Manifesting...

My entire life I've had the feeling that 'Everything I needed would be provided'.  Mostly as a kid I wanted freedom.  I valued time exploring and creating - building cubby houses and playing games in the bush near our house, feeling the freedom of playing in the water of the creek or lake or beach near us.  There were also some material things I wanted - candy / lollies which I always seemed to find a few coins for; a particular doll I wanted that I was given for Christmas; a pair of striped socks that I saw and loved and received soon after.  I can't think of any thing that I had wanted as a child, that I did not receive.  I think that is because my main focus was on feeling free and as long as I could fill myself up on that, which I did every day after school and most of the weekend, my life felt as though it was all it could be with the limitations I knew I had to live within at the time.

Looking back, I can see how my thoughts also attracted things I did not want.  At school when the head nun came into the room, I would slink down in my chair thinking "please don't pick on me today"..which of course she did because I was so focused on her picking on me, rather than my thoughts centered in being safe.

As I reached my teens, I had a new focus - boys.  When I set my sights on a guy, he would almost always become interested in me.  It was a very powerful feeling! 

Fast forward some years and I did start becoming much more aware of the connection between my thoughts and my reality.  From my late teens I started reading inspiring books that spoke about that, but it took some time to really 'get' it.  In recent years, the movie 'The Secret' has inspired a lot of people to learn about 'The Law of Attraction' (LOA).  Maybe I should say 'remember' about LOA because I feel that it is something we do already know, we just forgot, or it got covered over with mainstream conditionings.  You know...all of the rules and regulations that come with being a 'good' boy or girl. 

I've been able to manifest a lot of things and people and experiences that I have desired in my life...I had the desire, and then released my attachment to that desire and life has flowed to me.  Sometimes I've felt stuck and frustrated that something is not happening, or not happening quickly enough...then I've realised that I am too attached to that and maybe, there will be a more magnificent expression of that desire show up.  Like the time when we had packed up the house and were loading the truck to move to Sedona...yay, finally getting out of Las Vegas!...when suddenly the business deal we were moving there for, fell apart.  I felt sick and allowed myself to wallow in that for a couple of days before deciding that there must be a good reason.  Several months later we were packing to move to Australia!!

I want my children to remember how powerful they are...how they can manifest things and people and experiences by the way they use their thoughts.  So we played with making Vision Boards.  (When you get a piece of cardboard or paper or a corkboard or some kind of flat surface, and attach pictures of things you want to have, do or be.)  We went to the op shop and got a big pile of assorted magazines and started tearing or cutting out anything that just spoke to us, we didn't have to figure out why.  We also used some catalogues from various stores that we had collected.  Once we had a big pile of pictures and words, we sorted through those to find the ones that spoke to us the most.  I thought this would be a pretty easy exercise, mostly for the kids...but I really got into it!  I immersed myself in it and enjoyed making a picture of what is important in my life.

Summer has a few pictures of places she'd like to travel to, a phone she'd like, some fashion items, a picture of some money and the words Harmony, Healing, Happiness, Confidence, Power, Sunshine and 'The Power of Positive Thinking'.  AJ is still working on his big pile.  Nicholas pasted several pictures of young boys in stylish clothes, boys shoes, some lego and a couple of other toys, and three pictures of guys surfing.  He has been saying for months that he wants a surfboard and wants to learn how to surf.  ...It's big clean-up time around here at the moment and people have been putting all of their big rubbish next to the gutters for collection.  Walking home from the beach the other day, we found TWO surfboards in a throw-out pile!  Powerful stuff!

My own vision board:   

Most things I already have, a few I'd like to add into my life - more yoga and gardening, a newer car and some places I'd like to travel to and to 'feel amazing'.  Looking at this many times a day (I taped it to my kitchen window), I know that I am already working on attracting those things into my life. Seeing the words of the things I already have, like Family and Magical Kids, just reminds of of how much I appreciate those things.  Seeing some of the other pictures and words like Play and Flowing help me to remember to maintain and grow those aspects of myself. The picture in the bottom right hand side is of a lady who had lost a leg in a car accident and had survived breast cancer.  Peggy Leggit sent over the trike and camper from the UK and came over here to travel around Australia, towing the tiny camper behind her.  To me, she symbolised courage and freedom and determination and living a full life. And for me, that's what it's all about!

Random..

Obviously I haven't blogged for a while.  Cary was away for 45 days, which were days that were full of highs and a few lows and an unexpected growth in my confidence in handling conflict and difficult situations.  Seeing...Feeling...Knowing..that I am whole and safe..and that by staying centered in that awareness, then I can calmly stand my ground in an assertive and compassionate manner.  I Know ..deeply.. that All Is Well, I see myself as a part of Something Wonderful, that goes beyond this material moment.  Past breakdowns have led to breakthroughs and I am in a very contented place.

Our days have been full... being together as a family, going to the beach, finding treasures at the op shops, cool hats for the boys:

..hanging out with friends..

(yep, they are on top of the roof!)

...and all of the other things that make up our lives...including playing with Gypsy, who is now 7 months old and such a fun part of the family.  Life is full, and so good!

