photo catch up - Natural History Museum

We decided to check out the Las Vegas Natural History Museum one day last week. It had always been a fun place to go when we went with a group, but this time we went just with us and still had a good time. We probably took longer to look at the exhibits this time.

The boys made a new friend:

Nicholas loved playing in the sand and using the paintbrushes to 'discover' hidden bones etc.

And he liked dressing up and the magnifying glass:


And they all enjoyed pretending to be a fish:

And then hanging out inside the yellow submarine:

photo catch up - recent fun

I just love this photo of Nicholas..

We've been having lots of family fun at the hotel pools:

Summer jumping in!


Mission Hills water park with the Lifelearner group:

Nicholas loves the Spongebob swimmers he got for his birthday:

AJ rockclimbing during a homeschoolers session. It was his first time and he did really well - he was a little nervous at first, but once he knew he wasn't going to fall, he bravely went all the way up!

photo catch up - 4th July

Our 4th July started by getting starred and stripe'd and heading to Boulder City for their annual parade. It's not a fancy parade, but it sure is fun.

Love those glasses!

The first part of the parade starts with the politicians, veterans, Miss Boulder City, cheerleaders and other fun entries like this guy on his bike:

And Uncle Sam:


And horses:

And funky shoe cars?:

And then the real big fun starts...

the entries that want to participate in water play come along - they shoot water pistols or throw water balloons at the spectators, who do exactly the same thing back! Sometimes the floats even come really prepared with a huge container of water and a hose:

This little tank says on it "Peace - the old fashioned way" Hmm.

In the end, the locals come out on top with some of the residents along the parade route getting their garden hoses out and even filling up garbage bins for everyone to refill their water pistols from. It is so much fun and totally worth sitting in the hot sun for an hour or so first.

Totally drenched and happy! We had brought our water pistols along and the kids thought that was the best part of the parade.

In the evening we went to a party at Tara's place - thanks Tara, Justin & Zeb, we had a great time! Nicholas sure loved the sparklers too.

half way already!

We are already past the halfway mark in our trip here. I've surprised myself with how easy it was to drive here again. I thought that after 2.5 years away, I'd be wanting to drive on the left hand side of the road like we do in Australia. The first time I got behind a wheel here, I admit going a little slow and sticking to the right hand lane. After a few blocks, I breathed out and something clicked in and it all came back to me - even shortcuts and how to get to old favourite places.

Other things that we've gotten used to here again are light switches that go the other way; electrical power points that have no on/off switch; automatic flushing toilets and soap dispensers; the toilets themselves that are larger and lower here; the huge oven at the motel suite (but the oven is a standard size for here); and huge video billboards.

Are we moving back here? I just don't know.

Direction?

I was lying in the bath today after working out (I've been having a lot of long baths lately - I think I need that water immersion therapy, especially in this dry climate), and I had the thought "what if I'm not meant to have a little farm?" - What if my life just goes on and on changing from place to place? What if my life is more about adapting and letting go and then re-adapting and letting go again....?

When I was in my 20's, I had the idea of owning and running a spa with massage therapists etc. In my 30's that idea transformed into a retreat center on our own farm. Now I'm questioning that, as I question everything else. I'm thinking that 5 acres would be the biggest I would want and possibly, even smaller - just a basic house and a big vege garden and a few fruit trees might be all I want as I think about getting older and the realistic side of what I would want to take care of (besides the family and a few animals). Maybe if the place is right, I could have a little space to offer some classes in yoga and things like that, even if I rent it out for those purposes. Just rambling here. Looking for some kind of realistic vision after feeling like I've just let go of a whole lot.

Maybe I should start with the things that I know for sure...my priorities:
1. Being a mama and keeping the family together.
2. Living simply and fully while saving to buy a place in Australia.
3. When there, living near the beach.
4. Continue to pursue my interests in natural living along the journey.

I feel like I'm wide open at the moment, a little lost and swirling around in a void. I feel like I need to throw out an anchor in order to ground me and give me direction.

....thoughts a couple of hours after posting the above:
This current feeling is uncomfortable, so I looked into it for the deeper lesson. Sometimes you hear a cliche and it just doesn't mean anything, or you think 'yeah, that's real nice'.
Now I think I'm really understanding the saying that life is about 'the journey, not the destination'.
So, I can choose to feel swirling and lost, or I can be flying and free. Releasing any attachment to the specifics of my previous goals, and pulling back, seeing the larger picture, re-evaluating and seeing how things need to change.

releasing, again

I haven't been inspired to blog much lately, and that's ok.

Cary is really enjoying being back at work here. He says he is excited to go to work 6 days a week, and when he's at work, he's excited to come home and see us. It's great being together as a family, and it's important.

When Cary told me a week ago that he thinks we need to move back here for a couple of years, I totally freaked out. I have been so very very happy back in Australia, living simply, in an absolutely beautiful place that nourishes my soul, my mind, my heart.

But that doesn't pay the bills.

So I've needed some time out to lay low and process the options.
I cried.. I ran faster than ever on the treadmill with Amy Steinberg blaring on my headphones... I moped around... I took long hot baths... I stared aimlessly at the wall... I opened myself up to guidance and answers... I chatted with God and then...

