moving in, moving on

We are living in a house!

We moved in last Thursday. That day, Cary and I kept saying to each other "this feels weird". And we spoke about the next time we go on the road - in a much bigger camper. As I unpacked the first load of stuff, I thought that it was nice to be able to spread out a bit. As Cary brought all of the stuff from storage, I initially wanted to get rid of it all, as I didn't want to get cluttered, but I knew we had some special stuff in there. As I started unpacking it, I found lots of the kids toys and books. I'd take arm loads of things into Summers room. She started getting agitated and then finally said "Ahhhh...that's enough stuff....no more in my room!!!" She, who used to like having all of her things around her, now wants most of it in a box in the garage that she can go to when she wants. She wants her room kept simple and neat. Preferably with no boys bothering anything in there.

After a few days of being in the house, I stopped counting the number of days left in our lease and started to think "this is nice". This is not a big house, but I am delighting in the space. Especially at night when we can easily move around inside without bothering anyone else. Nicholas has been loving pushing cars up and down the hallway and re-discovering toys the toys from storage. AJ must have been really pent up because he can hardly keep still. When we sit down in the evening - on our big 'proper' couch - he is constantly bouncing, turning upside down, getting up and down, going back and forth to the kitchen, dancing with the commercials for 'Australian Idol' and being very busy.

As I put all of the boys toys into their room, it felt way too busy. I've since reduced it a bunch and it feels much better and they can get to the things they actually play with a lot easier. We'll have a yard sale in a few weeks when I've finished going through the boxes in the garage. I've been through everything once, but will need to do it again now that I'm not in a hurry to get the house set up.

I've been doing a ton of washing, as I had many more sheets and towels in storage than I remembered. Luckily, this house has one of the good old huge rotary clothes lines typical of many Aussie homes and I can get about six loads of washing on it easily. As I was folding some of the sheets, I realised that this house does not have a lot of storage room, and how many sheets do we really need? We have a large linen cupboard in the hallway, but I've taken up one whole shelf with my books to avoid buying an extra book shelf. I just don't want excess furniture or stuff around us. One stack of sheets and two stacks of towels (one for beach & one for bath) in the linen cupboard should be plenty. A short stack of pillowcases, another for tablecloths and place mats, and a larger one for cloth napkins should only take up one whole shelf. Then I have another shelf for the kids games and craft stuff. I'm enjoying setting up the house keeping it simple but setting up enough stuff to enjoy and spread out. I'm really looking forward to having that yard sale and getting rid of a lot more stuff. We have a goal of how much money we want to raise and will use some of that for a 12-month family pass to the local bird & wild-life sanctuary.

Nicholas has been having a fever on and off for the past week, as well as a bit of a cold. He's having a major growth spurt with it as his clothes are all suddenly shorter and his speech has changed - not his voice, but the way he thinks and puts sentences together. He's been playing by himself more, chattering away to the little people and cars, imagination in overdrive. (what a beautiful thing!)

We just put a child's seat on the back of my bike for him so we can start riding our bikes to a lot more places and use the car less. Summer and AJ had gotten used to riding their bikes in the caravan park and are now getting more confident about riding on the roads. Most of the roads around here have a bike lane which is great but there are often cars parked in them so they are learning to be careful when riding around the parked cars, especially if there is a car coming from behind. The lane is usually wide enough to allow for that, I was concerned that they might panic a little in that situation but they were fine.

As we pulled down the camper last week, I realised that I hadn't taken any photos of the set up we had that time. Nor had I taken photos of the kids or anything for quite a while. I must change that.

Enjoy your day!

We're moving!

Yesterday marked one year that we've been living in the caravan. It was fitting that it was also the day that we signed the lease on the house we'll be moving into on Thursday! We got the house I put the application in for - even though I'm "not working"!

The weather has been so beautiful lately and there is no rain predicted for some time. I bet the first time it does rain, I'll happily dance from room to room delighting in all the dry space. I am looking forward to having some extra space for us all to spread out and not be so cramped. The house is a basic 3 bedroom place with a good size covered patio and a fenced yard. It also has some garden and an area they called a greenhouse, but it's not a true greenhouse. It's more like an area suitable for plants, with walls on 3 sides. We should be able to grow some veges and I'm looking forward to starting a compost.

So the chapter closes on this particular segment of our lives. We definitely want to continue this at some point. Maybe not full time, maybe just as a winter get-away. who knows? The adventures continue!

lately around here...

Nicholas (3) has said several times in the past few days "I don't want to get bigger", as he snuggles into me. I think he realises that he's getting closer to weaning and does not want to give up the "oobie". He usually only has oobie around bed time, but he does like to know he can still have it anytime during the day if he wants. Before he was born, our midwife would feel my belly and say that the baby felt "really juicy". He was born in the bag and from his first moment out of that, he has always been "juicy". He is just so vibrant and loves to experience everything he can.

