, Sami has been torn between wanting to grow her hair long and having it cut short. With all the swimming she's been doing, having longer locks has been too much for her to take care of. She's decided she's a short-hair girl and once she made that decision, we went to the hairdressers for a new do. She loves it.
My sister and her family stayed near us for 10 days of the recent school holidays. Her kids are 13,17 & 18 and into some different things to my kids. But we did get together several times for some fun like going to the beach, having a Bar-b-q, and going ice skating:
This was AJ's first time so he was taking advantage of the frames they have for beginners. That's him in the middle of the pic with one of his cousins in the red shirt behind him (don't know who the little girl in the front r/h/side is, probably should have cropped the photo but was lazy, actually trying to get this online before Nuke wakes up). By the end of the session (1.5 hours), he was attempting to skate without the frame or holding on to anyone. He had such a great time as he approached this a lovely mix of determination and joy.
The big kid cousins took time out to be little kids again:
I'm so glad we were able to spend some time together. It's nice having family only a few hours drive away.
Lessons from Mirrors
Something happened yesterday that came out of the blue. Details don't matter, but basically, someone I thought was a friend was not and they were able to interfere with my friendship with another. I was so sad that at first I wanted to cry but then it quickly turned to anger, quietened down to pity and I began to question why this might have happened. The person is very insecure and I think my way of life and ideas threatens her sense of security.
I was angry about why she acts one way in front of me and then obviously talks behind my back. Why do people do that? Why was she so false with her nice mask on?
Is there a mirror here? Is this something I still do? Do I ever say one thing when I'm feeling another? I know I used to sometimes. In peeling my outer layers to expose my real, raw self, maybe this is a lesson. Maybe I'm being shown an extreme example of something I still need to work on. Aligning my inner thoughts with my outer expression. Hmm, I'll have to be more aware of that to see if, when, where it happens.
Maybe it's in the just not saying anything when I really want to. That's most probably it.
Oh, this is exciting, all these great lessons. I'm really enjoying these growth spurts. Even though it's a little painful at times, I feel myself getting stronger all the time. And lighter.
It's all good!
I was angry about why she acts one way in front of me and then obviously talks behind my back. Why do people do that? Why was she so false with her nice mask on?
Is there a mirror here? Is this something I still do? Do I ever say one thing when I'm feeling another? I know I used to sometimes. In peeling my outer layers to expose my real, raw self, maybe this is a lesson. Maybe I'm being shown an extreme example of something I still need to work on. Aligning my inner thoughts with my outer expression. Hmm, I'll have to be more aware of that to see if, when, where it happens.
Maybe it's in the just not saying anything when I really want to. That's most probably it.
Oh, this is exciting, all these great lessons. I'm really enjoying these growth spurts. Even though it's a little painful at times, I feel myself getting stronger all the time. And lighter.
It's all good!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
it's all about me
I'm accepting a new reality. This is MY path, MY journey. Dealing with my current frustrations is a part of that. I'm not waiting for Cary's return for it to be better, I'm making it all better right now. I'm accepting my strength and my role in my own life. It's not that Cary's away, it's not that the children are fighting, it's not the extra people here, it's not the rainy weather. It's ME. I have the power to change my reality but simply changing my focus and my mental chatter. I can choose to feel great or I can choose to feel bad. And it's good to feel good. If I feel bad, then it is only up to me to change that. It's that simple. And I knew all of this, I just forgot. I don't think I'll forget again. I've had enough of giving my power away. I accept it here and now.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
learning from frustration
I've been feeling a little frustrated lately.
Perhaps it's that it's been over 5 weeks since Cary left and I've had very little time to myself. And I miss him.
Perhaps it's that, if I don't keep on top of the cleaning and the clutter, it really starts to bother me. But it only takes 10 minutes to get it all back to tidy again.
Perhaps it's because the 3 kids recently had worms. Worms! They've never had them before. Is that from living like this? No, research shows they are very common. But still, it had me wondering. And doing a LOT more washing than usual.
Perhaps it's because the "honeymoon" period of this new lifestyle is wearing off. The initial "oh we're living like we're on vacation all the time" is over and we're moving into a new acceptance of actually living like this. It's still good, but I have found myself focusing on little annoyances like having to wait for a washing machine (it is school holidays so there are more people in the park at the moment) or try and fit all of our clothes onto a small space of communal clothes line and last night I had to wait for the oven in the camp kitchen because I got there too late and I haven't figured out how to use the oven in our camper, and the tray I had the home-made pizza on for the kids was probably too big for it anyway.
The practical side of living in a small space was bothering me. Some little things I wanted were stored under the seating area which also gets made into the boys bed. I used to undo the bed every day but that was getting too much so now I only undo it every few days. Yesterday I wanted something that was just really hard to get to. I ended up showing my kids how to have a good hissy fit! I need to shuffle things around a bit to make it easier to get to the things I need sometimes and move the things I rarely need to the parts that are harder to get to. Then comes the thought "do I really need some of the things I've brought with me?" I have hardly looked at any of the books I've brought for myself. But it is just nice to know that they are there in case I want to (or get the time to).