A whole lot of things happened to shift my attitude:-

* I realised that there are worse places to be than Las Vegas;

* I saw Cary's excitement when he was talking about some recent deals and I knew that this is really important to him;

* I realised that I am familiar with this place - we already have friends and I know where to shop for the best deals;

* I felt deep, deep gratitude for the time we've had in Australia and in me I can feel what it is like to be at my favourite place (the beach). Each visit we've had there, I've stored inside and I can recall exactly how I felt, what I saw, the smells, the sounds, the feel of the sand and the water.

* Our time in Australia has changed Cary and forced him to slow down and enjoy life more, to focus on more than just work. Maybe that was one of the most important reasons we needed to go there.

* I felt a determination to appreciate life even more and make the most of opportunities.

* I realised that Cary really does want to move back to Australia, but he wants us to be in a better financial position so that we can buy a little farm. He does love Australia, but he wants more than sucking our savings dry.

* I remembered being a little girl and wanting, more than anything, to be a mother. I am doing that. Parenting this way is the most important thing to me. More important than living in the most beautiful place in the world. I am grateful that Cary agrees with this style of parenting and fully supports us in that.

* I felt a deep gratitude for everything in my life thus far - the people, the places, the lessons, the things. I've learned from everything and will continue to do so.

So I realised that even though it might require a bunch of paperwork and upheaval to organise a "temporary" move back here, I'm ok with it if it means we can be in a better position when we do go back to Oz. Perhaps something bigger and better will come from this.

Maybe our time in Australia has served its purpose for all of us. If an opportunity arises that allows us to stay there, then I will be making sure I live it deeply. If I need to release my attachment to living there, then I will do that too, for now. Maybe I need to learn that I can carry the sweet feelings of aliveness I have when I'm in Oz, anywhere. (It's definitely much easier in a beautiful area though.)

Maybe releasing my attachment to the way things are in Oz at the moment, will allow a new opportunity to come in, here or there, that will brighter than I could have imagined. We'll have to wait and see about that. In the meantime, I'll continue to make the most of each day, to live fully, love deeply and laugh often.

Need vs Want pt 2

As a PS to my previous post, ... at first it was interesting to look around the shops here, to see old familiar products and foods that we used to get, to see what was new. But I also found it overwhelming as there are just so many more shops and people and choices here. I did start going to old favourite discount stores but then I couldn't wait to get out. The thrift stores here used to be a good place to get a bargain and I can't believe how much their prices have gone up. When I'm in Australia, I tend to shop more consciously. I was definitely more of a random consumer when I lived here before. I think I justified that with things like "it was such a bargain" or thinking that "I might use it someday" and of course when the kids came along, yard sales were heaven for bringing out my own inner child and buying toys and things that 'I' wanted to play with. I'm grateful for that experience, and I'm grateful for realising that living a life with less material stuff actually makes my life feel fuller and richer.

Moving on...

A couple of weeks ago I had a moment when it hit me that I'm getting older. Cary held me and gently said "we are getting older...let's do it gracefully". His words reminded me to accept this stage, this time, this moment. In acceptance of this fact, I can be more gentle with myself, more content with myself and perhaps from that will flow grace towards all areas of my life. It does not mean I'm going to sit back in the rocker and watch the parade of life, but I will continue to seek adventures and find joy with a deeper appreciation for those things.

My current goal is improving my health and fitness which have declined a bit since we moved back into a house and got less active. Most days I've been using the fitness room here, and doing some yoga and swimming. I've also been drinking green smoothies again thanks to Cary for buying me a new Vita-Mix 5200!

I bought a used Vita-Mix years ago which has had a ton of use. It is my favourite kitchen 'thing'. Cooking doesn't thrill me (gee, if it did, I probably would have bought a bunch of those knives at that yard sale I wrote about in the previous post, and I would have known that they were good quality). I like simple food with not a whole lot of variety. My favourite type of food has always been fruit and I love the way the vita-mix makes smooth smoothies out of whole fruit in just a few seconds. I also use it to make batters for waffles, salad dressings, fresh pasta sauce and soups. I have the extra container on my old machine, which will also work on the new one, that is for 'dry' needs such as grinding flour. It's pretty much the only gadget I need in the kitchen. (Except for maybe one plain old sharp knife.)

So was the V-M purchase satisfying a need or a want? Maybe both. I want to spend less time in the kitchen. I want to find ways for the whole family to enjoy eating more whole foods. I need help in that department! I need to improve my own health and I want to enjoy the process. I know I mentioned the green smoothies which are such an easy way to pack in natural vitamins and minerals. My current favourite recipe is: 2 cups water, large handful of organic baby spinach, 3 bananas and 1/2 cup each of frozen pineapple and mango. After working up a sweat on the treadmill, this drink has me feeling revived and ready for the rest of the day.

So maybe the 'need vs want' justification can be transcended when a purchase is primarily an investment, especially in our own health - in this case mental and physical.

Need vs Want

Happy solstice!

