Beautiful and fun days

The chilly weather I wrote about recently didn't last long at all. We got back into the upper 20'sC / low -mid 80'sF which has been lovely. We've had some beautiful soaking rain too - sometimes all night long which is great to lull us to sleep and to have those negative ions coming through the open windows.

It is getting lighter later so the kids are sleeping in a bit more which is good for them. I keep waking really early though.

We had a state election here yesterday. Voting is compulsory in Australia for all aged 18 and over. I went to vote at the local public school. As usual, there were lots of people standing out the front handing out pamphlets showing you how to vote for their candidate. We walked up to the big shed where the cardboard booths were set up. As we approached, I asked the greeter if the children could come in with me. He was very friendly and enthusiastic and said "Certainly - show them how the electoral process works!". Wow, I hadn't been able to bring the kids in with me in other places I've voted. They saw the big roll for our area that has everyones name on it and helped the lady find my name and make sure it was checked off so that I did not get a fine for not voting. They came with me to the booth and I told them why I was voting the way I was. And then the workers there were fine with the fact that Nicholas helped me "cast my vote" by popping it in the box. The kids did feel more involved with the process and now have a little more understanding of how that works.

We love living in this state - "the sunshine state". It's currently celebrating its 150th birthday. One really great thing about that is that 3 of the big theme parks near us are doing a special deal - for the price of entry into one of them for a day, we can get a special pass that will allow us unlimited entry into all 3 of them anytime until the end of June. Too good to pass on that! Last week we went to WB Movie World and Wet'n'Wild Water World. Oh we had so much fun - and one of the best things was that we didn't feel rushed to get around and try and see everything in one day. At Movie World, we mainly hung out in the area where the kids rides are though we did see some shows. The car stunt show was very good. Nicholas didn't like the Batman street show, thought the Scooby street show was ok (the ghost guy running around was a bit scary) and after being a bit nervous at first in the 4D theater, he quite liked the Shrek show. I went on a roller coaster by myself. Not the super fast one that goes up really high and then very steeply down at about 60mph. no no no no! Not yet anyway. Compared to that one, I went on the tame one. It was still a blast!

Another day we met some homeschoolers at an ambulance station for a tour and then on to a playground. Seeing as we were only 10 minutes away from Wet n wild, we decided to go there afterwards. We hung out at the wave pool for about an hour, floated along the lazy river for another hour then played at the big kids playground with climbing and squirting things and slides and big fun. Until Summer was told she was too old to go down the slides there, it was meant to be for the little kids. She was really sad. Growing up and not ready. So we looked at some of the big long water slides for the "big kids" (yeah that's me too) and she picked out some she wants to try 'next time', that don't look too fast or scary.

This week....Sea World. I have a feeling we'll be riding the monorail for at least a few laps of the place. Maybe Wet n Wild again too while the weather is still so good for it.

To Cary

Mister Man,

I want the world to know how much I adore you.

I thank you for your strength - your physical strength that makes me feel so secure when you hold me; your emotional strength that is always there, so calm and sure; and your spiritual strength that inspires me.

I thank you for your sense of adventure, for your willingness to leave relative certainty behind in order to move across the world, to travel, to try new places and people and all the time see the excitement of doing so.

I thank you for your sense of fun and cheekiness.

I thank you for being a free thinker, for not always following the mainstream, for seeing how things could be, for knowing how things can be if we have the courage to be different.

I thank you for your encouragement. Though it hasn't always been what I wanted, it was always what I needed in order to get unstuck or stretch myself or grow. You know me better than I know myself. You see me as so much more than I see myself.

Thank you for you.

It just doesn't matter

It doesn't matter if other cars speed past me on the highway.

It doesn't matter if I put the sheets on the bed upside down.

It doesn't matter if I buy the wrong butter one week.

The necessary paperwork in life is not important. It is needed in order to function in this life and get things done, but there is no need to stress over it. You either want the thing at the other end of the paperwork (a loan, a passport, a business deal, taxes accounted for, etc), or you don't. Just figure out if not having those things would ultimately create more discomfort down the track.

It doesn't matter if other people have more money / power/ eloquence / style / etc than me. There will always be people with more and less of everything compared to me. It does not matter. If I compare myself with others, I will create unnecessary discomfort within myself which will hold me back from Being the very best that I can.