Ooh - here's another thought - if I really wanted to look at those books (or do any of the crafts, play the games, etc), then surely I would make that a priority and would find a way to work it in. Like when I read the last Harry Potter book in 3 or 4 days time. So why can't I be more passionate about following my other interests and make certain I get time every day to devote to them? To a certain extent I am just living my passion in the way that I am living and growing. But I'd like to do ..just more of the things that interest me.
Perhaps it's because my little frustrations are rubbing off on the kids and they have been annoying each other and that's been adding to my frustration.
I am trying to turn this all around. Get back into the moment. Focus on what's good now. I often see the faces of the families as they are packing up, preparing to leave. No one looks happy. The parents are probably thinking about the drive ahead of them, what needs to be done when they get home and back to work and into the routine of their lives. The kids are probably wishing they could stay and play all the time. They're probably all sad that their vacation - and their relaxed, fun time there - has almost ended. I remind myself that this is a choice we've made. We could choose another way if we wanted. Do I want anything else? ..No.
I'm learning about myself and these frustrations are all lessons. (I feel I've blogged about this before, but it's coming around again so I want to express it here, and tell it like it is as we adjust to living on the road full-time.)
I love living simply. I love the freedom we have when we're ready to move on. I love living outdoors. I love my kids. I so want to be a really great mother but right now I don't feel like I am as I've been focused on keeping things organised, and concerning myself with the daily tasks. The kids have been getting little bits of me in between all of the other things we've been doing. Even when I have had time with the kids, I've often been thinking about the other things that still need doing that day (gotta pick up more bananas, get the washing off the line, empty the toilet, charge the phone, make sure the internet bill is right etc.) That is so back-to-front! I'm going to switch that so that I focus on my kids and the daily tasks are things that get done in between all of the things that we do together.
It will all be easier when Cary gets back and he can help with some of those daily things as well as make sure I get time for me which I think is what I'm really needing. I used to think that a "good" mother could totally focus on her children, and time for herself was a selfish luxury. Now I know that, for me, it is essential for my sanity and serenity. But for now, I'll take my selfish moments whenever I can whether it's for one minute or 20 (if Nuke takes a nap and the other two are playing with friends), and remember to recharge myself. I still do yoga most mornings, sometimes if I wake up really early, I light some candles and do yoga by candlelight just before the sun comes up. It's very special. I'm eating well - simple fresh foods - and my energy is increasing. I think I'm moving into a new phase of me and these frustrations are old conditionings being noticed and released.
I am here now. This moment is perfect.
Perhaps it's that it's been over 5 weeks since Cary left and I've had very little time to myself. And I miss him.
Perhaps it's that, if I don't keep on top of the cleaning and the clutter, it really starts to bother me. But it only takes 10 minutes to get it all back to tidy again.
Perhaps it's because the 3 kids recently had worms. Worms! They've never had them before. Is that from living like this? No, research shows they are very common. But still, it had me wondering. And doing a LOT more washing than usual.
Perhaps it's because the "honeymoon" period of this new lifestyle is wearing off. The initial "oh we're living like we're on vacation all the time" is over and we're moving into a new acceptance of actually living like this. It's still good, but I have found myself focusing on little annoyances like having to wait for a washing machine (it is school holidays so there are more people in the park at the moment) or try and fit all of our clothes onto a small space of communal clothes line and last night I had to wait for the oven in the camp kitchen because I got there too late and I haven't figured out how to use the oven in our camper, and the tray I had the home-made pizza on for the kids was probably too big for it anyway.
The practical side of living in a small space was bothering me. Some little things I wanted were stored under the seating area which also gets made into the boys bed. I used to undo the bed every day but that was getting too much so now I only undo it every few days. Yesterday I wanted something that was just really hard to get to. I ended up showing my kids how to have a good hissy fit! I need to shuffle things around a bit to make it easier to get to the things I need sometimes and move the things I rarely need to the parts that are harder to get to. Then comes the thought "do I really need some of the things I've brought with me?" I have hardly looked at any of the books I've brought for myself. But it is just nice to know that they are there in case I want to (or get the time to).
Ooh - here's another thought - if I really wanted to look at those books (or do any of the crafts, play the games, etc), then surely I would make that a priority and would find a way to work it in. Like when I read the last Harry Potter book in 3 or 4 days time. So why can't I be more passionate about following my other interests and make certain I get time every day to devote to them? To a certain extent I am just living my passion in the way that I am living and growing. But I'd like to do ..just more of the things that interest me.
Perhaps it's because my little frustrations are rubbing off on the kids and they have been annoying each other and that's been adding to my frustration.