Right on cue, Vegas has turned on the summer heat. I really don't feel like doing much at all. When we lived here before, if I wanted to get out of the house during the summer, we either went to the water park, the pool, visiting friends, or shopping. (Shopping was probably a year-round thing actually.) The shops are always air-conditioned and the toy section provided some different things for the kids to play with. Now though, I find myself not liking shopping. "Mum, come here, let me show you this..." x 3, plus "oh, this is cool, can I have this..?" x 3, leaves me feeling drained and the kids a bit resentful at the stream of "no"'s. The stuff they are asking for is stuff that I honestly think they would not use for long. But a surprise trip to the game store to buy a couple of new (used) games for their DS's is money well spent as they love those things! It's nice to say "yes" too.

We've been going to yard sales on Saturday mornings. The first week that we went we had fun. But the past two weeks, with the extra heat, I just haven't been into it. I don't feel like driving for miles chasing signs, hunting through someone else's "stuff" for a potential bargain. For what? Is there anything I really NEED?
When we got here, we did need some extra summer clothes, shoes and some basic things for the kitchen. But now, we have most of that, and anything else is just creating extra 'stuff' in our lives.

The past two weeks when we've gone out yard saleing, we've been seeking to attract Lego, luggage and clothes (AJ and Summer could still use an extra couple of pairs of shorts each). We haven't had much luck with the clothes or the lego but I did find a nice carry-on bag - they asked $8, I offered them $5 which they took. When I got home, I found $2.20 in coin in the pockets so it only cost me $2.80. That was a good deal! I'm still looking for a large piece of luggage so I can distribute the weight a bit more with the other two bags we have when we go back.

Here's the thing that's been niggling at me....I know I've only been looking for a few things, but I've been finding other things that were not on my list. Like some kitchen knives. One sale I was at had a big box of knives. A couple of them looked like the type of knife I used to use in the kitchen when we lived here before - long and deep. In Australia, I have a couple of knives that are long but narrow. They do the job and then slip away into their container that sharpens them each time. Quite adequate, but I did like the other kind of knife. Here now, I have one sharp knife that is also adequate, but it's not the same as the other kind. So I stood looking at the box of knives, trying to figure out if I really needed another knife, or just wanted one. I had no idea if it was a good knife or not. I thought if I spent $2 on something like that, then it becomes easier to spend another $2 on something else I really don't need, and another and another and before long, I've blown $20 on extra 'stuff'.
So...I used my old rule "when in doubt - don't". So I didn't buy any knives. But I couldn't let go of it so I looked up online about them and it turns out that the knife I was looking at was worth about $40-50. So I guess it was a pretty good one.

So the part of me that loves a bargain is kicking myself for not getting the deal. But the part of me that likes to Simplify is saying "yay - less stuff to deal with". And I know now that it is that side of me that has grown the most in recent years. And that's probably why I no longer enjoy shopping. Coming here and facing those old conditioning's has been a good test.

I know it's normal for the kids to want a whole bunch of different things as they try things out to help them explore different sides of themselves, at different ages and stages. In some ways, I'd like to give them everything, but that's not practical. The two best things I can give them are my time and my attention. They are things that they need and want. And maybe with time, as they grow older, they'll understand the difference between needing and wanting when it comes to buying things and hopefully they'll become conscious consumers. Maybe it won't take them 40 something years to learn that.

Happy 4th Birthday!

FLASHBACK ONE YEAR AGO...

FLASHBACK 2 YEARS......

AND NOW.....


Our little man turned 4 last week. He had been excited about this birthday for about 6 months. It's the first birthday when he's really aware of the excitement of the celebration. His 3rd birthday was nice, but he didn't make a big deal about it like he did with this one. This time he counted down the months, then the weeks, then the days...telling everyone he met how many days were left. The day before his birthday we had spent with the Las Vegas Life Learners group at a park and had a lovely time. Nicholas's actual birthday was a fairly quiet family celebration of Nicholas. He loves Spongebob Squarepants and so we had several gifts for him with the yellow guy on them. A little bat, a big ball, pj's, colouring book, swim shorts and a few other little bits and pieces. He was thrilled! AJ and Summer had hidden his presents around our suite and Nicholas enjoyed the treasure hunt. He was a little upset that I had forgotten to pack the "birthday hat" that's in the photo above from his 2nd birthday. It's a family tradition to wear that hat on your b/day.

On the phone to Aunty Ros & family in Australia just before checking out the local farmers market. Nicholas loved the market because he got a free snow cone after telling the vendors there (and everywhere else) that is was his birthday!

Out to dinner at Claim Jumpers Restaurant. Birthday boy got a free chocolate muffin after telling them it was his birthday. He was so excited!

Nicholas thought his birthday kept going for days and didn't miss a beat when he found out that it was actually just the one day, but it comes around every year. So now his telling people "do you know I'm going to have another birthday soon and I'll be (holds up 5 fingers)!"

The countdown is on!

Las Vegas Life Learning

We are in Las Vegas!