AJ (7) loves to rough-house with Nicholas and Cary, he teaches Nicholas all the different things he learned in gymnastics and he still loves the wild birds and is very gentle around all animals. He appears to be in a dreamy world a lot of the time but he's always thinking about how things work and relate together. He's very interested in words at the moment and is always asking "what does this say?". He loves to look at comic books and try to figure out what they are saying by looking at the story in pictures.

Summer (10.5) still enjoys drama class ..and being dramatic. She has a very strong will and feels happiest when we have a planned rhythm so she knows what to expect. I try to do that for her, but things tend to change at the last minute on a regular basis around here. That can be hard for her. If she is in balance she can handle it, but sometimes the slightest thing sets her off and she'll be on a roll for the rest of the day. She doesn't like to be rushed or feel like she has too many things to do. She has her own unique style in clothes and loves to listen to my music like Amy Steinberg. She's getting taller, and often borrows my shoes or clothes.

Cary has been feeling frustrated with trying to do business here. He's finding roadblocks with silly little rules and regulations. But, he's bouncing back and looking into new avenues which is exciting.

I put an application in on a rental house a couple of days ago. When I dropped it off, the lady at the counter looked it over and said "oh. you're not working?". I smiled and said "I'm raising 3 children, that's a full-time job." She gave a fake smile and looked back at the app. I keep hearing from people that it doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank, or how creative you are in creating your own income, the realtors want to see proof that you have a paid job. One of the frustrating silly rules. Anyway, the right place will turn up for us.

House hunting

Ah the joys of looking for a rental! We looked around the area we are already in. We love being near the beach and the relaxed feel of the community here. The houses we looked at seemed either small or overpriced. So we thought we'd look in other areas. We found another area 30 minutes north west of here that we thought would work. After a lot of research, phone calls and driving around, we lined up with a bunch of other families to inspect the interior of several homes. Then there was the process of filling out a long application form and include 12 different documents to back it up - proof of ID, finances and personal references.

I felt like we were just filling out forms to try and get anything once we'd decided to get a house. I would lay awake at night thinking of which houses we needed to look at next and which one would be better for us. I was torn between getting an exact picture in my mind of the place I wanted and manifesting it via the Law of Attraction, and getting a feeling of the place I wanted and Trusting God to provide it.

Yesterday the kids and I went to look at the other area again. While we were there we stopped at the top of a hill and looked east over miles of suburbia, the high rise of the commercial - touristy area and there, way way off, was my friend, the ocean. I felt a strong pull towards her. When we got back to the area that we are currently staying, I drove straight to the beach, got out of the car and took a deep breath. My soul said "thank you".

Using this very strong feeling as my guide, it is clear to me that I am happiest as a beach girl. The rest of the family loves it here too. It reflects Who We Are. So now that we are getting clear about that, a place will soon become available for us. The picture is getting clear and I Trust that it's all coming together perfectly. I feel much more relaxed about the process now.

soggy wonderland

That beautiful sunny winter weather did not last. We turned a very chilly corner and soon a cocktail of heavy rain, strong winds and cold air was surrounding us. We've been through similar times before and they always pass. It's challenging for me though as I really, really do not like to be cold.

Yesterday was a total veg day. Summer stayed in her PJ's all day and we watched movies (Summer and I laughed and cried together watching 'Little Women' again), played games and read all day. Meals were things we could put together quickly as we didn't want to stand outside in the cold for too long preparing things. I think the high got to 16 C but the wind chill brought that way down. Cary took the boys out later in the day to go to the mall to run around as they were getting antsy being cooped up all day.

Cary mentioned several days ago that he thought we should look at getting a house. Several reasons. One of those is price - to stay in a nice park is reasonable except during holidays. We have to book now for the 6 week holiday period over summer (Christmas time) as most parks are already booked. To do so, we have to pay for our entire stay - in full - by October. And, the cost of doing so, is not much different from renting a house. As we cannot predict the weather for that time, and would not be happy to stay in one place - in this camper - if we had another super wet summer, and as we plan on being in this area at least until March, it just makes sense. Then there's the benefit of having more inside personal space when the weather is not good. Or even if it's something we would like when the weather is good.

I had adapted to this lifestyle so much that I no longer considered getting a house. I had accepted the weather and just did whatever we needed to do to deal with it and ride it out. But really, this style of camper is not suitable for our size family to do this long term. Stepping outside this morning to soggy ground, even with the thick rubber mats we have around, Summer finding that most of her clothes were damp because her cabinet was too close to the wall of the gazebo, the kids watching tv and chattering next to me (I love them, but it makes it a little hard to think) has my inner being saying "ok, that's enough". It is time to move on. We would like to do this again, but with a much bigger rig. Previously when we had discussed getting a house, I felt sad about leaving this lifestyle. Now I am ready. I was concerned that I would get caught up in doing things - the general busyness that comes with having a home - and I would forget the simple life.

I'm beyond that now. The simple life has become something within me - a mindset that I can take anywhere. It's not about the way I DO any thing, it's the way that I AM. This experience has been priceless in helping me achieve this.