Insight..

I opened up an email with the subject line "Personal Development Insights #27"....and the content was blank.  I laughed and thought how appropriate it was!  I was expecting another long, wordy email sprinkled with cliches and anecdotes.  But, due to a little glitch in my server at the time, I got a blank email.  It reminded me that the only 'Personal Development Insight' will not be found in someone else's words, but in my own life.    Of course, I knew that...it's just so fun to be reminded of it with little gifts from the Universe, even over the internet.

The original email did eventually appear another time when I was scrolling through my inbox....but I didn't read it,  I just smiled and remembered how strong I am.

Post Conference Glow..

I am still in such a happy place after the conference!  I feel so full of gratitude and peace and love.  I just love hanging out with other families who value connection with each other and respect for all.  I love that they see as much value in a conversation with a 5 year old as with an adult.

I know I keep blogging about how much I love it here in this area...I feel like I can't say it enough....sometimes I feel like I'm bursting with joy!

I came across a few other recent photos I thought I'd share...

Summer walking a labyrinth we drew on the sand.  She has some trekking poles with her as we've been experimenting with pole / nordic walking.  The poles came in handy to draw the labyrinth and they actually do help give a better workout during a walk.  I guess it's a little like cross-country skiing without the snow.

The view from my hammock.

Nicholas and his girlfriend, hanging out enjoying a snack.  She is 2.5 years older than him and the reason he gave up nursing last year.  He declared that he was old enough for a girlfriend, therefore he was too old for "oobie".

Unschooling Conference...

Wow...what an amazing 5 days!

The first Australian Unschooling Conference was held 1/2 mile from our house at the Tourist park that we used to camp at.  Over 100 free spirited families gathered together to share ideas and build community.

The talks happened in a large marquee with other large tents for kids activities and one for teens.  Dayna Martin was a featured speaker..she is here with her family and it's nice having another family from the USA to hang out with for a while.  People who we get and who get us when they or we are talking about  life in the USA.  And they are just such a fun and loving family that it is an absolute joy to get to know them all better.  There were other speakers covering different angles of unschooling, non-violent communication, highly sensitive people, a kids panel, a grandmother, and a family in their second generation of Natural Learning, with 5 out of their 6 children living in their own homes on the family farm.

                                    "Free to Live, Free to Learn, Free to Be Me"

There was a ton of fun things for the kids to do including facepainting (Summer loved to help with that),  a treasure hunt (held in the evening when they hunted for glow-sticks), volleyball, swimming, a blacksmithing workshop, clay, dance, music, henna, games, beading, a family bush dance, and a talent show. 

AJ showed his confidence and comedy as he did a magic act for the group, with a little help from his new friend Tiffany.

This Dad and his son had one of the best seats in the house to view the talks!

Post conference ... kids hanging out on the edge of the creek. 
I'm glad that there are quite a few families hanging around for some extra time to chill and share and bask in the community that was built.  It helps to process some of the points raised during the conference and to keep the connection going for as long as possible.

I enjoyed the main talks, but I got as much or more out of the couple of micro sessions I attended with small groups.  Throughout it all, there was such a strong feeling of acceptance and joy and support and encouragement and love.

 I feel so blessed to have such strong, committed support groups around me, and to have made some beautiful new friends from other areas in Australia and New Zealand.  I live in this amazing area.  My family is happy and free.  My cup is full!

A few recent activities...

We seem to have been super busy lately, and I've been rather slack about posting photos.  Cary is back in the USA at the moment for a month or so.  I don't know if that will give me more or less time to catch up on this kind of thing.  Anyway...

Kids and Gypsy at the beach.  Gypsy loves the beach!  Especially chasing seagulls and digging, and meeting other doggies.

I love having this so close to us!

One of the local homeschool groups we are in holds a sports day once a year.  The kids were thrilled to participate and win some little medals:

That same group also has a monthly activity at the local PCYC when the kids can try a variety of sports.

Nicholas and his buddy had a great time with the boxing!

I do have to mention the outfit that Nicholas is wearing.  He wore that same outfit for two months straight.  He did sometimes agree to wear pj's to bed so that I could wash his clothes and have them ready for him the next day.  When we went to the beach he would sometimes put some shorts on so that he didn't get sandy pockets in his favourite jeans.  There was another shirt he wore for the first month (a hooded sweatshirt usually worn with the hood up, as in the pic at the top right hand side of this blog)  before switching to the bony one.  When he started out, the jeans were like new.  Slowly the holes appeared in the knees but it didn't phase him one bit.  It was only when the bum started wearing out that he decided to retire them. There was no way he was showing his butt to the world!

Our local group held a felting day and we all made wet felted water bottle holders.  I will aim to remember to get some photos of the finished products.  It was so neat to hang out and do craft with a big bunch of friends.  We held the activity at one of the local parks so we had the use of the picnic shelter and running water and the kids that didn't want to participate, or that wanted a break in between all of the rubbing and rolling, could go off and play. 