Five days before we left Australia, we drove through some heavy rain to my Mum's place, needing to take a couple of detours off the highway along the way due to flooding. Finally got there, celebrated Mum's 70th birthday and tried to get home the next day. The rain had not let up though and the highway was cut in at least 5 places. Even the nearest highway across the mountains was cut. So we drove south to Maitland, and turned inland and headed north up the New England Hwy. Nicholas had a fever and wanted me so my brother-in-law drove for me for a while. We were all headed towards Tamworth and my sister's place anyway. The big detour meant that I could stop in and see my Dad and StepMum for a little visit which was wonderful. Caught up on some hugs. The next day we drove up to Tenterfield and across the Bruxner Hwy to Bangalow (so pretty) and rejoined the Pacific Hwy. When driving up the inland road it was dry and a little brown. Such a contrast to the flooded coast.

We had one day to do all of our final prep for the big trip which included a house inspection and a 2 hour trip to the dentist for Summer and AJ. Everything got done, but I didn't get much sleep before leaving home at 6:30am to get the maxi taxi to the train, the train to the airport, the big plane to LA. As we were descending into LA, we went through the white puffy clouds which slowly turned to grey as we moved into the smog that just didn't lift. The only one that had slept was Nicholas as he still wasn't feeling so great. Everything had gone smoothly and we cleared immigration and customs easily. Walking out of the terminal, we found that LA was noisy, dirty and very smelly. So many security checkpoints along the way. I tried to get some change so I could call Cary and the shopkeeper I went to was very rude. Welcome to America! We didn't have to wait too long for our flight to Vegas but arrived there totally wrecked. Wonderful to see Cary but we went straight to our room and fell straight into bed for 3 hours. Went our for some groceries and dinner and then slept for 10 hours. It took several days to catch up but we're all good now.

We've been here two weeks already. I've been overwhelmed by the noise and crowds and shops and smells. I resisted the whole experience here for a while, but being with Cary and catching up with friends has made it really good. Really good. The kids fitted right back in at our old homeschooling group and I've had an absolutely lovely time hanging out with my friends and making new friends.
I realised that I was being very judgemental and decided to let go of that and just enjoy this for what it is, while it lasts.

The thing I've learned from this whole thing is that I have limits and I think I've gotten a whole lot better about recognising when I'm approaching those. I thought I was doing well, but the trip to Mum's on top of the trip here on top of very little sleep was all too much. So when the noise and the smells and the crowds get too much for me or my kids, I'm not going to try and push them or me. It's ok to say no or "we've got to go". It's ok to take time out and not "do" anything in particular. Maintaining my balance is my priority. With that, everything else flows.

counting down...10...9...

Nine days until we leave for Vegas. Our internet will be cut off tomorrow so I'll post sometime after we get there.

Breathing deeply....

Q: How do bees travel?

I write my best blog posts while I'm still in bed with my eyes closed. When I try to remember them when I actually get up, it's like they get shaken off with the last bits of sleep.

Often I sit down to write but then I get interrupted a whole bunch of times and what comes out in the end is something different to what I had thought would come out. So often I feel as though my posts lack something because I haven't been able to maintain my thought track while writing. But then I wondered - why am I blogging? ? ... I blog because it's easier than writing 20+ emails at a time to tell family and friends what we've been up to. I blog because I've kept a diary since I was about age 10 and I've always enjoyed the release of writing. I blog because maybe someone else out there might be feeling the same way and it's always comforting to know you're not alone. And maybe, some of the things we do might even inspire someone else to follow their dreams.

My realisation from yesterday has had me wondering....How can I maintain my balance and the wonderful state I feel when living a simple life? How can I keep that mindset when life gets more complicated? What is it that causes me to lose balance and slip into old patterns?

I know some of the physical reasons that I get off balance - insufficient sleep, not eating enough or eating the wrong kinds of things, not enough water, not enough exercise and lots of things that have to be done. BUT, it is ultimately my thought processes behind all of those things that lead me to have a magical day or a miserable day. So, how do I maintain that peaceful, connected, joyful mindset I have when I am truly living a simple life? And, is it possible to maintain that when my life is not-so-simple?

I think it comes down to awareness. Remembering to balance too much doing with time out to BE and touch base with how I am. Even just to take a moment to go within and see how I feel. I think I should have done that more in the past few of weeks. To make sure I didn't slip into old patterns. To remind myself it's ok to take a break. To remind myself of the kind of example I want to be for my kids. Do I want them to associate stress with being cranky or with being calm? I know all this stuff. I just forget sometimes. But, my forgetting times are getting further and further apart and for that, I know that I am better than I used to be and I will not beat myself up.

I am back to feeling so alive! So excited! The material stuff around me does not matter. The things to do will get done. Or not. Either way, it's ok. It really is all good!

And now, a word from AJ who has been next to me reading animal jokes:

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment

And the answer to the title of this blog: They take the buzz!

Experiencing Being

Cary should be pulling in to Vegas about now, after driving almost 2000 miles. Driving 15+ hours a day. I'm excited to see him again! And our friends and family there too!

There have been times in the past few weeks when I've felt rather stressed with organising this trip and other busy-ness going on. As it's started to come together, I've relaxed a bit, but still didn't quite feel as relaxed as I did several months ago.