Being here now

If you had asked me 30, 20 or even 10 years ago, where I thought I'd be when I was in my 40's, I definitely would not have thought I'd be where I am today.

Thinking back on the roller coaster of angst and restlessness I've felt since late childhood, I can see how every step has brought more clarity of Who I Really Am. There have been plenty of times where I felt as though the feeling of sinking into quicksand was overwhelming though as I surrendered into that, the ground beneath me became firm and I was able to come through with new insights.

I used to think that everyone else around me had it all together, that I was the only one who felt lost, confused, without clear direction or meaning. I was afraid of voicing these feelings, thinking that others would laugh at me. I stuffed feelings down with food & other unhealthy habits, kept myself busy with work, a see-saw of partying or working out too much, later children, mothers groups, committees, shopping, etc, all things to keep my mind busy with mundane mediocrity to keep me from listening to my heart - my true guide of how I should be living.

At times I found it easier, maybe even 'safer' (for my ego), to hold myself back through comparison with others. Knowing that I could never be as 'good' as them (as creative, smart, funny, pretty, etc) allowed me to hold myself back. How silly, how sad. How happy that we are raising our children in a way that they are safe to express their feelings, their desires, their needs. That they are encouraged to follow their dreams and try lots of different things to help them discover Who They Really Are.

There were times when my heart would try to guide me. It would send me messages through books, people, movies, a bumper sticker....things that would lead me to a vague restlessness and knowing that somehow, something was not in alignment with the way I was living. I tried to be positive, do affirmations and "Bloom where I was Planted". Always looking for..for..something I didn't even know, but I knew it was something really important.

I am grateful that I knew that I was asleep and sought to find my way to being fully awake - to living in a state of awareness. I no longer compare myself with others. I know that this is MY path, that we all have a different path and that we should not try to make others conform to our way. That we need to support each other on their way to BEcoming - coming to BE themselves.

Gratitude is such a wonderful healer. Even when things are not going the way we think, it helps to say "I'm not sure why this is happening, but Thank You". Doing this helps you to see why something may have happened. Maybe you were trying too hard to force something to go your way. Or maybe you had strayed from the path that you were meant to be on and had forgotten - had not listened to yourself.

I think the thing I had been looking for was me - the real me. Releasing my own expectations of what I thought others expected from me, freeing myself from all kinds of baggage has been a long process.

Yes, I never thought all of those years ago that I could be in such a wonderful place, full of inner peace and abundance. The challenge in my life was first to realise that it was MY life, to release the limitations I'd put on myself, and then reveal Who I Really Am. Kind of like peeling the layers on a juicy piece of fruit and then discovering how sweet and succulent the inside is. The joy I feel at times is such a delight that I find myself having a little chuckle. Like I have a delicious secret. But I wish everyone knew. ...

You don't have to DO a whole bunch of stuff to live a rich live, you just have to have the courage to BE more to live a whole, abundant life.

I'm not claiming to have found enlightenment, but I know that I am on the path. I've made it to base camp 1 and as I continue on my path, I know the view will just get better.

I hope you are having a beautiful day, no matter what the weather.

winter wonderland

Nicholas: "Daddy?"
Cary: "Yes Nicholas?"
Nicholas: "Can I you Dad?"
Cary: "Yes Nicholas."
Nicholas: "Thanks Daddy."

Nicholas has very strong opinions on how things should be in his life. I think that's great. We were at a car boot (trunk) market this morning, a trash n treasure type of market. I was looking for some more pyjamas for Nicholas. I found one stall that had several pairs of pj's that looked like they would fit him. I called Nicholas over to measure some against him and he told me that he liked the blue pair with spiders on them, but not the green pair. He said in a very matter-of-fact way, "I like these - buy them for me...no, not the green ones, just the blue". The ladies at the stall thought he was very cute. Of course I agree!

We are having glorious weather here today. It's the middle of winter and we are all in shorts and t-shirts. Several days ago it was very chilly. We had to move campgrounds again and it was hard getting my fingers to work in the cold morning. We are getting very efficient at moving and it didn't seem to take long to load up. We set our outside stuff up a little differently than before and it seems as though we have more room in the gazebo.

We are back at the campground that we were at before our last move. Summer and AJ and I really liked the place we just left as we enjoyed being walking distance to lots of great places. However, it was a little noisier as it was closer to the highway, even though this park is larger and has more kids. We are on a different site to what we've been on before here. This site is really large and we are across from a large grassy area with a huge sandpit that the kids have been enjoying.

Yesterday we baked 3 loaves of banana bread and today we made a double batch of waffles. The kids and Cary have been enjoying hanging out in the warm weather and playing ball and swimming in the heated pool here. It's now over 11 months that we've been living this life. Life is sweet!

A new school term starts here tomorrow. Time to get back into some homeschooling activities. Summer wants to continue with drama and AJ wants to continue with gymnastics. Those classes plus meeting up with other homeschoolers, exploring some of the hinterland areas and taking some train trips to the city is how we plan on filling in the next couple of months that we'll be here. I hope the weather stays this nice!