What the heck is it all about? (& a turnaround)

Really....why are we all here?  If we were all created by some higher intelligence / force / spirit...what on earth did they have in mind as the purpose of all of this?   Why is there war and greed and everything negative?  I do believe in a Greater Power, I just am at a total loss to understand..well,...life.

There is a lot of talk of how we are heading for a Golden Age, where more people will be enlightened and the world will be more harmonious.  Well...why wasn't the world created like that to start with?! 

All of the suffering, and challenges...are they all here to offer us contrast?  To make us appreciate the goodness in our lives?  Is that really necessary?  If 'God' is so compassionate, WHY does s/he let so many bad things happen?

Where is the justice and the logic in loving caring people who cannot have a baby and the drug-addict mother who can't stop having babies?

I've heard all of the cases...We don't need to understand, we just have to accept and have faith and believe that there is a greater purpose to all of this...that Suffering is a normal part of the human experience.  I don't want to listen to another 'spiritual author' just trying to sell their own books and products which are usually just a rehash of other peoples insights anyway.  How many of them actually want to help others and how many just want to cash in on the questioning and suffering?

(several days later...)
.... I don't know the answers.  Maybe that's ok.  If I keep dwelling on that, I create a downward, dark spiral within myself.  That is not my true nature.  I feel the most in alignment when I am seeing the light, the positive in life.  I don't need a lot of contrast in my life...I've had enough to know that the dark side is not where I want to be.  Focusing on the big 'why' of life had me somewhat paralysed ... I felt that I could not move forward, and at the time, I did not want to.

I spent some time surrounded by nature.  Not expecting anything, just open to letting these recent thoughts mull around within me...I was a little surprised when I started to feel lighter...when a Knowing came to me that no matter what happens, I will still Be.  The judgement of 'good' or 'bad' was up to me.  I could focus on all of the chaos that seems to be swirling lately, gathering momentum in the lives of so many people that I know.  Or, I could focus on the place within where I feel like I'm working with the Universe - where I feel Joy just by being my true self.  Nothing grandiose, just simply and quietly stating my truth, seeing the absolute best in people, aiming to not judge but to live showing kindness and love and compassion to others and myself.

My focus is to inspire myself to live this lightness more fully.  To not be so concerned with the things I cannot change, and to not contribute to the things I do not like in the world.  Even in little ways like statements of judgement of people or situations.  That doesn't serve anyone.  Perhaps my ego gets a little comfort stroke from that, but it does not bring me alignment with my truth.  Along the way, if I inspire anyone else, well that is just a bonus.

With great joy and gratitude for all that is...

Simple Living challenge...

Have you seen this website: http://sixitemsorless.com/ ?  Here is their experiment, their challenge if you will:

 What do our clothes say about us? Why do spend so much time on what we wear? What happens when we don’t?


Starting Monday, June 21st 2010, a group of people from California to Dubai are going to take part in a little experiment: each participant gets to choose six (and only six) items of clothing and pledge to wear only these six items of clothing for a month. They’ll share their experiences here at sixitemsorless.com


There are exceptions that don’t count towards the six: undergarments, swim wear, work-out clothes, work uniforms, outer jackets (rain slicker, outdoor jacket), shoes and accessories. You can get multiples of the same item for laundry purposes, but different colors count as separate items. Or you can tell us to stuff it and make your own rules.


People have asked what the philosophy is behind the experiment and most assume it’s a statement about consumerism. In reality, we haven’t dictated a driving thought. Rather it’s about putting a challenge out there and seeing what people bring to it, do with it and talk about.

This challenge totally appeals to my love of simple living!  There is a new round starting soon online, but you obviously can do your own thing anytime.  I thought of the clothes in my closet, all keen to get in and choose 6 things....then I realised that I already do close to that.  I have two favourite pairs of jeans, and pair of black yoga pants, and three favourite long sleeved tshirts that I have been spending most days in for the past few months. 

So why do I have extra clothes?  I think it's the 'maybe' factor.  You know...maybe one day I'll want to wear that...maybe one day it will fit me again....maybe one day I'll want to try a new combination.  But I don't.  I do like the idea of consciously choosing to give away the clothes that don't fit and that I really don't totally love and just leaving 6 basic items.  I can see doing this times 3 - having a winter set, a spring / fall set, and a summer set.  ...I know what I'll be doing within the next few days.

I heard of another challenge where a couple decided to live with 100 items each...including the house, car, dishes, books etc. Hmm....

I think we do live fairly simply, but we definitely have acquired a bunch of stuff since getting off the road and back into a house...I think 2 years ago now.  I can't believe how time is flying by.

Feeling grateful...

There's nothing like passing an overturned car surrounded by emergency equipment on the motorway to give a renewed appreciation for my life.

I've been in a low place lately, and just as I started coming out of it, I passed the accident which was like the final shake I needed to get over myself.

So I thought I'd take this opportunity to think about some of the things I'm most grateful for.

I'm grateful for...

- three healthy, strong, loud, vibrant, amazing, children that everyday teach me more about unconditional love and patience and joy.