This afternoon, the kids and I took a walk through the great caravan park where we used to live not far from here. As we walked along the creek, I started shifting gears. As we walked into the caravan park, my mindset changed. I chatted to everyone I met along the way and I got back in touch with how I felt when we lived 'on the road'. How I did not feel attached to material things. How simple and easy life was. How much lighter and richer my days were. How grateful I felt and how full. How I took time to notice nature every day - the bugs, the birds, the water, the mountains, the sky, the colours, the sounds - and how connected I felt to all of that.

Living in the house, I realised today that I've lost touch with a lot of that. Sure, there are some things that are nice about the house - more personal space when it's cold or rainy or dark out, and ... um.. I guess more space to store food and craft supplies. We probably still have more than we need in the way of toys and general stuff.

Now I can read about living simply and it sounds great. But actually experiencing it - knowing it from the point of living it and reconnecting with that place in my heart brings me great joy. It is harder to maintain that when I let my life get too complicated with stress and things that have to be done and before long, I've slipped and become attached to those situations and material things in my life.

This reminds me of unschooling too. I can read all about unschooling, but then I start to feel I'm not doing enough, or my kids are so different to the model ones I read about, and doubts start to creep in. Then I get stressed and slip and become attached to how things "should" be.
But then I get to actually experience unschooling - to get a glimpse of it working in our life, to see my kids make amazing connections, to figure out how to read a new word, to work out some math in their heads because they can see how it applies to a real life situation. To hang out with other unschoolers and realise that our kids are all so wonderfully free and perfect in their own way. And in actually experiencing it, I know it from the point of living it and I reconnect with that place in my heart that "gets" this, and I feel great joy and know that all is well.

So it's when I try to do too much and think I'm not doing enough that I feel stress and doubt. When my balance leans too much towards doing, and not enough towards Being.

So then I remember that I don't need to read or do or have something, I just have to BE the best me I can, in this moment. Being a part of communities of like-minded folk also helps my mind to remember what my heart never forgets. Real people, real lives, real good!

Sea World today...

As we only have 13 days before we leave, we've been milking our passes to the theme parks that will expire while we're away. Twice this week we were at homeschool events that were held kind of close to Movie World so we went there afterwards. Monday, Summer had her hs drama class, then Wednesday we went to a hs social gathering where one of the Mums had arranged an elaborate 'world explorer' treasure hunt kind of thing complete with little challenges at each station with a theme from a different country. The kids got stamps in their little passports she'd printed up for the day and really enjoyed the activity. I'd told the kids in the morning that, seeing as how we'd only be one exit off the motorway from movie world, we'd go there afterwards. AJ was still keen after several hours of playing but Summer said "do we have to go to Movie World?" Nicholas wasn't very keen, but once we got there, we all had a good time. Summer has been enjoying some of the bigger rides and has been a regular on the batwing which involves her and 15 other strangers sitting, facing out, four a side around a 60 meter pole. They are lifted up the pole at 4.5G's. Then dropped and lifted up again and dropped, gradually getting less high each time. I tried it once. And that was enough for me.

So as Summer and AJ go on some of these kind of rides, Nicholas and I just hang out. Sometimes we go on the carousel, or one of the other little kids rides, but mostly he'd prefer climbing on the fake rock decorations they have, or just watching his brother and sister.

So as time is running out, we decided to make one last trip to my favourite park - Sea World. For a long time I had a 'thing' against sea world and the whole 'animals in captivity and being used for human amusement' argument. But, I've relaxed on that. Sea World does do a lot to help rescue animals and to educate the public to be more aware of the effect of our choices on the environment. As well as more awareness about the animals and marine life. I've spoken with some of the staff that are directly involved with the animals and marine life there and their dedication and affection towards even the oddest looking fish is heart warming.

So today we went to Sea World with beautiful weather. First up, a trip on the skyway:

Gosh they can be so cute!

Nicholas climbing on some of the fake rock things.

Summer, Nicholas and I on the flume ride, that my kids call the 'Viking ride' because of the shape of the canoes. Nicholas surprised me by wanting to go on this - 3 times!

I was bummed that the Corkscrew roller coaster was not working today as they were repainting it, but we were offered free entry into the water park to make up for it. The water park has a large pool, a fun play pool for little kids, and several big water slides. There were not many people there, probably because we're half a month away from winter and the water was pretty chilly. But hey, once you got numb, you didn't really feel it! No, it wasn't that cold, and we did get used to it. Summer and I didn't have a change of clothes with us, but were just wearing 3/4 pants and a t-shirt anyway. I just splashed around with Nicholas while the other two went on the big water slides. Then we all lounged around and got dry before heading back into the Sea World park and going on some more rides.

Had to include a photo of a dophin because they are so beautiful!

And then this is what happens to tired little boys who play hard all day:

Dear Little Monkey - couldn't even make it until dinner time.

Lucky girl...

I love my home. I love our life here. Knowing that I'll be leaving it for 12 weeks has me appreciating it even more.