The very Best I can Be.

Being in touch with my essence, following my dreams and my instincts of what is right for me. Living and enjoying each moment like it is the most precious thing there is. Appreciating this breath that makes it all possible. Expanding my heart and love for this life. Living with detachment from the material possessions and problems. Such lightness comes and joy explodes from my core to the stars. Such a beautiful day, such a beautiful moment, such a beautiful breath.

round and round..

A week ago there was a funeral for a 9 month old baby girl. A little girl that I had held and played with.

A few days ago we received news that Cary's brother has died, two months before his 60th birthday.

Cary and his brother spoke at least once a week on the phone. They enjoyed sharing opinions on the state of the world, finances and unique humour. So sad, and unexpected.

Cary will still leave here on Tuesday, but will fly to Indiana instead of Nevada. I wish we were all going so that I could be with him at this time. Thankfully though, he will meet his sister and stepdad there so he won't be alone.

When I heard about the baby, I felt incredibly sad. I wondered about the fairness in life. Cary's brother had at least had some time to live life though it still seemed too soon for him to go.

But then I was reminded of the incredible joy too. How looking at one extreme can give a much greater appreciation for the other side of the coin.

It is in touching the depths and feeling the darkness in life that we can really know and really live the highs and feel the lightness of Being that comes when we choose not to stay in those depths.

I am not saying to ignore the depths. I've been there and I can say that with every breakdown, there came a breakthrough. There is a purpose for everything, though at times, it is very hard to understand that. Gratitude for the things we do have helps to lift me up. I have found Trusting God to be a huge lesson too.

Although death, or any deep loss, can be painful, and a period of grief is necessary, it can also inspire us to live - really live each moment. To live our own lives fully and deeply. To love freely - ourselves and others. To speak our own truths with confidence. To not put things off. To live in joy.

photo help please

Can anyone help me figure out how to change the size of the photo in my header here? Previously I had just loaded the photo and it automatically went all the way across the screen. With the new photo above, it chopped it short on the sides. I'd also like to make it shorter in height. Thanks in advance.

I want...

It's chilly here now, according to my cold blood. I soooo want to go to Vegas with Cary next week. I want to see my best friend who has had TWO babies since I've been gone. I want to hang out with the lifelearners again...it's challenging not having unschoolers close here. I want to shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joes. The kids want to do all of that too as well as go to the Children's museum and some of the playgrounds and when it gets warmer there, to the water parks. We miss all of those things from Vegas.

It's just weird when he goes back because I feel like a part of me is there too and I feel torn. I love it here - the natural beauty really fills my soul. But it doesn't pay the rent. And is it worth it to stay here when he needs to go back there several times a year? To separate the family like that?

Lots to think about...

Can you live for a week without creating any rubbish?

check out this article, it got me thinking about what else we could do to reduce rubbish...



http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/womenshealth/3114/waste-watch/

the seasons roll on..

Autumn starts here on 1 march. The first week of the month was still like summer but now we are getting some cooler wind and rain. Some are the effects of the cyclone further north, but very much fall weather. I always get a little sad at the end of summer. Even though I know it's going to come to an end, I don't like it. Perhaps that's why I enjoy it so intensely. If it was spring and summer all the time, would I take it for granted and not live it so joyfully?

This time in one week, Cary will have left the house on his way back to Las Vegas for two months or so. Even though I knew this was coming, I am sad. But perhaps that's why we have enjoyed the past few months so intensely. If he was here all the time, would I take him for granted and not live so joyfully with him?

Isn't that true about life? We all know it's going to end one day. Summer has a t-shirt which has on it "don't take life so seriously...it isn't permanent". When I do remember that, life seems much lighter and more joyful.

home...?

Home is ..where? Sure I love it here. I love being by the ocean and in this beautiful area with lots of green bushland around.

As I was driving home from the tie-dying event the other day, as I drove through lots of farmland, I got to wondering....."Can I honestly live happily on a farm?"

There are so many wonderful things about the whole farm concept. I can totally appreciate the beauty of the farm areas.

But the place where I feel truly full - filled...is by the ocean. Sitting on the beach, or being in the water, I experience timelessness. I feel oneness. I feel...home.

In my vision for the retreat / farm, I had always imagined that it would be on a little hill with the ocean (not a river or a pond) directly below it.