- my relationship to Cary who has been able to show me the high road during some recent challenges; who moved half way around the world to start a new life in a land where the business rules are very different to what he knew, just to fulfill my dream of moving back here near the beach.

- my body which may not be exactly how I would like it right now, but it is not in pain, and it has done some truly amazing things, including giving birth naturally three times.

- my extended family who loves me even though they don't always understand or agree with my choices.

- my friends who are quick to give a hug or a shoulder and just some good companionship that comes with sharing similar lifestyle choices.

- the magnificent ocean and the joy and fulfillment that it gives me almost every day as I walk along the shore and play in its water.

- the local birds and their songs that bring me pure delight.

-  the bushland and it's mysteries and familiarity and noises.

-  the food we have to eat, clothes to wear, a warm home, tools to make life easier and entertaining (computer, iphones, etc)

- music and movement.

- opportunities to grow and stretch myself, uncomfortable as they may be.

- experiences to try many different things and people and places in my life.

- and mostly, thanks to this very breath that keeps me going here.

...What are you grateful for right now?

Food and us

I don't know if you caught the link to this on my sidebar (under Favourite Blogs and The Fresh Network) recently:

http://fresh-network.typepad.com/fresh_network_blog/2010/07/what-do-you-think-of-the-weston-price-foundations-dietary-recommendations.html#more

I have quite a few friends that follow, and are rather passionate about, the Weston Price diet and the cookbook associated with that - 'Nourishing Traditions'.  I admit to owning that cookbook but frankly only use it for the information in it is that relating to the preparation and cooking of grains.  The high fat and meat content of the rest of the philosophy just does not resonate with me.

I think that's a big thing - if something resonates with you.  When you just 'know' that something is right for you.  Not just by the mental concepts and physical research, but the inner "yes" that speaks to you on a deeper, soul level of just knowing if something will work for you, or not.

I think different diets work for different people.  I do not like it when I'm told that "this is the right way...this is the best way for everyone to eat....you should only be doing this".  If something works for you, I'm honestly happy for you.  But don't try and tell me that I need to change what I'm doing.  I'm not going to tell you to give up meat, so don't tell me I need to eat it.

I've been vegetarian for 16 years, mostly vegan. 
I had a blood two weeks ago.  When going veg, many people are told to take vitamin B12 supplements.  I never have (apart from multi vitamins during pregnancy) and my test showed my B12 to be in the excellent range.  My iron and a couple of hormones were a bit low though.  The combination of the deficiencies though has been leaving me feeling lethargic and very low in motivation for much at all.  It's good to know because I'm not driving myself to work out every single day at the moment.  I'm taking time out to lie in the hammock in the sun and let my body rest. 

Summer and Cary also had blood tests.  It turns out that Summer has Insulin Resistance (pre-diabetes).  Part of our 'unschooling' has also been allowing the children to determine what food they would like to eat, and when, and how much. The thought behind that is that they will self-regulate and get all of the nutrients they actually need.  It works great with the boys.  It does not work with Summer.  I have often thought that there was 'something' going on with Summer, and at different times, after discussion with different health 'professionals', and with Summers agreement, we've tried gluten-free foods, and other slight changes in the foods that Summer ate.  After giving her the majority of the choice in what she ate, and watching her health deteriorate a little more as time passed, we have to make some big changes in what Summer eats and when.  We have to help her own this new way in order to help her health for the rest of her life.  Diabetes has a strong presence in Cary's side of the family.  Summer has obviously inherited that tendency.  Cary tests show that he also has Insulin Resistance, though not as extremely as Summer. 

...update, we went for more tests last week and my iron is now in the 'normal' range.  The only thing I did differently was to add 1 tablespoon of blackstrap molasses into my daily diet.

Community, TV, unschooling

How many homes have you been to where the furniture in the living room is arranged so that everyone has the best view of the television?

I remember a time when living rooms were arranged so that people could actually look at each other and talk together. (yes, I am that old.)

As I was growing up, we had pretty strict limits on watching the TV. We only had four channels, and there wasn't a whole lot on anyway. We never watched it after school - we always shined our shoes, did our homework and went outside to play in the bush or at the creek or riding our bikes. During school holidays, we sometimes watched the 'midday movie' if we were at home, our favourites were the musicals which we would then sing all afternoon, and even longer. I still remember the silly song (which became a family favourite) from "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" with Bing Crosby ..."I'm busy doing nothing working the whole day through...trying to find lots of things not to do...I'm busy going nowhere, isn't it such a crime...I'd like to be unhappy but.........I never do have the time....la la la la....". On the weekends, we maybe watched a couple of shows or a movie, but TV wasn't really a big part of our lives.

As we got older, we watched a little more, but not much. We always preferred swimming or playing snooker or cards or games  or going for a bushwalk or to the beach...you get the idea.

Human beings were not designed to live alone. But so many have turned to the TV for a sense of community. We feel like we belong to the Hannah Montana tribe and the Survivor tribe and the True Blood tribe (etc) and, for brief periods, we get to live in another world, we get caught up in their dramas, we take on the way these people speak and act. The 'stars' of these shows are treated like little gods, paid enormous amounts of money and people spend hours dreaming about them, and try to dress like them and we lose our own individuality.