When I was in my teens and twenties, I thrived on adventure and drama and created a lot of both in my life. When I first left Australia to go to the USA, I was excited and care-free and thirsty for even more adventure. Even though I enjoyed it greatly, there was a little something missing and every trip back to Oz from the US had me excited because deep down, I knew I was going "home". I am deeply grateful for the 12.5 years I had in the USA, for our life as it was there, for our friends, and for the many, many lessons I learned.

In several weeks, I'll be leaving Oz to go and visit the people and places I'd been saying I missed. It will be really really good to see those people again. And I can tell, it will be really really good to come back home after that.

I feel so comfortable here, so content. I think I have finally "settled down". One more move to a little farm and some road trips within Australia will fill my life to overflow. I am so very lucky, so very blessed.

Our week..

Busy week last week -
Monday, Summer started back at drama class and then, as we were pretty close to Movie World from there, that's where we spent the rest of the day. AJ finally decided to go on the roller coaster and loved it! He went on the fairly mild one, not the super fast one, but still, this one is fast enough when you haven't ever been on one before. Then he and Summer went on it over and over and over. AJ would put his hands up as it went, something that Summer isn't ready to do yet. We also went on the big bumper cars...about 20 times. Nicholas loved driving them and I would sit next to him with my foot across on the pedal.

Tuesday we caught up on some things around here. I think that was the day I booked our flight to the USA after a huge amount of frustration that I will not bother you with.

Wednesday we had an excellent time with the Northern Rivers homeschoolers. We had a 'mathematican' come along for a presentation on 'the magic square of 3'. I loved it and when Summer realised that she was learning how to draw mandalas, she was excited. AJ has continued to draw the pattern we learned there since he's come home and I know we'll be doing more with this. After the presentation, the kids ran and played while the mums chatted for hours.

Thursday was the library and grocery shopping and playing with the neighbours.

Friday was Sea World all day. We got there just after it opened and were pleased to see that it was much less crowded than the last time we went there. We went on the skyway first and enjoyed the aerial view of the park and looking over the dolphin pools. Then to some rides. I was feeling very brave and decided that this was the day to conquer my fear of the "corkscrew" roller coaster. The one that goes up really high, around a fast bend, then way down and around in a loop and then around a bend and through the sideways corkscrew part before another bend and back in. I went straight up to the ride, no line to wait, got in, sat down and strapped in before I could even think about it. As it started to go I thought "uh oh...what have I done?!" I closed my eyes for a moment to center myself as we were climbing up the big steep hill and I heard someone say "oh..it's sooo beautiful!". I looked around and to my right I saw the ocean and to my left I saw the mountains. It really was beautiful. I felt fantastic and thrilled and, instead of screaming as we went down and around, I was laughing with absolute delight. My comment when we pulled in - "that was just too short - I'm going to do it again!". And I did. Three more times. Couldn't talk the kids into going on it with me, but they're thinking about it for next time. Nicholas did go on the flume ride where you sit in a canoe kind of boat on a water track, go around and up and around and then down a steep drop and get sprayed with water. He loved it and went on that three times. Surprised me. And of course we spent time in the underwater viewing area, just admiring all of the fish. The day flew by it was such fun.

Saturday we got up early and went to some garage sales, got two ladies bikes for $10 (total). They just need a couple of minor adjustments but can be ridden as they are. We have bikes, but Summer needs a bigger one and it will be good to have a spare in case of visitors. We also found a few other treasures. Then we went to the farmers market and Amy, my niece who moved to Brisbane to go to Uni this year, came down for lunch and to play for the afternoon.

So now it's Sunday. I woke up entirely too early (again). I think french toast for the kids for breakfast and a bike ride to the creek will fill up this morning. Then a trip into the mall for AJ to spend some birthday money. We'll probably end up at the game store I think. AJ likes to think everything through very well before making a purchase so we could be there for a while.

It's another beautiful day. The mornings are getting a little cool, but the days have been just lovely. (big sigh of contentment)

Culture clash?

Cary sent me this photo that he took recently near his brothers place in Indiana. The Amish horse and buggy hitched to a post outside the walmart. Hmm.

more recent pics

An afternoon stroll a few days ago..

Sand, surf, sun, sticks & sweet Summer!

sliding down little sand hills...

and sinking into the sand!

A Stroll along a beachside path earlier today...

We love the fitness track at Burleigh Heads that runs alongside the beach.

Here's Nicholas & AJ doing dips and playing on some push-up bars. You can see the ocean behind them.


Summer on the pec-deck. If you notice behind her and to the left, you can see the top of some steps..

this is the view down those steps.

I just love this - the sun sparkling on the ocean. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE it here? How much I feel fulfilled? How content I feel here? Oh yeah. Happy, happy, happy!

AJ on a balancing beam. There are 5 stations close together here with a kids playground on the other side of the walking / biking track. Probably so parents can workout with more variety while their kids play. Most of the stations have a larger space in between them.