I can have both. Now that I realise that, I will no longer look inland for a good place for a farm, but will focus my search only on the coast.

making spaghetti 1

Take 2 cups of sifted, organic spelt flour, make a well in the middle and crack in 3 organic eggs, add 1 tsp olive oil, 1 tsp water and a big pinch of salt. Mix, knead for about 10-15 minutes then roll in the pasta machine, newly aquired from a garage sale (brand new, still in the box for 1/4 of what it costs at the store!):

making spaghetti 2

get the whole family involved! After rolling, put through the cutter roll to make spaghetti...



Roll and cut some more:



See how long you can make the spaghetti!



It helps if everyone wears their newly tie-dyed shirts while doing this process too! (I should have done some shirts for Cary...will have to get some more paint!)

After making the spaghetti, we let it dry by hanging it over the clothes drying rack. It was dry in about an hour. Boiled a large pot of water, added a little salt and oil and cooked the spaghetti for about 3 minutes. Served it up with a little organic pasta sauce and a huge salad. Soooo Good! So easy! What we made fed us all with enough leftover for another meal.

tie dying!

Wednesday we drove to the Northern Rivers Homeschoolers group who were having a tie-dying day at the hall where they usually meet.

I love these flags that my friend Anna had dyed:

Summer hand painting a canvas bag, AJ had just finished tie dying a t-shirt.

Nicholas loves the rope swing!

Here's the hall...the local community built it.

Inside the hall the kids were playing tennis cricket (or something that looked like that).

This group meets in a beautiful area, surrounded by farms...so green and lovely!

Summer painted the shirt on the left, Nicholas did the apron on the right.

Nicholas with some of the finished products. Beautiful! So inspiring to be surrounded by creative, lovely people.

creek day with unschoolers, tomatoes, pigeons

Tuesday was a glorious day and we were thrilled that the Brisbane unschoolers group was coming to OUR creek for the day! For the first time ever, we were able to ride our bikes to a gathering. Summer and AJ played in the water all day and would have stayed until dark but Nicholas was having a bit of a struggle. He was maxed out and ready to go by about 4pm. It was probably a year since we had seen most of that group and Nicholas had forgotten them so he wasn't as comfortable with me chatting to people he couldn't remember. So I didn't get to chat as much as I would have liked, but we still had a lovely time.

Nicholas swimming - he taught himself to swim freestyle (crawl).

AJ & Nicholas


Summer on a surfboard

Looking out to the mouth of the creek where it meets the ocean. AJ in the middle, Summer to the right of him.

********

We moved our tomato plants to try and encourage more growth. As we did, we noticed the roots coming through the bottom of the boxes. Definitely not deep enough. Could be why they stopped growing. After moving them a little more into the sun and rain, we did seem to get a few more tiny tomatoes, though the leaves died off. Just as I was about to go out and check the toms, Cary noticed a magpie sitting on the stake, eating all the tomatoes! We had already gotten about a dozen, but were looking forward to more. Oh well.

When we moved into this house, we noticed a couple of pigeons hanging out near the front door as though they were used to being fed by the previous occupant. So we started feeding them. Now one of them will actually come right up to the front door and peck on the door. If we don't take any food out right away, it will walk it's way up the fly screen and perch on the door handle. So funny!

mish-mash

The touch of coolness in the morning air recently vanished and was replaced with very warm, humid weather. We got to a point where we put our air conditioner on in the house (we don't have it in the car) for just the second time this summer. That would bring our a/c total running time to under an hour. When we have put it on, it's just to cool the place down and take the edge off. We have had the ceiling fans on low or medium quite often, just to keep air moving when there is no breeze. But I think our next electricity bill will be fairly reasonable.

We have had fires to the south of us, with around 200 people dead and 7000 homeless. Friends of ours in those areas were all lucky to escape. So sad. I can't imagine. Floods to the north of us causing an increase in the cost of bananas (a main staple in my diet). Many large and small businesses and community groups around us are having fundraisers to help these people. It always warms the heart to see community pull together, it's a shame it takes a tragedy to make it so.

Today the humidity has broken and it's been raining steadily all day. I'm in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt which is nice for a change. The kitchen is calling me to bake cookies! It's been too warm to heat up the house any more by baking but today is a good day to stock up on some home baked treats.