When one show ends, we skip over to another tribe. How many years of a persons life is used up just randomly skipping around, looking for something to satisfy, complaining that there is "nothing on", but not able to just turn it off and DO something that might satisfy that need for connection with self and other real live people?

I am talking about myself here too. I have not always had a community around me where my kids could feel a part of, people that they could spend hours playing and exploring and working with, and that I have used that big box as a babysitter. It does not feel 'right' to me. A lot of the 'kids' shows show behaviours that I know are not natural to my own children, but they imitate anyway. They disrupt the harmony in our home.

We live what a lot of people would call 'unschooling' in that we do not follow a strict curriculum.  I prefer to call it 'living', or if you need a label - natural learning, life learning, self-designed living.  A lot of unschoolers have no limits on media, food, and pretty much everything their children do.  And I understand why they do that and the incredible Trust that allows them to do that.  However, I don't think it works for everyone. 

We have one main TV and another small one that is only connected to the playstation.  We have two computers. And five people.  We aim to consider everyone's needs, so we can't all have unlimited time on the computer or with the TV. 

I like a couple of shows on TV, like "Glee" and "Doctor Who".  Also, shows about travel, nature and science.  I like hanging out and watching a movie or two, especially if it's raining outside.  I just don't like the TV on all day.  It disrupts MY harmony and I'm a valued member of this family as much as anyone else so I deserve to have my needs taken into account also.

When I met Cary, I was surprised at how much TV he watched.  It was rather foreign to the way I'd lived.  I chose to accept that about him.  It's kind of funny that  he doesn't really like watching it much at all now.  He appreciates spending time with the family connecting, playing, chatting, doing things together, and spending time pursuing other interests he has.

I understand that 'Radical Unschoolers' would state that they see the value in everything their child wants to do, even if that is watching TV every waking moment for days, weeks or months.  If that works for them, that's great.  I'm not trying to RU.  My priority is creating a home, a life, where we all have our needs considered, even if they do not get met right away.  Where the focus is on connection and harmony and Joy and living OUR lives, deeply and fully.

There's so much more to life than being 'programmed' by others...that is why they call them 'programs' isn't it? My goal is to leave the box turned off much more than it has been, to live more in our own reality show, one that is unedited and absolutely authentic.

Tribal Dancing...

The kids and I went to a Tribal Dance at the eco-village last weekend.  We were guided to express ourselves physically within our own comfort zones and ability.  It was a place of non-judgement, only acceptance and finding our own Truth.  Our energy was gradually getting higher and faster until we were all sweating and out of our minds (some more than others) and back to our senses.

We moved as individuals, then as a group...creating community, a tribe if only for a short time, but perhaps taking that feeling out into the wider community in which we live, remembering that we are all connected.  (Until we forget again).

After the dancing, we were guided into meditation...to a place where we were encouraged to get in touch with our Truth as it was alive for us right then.  I had a hand resting on my solar plexus and felt my strength...I mean, really felt it.  I felt my courage and power.   I felt my guiding forces of Peace and Joy and Love.  I felt a deepened acceptance of myself in this phase of my life.  More gratitude for the different colours of gold and silver in my hair, a softening of the lines on my face.  I felt deeply in touch with my true self and very very content.

Delicious Simplicity...

Ah the simple joys just keep on rolling...

This week we rode our bikes to a local playground to meet up with a homeschooling group that we'd never met with before.  We were delighted that there were lots of older kids in the group and Summer made a new friend which she was thrilled about.  The other groups we go to seem to have more older boys than girls.  She doesn't mind playing with the boys, but it is nice for her to have a girl for a friend too. 

On the way home, it started raining a little bit.  We only had about a mile to go so we kept on going.  I could have thought "oh no..we're all going to get wet...it might be slippery...will the kids be ok?".  But I didn't.  I saw my jeans getting darker as the big fat raindrops coloured them...and all I could feel was JOY!  I whooped and laughed at how delicious it felt to be in the fairly warm rain, riding our bikes, feeling free!  The kids picked up on that and started laughing with delight too.

We went home and got into some warm clothes.  For me, I got into my pyjamas.  AJ wanted to go to the library so we went.  Yep, I went to the library in my pj's.  Mind you, to the outside observer, they probably looked like yoga clothes, except that I usually wear a bra to yoga.  Again, I felt a sense of freedom, of really just not caring what anyone else thought.  And that freedom of self is absolutely delicious!

A visit to a friend...

This majestic view is what my friend and her family gets to look at every day.  The photo does not do it justice at all.  It was so easy to feel peaceful and grounded and grateful there.  A part of something truly magnificent, connected to Mother Earth and just a small, but important part of Every Living Thing.

This was a special playdate, a rare time with just Nicholas and I out together visiting new friends.  While us Mums drank tea, Nicholas and his friend climbed trees and dug in the dirt and played with the chickens who were freely wandering around the 7 acre property.  I was so pleased that we went and had a chance to deepen our connection to these gentle friends.