Nicholas on the balancing beam. There's that beautiful ocean again through the photo. What a way to work out! It also sounds sooo good and smells great and looks fantastic.

recent photos

What's eating the fish? We've been finding fish like this on "our" beach recently. Sometimes just one, sometimes several, sometimes none. Once we even saw one still in the water, barely alive, still trying to breathe, but not able to swim. I'll have to ask the Surf Lifesavers when I see them again.

This was at a homeschool gathering that had a science theme for the day. One of the Dad's is a Scientist and was happy to share some basic science knowledge and experiments. This photo shows what was supposed to be an experiment measuring the time it took to run 10 meters with different loads on the tarps. As most of the kids are unschooled, it took on a whole new twist and became a sledding game! I'm not sure how happy the scientist was after that!

AJ & friends

Annette & Summer - we're sitting in the car of the roller coaster right before Summer's first ride on it.

Easter Bunnies!

Dewy spider's web hanging from our clothesline.

Nicholas holding a little house he made (with some help from Mum) at a homeschool woodworking day recently. The bit of bark on the side has a window in it. The long piece on the top is a "diving board for the fairies". Love it!!

Can you believe he's 8?!!!

Happy Birthday AJ!

We spent the day at Sea World where AJ was in heaven patting and feeding sting rays, watching the dolphins play, the fairy penguins, sea lions, a polar bear, sharks, and a huge assortment of marine life. AJ & Summer went on only a couple of rides as the lines were too long due to it being a glorious warm sunny day and school holidays. So it was rather crowded, but we knew it would be so we only planned on wandering around enjoying the day. We had so much fun!

AJ had 'birthday power' all day so he had chosen the food for the day and where we went. He chose a healthy form of cocoa pops for breakfast, cheese balls, caramel popcorn, pbj's and goodie bags with favourite candy for the day, party pies and sausage rolls for dinner and marble cake with chocolate chip ice cream for dessert. Just about the perfect day for this 8 year old I'd say! We just wished that Cary could have been here.

An evening with The Doctor

Funny weather lately. Rain on and off..warm, cool...never quite sure how to dress. It was sunny when we woke up yesterday so after breakfast we got ready to ride our bikes to the creek so the kids could play with their new butterfly / fish nets. As we got on our bikes it started to rain gently. Oh well...should I drive? Maybe...nah, let's just ride. So we did. By the time we got to the creek, it had stopped and it stayed fine. The kids had great fun trying to catch little fish and just splashing around while I hung out on the shore chatting to my man in the USA on my little pink mobile phone.

The afternoon saw us at the playground. Nicholas spent the whole time being AJ's shadow. Doing everything AJ did. Nicholas thought some other kids were picking on him and started telling them off. He is not afraid of speaking up when he perceives a wrong, but sometimes he speaks too soon. Nicholas told me with great passion everything that had happened. I went with him and spoke with everyone and they were able to figure things out and went off all together playing happily. No grudges, just "lets move on and have fun". - The things we can learn from children!

After dinner, we all sat down to watch "The Biggest Loser". Just the title of that show was enough to put me off it for a couple of years, but when we were in the caravan, with very limited tv options, we did start watching it. Through that, the kids have learned more about the importance of taking care of their bodies, and how much the state of our body can influence the state of our minds. The majority of the contestants start out with very low self-esteem, but as they improve their health, their esteem rises also. I don't happen to agree with a lot of the methods they use, and I think a lot of it is probably acting anyway so I don't take it too seriously. In the past week, it was towards the end of this series when the contestants "face their fears" in an extreme way - jumping off the ski of a helicopter into a lake, white-water kayaking, sky-diving, etc. This obviously had an impact on Summer as she talked about this before going on the roller coaster with me at Movie World this week. Twice!

Nicholas fell asleep after "BL" but it was too early for the rest of us. We have been getting 'Doctor Who' DVD's from the library that are filling in the gaps from episodes we haven't seen on tv. As well as enjoying again some of our favourite episodes. Not the older hokey episodes with the cheap sets and costumes, but the episodes from 2005. Oh they are sooo good! Our favourite show for sure. Last night we watched three episodes from the end of series two. I have been waiting for these and was not disappointed. As we got further into it, the kids got closer and closer to me on the couch until we were sitting there tightly squeezed like a sandwich. A squashed sandwich. On the edge of the seats. Laughing, in suspense, and then crying. I love the way these shows weave so many threads around each other and still leave possibilities open.

We recently bought a larger musical keyboard. The kids have been playing around with tunes and the different instrument sounds and effects to see how close they can come to replicating the "Doctor Who" theme. They also have been getting DW books from the library and enjoy telling each other different new facts about The Doctor and the show that they've found out. So the Doctor is weaving its way through many aspects of our lives and our learning with many possibilities still open...

playing is to fitness as living is to learning

For 12 years my body has been either pregnant &/or nursing. That phase is coming to an end with nursing only happening around bedtime these days. Therefore, my need for extra calories has decreased. My jeans are a bit tighter in my thighs and belly as my mind got a hold of that concept after my body did.

For months I have not been carrying Nicholas much as he has gotten much stronger and fitter. Therefore, I have not been getting the extra workout that lifting a child up and down all day gives. My arms are getting softer.