A while back I was doing a lot of reading, trying to figure out what the natural diet of we humans should be. For 30 years I've been playing around with different diets, experimenting on myself. In that time, I have never found more passion in a group as what I have amongst those following a raw-food diet. So many people find such energy and enthusiasm for life and that style of eating that they want to tell everyone. Fantastic! It often comes with much inspiration and encouragement as well. However, amongst the groups of raw fooders there seems to be a lot of disagreement on the 'right' way to do raw. High fat vs low fat, high fruit vs low fruit, superfoods vs natural foods etc. It's exhausting! After trying to get back into all raw foods here, and getting side-tracked by all of the conflicting advice, I went back out on my own to figure things out.

Yes, the human ancestors started out as raw vegans, but in order to evolve and thrive and move to different areas, changes needed to be made which included eating animals and using fire to cook. (I wonder if this is when more aggressive behaviour began.)

There can be points made to justify any point of view as to why a person chooses a certain way of eating. So I had to reach a place where I was totally comfortable with how my family and I eat. Certainly lots of fruit and veges of the highest quality possible. We shop at local farmers markets from local growers who are organic or on their way there. Grains - I buy good quality flour and use different grains for variety. I make most of our own cookies, cakes, waffles and pies which we don't do a lot of when it's warmer outside. Except the waffles which are a standard Sunday morning thing. I'm going to start making our own pasta again soon. If I buy any packaged pasta or bread, it's from a quality wholegrain source. Fats - unsalted butter, olive oil, canola oil or coconut oil, the best quality I can. Milk - usually rice or soy though Cary likes full cream dairy. Protein - organic dry beans, homecooked, organic tofu and tempeh. And I made peace with the fact that Cary and the kids enjoy meat. So if they want it, they buy hormone free and organic if possible. Same with their eggs. For me, a low-fat, vegan diet with grains only several times a week seems to work the best. I love a hearty vege soup when it's cool out and I also enjoy lots of fresh foods. I'm more in touch with my body and it's needs and eat more instinctively rather than what I think I should eat due to the time of day or combination of food.

I'm working towards making most of our own basic foods like hummus, tomato sauce and nut butter etc and getting away from most processed foods.

Basically, my research led me to a greater understanding of why eating a diet of more whole-foods is important. And why I no longer get sucked in when shopping with the kids and they ask for a packet of cookies or something of minimal nutritional value. And I no longer feel any judgement towards anyone choosing to eat a particular way. Because that might work for them, and why did I feel that my way was the 'right' way anyway? That kind of attitude doesn't create harmony in my life or the world.

Speaking of harmony, some times it's hard to stay rooted in that. Subtle things take me away from that but I am getting much better at sourcing the cause of it. The biggest breakthrough though has been in realising that often it's my own connection to myself that is disrupted. For some reason, in that moment I am not living my Truth and once I get back on track with that, harmony is restored.

Zoooomm...

Summer (the season) is just racing by...schools are back in, the tourists have gone home, the beaches are quiet, the frangipani trees have less flowers on them and there is a hint of coolness in the air. I just adore this season and wish it would last much longer. I love the long lazy days of wearing few clothes and biking and swimming. I love strolling to the beach after dinner to play some more or climb on the rocks or kick a ball on the sand. I love the feeling of the sun on my bare skin, the waves crashing over me and the vibrant feeling that summer gives me.

The recent hot days though have been hard on the plants in our container gardens. The tomatoes are not doing well. One plant has produced edible fruit though it is very small. Perhaps the containers are not big enough, the soil not rich enough, the seeds not strong enough, or we just started too late. I've used a little organic seaweed concentrate to enrich the soil, but maybe I started that too late or it wasn't the right thing. Our first batch of lettuce seemed to grow without us doing much at all, and it was delish! We have two other containers with lettuce that seemed to have just stopped growing. I must do some more research.

This morning the children and I went for a long walk along the deserted beach. We collected shells and rocks and sticks. We'd stop to admire each item before adding it to our collection. Most of the shells the children chose were broken but they saw the beauty in them in their colour or shape or texture. A little reminder to me that all of us do not need to be perfect in order to be precious.