On the way home, we stopped at a roadside produce stand and stocked up on bananas, avocados, tomatoes, and one of the best pineapples I've ever eaten.  There are quite a few of these kind of roadside stands with honesty boxes in the area.  I really liked this one that was converted from an old jeep:

And the view through the window...

...which reminded me of life and death and the passing of time and how nature just keeps on going...

Valedictorian Speech

(The following was read as the valedictorian' s speech at
Coxsackie-Athens High School in recent weeks, creating quite a stir
among administrators, to great applause from students and many of their
parents)


There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his
teacher, and asked the Master: "If I work very hard and diligently, how
long will it take for me to find Zen?" The Master thought about this,
then replied, "Ten years . ." (The student then said, "But what if I
work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast - How long
then?" Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years." "But, if I really,
really work at it, how long then?" asked the student. "Thirty years,"
replied the Master. "But, I do not understand," said the disappointed
student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will
take me longer. Why do you say that?" (Replied the Master, "When you
have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."


This is the dilemma I've faced within the American education system. We
are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as
first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do
whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.


Some of you may be thinking, "Well, if you pass a test, or become
valedictorian, didn't you learn something? Well, yes, you learned
something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned
how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to
clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be.
Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is
to get out as soon as possible.


I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this
as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class.
However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than
my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told
and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud
that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in
the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive
a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I
contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer - not a
worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition - a slave
of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown
that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While
others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in
class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would
come to class without their homework done because they were reading
about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others
were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit,
even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this
position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave
educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I
have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests
because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every
subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning.


John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of
compulsory schooling, asserts, "We could encourage the best qualities of
youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for
surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and
tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving
each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every
now and then. But we don't do that." Between these cinderblock walls,
we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every
standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a
different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and
therefore viewed with contempt.
H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim
of public education is not to fill the young of the species with
knowledge and awaken their intelligence. ... Nothing could be further
from the truth. The aim ... is simply to reduce as many individuals as
possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized
citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the
United States. (Gatto)


To illustrate this idea, doesn't it perturb you to learn about the idea
of "critical thinking." Is there really such a thing as "uncritically
thinking?" To think is to process information in order to form an
opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information,
are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as
truth?


This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an
avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to
open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I
would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels
disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this
ostensibly sane place really is.


And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the
uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either
acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or
insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that
clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that
need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful
achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational
force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from
the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires
us.


We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we
were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this
planet is so special, so aren't we all deserving of something better, of
using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for
creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than
stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we
can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more,
and more still.


The saddest part is that the majority of students don't have the
opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put
through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent
labor force working in the interests of large corporations and
secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of
it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can't run away
to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather
than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure
that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers
meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers,
dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we
want to be - but only if we have an educational system that supports us
rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are
given a healthy foundation.


For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield
to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened.
You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical,
and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you
with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind
instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand
that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good
enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but
focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.


For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do
not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change
the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a
teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept
the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how
to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our
potential is at stake.


For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not
forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come
after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition
stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of
knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have
the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power
for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept
anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.
So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I
was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here
watching me. I couldn't have accomplished this without all of you. It
was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of
you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all
valedictorians.


I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who
maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this
farewell is more of a "see you later" when we are all working together
to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let's go get those pieces of
paper that tell us that we're smart enough to do so!

Erica Goldson
Athens, NY

How are you?

What do you really mean when you ask someone "how are you?".  Are you asking about their physical health?  Mental health?  Busyness?  What? 

I often just resort to the answer "I'm good...how are you?".  But then what do I mean by that?  "I'm good"...my body may be healthy, but my mind may be scattered, my connection to myself way out of balance, but still I say that "I am good". 

Have you ever answered the question with a totally un-normal, unexpected reply to "how are you?"?  Like "I am absolutely fantastic, thanks for asking..."  or "I am amazingly wonderful".  If you have, you'll notice that people often stop for a second and look at you, perhaps a little envious, perhaps trying to figure out if you're on something or just not quite 'right' in the head. 

Asking "how are you" seems like a quick, polite way to connect to someone, but then do we really have the time to hear if the answer turns out to be a long drawn out reply about how the person really is?  What they may be feeling physically or emotionally?   Some of our elderly neighbours love to do that, and I am happy to listen to them.  I enjoy the time that we connect to these interesting women.  My children get a little restless, but they get to see me being patient and kind to others and can choose whether they want to incorporate that into their lives.  If it turns out that whoever I ask is experiencing some kind of pain, be it physical or emotional, that they want to share, I aim to be present for them in sharing that, and I try to project calm, loving energy to them to help them deal with that.

Asking the check out operator at the local store "how are you?" has resulted in one word answers, so in an attempt to connect a little more with those I interact with, I try asking different questions like "what's the best thing about your day so far?".

So many of us are so very busy...what would it be like if we all just slowed down a little and thought about really connecting with everyone we meet, even if just for a moment?  Giving a gift of your time and your energy instead of a standard question that you may not even mean?