And hey, I am definitely in my 40's so there have been some hormones starting to do different things. Just subtle effects but letting me know that, as much as my mind thinks otherwise, I am just not going to be young forever.

So basically, my metabolism has slowed down. I accept this and choose to do something about it rather than get upset by the few extra pounds. The best way to rev it up is by exercise. Not just for the physical benefits, but the mental ones as well. For a former personal trainer, you'd think this would be a natural. But I find myself with the mindset of my former clients "ugh...will this take long?..". But then I think about it and remember the high that comes after a really good workout and the buzz that comes from having a fit and toned body. So that encourages me to get some kind of extra movement in every day.

I am lucky to have two young boys who NEED to run and play and muck about. If they don't have a daily outlet for this, they will go absolutely feral about 6:45pm, just as I'm sitting down to relax. Our girl also needs the exercise for her own health, but she has very little internal drive to get it. Well, unless it involves swimming or biking or swimming or an easy hike or swimming. So we aim to find a way we can all enjoy fun movement together. Even if we can't swim every day.

We've had a lot of rain lately so we've been a bit slack and stayed home. Yesterday we went for a drive through some of the countryside near us, fantasising about where we might want to live. Then we stopped at an overcrowded indoor play center and decided to pass on that. So we went to the undercover playground at the Hungry Jacks / Burger King with our pre-made sandwiches and bottles of water. The kids played for about an hour then I noticed the sky clearing. We went home, chatted with the neighbours for a while then walked to the beach.

It was magnificent! Lots of sea foam from the wild seas due to the recent storms. The beach was actually closed for swimming due to the conditions. I've rarely seen that happen. We ran, we played, we built sandcastles, we drew in the sand, we wore boots of foam and pretended we were walking on the clouds, we saw broken bits that had come from large shells, and pieces of soft coral and a dead puffer-fish (still puffed).

When we were in the caravan, we were out and about all the time. We lived a more active life. Being in the house, we are not as active. In the summer it was easy to be active and cycle and walk and swim. But in the rain, that's a bit harder. So maybe the solution is to just do more when we can. And the thing about going to the beach, and the playgrounds and the hikes is that they don't feel like "exercise". It feels like fun and play and with the added bonus that we all are getting fitter and stronger. So the process of play naturally gives us fitness.

Kind of like unschooling. The lessons of life just manage to work their ways into our days under the disguise of living! Every day we learn more, we grow more, we are more. Our children are free to explore their outer worlds and their inner worlds. It is so exciting to be a part of that, to watch, to listen to their insights, to see them interact with others, to see them at peace with themselves as they do their own thing, to help them when they ask. Sometimes it's a huge lesson in trust and patience for me too, but the joy of seeing them shape their minds and their lives is so worth it.

It's a beautiful day...(rain and all!)

Always growing

Thanks for the "happy birthdays"!

In the photo taken from the lookout on the hike, our house is in amongst those on the right. It takes us about 10 minutes to walk up to that lovely long beach.

In the '44' post, I wrote that I was both calm and excited. Later I thought that they may seem like opposites. But I feel them both. I feel an inner calm - a peace and Knowing that, whatever happens on the outside, I can handle it and deal with it coming from a place of that calm and holding my own Truth.

This state is becoming more and more my usual state. For so long, it would be something that I would only catch glimpses of every now and again. Now it is something that I experience daily. Sometimes I slip out of it for a while. But those slips are becoming less frequent. The most significant slip happened a few days ago. I had let things stack up - I was really tired, I had not been drinking enough water and therefore I had a headache, I had not been eating enough. And, my Mum was here. The last time I saw my Mum, we had a major disagreement. That was almost a year ago, and in the meantime, phone calls have been very good as we had worked through that. But actually seeing her, I became aware that I was holding some tension, just waiting for some kind of negativity to come from her. Well, ...the negativity came, but not from her. I attracted it, but it came from a stranger. It came when I had all the other things (tired, dehydrated, hungry) happening. What did I do? I just walked away. I chose not to get into an ego battle with that person, I chose to just do what was best for my spirit. As soon as it happened, I realised what had happened and why. It did not take me hours to figure it all out. I knew straight away the mental process behind it all, and the fact that my physical state had also contributed. Within seconds of walking away, I had realised this and felt good that I was walking away from the negativity. I said to myself "I'm better than I used to be". Instead of beating myself up for what I "should have" done to prevent that situation, I was proud of myself for choosing the way that gave me back my own strength and clarity and truth. I was not upset with the stranger, in my mind, I actually thanked them for giving me the chance to handle this in a new way.

So from that came a deeper commitment to take care of myself - to drink enough water, to keep my body nourished with enough food, to get more rest.
Even though we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we can't live too much in either dimension while we are here. We need to take care of this physical body and we need to take care of the spirit as well. Maybe it's that balance that I'm getting better at.

So I also feel excited that, through this Peace and awareness, I am always growing, I am feeling both deeper within and more expansive as that energy radiates out. I am excited that, with all of the travelling and moving around that I've done, this journey within still holds a beautiful feeling of adventure. I am excited as the more I go deeper, the more I love what I find and the way that helps me BE.

I am in love with this life.