Acceptance pt 2

So here I am, no make up. My eyebrows actually look like they have a tad of colour. Maybe that's a little pencil residue or maybe they have actually darkened over the years without me even noticing.

We were going to go out last night and I was feeling strange about going out without make up. So I put some on and it didn't feel right...I took it straight off. I think I'm over it. Cary kissed my naked face and told me that I'm beautiful.

There are so many much more important things to be concerned about. It's kind of silly that I had a 'thing' about wearing a little make-up. But it was my attachment to that which no longer felt natural and, as it's a real part of me and my ramblings, the clearing of this attachment is relevant to this blog.

Fact is, I am not getting younger. Having young children helps me feel young. I don't plan on using the term to describe my future as 'growing older'. I'd rather focus on the traits I'd rather see in me such as 'growing in grace and wisdom'. In doing so I will live with more gratitude, more love and connection in my relationships with others and myself, more following of my own goals and continued attention to health in the form of a low fat vegan diet and daily exercise. Maybe all that could be called 'growing up'.


And speaking of growing up, here is the cutest little 3.5 year old, looking very smart in the new shirt he chose from the thrift store:

Acceptance

It seems that when I get really comfortable with something, along comes a new challenge to test that.

So I am here, feeling deeply grateful and joyful of this stage in my life.

Humidity increases, my hair goes frizzy...ok. I look in the mirror and see a face I hardly recognise. My facial hair is very blond so ever since I was a teenager, I have worn a little eyebrow pencil and mascara every single day so that my face looked more ...what? interesting? colourful? normal??

As I get further along the natural path, I just don't want to do that anymore. Even though I used 'natural' make up, it just no longer feels natural to use it at all. Even though it was "only" those two small areas, I feel it is time to stop covering them and take a deeper step to acceptance. One of my eyes has been getting red at times, usually when I'm really tired and have spent too long in front of the computer screen. But I'm sure that 30 years of wearing mascara can't be good.

So I look in the mirror, I see the frizzy hair, the plain face, the extra wrinkles .... who IS this person?

This body is a shell, the house for my spirit. Taking care of this body is something I now aim to do with more gentleness and respect, like taking care of a temple. But the real me, my spirit - that's where the real work is. It's on the inner places, cleaning out the cobwebs in the corners, opening the blinds that prevented the light from streaming in. Getting over so many little conditioning's like what I had attached to a little pencil line on my face. Realising that those kind of things are not what's really important.

Sure, taking care of the outward appearance of my body is good and can reflect my inner state. But not when I get attached to the process, when I don't want to leave the house without making myself up.

I'm not going to make myself up anymore...I no longer want to. It's still a little uncomfortable when I look in the mirror, but I'll get over it pretty quickly. I'll continue to dress in natural, comfortable clothes according to my mood. Many months ago I lost my attachment to wearing jewelry. I never wore a lot, but had several favourite pieces that I wore continually. Piece by piece over a month or so, I took them all off. Earrings, necklace, bangles, rings...all except for a wedding ring. After a period of not wearing any jewelry, I now might wear a little something if I'm in the mood. But I am no longer attached to those things in the way that I was. Not that it's bad at all to do so, I just choose not to. So maybe it will work the same with wearing make-up. Maybe I'll reach a point where I totally accept the appearance of this face and can fully release the conditioned attachment to wearing make-up. When I have let go of that attachment, I may still wear a little if I feel like it.

My goal now is to continue working on those inner cobwebs, the old conditioning's and opening the blinds, so I can see my own truth more deeply and clearly, so that the natural beauty of my spirit is what shines through the outward appearance of my body out into the world.

Do you know the Buddhist / Hindu Deities?

In addition to the sarongs we aquired recently, we also got some huge wall hangings of some different Buddhist Bodhissattvas and Hindu Deities. I've put a couple on ebay over here, but I am not totally sure of who they all are. If you have any ideas, or are interestd in buying one, please leave a comment or email me at rawmum@yahoo.com

The lady we got these from told me that this first one is Kwan Lin / Quan Lin / Guanyin - goddess of mercy, compassion and kindness.


This next one is the Hindu Goddess Saraswati, the divine consort of Lord Brahma, the Creator of the universe. She is the Goddess of knowledge, learning and wisdom. Some also say that she is also the Goddess of music and all creative arts.