When I ask someone that I do know that question, I generally mean...how is your physical health / what have you been up to / what's new? These are all the "safe" topics we were taught to believe are the right way to start a conversation.

What I really want to know, is "what is making your heart sing today?"

I want to know where people's JOY is.  I want to connect IN joy.  I want to interact in a way that will encourage people to touch their own joy, even for a moment. 

I am still working on ways to do this more often, working through old conditionings that I no longer want.

The thing I have found though...is that if I am not feeling connected to my own Joy, it is really hard to help others see theirs.

If you are not too busy, please leave a comment or send me an email rawmum at yahoo dot com...and tell me the best thing about your day today and / or what is making your heart sing...

Thank you...

In Joy...
Annette

The curve ball..

The hardest thing about leaving the USA and moving to Australia, was leaving our dog and cat behind.  We could have brought them, but it would have been a lot of money including the airfare, special handling en route, 5 months of vet tests in the US before 30 days in quarantine in Oz, not to mention the stress on the animals.  Since we've been here, we've had a lot of uncertainty about where we were going to live, if we were going to stay, should we move to a larger house, should we get back on the road, etc.  Throughout it all, the kids (AJ especially) have often asked if we could get a dog - or a cat or a rat or a snake etc, but mostly a dog. 

We really miss a lot of aspects about living on the road.  For me, it was the simplicity of the life, the adventure and living in nature and just being outdoors and active a whole lot more.  With the cooler weather here (well, it is the middle of winter, but we are in the subtropics...days are mid 60's - mid 70's, nights are mid 40's - mid 50's), it's still a bit chilly for us.  We have been talking about getting on the road next February when our lease expires.  It was something we were all very excited about.  Our aim was to slowly head north for the winter and take some time to see if we might find another area we would prefer to live. 

Four days ago, we planned to walk up to the beach but got delayed a couple of times before we could leave.  We walked up the next block and suddenly a little puppy walked onto our path.  We stopped and patted her and then watched as she walked onto the road.  Oh no!  We had to find her home and return her, but she did not have a tag on.  We knocked on a bunch of doors nearby but nobody knew her.  I kept hearing a voice saying "there are no coincidences".  We brought her back to our house for a drink of water and to make a temporary leash.  Then we took her to the local vet to see if she had a microchip.  She did not, but the vet took her in case the owner called anyway.  The puppy was such a sweetheart.  Obviously young, but not hyper.  She was very relaxed in our arms when we had carried her and she just seemed to fit in with the family.  The kids were sad to give her in to the vet, even though we had only had her for about an hour.

We continued to talk about going camping and all of the things we would be doing when we were back on the road.  But we also talked about how sweet the little dog was and how she had fit in with us so easily and what it would be like to have a dog....but could we get back on the road?  Could we do both?  We would be limited in our choices of where we could camp...would it work?  Would it be possible to balance our need for freedom and adventure with the responsibility of owning a dog?   No, we decided, it would be too restricting.  Ok, so 'there are no coincidences'...what did that mean?...was the dog there at the same time we were as a gift for us, or to challenge us to explore what was the most important things to us?  There was a definite feeling of synchronicity.  Would we be denying our family a whole lot of joy and fun and the once-in-a-lifetime experience of the children sharing their childhood with a much loved companion animal?   How often does the right kind of dog just walk across your path?

You can see the curve ball coming can't you?....

So the day after, the owner of the dog called us to thank us for finding her.  And then she said that she is actually trying to place the dog, as she took the dog for a patient of hers who has gone into the hospital for an extended period and cannot care for her.  Were we interested?!   Oh dear.  Cary initially said thanks, but no.  We all felt really sad about that though.    It's a big commitment to take on an animal, especially a puppy.  We didn't want to ever be in the position to have to give an animal up again.   Our heads kept going back and forward over the debate so our hearts stepped up to make the call.   And as soon as Cary called them back to say "yes!", it was though something clicked into place that made our family feel more complete.   I don't know what the future will bring us from here, but I do know that sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith and see how well you fly. 

Having our little girl - a 16 week old Jack Russell weighing 6lbs / 2.5kg, named Gypsy - will bring a new adventure into our lives and enhance the childhood of three very happy children.  She is already encouraging us to get outside more and just be more playful and active.  Things I thought I needed to get back on the road to experience.  Hmm...where will this lead us?  I don't know, but I have a feeling, it will be all good!

Personal Training myself..

In my life BC (before children), I worked as a Personal fitness trainer and Aerobics instructor (and a part time gig as a Reiki practitioner as well which kind of balanced my energy - the physical / mental of the fitness work with the Spiritual of the Reiki work).  Anyway...back then, I could not quite figure out why it was so hard to motivate some of my clients.  Well guess what?  I have become my clients!  Middle aged, extra pounds, and very little motivation.  I have recognised this in me for several months now and well, haven't been very motivated to do anything about it.  Until now...my body just does not seem as efficient as it used to be and I know I need to move more to fix that.

So I accessed my former self and asked her to come up with a fitness plan that would suit my needs for simplicity, time-efficiency and fun while improving my fitness.  What she came back with is something I think will actually work!