I am trying to turn this all around. Get back into the moment. Focus on what's good now. I often see the faces of the families as they are packing up, preparing to leave. No one looks happy. The parents are probably thinking about the drive ahead of them, what needs to be done when they get home and back to work and into the routine of their lives. The kids are probably wishing they could stay and play all the time. They're probably all sad that their vacation - and their relaxed, fun time there - has almost ended. I remind myself that this is a choice we've made. We could choose another way if we wanted. Do I want anything else? ..No.
I'm learning about myself and these frustrations are all lessons. (I feel I've blogged about this before, but it's coming around again so I want to express it here, and tell it like it is as we adjust to living on the road full-time.)
I love living simply. I love the freedom we have when we're ready to move on. I love living outdoors. I love my kids. I so want to be a really great mother but right now I don't feel like I am as I've been focused on keeping things organised, and concerning myself with the daily tasks. The kids have been getting little bits of me in between all of the other things we've been doing. Even when I have had time with the kids, I've often been thinking about the other things that still need doing that day (gotta pick up more bananas, get the washing off the line, empty the toilet, charge the phone, make sure the internet bill is right etc.) That is so back-to-front! I'm going to switch that so that I focus on my kids and the daily tasks are things that get done in between all of the things that we do together.
It will all be easier when Cary gets back and he can help with some of those daily things as well as make sure I get time for me which I think is what I'm really needing. I used to think that a "good" mother could totally focus on her children, and time for herself was a selfish luxury. Now I know that, for me, it is essential for my sanity and serenity. But for now, I'll take my selfish moments whenever I can whether it's for one minute or 20 (if Nuke takes a nap and the other two are playing with friends), and remember to recharge myself. I still do yoga most mornings, sometimes if I wake up really early, I light some candles and do yoga by candlelight just before the sun comes up. It's very special. I'm eating well - simple fresh foods - and my energy is increasing. I think I'm moving into a new phase of me and these frustrations are old conditionings being noticed and released.
I am here now. This moment is perfect.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
kids fun
We have the "International Buskers Festival" in the area at the moment. There are street performers from the US, UK, Europe as well as a lot of local talent. While we were at the harbourside markets last Sunday, we saw an Elvis impersonator (Tommy Memphis from Las Vegas - of all places!). The first half of his show was a typical Elvis show but the second half was very much for the kids as he invited all the kids up to his stage area and they all danced and sang and then he started asking them some questions, like "what should we call our band?" and "what's your favourite number?" (I can't remember what relevance that had to anything, but some of the answers were funny.) AJ's answer to that question was...
"googolplex"! Which AJ had recently learned is the highest named number. Tommy Memphis had no idea what that was but called for a round of applause from the audience as it just sounded impressive.
Yesterday the kids club at the RV park started due to the local school holidays. In the morning they were offering crafts and free face painting.
Here's how Princess Sami looked afterwards..
And Spiderman AJ with a wrap-around snake up one arm and a spider with web on his other hand.
Nicholas did not want anything on him. He was a little busy anyway - he's such a friendly little fellow and says hello to most people he sees. Some of the boys that were here recently, all around 10 years old, were very taken with him and his friendly manner. He would try to keep up with them when they went out on their scooters. They were very nice about waiting for him and even showed him some basic tricks that he could do on his scooter. I can see an extreme sports star in the making! Yesterday some of the boys came to door asking "where's Nicholas?". They were going to play soccer and wanted to know if he wanted to join them. So funny that my 2 year old has the big kids looking for him.
We went out yesterday to see some of the buskers. We were not impressed with some but loved "the amazing drumming monkeys" and the little bit of another performer we saw who did his juggling show to the music of Queen. We plan on going out today to see some more buskers. If I can get Nicholas away from his fan club that is.
"googolplex"! Which AJ had recently learned is the highest named number. Tommy Memphis had no idea what that was but called for a round of applause from the audience as it just sounded impressive.
Yesterday the kids club at the RV park started due to the local school holidays. In the morning they were offering crafts and free face painting.
Here's how Princess Sami looked afterwards..
And Spiderman AJ with a wrap-around snake up one arm and a spider with web on his other hand.
Nicholas did not want anything on him. He was a little busy anyway - he's such a friendly little fellow and says hello to most people he sees. Some of the boys that were here recently, all around 10 years old, were very taken with him and his friendly manner. He would try to keep up with them when they went out on their scooters. They were very nice about waiting for him and even showed him some basic tricks that he could do on his scooter. I can see an extreme sports star in the making! Yesterday some of the boys came to door asking "where's Nicholas?". They were going to play soccer and wanted to know if he wanted to join them. So funny that my 2 year old has the big kids looking for him.
We went out yesterday to see some of the buskers. We were not impressed with some but loved "the amazing drumming monkeys" and the little bit of another performer we saw who did his juggling show to the music of Queen. We plan on going out today to see some more buskers. If I can get Nicholas away from his fan club that is.
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