? This is quite possibly Avalokitesvara / Chenrezig. A bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all Buddhas. He is the patron bodhisattva of Tibet. If anyone thinks he may be someone else, please let me know.

I am stumped with this one and cannot figure it out at all. Any suggestions? If you click on the photo it should supersize for a closer look.

These are all at least 115 x 168cm / 45 x 66", most are 115 x 175cm / 45 x 69".

If you are interested in buying one, we do take paypal.

Thanks!

Celebrating life

I am really loving this stage of my life...



...the ages of my children, the close bond we have, being able to talk about a wider range of subjects and do different things;



...the loving bond I have with my man, my best friend, my lover - having the same goal and sharing a similar mindset and loving raising our children in this place at this time;



...no longer having most of the self-conscious, insecure thoughts about my self and my role in life;



...no longer wondering if I'm doing 'enough';



...realising that who I am, the love I radiate is so much more important than the things I do;



...knowing when to step back, when to step up, when to shut up, when to speak up, when to rest and when to move, when to let go...these things I no longer agonise over but rather they flow more naturally as the seasons do.




About 18 years ago I cut out a little quote and stuck it inside my wallet where I would see it often. It said: 'Be bold and courageous - when you look back on your life you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did.' Many of my decisions over the years were made bearing this quote in mind. Even so, I didn't always feel bold and I wasted a lot of time wishing I could do more with my time and energy and talents and I wasted time feeling that I wasn't enough. But now, my definitions have changed and I am bold because I march to my own drum and I live my own truth and I don't have to explain myself to anyone. I have no regrets, every step along my path has been a lesson for me. The joy I feel in living every moment is so fulfilling, I feel so free!

AJ's lookout

AJ has been a little monkey lately climbing up and down the clothesline. He loves just standing on top of it looking out across the garden.

The children and I were walking yesterday morning and we stopped to chat to an older gentleman who was outside doing some yard work. He asked the children how they were enjoying the school holidays and AJ said "we don't go to school - we homeschool". The man was surprised and said "I was too!". He lived on a cattle property about 150 miles from the nearest town and so he did correspondence school up until 4th grade. He stopped school in 1945 when he was 12 to work on the property which he then did for another 8 years before his father, at age 86, decided to retire and sell the property and share some of the money from that to help his children. The man we spoke to bought a big truck which he then drove for 43 years, before he retired. A very interesting character and my children and I were fascinated by his stories.

This morning we all went for a bike ride around the creek and out to the beach again. When we did that several days ago, the tide was up all the way to the top of the beach - the biggest king tides in a decade apparently. This morning we timed our ride when the tide was lower. On the way back, we stopped near the edge of the creek to have a drink break and AJ decided to check the temperature of the water. Within a minute, all the kids were swimming in the water and I was half way wet. Our sub-tropical waters are looking so beautiful and inviting lately, I couldn't stay out. It's our little piece of paradise.

After coming home for breakfast, the kids and I went to the library, got a few groceries and then went home for lunch. Summer spent the afternoon at her friends place playing games while Nicholas napped. I gave AJ a haircut and tended to the garden a bit.

Summer and AJ are interested in starting their own blogs and doing more online so, as we only have internet on one computer, I'm going to cut myself back a bit on the time I spend here. Maybe 5 hours a week maximum. I tend to spend too much time on here reading about all the things I want to do that then I don't end up actually doing many of them. Well, it's time to actually build the solar oven, and do more basic stuff in the kitchen and sort through some of the piles around here (mainly paperwork and articles I've collected or printed off the net and haven't gotten around to reading yet) and work on the specifics that we want on the farm - like the type of buildings. Summer has been building her 'dream home' in the sand when we go to the beach. It looks like a cob house with enormous vege gardens radiating out from it, a waterfall and a two section pond with a dam in the middle. After she'd done this several times, I told her I'd been thinking for a while that when we get our land, she and the boys can each design their own pod and oversee the building of it. We got a pile of books from the library today on different earth-friendly building techniques so we all can start looking into that again.

I'm not going to think about trying to build a web site at the moment, I need to focus on other areas. I just want to spend less time in front of a screen, and more time just living life. So I'll still post on here, check my friends blogs, email, put a few things on ebay, do a little research from time to time and then I'm out. Like right now, time to read another Magic Tree House book with the boys. Ciao!