60 minutes of something aerobic per day.  Preferably something like a 30+ minute bike ride or hike with the family in the morning and a 30+ minute walk to the beach and along the soft sand (for an extra workout), by myself so I can listen to a podcast or some groovy music.  Yes, that's do-able.  I need to also work on my strength now that I no longer lift little children throughout the day.  On days that I don't do the Green Challenge, I will aim to work up to doing 50 each of squats, push ups and crunches.  This week though, I am telling myself I only need to do one set of 10 reps of each (slowly).  If I miss a day then I need to do an extra set the next day.  Oh yeah, I'm a tough coach! (I'm not even going to think of how pathetic this programe is compared to what I used to do!)  I never have to do more than 50 of each, but when that is too easy, then I need to do them very very slowly and / or with extra weight.  Those three exercises cover all of the main muscle groups. Doing the Green Challenge seems to find any others I may have missed!   I'm grateful that my PT self came up with the three exercises plan - simple and brilliant!

One good thing about being older while working with this programme is that I don't feel fanatical about it.  I fit the exercise in around everything else.  And I am gentle with myself too.  I accept that I am getting older and my metabolism has changed and I know that in order to age more easily, I need to do this.  I believe that flexibility is also important so I will work in some stretching and yoga wherever possible.  Looking forward to a fitter future and longer paddles in my kayak!

Awe.Some!

As we put another $70 worth of petrol in the car, I knew we had been getting lazy...taking the car to the store, the post office or the park instead of riding bikes. I knew I had to change things, at least for myself. I had to get back to being more aware of the choices I make. Not just for the environment, but also for my own health and fitness.

Last week Cary and AJ went to the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary that is one suburb away from us. They went on the Green Challenge which is a treetops ropes course. They loved it so much that Cary insisted we get a years membership for the whole family. Yesterday we signed up and I got to have a go. Oh. My. Golly. That was soooooo much fun! I just loved loved loved it! I felt so free! We get an extra discount for being locals so the cost for the entire family for the year was cheaper than a gym membership for just one of us. Plus, we are outside working out, having fun, communing with nature and listening to the birds and animals which I'll take any day over a noisy, smelly gym! We do plan riding our bikes there once we get Cary another bike. Apart from the ropes courses, there are many Australian birds and animals to view and interact with and a fantastic playground for the smaller kids.

Nicholas on the flying fox in the playground:

Summer going for a stroll through the trees :

Me, dancing in the treetops (Cary said I looked happier in the trees than I did on the ground. I really felt so relaxed up there.)

AJ & I hanging around:


We got to tarzan-swing onto a net that we then had to climb up. There were so many different, very cool challenges! Poles to walk over, swinging planks, tubes to crawl through, nets, ladders, zip lines etc. I did all of the courses except for the extreme 'black' course. I'll leave that one until my strength improves.

AJ zipping along...

This one was a bit tough, each step was a swing:

Summer had been unsure about doing the course, but she took her time, and would tell herself "I am strong" whenever she felt unsure. She did the beginners course, and I was very proud of her, and more importantly, she was proud of herself! She is looking forward to doing it again.

Our family is so thrilled to have this membership and to support the Wildlife Sanctuary who do a lot to encourage environmental awareness. I am looking forward to getting fitter and stronger in such a playful way! This really honours my needs for freedom and adventure and family fun!

a lesson for me...

We enjoyed the passes we had to the big amusement parks for the past few months. Well, towards the end, Cary and I were pretty much over it, and the kids seemed more interested in the gaming section than the rides. We were there last week and looking around at the different games. Most of the games are the kind that shoot out tickets after a game and the tickets can be traded in for prizes. The day that we were there, AJ saw a new machine that had prizes inside of it and the prize that he saw and wanted was a big rack of tickets! I said to him that I have never seen anyone win on those kind of machines, and I suggested that he play a different game, where I knew he would get about 40 tickets.

He would not be denied! He had his eye on that big ol' rack of tickets and he wanted it! He watched other people playing the machine and tried to see if there was any method to it. All you had to do was pull a lever and a wheel spun around until it got to a number. In three spins, you had to accrue enough points to get past a high number where you had the option to choose a little prize, or you could choose three more spins to get to a higher number and a larger prize. Cary gave the kids his last coin to play the game. They each took a turn pulling the lever and were able to get to the next level. So they took turns again...and WON the tickets!!! I received a lesson then in watching what I say...I always go along with the big dreams that AJ has, like his invention ideas...why didn't I support his smaller goal? After all, it's often with a series of smaller goals achieved that one has the confidence to go for the larger goals.

How many tickets were there? 1000! Well over the 40 he may have gotten on the 'safe' game.
Even though I was trying to avoid him being disappointed by not playing the risky machine, he proved to me that sometimes, you just have to take a gamble ...you never know! And he is right...life itself is a gamble and I have not always been the one to play by the rules and take the 'safe' path.

A funny little thing though...once he had the tickets, he had no idea of what he wanted to do with them. So the kids decided that as they had all contributed, they would just split them so they each got a variety of candy and novelties.